Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for Avalon P.1, Avalon P.2, Memento Mori, and the SGA ep. The Lost Tribe.
And she's everything I ever wanted
His hand trailed the length of her body, from shoulder to thigh. Her skin was warm and damp under his touch, the remaining evidence of what they'd only finished doing a few minutes before.
Minutes. Mere minutes and he was already craving her again. The feel of her under his caress was quenching the thirst, but it would only go so far. She was intoxicating. Like a drug and he was once again seeking a fix.
Placing his hand flat on her stomach, he pulled her back against him. His mouth found her neck, kissing it lazily. He was beyond just touching. Needed more…needed to satisfy the need.
She sighed and shifted. He groaned. She smelled and tasted of sex and so much more and he couldn't get enough. If this was addiction, he'd gladly succumb to it. Too long he'd gone without. He wanted to be addicted…wanted to have her all to himself.
His hand on her stomach slowly drifted down, and she let out a pleased little laugh. He smiled at it, high off of her everything. Stopping his hand just short of its destination, he began to stroke and caress. She whimpered and squirmed.
"Such a tease…" Her voice was rough and demanding, exotic as always. She rubbed against him purposely and his touching faltered with the movement. "Stop tormenting me."
He grinned, kissing her neck again and obeying her order. The hand went the rest of the way down, and she shuddered when it hit the mark. "Oh, Daniel…"
Daniel pulled in a deep breath, her pleasured cry seeming to echo in his ears as he opened his eyes. He was greeted by darkness, his own ragged breathing and racing heartbeat pounding in his ears.
Closing his eyes again, Daniel swallowed hard. A dream…another dream just like all the rest. His wild mind conjuring fantasies to compensate for involuntary abstinence. Shifting against cool sheets clinging to his sweat-soaked skin, he groaned.
He needed relief.
Carefully, Daniel extracted himself from the sheets and made his way over to the bathroom. Closing the door, he leaned back against it and reached into his pajama pants. He willed the images from his dream to return, screwing up his face in concentration as he got down to business.
The feel of her warm flesh. Her smell and taste. Her laugh, her voice…she'd called his name. His name, so needy and wanting. Want…want. God, he wanted her so much he was jonesing.
Daniel let out a sound of relief as pleasant release washed over him. He tried to find some joy in it, but like all the nights before it was unfulfilling. Just another part of the torture that had become his nights alone.
Shakily, he extracted his hand and took the few steps over to the sink. As he set to work washing his hands, he let out a sigh. This was becoming a habit, one that he couldn't seem to stop. No matter what he did or tried, the dreams kept coming.
Turning the faucet off, Daniel shook his hands and then ran them over his face and through his hair. He took a glance at himself in the mirror. Damn, he looked as exhausted as he felt. Night after night of fantasizing was taking its toll.
But beyond the sleep deprivation and self-embarrassment was something more. An almost wild look of need shined out faintly. The burning want from his dreams sprung to life, and Daniel closed his eyes for a moment. He licked his lips, pulling in a deep breath and hoping it would bring her scent along with it.
Part of him wanted to cry out. This was getting out of hand. Now he was feeling the need for her in his waking mind and body. Insanity and too many years alone had gotten the better of him, it seemed.
Still, he was practically dying to hold her. Feel her. Have her. A dull ache across his entire body. The urgency for release was gone, but not the urge.
Stop tormenting me.
Daniel opened his eyes at the remembered words. He stared at his reflection, watching a look of understanding and determination come to it. There was only one way to make it stop.
Pushing off the counter, Daniel quickly snagged a shirt off his desk chair while heading for the door. He swung it open, leaving it that way as he continued across the hall to the quarters on the other end. His knock on the door was loud and desperate.
Daniel crossed his arms, resting his shoulder against the wall just beside the door. He thought he heard noise on the other end, but couldn't be sure. Anxiously, he started to bounce a little.
When the door finally opened, it revealed her to be sleepy and tousled. Gorgeous, he thought. Fucking gorgeous. The burning ache doubled and Daniel had to fight the orders his mind was issuing. Take her. This is what you want. Take her now.
"Daniel?" Vala mumbled, squinting tiredly at him. She leaned heavily on the door. "Is everything alright?"
Still bouncing, Daniel dropped his gaze to the floor and licked his lips. "We need to talk." He said, sounding as desperate as he felt. His eyes slowly moved upward to look into hers. They stared back, penetrating and searching. Finding exactly what he'd hope they would.
