Disclaimer: I told you I don't own Naruto, what more do you want?! BLOOD?!


"Urgh, un. Sasori no Danna! WHERE'S MY CURE?"

"If you will be so stupid as to drink so much then you must suffer the consequences!"

Next day in the Lair, and all the Akatsuki were in the living room. The two artists were now having their customary morning row.

"The hell with consequences! I want fizzygood! Where the fuck is Tobi?! Little shit's never around when you need him, un."

"...Idiot brat! You refuse to learn that... What on earth are you rambling on about?"

"Fizzygood! Fizzygood makefeelnice, un!"

"Alka-Seltzer," clarified Konan, handing Deidara a glass.

"WILL YOU ALL BE QUIET!" bellowed Leader, trying to watch the news. He turned up the volume.

"...was discovered by binmen in the early hours of this morning, lying near-unconscious behind fashionable new bar 'The Morgue'. Though he has no memory of the attack, police believe Damien to have been mugged as he stepped out from the party for some fresh air, as his wallet was missing. The artist is currently in hospital undergoing treatment for his injuries, which doctors have described as 'quite severe'. At present..."

All eyes turned to Sasori, who just looked smug.