I've corrected all the mistakes, thanks to my irritating little sister. I REALLY have to proof read more. Haha
I don't own Magical Lyrical Girl Nanoha, but if I did… never mind, I'll just end up rambling. The story is set after the A's series but before Strikers. This is my first ever fic, so please review. And please, please be gentle... I'm still new to this :3
Warning: this has a shoujo-ai theme to it… FatexNanoha… It's an AU fic
We Can't Be Friends
It was never supposed to be like this.
I was never supposed to fall in love with Nanoha.
Was I really that... desperate? Hah... to fall for my best friend. And what's more, Nanoha's a girl… I'm a girl!
I could have fallen for someone else; someone of the opposite sex. A man. But no… it had to be Nanoha; the loving, caring, selfless and beautiful Nanoha. The Nanoha that had eyes shining like sapphire gems. The same eyes that would flicker when they look into my plain red ones. The Nanoha who had that stunning smile; the smile she'd show only to the ones she loved the most.
We've been best friends for eight years now, so I knew I was one of those people. But to what extent of love did she have for me?
What a stupid question.
I was aware that the love she had for me was totally different from the love I had for her. Nanoha loved me but I was in love with her… hopelessly, madly, irrevocable in love with her. So accepting the fact that both our loves could never ever be the same never failed to add more creases to my already breaking heart.
Breaking, not broken... yet.
Did I forget to mention she was dating that ferret boy, Yuuno-kun? She was so ecstatic the day he asked her out. Naturally, I was the first one she told. I faked a congratulatory greeting for her and told her I had to go buy food for Arf and left her room.
What a lame excuse.
When my house came in to view, tears started to freely fall from my eyes. I couldn't stop them. So I ran, not to my house, but straight to the pier; the same pier where we said our goodbyes eight years ago. I leaned unto the railings. I was positive the tears had stopped falling. Maybe I had run out of tears.
Was that possible?
I knew Nanoha liked him. She'd liked him for a pretty long time I guess, and my feelings would only be a bother. They should be spending time with each other the most. I'd only be in the way.
That's when I surrendered my most precious person to that… ferret boy. I gave Nanoha to him; without a fight, without telling her how I felt. I just gave her up because I knew I wouldn't be able to restrain myself if his name was to cross her lips. Even more, if she'd tell me everything she felt about him.
I couldn't take that. I had to stay away.
I decided that that would be for the best.
But the best for whom? As long as these feelings would stay hidden, I didn't care about the consequences. I had avoid her, for fear that... that I'd blurt out everything. And if that were to happen, Nanoha would… she would…
I didn't even want to think about what she would do to me.
I really didn't care if she'd get mad at me for staying away. Having Nanoha mad at me would be easier than having her completely ignore me for having these dirty feelings. I didn't know what I'd do if that were to happen. So for now…
Nanoha and Yuuno had been together for three months. Their relationship was… perfect. Yuuno was understanding, funny and patient. And Nanoha… was Nanoha. They both loved each other very much. Their families supported them. Their friends were there for them, all except for one.
Even before they had officially started dating, Fate started becoming very busy. She took a job at the local café, became the class representative and joined the track team. Everyone understood that Fate wanted to do her best. Everyone thought it was normal, but Nanoha knew something was wrong. She tried to talk to Fate but she never got the chance. She either had practice, class duties or she was working late.
Nanoha tried messaging her, even calling to check on her every now and then. But she'd only get a "Thank you. I'm fine, just a little busy." from Fate. At school, Fate would seem so distant during class, like her mind was somewhere else. But Fate was Fate, so she still got high marks. Unfortunately for Nanoha, her constant observing and worrying about Fate made it difficult to pay attention in class. And everyone noticed that Nanoha started acting different, especially Yuuno.
After several weeks of watching Nanoha—and realizing that she was only getting worse—Yuuno decided to do something about it.
"Nanoha," he called.
The brunette slowly turned to face her boyfriend and immediately noticed the anxiety on his face. "What is it Yuuno-kun?" she asked, worried.
"What's going on? You've been acting different lately," he replied without hesitation.
Nanoha's eyes widened in shock. Was she really that obvious? How long had he noticed? She calmed herself.
"Nothing?" he said almost angrily. "Spacing out in class, forgetting your responsibilities and ignoring your friends… ignoring me! That's not 'nothing' Nanoha. I know you more than anyone does."
That did it.
All the pent up feelings Nanoha held inside gushed out like a broken dam.