Vala let out a small sigh, sounding so much like a release. "Okay." She whispered and stepped aside to create a space for him to come in. Daniel didn't hesitate to enter, feeling every bit like the junkie he'd seemed to become.
He didn't care. Wanting Vala too much made caring impossible.
And everything I need
Vala's been avoiding me all day. Alright, in truth she hasn't really been avoiding me. She's taken care of me like she has been doing since I came home messed up from that Atlantis excursion. You know, helping me around the house, making sure I don't fall and ruin all the hard work Dr. Lam put in to patching me up.
But that's all it's been. Her usual flirt, which she has toned down since my homecoming, is almost nonexistent. She's only around when it's time for some more medication or if I need help with something or other. Then she's back off cleaning or whatever she's been doing around my house for the past two weeks.
I'm thinking it's got something to do with the kiss. The one I gave her last night without much warning. I couldn't help myself. She's been so wonderful since I came back, and she'd put so much work into that dinner, which came out amazingly. Maybe springing something on her like that while slightly loopy on pain meds wasn't the best idea. Think she might have gotten the wrong impression.
I wasn't messing with her. Honest. I'd truly gotten the overwhelming urge to kiss her right at that moment. I've had a lot of time to think about things since being laid up, and she's been the prominent feature of such thoughts. Love has too. I was hoping the kiss would've shown that.
Now I'm just hoping she'll stay in the room long enough so I can explain myself. Tell her what she's come to mean to me.
She finally glides into the room, clearly avoiding my gaze as she sets to work cleaning up the collection of dishes that has gathered throughout the course of the day. I reach out when she's close enough, brushing my fingers across her back lightly.
"Hey, can we talk?" Somewhere deep inside, it hurts when she tenses under my touch.
Vala gives a little shake of her head. "Maybe later, darling." She continues to pile dishes into her hands. "Still too much to do, and not enough day left to do it in."
I close my eyes. "Vala." My voice gets a fraction louder, and I hope it'll be enough. It still hurts to do anything too strenuous, even raise my voice. Opening my eyes, I see she has chosen to ignore me completely this time and is about to make a break for the kitchen.
"Vala!" I have to close my eyes again and wince. Yeah, that one definitely hurt. When I open them back up, she's standing there watching me. I can see she's debating whether to see if I'm okay, or if she should keep ignoring me. I'm making her choose the first option.
"Come here, please." I say it nicely, but use a tone that means business. Thank you, Jack, for teaching me such a lovely skill. Vala gets the message and moves back over to the couch. I shift over, wincing. It's almost insulting when Vala doesn't sit down right away.
"Sit." Great, now I'm ordering her around like a dog. It's annoying me having to talk to her like this. She always has to make it more difficult than needed. Doesn't mean I care for her any less, of course.
Vala sits, though she's clinging to the dishes like a life preserver. "Can you put those down?" No more demanding needed on that one. As she sits back up after depositing her dish tower on the table, I tuck some lose strands of hair behind her ear.
"Now talk to me."
She doesn't look at me when she does. "There's nothing to talk about."
Oh great – she wants to be difficult. I sure have a way of picking them, don't I? "The hell there isn't. You've been avoiding me all day."
That gets her attention. She looks at me like I've hit her. Can't say I prefer it. "I have not! I have helped you when you needed it and have taken care of you, just like I've done every day since you've been home."
"Taken care of me, yes." I say. "Talked to me…" I reach out and tilt her chin up so she's looking at me. "No."
Some of the disbelief leaves her eyes, shadowed by an honest look. Now there's something I do prefer. "I'm scared of what I'll say if I do." She admits, and I guess she knows I'm about to ask why because she continues on. "Because you're sick and I don't want to upset you."
I roll my eyes. There she goes, thinking I'm still too fragile to handle things again. "I'm recovering, not sick." I look back at her. "I can take whatever you have to say. I'd prefer you tell me rather than not speak to me at all."
Vala keeps her mouth shut now, shaking her head. Again, her eyes won't meet mine. I close my eyes and take a much needed, if painful, deep breath. "Is this about last night?" I ask while letting the air out and opening my eyes again.
She nods, and then I do as well. And against my better judgment, I push myself up into a sitting position. Hurts like hell, and Vala can tell because she's glaring at me in that 'what the hell are you doing' way.
I'm sure I look like I'm in a lot of pain, which I am, as I say, "I don't regret last night."
