Title: "At the Beep"
Spoilers: "After Heroes pt II" and the beginning of "Resurrection"
Archive: Yes, please!
Summary: Jack's TRYING to recover!
Author's note: Just some short silliness I thought up while doing laundry today.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its wonderful characters are not mine, they belong to MGM and TPTB at Bridge. I just borrowed them for a while.
"How long before we meet up with Agent Barrett?" Sam asked from the backseat.
Daniel glanced at his watch. "Oh, about ten minutes or so."
Sam took the cell phone from her pocket. "I'm going to check on the Colonel. Anyone talk to him today?"
"I talked to him this morning," Daniel said.
"As did I," Teal'c intoned.
"He, uh, wasn't in a very good mood," Daniel turned to look at her pointedly.
"He's in a lot of pain. That's not going to make anyone in a very good mood." Sam's voice was sympathetic. She dialed the number, and Daniel watched as she listened, but never said anything. After a minute her eyes got rather large, and she quietly hung up.
"Well?" Daniel's eyebrows were raised in question.
"Uh...let's just say he's still not in a very good mood." Sam's face was a little flushed.
"Why? What did he say?" Daniel was puzzled.
Sam passed him the phone. "You call him. Turn on the speaker."
Daniel frowned at her briefly before hitting redial. The phone rang the usual three times before the answering machine picked up. Instead of the usual terse, "Jack O'Neill. Leave a message," He heard Jack's voice say in an overly pleasant tone:
'This is Jack O'Neill. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm UNCONSCIOUS!" The voice suddenly sounded exactly like Jack--Jack when he was really, really irritated. "If this is Daniel, Carter or Teal'c, and I KNOW it is, in answer to your question, how am I doing? Not good. My ribs hurt like hell, thank you very much. Yes, I've taken my pain medication, and no, I don't need anything and I DON'T want any company. Carter, I don't need any soup, ice cream, orange juice or herbal tea. I have plenty of blankets, a heating pad, an ice bag-and ICE! Daniel, no I don't want to talk about it, and no it wouldn't make me feel better if I did. Teal'c, I CAN'T friggin' Kel-no-reem, I wish I could, but even if I could, I COULDN'T, because you three call me every five minutes to see how I'm doing! Now, all I want to do is sleep, so please, for cryin' out loud, LEAVE ME ALONE! I appreciate your concern, I really do, but in a minute you're going to get a beep, and I beg you, please, please DON'T leave a message! I promise, I will call you all in a few days after I get some sleep!
Daniel hung up and turned to look owlishly at Sam. "Whoa."
"I do not understand why he will not try to Kel-no-reem." Teal'c murmured.
Sam and Daniel looked at Teal'c silently.
"Well," Daniel cleared his throat. "Guess we should wait until next week before we call him again."
"At least." Sam added.
Just then they pulled up outside the warehouse where Barrett had asked to meet them. When he asked where O'Neill was, none of the three would look at the others when Sam answered that he was still recovering and had taken some time off.