"No you don't!" she screamed. "You're not my best friend! You're not the one I used to share my secrets with! You're not the one who I used to lean on for support! You're not the one I had sleepovers with! You're not the one I used to spend every moment with! You're… you're…" she paused, trying to gather every ounce of courage she had. "You're. Not. Fate-chan!" she screamed. At that moment, tears fell from her eyes like Twin Rivers, staining her cheeks.
Yuuno almost stumbled when she bellowed the last three words. He felt something grasp at his chest.
So that was it. That's why she was acting so strangely. How could he be so blind? For someone who had straight A's in class he was pretty stupid not to have realized it sooner. All the pieces fit. It all made sense.
"So, why did you say yes?" He said in a hushed voice, head tilted down.
Nanoha did not answer. She looked confused.
"Why did you go out with me?"
"What are you talking about?" Her voice calmed a bit but still carried a little hostility.
Yuuno lifted his head and looked at her. "Why did you go out with me knowing that you had already fallen for someone else? For…" his voice faltered. He couldn't say it. But he didn't have to continue for Nanoha to understand.
A smile tugged at her lips. "You're right, Yuuno-kun. But I didn't realize it until now." The last of her tears fell from her azure eyes.
He looked at his feet once more, clenching his fists so hard his knuckles turned white. Still, he always knew he'd never win against her. So having Nanoha agree to go out with him, made him think he had won.
"What?" Nanoha asked.
"Go, before I change my mind."
She ran off. But after a few steps she turned to him once more. "Thank you Yuuno-kun. I really did like you, you know." With that, her retreating back grew farther from him, farther from his grasp. But he knew when to surrender… when to admit defeat.
When to let go.
"I know Nanoha. I just hope you're going to be happy from now on."
"I'm going home now. See you on Monday Testarossa-san!"
"See you too, Tachibana-san."
Fate was the only one of the track team left. Today, it was her turn to arrange the gear before leaving.
Having done her work and taken a bath, she changed to her casual clothes. She sat on one of the locker room benches, sighing deeply. "What a day!"
"Fate-chan." a voice said from behind the bench.
She knew that voice. It seemed like ages since she last heard her name called so... intimately. But she knew she shouldn't. She had to go… now, before the one thing she tried to avoid would happen.
She stood up, not saying a word, and walked to the door.
"Fate-chan!" A hand held her wrist just as she was about to open the locker door. "Why are you avoiding me?"
Fate didn't answer.
Nanoha tried to make Fate look at her, but she averted Nanoha's eyes. "Will you look at me, Fate-chan?"
Fate closed her eyes as tight as she could and took a deep breath. With all the willpower she had, she looked at Nanoha.
Two pairs of knees almost buckled as burgundy met sapphire.
It felt like an eternity since Fate last saw those beautiful blue eyes. But now those eyes were filled with pain, anger and… wait, love?
No, that couldn't happen. Nanoha wasn't perverse like her. Nanoha was pure, innocent and unlike her… straight. She shook the idea out of her head and tried to look at Nanoha.
She still couldn't.
Nanoha slowly began sobbing as she held unto the sleeves of Fate's shirt. "What did I do to make you hate me so much Fate-chan?"
Nanoha was crying… because of her. How could she make Nanoha cry? Fate's defenses came crashing down.
She had to stay strong. For Nanoha, she needed to be strong.
"What did I do Fate-chan, huh?"
"You've…you've done nothing. It's me, I've just been… busy. I… I'm sorry if I made you feel neglected," Fate stated, dryly.
"You're lying, Fate-chan." Nanoha looked up at her.
"W-what?" She managed to say. Fate finally looked at Nanoha, a little surprised. But she remembered. Nanoha knew her more than anyone else, even more than Arf did. Nanoha knew who she was and how she felt. She just knew.
"You've been avoiding me on purpose. You're not answering my calls anymore. And you only message me late in the night when I'm asleep because then I wouldn't be able to reply." Sniffing, she continued, "Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"
Fate couldn't take it anymore. Nanoha shouldn't be depressed because of her. She didn't have the right to make the brunette cry. Fate needed to explain herself. Nanoha deserved that much.
"I-I…I just can't be by your side anymore… now that you have Yuuno. He's your boyfriend. He should be the one to comfort you, make you laugh, complete your day and be there for you, not me. I'm just your best friend, not your lover. He can make you happier than I ever could. He loves you. And I know you feel the same way." She had to say those last four words. Though it burned her tongue, she needed to… just to stop the girl she loved most from crying.
"But I don't want that! I'd choose you over Yuuno-kun even if it would mean making him hate me. Even if it would make everyone hate me!" She gripped at Fate's sleeves, painfully. "I'd rather him hate me than you… I just can't… I can't Fate-chan… I c-can't… n-not you…" she bowed her head as tears landed on Fate's shoes.