"I can't believe that." Vala says back on a whisper. It's almost like I can hear her heart breaking along with it.
Yeah, that's stopping immediately. "Fine." I lean in so our lips are mere inches from touching. "Maybe you can trust this, then." Then I'm kissing her again, just like the night before. Except this time there's no drug-induced glee. No, this time the glee is all natural.
She's pulling away much sooner than I had wanted. "I think the pain is making you delusional." There's a hint of humor in her voice.
"I think you need to shut up and kiss me." I say before leaning back in for more. There's no pulling away this time. I like it. Vala really gets into it and I try my best. But this whole pain thing is a bit of a mood-killer.
"Son of bitch…" Oops, hadn't meant to wheeze that out loud. Doesn't matter now. Vala's obviously aware I'm hurting, really hurting, because she starts to gently push me back down to a laying position.
Her eyes are regretful as they look into mine. "You need to rest." She gently brushes her hand through my hair and god even that hurts. Vala sighs because I can't seem to hide my pain anymore and moves to get up. I latch onto her hand before she can fill it full of dishes.
I give her the sincerest look I can manage. "I need you." Damn the reflex to say nothing. She needs to know I meant it all, pain or not.
At least she smiles down at me. "You need your meds."
"No." I grimace and then frown. "Well, yes…but that's not the point now." I squeeze her hand. "All I could think of when I got zapped by that thing was how I'd be leaving you behind. It hurt more than the pain to know I'd be dying without you because I need you. I'll need you until my last dying breath, whenever that is. Do you understand that?"
Vala remains silent, just staring at me. I can't decide if she thinks I'm crazy or if she believes me. Not really good on top of the pain. I'm getting aggravated again.
"Dammit, Vala, do you understand?" I snap at her.
She doesn't even flinch. "I understand." Her eyes get that placating look. "Now will you let go of my hand so I can get you some medication? Or do you want to continue to suffer? Not that I don't appreciate your romance…"
I groan and drop her hand, burying my face in my arm. She gets it. The teasing is back, so she's gotta get it. Great, confessed myself and now I'll never hear the end of it. I don't even know if she really appreciates what I've just-
I flinch at her voice so close to my ear. "Thank you." It's the honest to god sincerest voice I have ever heard her use. I turn my head to look at Vala, to find her smiling softly at me.
"It's nice to know someone needs me." She says before leaning in to give me the softest kiss imaginable. Damn, I've been a goner since these lips first touched mine. Needed? Hell, Vala's wanted, needed, loved, and so many other words that fail me in this instance.
That whole glee feeling? Yeah, that's back again.
I talk about her; I go on and on and on
"Why are we up at this ungodly hour?!" Daniel moaned from the crook of his elbow, where his face was burrowed thoroughly. Didn't vacation mean one got to sleep in all day if they wanted…or needed.
The other three sitting at the table with him shared knowing glances before returning to perusing their individual menus.
"It's almost two in the afternoon, Jackson." Mitchell said with feigned ignorance. He assumed it was a withering glance Daniel looked up to give him, but it was difficult to tell behind the dark sunglass and pulled down baseball hat.
"Yes – two in the afternoon brings sun and birds and screaming children." Daniel muttered. He wanted to glance around to emphasize his point, but that would only make the situation worse. "All extremely ungodly." He mumbled, dropping his head back to the darkness of his arm.
Jack shot a grin towards Mitchell before looking at their grouchy friend. "Now Daniel…" All he got in response was a grunt. "Why don't you stop whining and try and decide what to eat?"
A moan followed, and Jack and Cam had to fight the urge to laugh. It was obvious Daniel knew they were messing with him. "Food is evil." He added for good measure.
"Should you not decide on something just in case Vala Mal Doran would like to eat it?" Teal'c decided it was his turn to add his thoughts.
Daniel's head came up again, this time to glare at his Jaffa friend. "Traitor." He looked at all of his supposed friends. They were all trying to fight their grins at the mentioning of Vala. He felt his stomach flip. "You all suck."
He wanted to just crawl in a hole and die. It'd be a welcome alternative to having to remember the previous night's events. Well, half remember. The others had so happily filled in the holes left by…way too much tequila. Daniel only remembered bits and pieces of what he'd actually been rambling on about, but he sure as hell remembered who it was about.
Didn't remember those friends of his calling up said person and letting her listen to his drunken praises. Apparently after an uncertain number of shots, the only topic he could carry on about coherently had been her.
