The Mario Circuit Foot Dash

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Well, my last fanfic before the summer ends and gives way to the worst season of all... autumn. (cue boos) Yes, unfortunately, the suckiest time of the year has come, but don't worry! Eventually, like good things, even bad things eventually have to end at some point. And thus, I will be awaiting for December during this last summer day of the hot September, and thus, enjoy this rigorous Mario on-shot featuring the red-capped plumber himself and his two rivals/friends, Donkey Kong and Wario!

PS: Oh, and for the sake of everyone and everything, Yankee Stadium, ye shall be missed greatly. R.I.P. 1923 - 2008. And now, ladies and gentlemen, enough of my yammering. Read and enjoy the fanfic!

Disclaimer: Mario, Wario, and Donkey Kong belong to Nintendo.


Mario was relaxing on his private hammock outside of his house, sleeping as usual, you see. He was dreaming of running around mountains and mountains of cherry, strawberry, banana cream, and all different, sweet, sugary kinds of cakes. As the red-capped Italian plumber smacked his lips to the thought of such, Donkey Kong and Wario both came over via the green warp pipe nearby, both approaching Mario and pounding him in the stomach to wake him up.

"Ouch-a! Mamma mia..." Mario moaned as he held his stomach, looking up to see Donkey Kong and Wario. He then started growling, angrily asking, "What the hell are you two goofballs doing-a here!?"

Donkey Kong (screw it, from this point on, he'll just be DK) grinned, patting Mario on the right shoulder. "Oh, me and Wario were just wondering if you want to..."

Mario suspiciously eyed DK. "Want to what? Go into Princess Peach's room and steal her panties again? Make Luigi scream like a girl? Put makeup all over Toad's p-"

"NO, STUPID," Wario stated as he punched Mario in the gut, stating, "We want-a to race-a you all over the nearby Mario Circuit!"

Mario scoffed, shaking his head as he began to laugh. "Oh-a please! That will be easy-"

"On. Foot." Wario slyly added, massaging his mustache as he chuckled sinisterly. "Think-a you will be able to keep-a up?"

Mario rolled his eyes. "I'll still be able to take-a you on," He stated as he headed for the warp pipe, with DK and Wario coming from behind.

DK only grinned. "Don't take things to simple, Mario. Me and Wario have certain speed under our belt." He ensured Mario, who did not care apparently as he jumped down the warp pipe.


Later, the three male competitors were at the starting line of the Mario Circuit, on top of the hill that faced Princess Peach Toadstool's Castle. A majority of the mushroom citizens, as well as the usual Mario enemies, all gathered to watch the race, cheering on for either Mario, DK, or Wario. The three got ready, and Lakitu signaled the start, the three darting forward as they headed downhill the cement paved road, heading towards the red-and-white colored castle. As Mario dashes forward, Wario started picking out his overall pockets and pulled out a silver magnet, using it to pull Mario back. DK saw this and dashed ahead, jabbering in ape language as he made a turn around the right bank. Chuckling, Wario used his magnet to chuck Mario in the air, dashing right after DK around the right bend.

Mario landed back on the ground, and he growled, running right after the two in an attempt to regain his lead. As he ran, he noticed several speed boosters, and ran on them, gaining an extra boost of speed, using it to his advantage as he planned on getting back at Wario and DK. DK took out several yellow bananas and munched down on them, tossing the peels behind. Wario screamed with rage as he slipped on each peel, going from one to another as Mario came by and jumped over the hardzardous fruit. DK chucked his last banana peel, and as he was about to make another turn around the right bank, a pair of red-spotted Piranha Plants emerged from greenish warp pipes and started firing red hot fireballs at the tie-wearing gorilla. DK screamed as he started running around in circles, screaming in pain as the flames spread about on his thick fur, while Mario passed with ease, chuckling to himself.

As Mario approaches the nearby tunnel within the green, grassy hill, a chained Chain Chomp awaits the red capped plumber. Mario, however, sees this, and he stops right before the monstrous creature could take a bite out of him. Wario passes by, but he is mauled by the Chain Chomp, recklessly chomping. As Wario curses in pain, Mario sneaks past the evil doppelganger, chuckling to himself with glee as he turned around the right bend and started running. DK also ran by, only to be pulled back by Wario's magnet, thus, getting munched on as well by the Chain Chomp. DK growls as he sets himself free from the Chain Chomp's powerful jaws, and he pounds Wario on the head as he rushed off into the tunnel. Wario growls furiously as he is still stuck inside the Chain Chomp's powerful jaws.

Turning to the left and heading uphill, Mario jumps on the wandering Goombas that populated the cement-paved road. Stomping on each of them in a coordinating fashion, Mario jumps back on the pavement and turns to the left, heading towards the home stretch. However, little does the plumber expect that he gets hit by a green ricocheting Koopa shell, and is knocked down on the ground. DK, who fired off the shell, laughs as he runs past Mario, and makes it through the finish line. Mario drops his jaw in disbelief as he gets back up, but is then flattened by Wario, who runs as fast as he can from the furious Chain Chomp. Wario manages to make it passed the finish line, and although he feels like a moron for being bashed by DK, he is too worried about the Chain Chomp to respond. Donkey Kong can be seen holding his gold trophy with glee, though he starts running for his life as Wario comes towards him, with the angry Chain Chomp behind.

Back on the top of the grassy hill, several feet before the finish line, a flattened Mario moans as he is barely able to make it up on his own. He sighs as he waits for someone to get him back into shape.

THE END