Nanoha looked back at Fate as she heard her name. "You've finally said it."
She saw a smile creep into Nanoha's red lips.
"B-but that's what f-friends do, right?" 'Friends'… the word stung like venom.
"But I don't want to be friends with Fate-chan." Nanoha almost spat the words out.
Fate's world turned to a halt. Her heart dropped to her stomach.
Nanoha didn't want to be friends with her anymore. She wanted to break their bond, their friendship; the one thing Fate treasured the most. Because of her dirty feelings and inconsiderate wishes, Nanoha didn't want to be her friend anymore.
What had she done?
"B-but…" A pale and slender finger was placed across her lips, stopping her.
The contact between that warm appendage and her trembling lips send spasms down her spine. It was like live wire. But she couldn't think of those things right now. Not when their friendship was hanging by a thread.
"No Fate-chan," Nanoha began. "I can't be your friend anymore. I can't… not when I feel like this." She slid her arms across Fate's slim waist and pulled the girl closer, her head leaning on Fate's shoulder.
Fate's arms were limp at first but then reciprocated the act and pulled the brunette closer. How she longed for this. Nanoha's warmth, the smell of lavender on her hair… her soft, brown hair. Fate hung on to Nanoha for dear life, hoping that time would allow them to stay that way forever. But she knew better than to wish for the impossible, she had been doing so since…
Since she realized she had fallen for Nanoha.
"I haven't being totally honest with you Nanoha." The girl in her arms froze, Fate took it as her cue. "You're right I've been avoiding you on purpose. I… I intentionally joined the track team so that I could avoid you. But it's not for the reasons you think. I wanted you guys t-to spend more time together… you and Yuuno." She broke the embrace and held Nanoha's shoulders. "I knew I was in the way of your… relationship. That if you always spent time with me, you and Yuuno couldn't have a functional relationship. I knew I was in the way, so I stepped back, so to speak." Fate cleared her throat, all the while surprised by the sudden burst of courage she had. But that didn't suppress the pain she felt as she said those words.
"You would never be in the way Fate-chan." Nanoha held up a hand and caressed Fate's cheek.
The blonde leaned in to the touch and let one of her hands overlap the back of Nanoha's. She closed her eyes, burning the feeling of the girl's touch into her skin. She had a feeling this would be their last conversation… ever.
Fate felt something warm against her lips. Her eyes shot open. Nanoha's face was right in front of her. Wait, Nanoha was kissing her?
The sensation of Nanoha's lips against hers was enough to make her give in to the kiss. Then, she felt something… wet brush against her upper lip. Parting her lips slightly, she let Nanoha's tongue slip into her mouth. The brunette's tongue began to freely explored it. Bolts of electricity surged through their bodies as their tongues met. Fate leaned on the brunette, pressing her back against one of the lockers with an audible bang. Nanoha was taken aback by Fate's actions, but didn't have any complaints. She felt Fate's body flush against hers.
The contact almost burned her.
Fate pinned both of Nanoha's hands above her head, her tongue moving eagerly inside Nanoha's mouth. The brunette's knees went weak but Fate pressed her body harder against Nanoha's, supporting both of them. Nanoha parted her lips as Fate's tongue darted forcibly towards hers again. A few moments later, Fate's knee accidentally pushed against the area in between Nanoha's legs making her gasp. Fate took the chance to deepen the kiss (if that were possible) even further. And the dance of tongues began again. The two tongues wrestled hungrily against one another, twisting and turning, pushing and recoiling, fighting for dominance.
Soon the kiss ended, leaving both girls breathless.
Fate let go of Nanoha's hands and leaned her palms against the locker on either side of the brunette's head. She felt the shorter girl's forehead press against hers.
"I don't want to be your best friend, Fate-chan. I want to be so much more than that," Nanoha said.
Fate's eyes opened and saw Nanoha's flushed cheeks and the beads of sweat on her forehead. She looked even more beautiful than she normally did. Then again, she was Nanoha, and Nanoha was always beautiful.
"Well, we just have to stop being best friends then." Fate said with a smile, nuzzling her nose into Nanoha's auburn hair.
Nanoha's arms circled Fate's back, just before saying those four words.
"I love you Fate-chan."
It was going to be alright. She didn't care if they weren't best friends anymore because the bond they shared now could never be rivaled by the friendship they had before. And she knew nothing, absolutely nothing could change that.
"Me too, Nanoha. Me too..."
Tada! That's it... How'd you like it? I'm not really sure if I got their personas correct… Reviews please… I already have 3 more fics that are on-going…
More reviews, more posts… thanks! Be gentle (",)…