"Morning, guys." Sam's loud and cheery voice broke Daniel from his horrendous reliving. Perfect time for them to arrive for lunch. What better way to make his life worse than to have Vala show up and use the previous night's events to her advantage. If he wasn't almost dying, and fearing he was going to throw up some more, he'd so kick the asses of all who'd gotten him into this mess.
"Have a fun time last night?" Sam questioned, taking the seat next to Daniel. He resisted the urge to reach out and smack her leg…hard. Did they all have to tease him? Wasn't what Vala was gonna dish out bad enough? "I hear you drank some tequila…"
Daniel shot out of his seat, nearly knocking over his chair. "'Scuse me." He didn't wait for their reactions. He couldn't handle their joking…couldn't sit and wait to hear her remarks. They were all going to use it against him, and the thought made him nauseous.
Of course rushing away from them in a hurry didn't help with the nausea one bit, and Daniel quickly found himself sitting on the stairs that led to the hotel pool. He rested his elbows on his knees, placing his hands on the back of his head.
So focused on breathing and not puking, Daniel didn't bother to greet the person who came to sit on the steps beside him.
"Oh darling…" Vala sighed with sympathy. She combed her fingers through the hair coming out from the bottom of his hat at the back of his neck. "What have you done to yourself?"
Daniel leaned into the wall at his left, more so to quell the spinning than get away from her touch. "Made an ass of myself."
He could practically feel the little grin she directed his way. "I didn't think it was that bad."
"Yeah, well…" Daniel dropped one of his hands and turned his head to glance at her through his sunglasses. "You were the one receiving all the…stupid drunken praises."
Vala tilted her head and gave him a curious look. "Did you not mean any of it?"
"Yes…no…" He frowned and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm too hung-over to make sense of that question." Daniel squeezed his eyes shut harder as he felt Vala pulling off his sunglasses. He jerked and moaned as she ambled her way over him, plopping down on the step between his legs.
"But you're awfully adorable…" She whispered and he opened his eyes a fraction to find her face mere inches from his. The little grin was back as she leaned up and took his lips in a small, tender kiss.
"I should tell them to get you to drink tequila more often." Vala added, her voice smug and victorious, as she pulled away.
Daniel opened his eyes slowly, glaring down at her. "You set me up."
She wiggled in place, grinning broadly this time. "How else was I supposed to get you to say all those things?"
Groaning, Daniel pulled his hat down over his eyes and flopped into the wall. "You're unbelievable." He muttered, tilting the hat back up to see her turn and lean her back into his chest.
"But that's why you love me." Vala said knowingly, putting his sunglasses on for effect.
Daniel snaked his arms around her waist and dropped his head to her shoulder. "That was just the alcohol talking." He quipped and received a smack to the leg for it. "Keep that up and I'll throw up on you."
She snorted. "Now that's love." Daniel made a sound of agreement, burying his face into her neck. Vala reached up behind her and went back to combing her fingers through his hair.
After a few moments of comfortable silence, Vala added. "Now when do we tell all of them that we've actually been together for some time now?"
Laughing slightly, Daniel didn't even bother to pull away when he answered. "After last night, those bastards can wait a little while longer."
Adding a laugh of her own, Vala patted the back of Daniel's neck. "And you call me unbelievable."
Cause she's everything to me.
The first thing they took was his freedom – to move, to speak, to think. All of it stripped away the moment the machine was attached to the back of his neck.
Relief was quick to follow in the things he could no longer have. The device induced a white hot pain the instant it connected to him. It didn't recede, but spread out over his spine and along his limbs. They refused to ease his suffering, preventing him from even dropping into unconsciousness when the pain seemed too much.
Choices? He had none. All he could do was remain strapped in that chair, connected to their central core and feeding them everything they possibly wanted from him.
Memories were all he had. But that's what they wanted. His memories, they said over and over, would lead into the deeper recesses. Help them access the knowledge that he'd never been able to reach himself. Their system was far more advanced than his pathetic human brain. That's how it was able to keep him alive without him doing a thing…
…Except suffer and remember.
At first, he'd struggled. Fought them with every passing moment. Given them his memories, his knowledge, in a jumbled mess of riddles and foreign tongues. But soon they overcame his defenses, using his own memories against him to figure out the answers. Each time he tried to fight, the pain increased and they became faster at cracking his puzzles.
