Author's Note: This is my first time writing a fan fiction so I hope you all like it. Before read you the story though I would like to add that I have nothing against Reneesme or Edward and Bella. In fact I love the way Stephanie Meyer ended Breaking Dawn. This story just sort of popped in my head one day and I couldn't stop thinking about it. At this point I don't even know how the story is going to end so I guess we will both find out. Enjoy….
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following characters in my story. As you could probably tell I'm not Stephanie Meyer.
1. Being Broken
I knew that Bella always belonged to Edward even when I still fought so hard to keep her. I kept trying to tell myself that there was hope and that she really did love me. The second part was true. But even without consciously thinking that the first was not really true I knew somewhere in my subconscious that Bella never belonged to me. Nor would she ever belong to me.
As I realized this a howl ripped from my chest and I knew that my bothers (well sort of my brothers) could hear me. I knew they wouldn't bother to phase knowing that I howled for only one reason. It was because I was broken. They would never understand how much Bella meant to me, and still does. Even if they can hear my thoughts they can never fully understand. They keep telling me that I need to move on but I can't even if I wanted to. Which scares me because I don't want to move on without Bella. Maybe I never will.
It has been a month since Bella married Edward. She'd told me the day of her wedding that after everyone left that no one could see her again. At least not for a while anyways. I knew what that meant and a wave of anger rolled down my spine. "Calm down Jake, I can't hurt her" I told myself reassuringly. No matter how much I despised Edward for taking her away from me I couldn't hurt him. It would kill her and I even knew that I couldn't fix her no matter how hard I tried. It was a simple fact, Bella just loved him more and there was nothing I could do or say to change her mind. Believe me I tried.
I tried to push the thought away but only to have a new and more depressing thought occurr. What's going to happen to me? I slowed down to a stop as I reached the beach. I knew better than to be in such a noticeable location seeing as how I was a gigantic wolf standing in the middle of the beach at night but I couldn't make myself leave. What was going to happen to me? The question repeated in my mind.
I lay down on my stomach weighing the possibilities, which I realized, wasn't in my favor. Maybe nothing was going to happen to me. Maybe I wouldn't change. Maybe I would simply be forever broken.
The fact was obviously simple but did far more damage than words could ever describe. I was in love with a hopeless cause and couldn't find my way around it. It was like trying to breathe without any lungs, simply impossible.
"What's impossible?" Seth asked innocently.
I guess I was wrong about my brothers not phasing.
"Don't forget about Leah to. You know how much she hates it when we refer to her as a brother. Which I could sort of see her point."
I could see the image of Leah's angry face through Seth's mind and I saw him shudder.
"Anyway, why would I not phase, I heard you howling from my room. I thought you needed help." He replied innocently once again.
I saw an image of Bella smiling up at me then quickly locked away the thought even though I knew it was to late.
"Oh, sorry Jake I didn't realize…I guess I'm a little slow in that department."
I looked at his apologetic face and smiled. Seth was like a little brother, except he wasn't a brat.
"S'okay. Count your blessings that you're still slow in that department." I emphasized the truth behind the words.
"I've always been able to see what you are going through but I don't really understand it." He spoke mostly to himself.
"Don't worry, when you fall in love you'll know exactly what it is." I could see horror go through his mind mixed with a little bit of disgust. I smiled to myself as I took in his reaction. He really was just like a younger brother.
"Minus the bratty stuff though right?" He asked hopefully.
"Believe me Paul is a big enough brat to make up for everyone else." I reassured him.
"I betcha Leah would disagree." He laughed. He remembered all the times he played jokes on her and the outcomes of those jokes when she finally realized what was going on. Seth shuddered again. I laughed as I saw her call him everything from a dork to a pain in the butt.
"Yeah, but Leah would also fit safely under the category of a brat, so I wouldn't worry 'bout it to much." I said as I looked up at the stars. I heard Seth's thoughts as he remembered something Sam told him to remind me.
"Oh yeah Jake, I almost forgot. Sam told me to tell you that someone was coming over from the other reservation. He wanted you to know just in case you accidentally showed up at Emily's looking like a wolf. He didn't want to freak her out since he figured that she would be staying for a while."
I looked at him with curiosity. Who was he talking about? Seth answered before I even asked the question.
"I don't know. Only that she is coming from the other rez. Emily knows her though so I guess maybe they're related. Who knows? Sam told me her name but I forgot." He looked up at the sky.
I saw him trying to remember what Sam had told him but he couldn't trigger it.
"Oh well, guess we'll find out tomorrow." He said with a smile.
He looked at me and started to wonder whether he should wait with me until I leaved or go away to give me some privacy. I decided that I had thought too much already for one day and that I should call it a night.
"Race ya?" Seth asked eagerly.
"On your mark…" I said answering his question.
"Let's go!" he yelled in his thoughts.
Then all of a sudden we were running as fast as lightening down the beach. Once again, Sam wouldn't like this. As if anyone could even get a glimpse at us as we ran. I barely beat him to my house that we reached in less than thirty seconds. I was a lot stronger than Seth but he was becoming faster than me everyday. Even for such a young werewolf, he was skilled.
"Thanks." Seth said smiling at my approval.
"I wouldn't let it get to my head though, Collin is pretty fast and he is getting better everyday as well." I warned.
"Ah, I could beat Collin any day." He answered smug.
"See ya Seth."
"Oh yeah I almost forgot again." He hurried his words before he forgot them.
"Sam told me to tell you to drop what your doing tomorrow evening. He wants us all to give that one girl a warm welcome. I bet Emily is planning to throw a party for her. Sam said she's been through a lot but wouldn't go into further details. I wonder what it is."
He thought of different scenarios of what could have happened to the girl but then was suddenly conscious that I could still hear him. He cleared his thoughts and asked me a question,
"So will you be there. Sam wants to know so she can tell the girl what to expect. He thinks it is important to make sure she feels welcome." He said as his mind wandered again.
"Sure, sure I'll be there."
"Okay, I'll tell Sam. See ya Jake."
I phased back and pulled my jogging pants back on. I walked quickly through the door and quietly walked to my room. Billy was asleep; I could hear him snoring from his room. I glanced at the clock setting next to my bed on the floor. 3:00 a.m. Not a surprise for me to get home this late but compared to all the other times it was still pretty early to me. At least I could get some sleep for tomorrow.
"Great a party." I mumbled to myself.
Like I was up for celebrating anything right now. Oh well at least there might be food involved. I hate special occasions especially since there wasn't anything so special about it. Why would tomorrow's "special" occasion be any different from the rest of them?
Authors Note: I know, this chapter was a bit of a bore but I had to find some way to set up the good stuff. I promise I'll do better. If you don't like something I'm doing feel free to criticize. Believe me you wont hurt my feelings I get it all the time. Also if you liked what I'm doing so far feel absolutely free to compliment. I like those better anyways. Lol. If I get some reviews though it will help out a lot and you never know, you may inspire me.