The Mystical Land of Cake and...Carrots ?

Uh...I made Usagi-chan stupider than she usually is, but I make almost every character that I write about stupid, so...she's not alone. :D

I don't own Sailor Moon. Nope. Never will, either.


" Oh, my dream has finally come true ! Cake and cookies and shojo manga as far as the eye could see ! "

Usagi squealed in delight as she jumped headfirst into a box of chocolate chip cookies. " Oh, and look ! Bunnies ! "

White bunnies hopped along the side of the hill. The blonde-haired teenager giggled as she stuffed about five cookies into her face. " Yum ! No parents, no teachers, no Chibiusa hanging on to my skirt asking for sugar and candy. SQUEEEE ! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LI- "

The girl tripped over something and immediately started to tumble down the hill. " Oh, and I just ironed this skirt ! " she cried.

Pa-dump, pa-dump, pa-dump, pa-dump, pa-dump, pa-

CRASH !

No longer was the scene sunny. Dark skies replaced the clear azure ones. Thunder crackled from a far distance. Usagi landed into a weird-looking liquid. A small creek with orange liquid.

" Wait a minute...a small creek with orange liquid ?! Ohmygosh ! What is this horrible stuff ?! " Usagi demanded.

A sinister chuckle was heard and three triangular-shaped creatures appeared before the senshi's eyes. The first one who made the chuckle grinned. " We're the Carrot Culprits, and we've come for you, Usagi Tsukino ! "

" Yeh, we've come for you, Tsukino ! " the other two carrots chimed in.

Usagi gasped. " Noooooo ! I hate carrots ! "

" Uh, that's the point, " Carrot Number One muttered.

" What's the point ? "

The leader carrot sweatdropped. " You have got to be kidding me. The point is that we, your most hated vegetables, have taken you, the ditzy Japanese girl, into custody ! "

" Oh. Sorry. Sometimes I'm a bit slow. "

" Yeah...I figured that..."

" Anyway, what do you nasty thingies want with me ?! "

Carrot Number One's grin turned broader. " We know all about your true identity, Sailor Moon ! "

" Holy crap ! How do you know about that ?! "

" Uh, we read your diary. "

" Yeh, it was fun, " Carrot Number Two added.

" And girlie ! " Carrot Number Three chimed in.

" -gasp- How could you do that ?! A diary is a girl's most sacred possession. That and her most frilly bra. "

" Yeah, how could we ?! " Carrot Number Two moaned.

" We're monsters ! " Carrot Number Three cried.

" Gotdamn it, you goons, let me finish ! " the leader snapped. " Tsukino, it is time for the main event ! Do you like cake ? "

Usagi nodded. " Oh, I love cake ! "

" Then you wouldn't mind some...carrot cake. "

A flash of light sparkled before revealing a giant piece of carrot cake that was larger than Usagi herself. The teenage girl gasped. " N-n-NOOOOO ! I WON'T EAT IT ! "

The girl started to swim away from the carrot products, but the cake seemed to follow her. Usagi, being the general crybaby she was, started to cry. " Mamoru-kuuuuun ! Save meeeee ! "

The cake made a low rumbling noise. " That mask-loving, cape-wearing, ultrasissy superhero dude won't save you now ! I'm having my dinna tonight ! "

" NOOOOOOOOO ! "

-chomp-


(One day later...)

Rei yawned as she stretched out. " I haven't seen Usagi-chan in a day. I wonder where she went..."

" Uh, I think she got eaten by a colossal piece of cake, " Mamoru muttered.

" Really ? How did you figure that out ? " Minako asked.

Mamoru sweatdropped. " You know, I have no idea..."


(Meanwhile...)

" Mamoru, you bastard. "

Usagi groaned as she kicked against the basement wall. " I really need to stop eating chocolates before I go to bed with Mamoru, or he will keep not saving me in my nightmares. "

She looked at the basement door that was locked and sweatdropped. " Now I need to find a way out of here, or my skirt will be stained with yellow liquid..."

End