He gave up eventually, letting them take what they wanted. But it didn't stop the pain. There seemed to be no end to the torture of suffering and helplessness. He wanted to scream out, but the metallic leads squeezed tight around his throat prevented it. All hope of rescue was lost – his team would never come for him. They wouldn't know where to look.
He didn't know how long he sat and watched the walls flickering with his memories. Soon it became a churning sea-like haze. They kept going over and over his mind, searching for the right leads to that knowledge. He had no control over what they conjured from one moment to the next. He was just along for the excruciating ride.
Then it happened. He wasn't sure why only then had he been drawn to it. But something about the memory had caught his eye and he searched it out specifically.
Strolling into the briefing room, his gaze immediately fell on the leather-clad woman who began to advance his way.
For a moment, the pain seemed to dim at remembering such an event. They quickly stopped it, pulling him off to another – one where she wasn't present.
But soon he latched onto another of her.
Surprise and confusion raced through him as the metallic bracelet slapped onto his wrist.
He could feel the surprise as if he was in the moment once more. Yet instead of the sudden annoyance that had originally followed, relief took over for she seemed to ease his pain every time a memory of her surfaced.
Again they ripped him away, and even through the haze of the returned agony he was able to understand.
He started to find her in his memories, searching out the ones where she was the most prominent. They easily yanked him away at first, but soon he was conjuring more than they were.
"No…" One of them hissed. "You must stop this. He is taking us down the wrong path."
The other seemed frantic. "I'm trying!" He could hear it tapping wildly at keys, trying to take his mind away from him again. "He is regaining control through remembrances of the dark haired one!"
"Impossible!" The first shouted, shoving aside the one at the control panel. "No one has ever overcome the central core. The device restricts all conflicting functions. No memory is strong enough to give back control."
Memories of her came faster, and he watched them become more agitated as soon it seemed only she had filled his mind. Each one he jumped to, or returned to, brought a wave of peace and relief over him. He wasn't so much gaining control as they thought. That was impossible when he was still connected to the core. But he was erasing everything from their reach.
The wall before him filled with her image – little movies on a continuous loop of all they had experienced together. A mix of good and bad, but he couldn't care less. Everything about her burned in his mind was helping. How hard she hit, and how fiercely she kissed. The way she flirted and the way she annoyed. Her eyes, her hair, her voice…
One of them stalked over to him and took his face in a death grip, wrenching at the rod buried into his neck. The white hot tendrils of metal spidered into his spine and brain pulled hard but didn't dislodge.
"Stop this immediately!" It yelled at him, desperation in its eyes. Pain beyond anything he had imagined blazed through him, and he felt his face tighten up under the added strain. It was all he could do to keep her image at the forefront of his mind. He frantically searched for one of his strongest memories…
"You're killing an innocent person!"
Blue eyes, flooded with pain-filled tears, glared defiantly into alien yellow.
"Stop this!" It shrieked again, digging its ragged nails into his face.
"You made the decision to stop running. It's over now. Now it's time to come home."
Commotion outside drew their attention from him. As the one gripping his face let go and they made for the doorway, he receded back…
"Daniel…" She sort of laughed out, forcing a smile that didn't last long.
Home, he'd told her. She'd remembered and so had he. He wanted home. The tears returned as his memories turned to his most cherished of her. The commotion from outside burst into the room and he swept his eyes from the wall covered in her little movies to familiar figures barreling in, guns blazing.
He watched as his team easily disposed of those who had done this to him. But he couldn't move, couldn't call out to them. His thoughts slipped away from her and the pain returned. He was still attached to the core – they might've been dead, but the core still lived on.
He pulled memories of her back, flashing them on the wall frantically. If he could've sobbed, he would have as he watched her slowly come through the doorway. She looked ragged and drained, a trail of blood coming around from the back of her neck. She immediately made for him.
She carefully climbed onto the chair he occupied, taking his face in her hands.
"I heard you, Daniel." Vala rasped to him and his eyes flicked for an instant to the angry red scrapes against her neck. "I heard you." She repeated with pride, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Well, this is it folks. This fic is FINALLY finished! -phew- I have considered doing a one-shot that follows that last little bit there b/c I feel there should be more to it (but it was long enough as is). I can't tell you when I'll get to that one since I'm busy working on another LONG fic right now (one I think you guys will love), but it should come along eventually. I hope you've enjoyed 'She's Everything'. Reviews, as always, are definitely appreciated.