Can Love Save Me?
A/N: I am attempting to finally start this fic. I hope to get my others updated today, as well. Those of you who have not watched the trailer for this, the link is /watch?vCpUjiJq86uE. Basically Langston seems okay from the outside, but something is terribly wrong. May include current Langston storyline, but I am not really sure yet
Langston Wilde went up to her bedroom. She just could not deal with anymore today. She loved Starr, but she was so tired of her drama. She had a life too, and it all just overwhelmed her in a really big way. The only thing that did not seem to irritate her was Markko, but sometimes even he got to her. He was always talking about some thing or another, things that today just seemed so trivial. She wished that she could find a way to escape it all, but sighed that it was going to be like any other day of just going through the motions, while inside screaming. She looked over at the picture of her parents and grabbed it. She hoped that one day she could stop being so angry at them for leaving her. She was sixteen years old, stuck in the middle of all this chaos, and it was their entire fault. She should have been able to grow up a normal teenager, fighting with them over mundane things, but instead she was stuck in the middle of all this chaos. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and looked at the wallpaper with a smile. She loved Markko so much. She remembered when they took this picture last year at the amusement park on the school trip. It was the one day that she let herself just get away from all the drama and be happy with the guy that she loved. She decided to call him and see what he was doing. He always seemed to know how to make her feel better, no matter what. She dialed his number and waited for him to answer.
"Hey, babe, what are you up to?"
"I just got off of work. What are you up to?"
"I was just bored, and you know the usual chaos of living here."
Markko got a worried look. "Are you okay with all that? I know it stresses you out sometimes."
"I don't know. Sometimes I just wish…I don't know."
"You wish what, babe?"
She took a breath. "I guess sometimes I just wish I could be a normal sixteen year old girl, not some freak stuck with all this crap."
"I like that you're a freak."
She laughed a little. "How do you do that?"
"Make me almost believe that everything could be okay, even though I know it won't ever be."
"Lang, you are really worrying me. Do you want me to come over?"
"Markko, you just got home. I'll be fine."
"No, that's it. I am coming over. I'll see you in fifteen minutes." He hung up the phone before she could argue. He really hated seeing her so miserable. He hated all the drama she had to go through and wished that he could just protect her from all that. He drove over to La Boulaie, and he found her in the kitchen eating a bowl of ice cream. He kissed her cheek. "Hey, are you eating ice cream without me?"
She smiled. "Are you jealous?" He kissed her lips this time. "Always, I do like that taste of chocolate." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeper, wanting to forget the pain. She needed to feel whole again. It was just one of those days when it was what she needed so that she could avoid crying herself to sleep once again. She deepened the kiss even more.
He finally broke away. "I have to come see you more often."
She kissed his neck. "Take me upstairs and make love to me."
He gave her a look. "Langston, baby, that's what you need right now."
She got defensive. "What is with you? You are seventeen. Do you not want to have sex? Most guys would jump at the chance and you always have to turn me down. What is wrong with you?"
He scowled at her. "I am sorry if I do not want your first time to be all about you just using me as a warm body so that you do not cry yourself to sleep when you're so depressed you cannot think."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Babe, I am just worried about you. It's not that I do not want you. I just do not want you to look back on it and hate me. It could destroy us. We have seen sex destroy before. I cannot let that happen to us too."
She knew that he was right but was honestly not hearing anything but that he did not want her even after this long. He was like her parents, and making her feel like she just was not good enough. Maybe he was right. "Markko, leave…now!"
She screamed at him. "You are not willing to help, so just get away from me."
He tried to take her in his arms, but she would not let him even hold her. "Okay, I will go. But, you need to know I am here."
She did not even look at him. "If you were here, you will help. Clearly you are not here, and I cannot count on anyone but me, ever." He looked at her really hurt, but finally did just leave. She wanted to stop him but the pain was so intense that she could not. She did not know why, but she made herself three more bowls of ice cream before finally going back to her room. She felt extremely sick and needed to lie down. She did not know what had made her eat all the ice cream. She finally got up to her room and looked at herself in the mirror. She hated what she saw. She just wanted it all to go away. She sat on her bed still feeling worse and worse. She did not know what to do. Every bone in her body was screaming and nothing would make the pain stop. She finally stood up and went into the bathroom.
She walked in there and all she felt was cold and empty. She needed to feel in control of her life again, and not spiraling out of control. She looked in the mirror again and finally made the decision. She kneeled down next to the toilet, and stuck her finger down her throat just past her gag reflex. She felt the need to stop, but she could not. She needed to stop the pain. It was all a blur for the next few minutes, until she stood up and washed her face.
She was confused now. She felt so lost and alone before, but now she felt strangely in control. . She knew that some people would think she was wrong, but it made her feel better and that is what matters. She went back in her bedroom and fixed her makeup. Langston really felt bad about what she had said to Markko. She knew that he was just trying to help, and she missed him already. She decided to text him. "Hey, babe. I lay down for a bit. I feel better. Please come back. I miss you." She hoped he did not hate her. Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. She ran to it and it was Markko. He looked at her worriedly.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I guess I was just tired." They went into the living room. Markko could not help but shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. She was so upset and now she seemed so normal.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I am fine. I have you. That is all I need. I love you."
He wrapped his arms around her. "I love you too; Langston and you can always talk to me."
She smiled at him. "I know that. I know that you are not willing to sleep with me, but can we at least make out since this house is actually empty?"
He smiled at her. "I think I can manage that." He pulled her into a passionate kiss and kissed her deeply. He could not help but really worry that this was just the beginning. He tried to push those thoughts down and focus on her, but something was not right.
Langston focused on kissing him and being in love. For the first time in a while, she felt so in control and knew that it was just a one time thing. She just needed to push the pain down, for now.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Will it just be a one time thing or is Langston spiraling out of control in a big way? Will Markko save her before it is too late? Stay Tuned.