A cliched bunny that wouldn't die - not my usual fare. M+ Rating for implied sexual situation
Thanks again to the guys at AFC for their comments and suggestions while writing this fic.
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe and all related materials are the property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury and Warner Brothers. I am in no way affiliated with JKR, Bloomsbury or Warner Brothers, and use their materials without their permission or knowledge.
Ron carefully removed the last ward holding the door shut and prepared himself for the final assault.
Luckily, there was nothing more complicated than some locking charms professor Flitwick taught his six and seventh year students, or Ron might have needed to call in reinforcements.
Normally he wouldn't hesitate to bring his partner, Harry, in on any caper, but this was a special situation, and unsanctioned by their Auror Command bosses. As it was, Ron was running solo.
He was being careful, even though it wasn't likely to turn dangerous – not for him at least. He watched his target pick up the blonde in the bar, who Ron was shocked to recognise as a fantastic looking Daphne Greengrass, and then waited the proscribed fifteen minutes for both subjects to get 'comfortable' before proceeding.
Taking a deep breath, Ron silently cast a spell to blow the door off its hinges, and charged into the room.
"Expelliarmus!" he cast immediately.
Caught completely by surprise, Ron' spell tore a ridiculously thick wand from a very naked Harry Potter, and flung it across the room. It squeaked as it bounced off the wall to land on a slightly less naked Daphne, who was tied spreadeagled to the frame of the bed. The gag in her mouth muffled a shriek.
"Don't move!" yelled Ron angrily.
"Weasley!" yelled Harry. "What the blue blazes do you think you are doing?"
"I knew it!" yelled Ron, waving his wand threateningly at Harry. "I got reports you where hanging out in this bar, picking a different girl each month. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew you couldn't be immune to all those tarts throwing themselves at you."
"Ronald," said Harry, slightly calmer. "Put your wand down and I can explain-"
"I don't think I need you to spell this one out, Potter. I can see for myself what's happening here," said Ron, waving his wand towards the wide-eyed girl on the bed.
"It's not what you think -"
"Oh, I can't wait to hear this one," snapped Ron. "I suppose are you going to tell me this is all some sort of a setup to get Daphne here, a known Pure-blood sympathiser, to share some big conspiracy with you or something, eh? Well I don't care; you are still cheating on Ginny."
The wand glowed dangerously as his famous temper flared. Despite staking out the pub and seeing Harry meet a woman there, he still hadn't really expected to catch his brother in-law blatantly violating his sacred marriage vows.
It was enough to make him consider casting an unforgiveable.
"Ronald, you need to calm down before you do something rash."
"RASH? You don't want me to do something rash?" Ron almost screamed. "I'll show you rash."
With two quick steps, he closed the distance between them and pressed his wand into Harry's throat.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take your head off now," he said. "Not that it'll matter once Ginny hears about this. I reckon you'll wish I killed you now once she gets a hold of you."
Sweat broke out on Harry's forehead as Ron forced his head back.
"Polyjuice!" squeaked Harry.
Ron paused at the unexpected pronouncement.
"Polyjuice," repeated Harry. "In the cauldron over there. We're using Polyjuice."
"What?" said Ron. "Polyjuice? What the blazes for?"
Even as he spoke, a horrible suspicion suddenly started to form in his mind – a horrible, horrible suspicion that meant he might be in a lot of trouble.
"We are using Polyjuice potion," said Harry hurriedly. "You know, pretending to be other people."
Ron felt his stomach start to sink. He let his wand drop a bit. Everybody had heard the stories. Everybody talked about the possibilities. Nobody admitted doing it, not even the married couples who were together for a very long time.
"Ginny?" he asked, looking again at the gagged and bound blonde on the bed.
"Well it sure isn't Daphne Greengrass," laughed Harry nervously.
"Hang on," said Ron rallying. "Why would you come here, hiding out in a Muggle hotel instead of at home where nobody would see you?"
"The children," said Harry. "You know, all the children running around poking their noses where they shouldn't be. We couldn't risk being caught out by them."
"Oh," said Ron, forcing himself not to think too deeply what his mistake was going to cost him. "I can see that. I guess I sort of bugger it up, haven't I?"
"You could say that," said Harry.
"I, er, I guess I should be going, then," said Ron, taking a step backwards and nervously shooting a look at the girl on the bed.
He suddenly felt very awkward being in the same room as his sister when she was in a rather compromising position – not that he was unhappy that she was currently gagged and unable express herself.
"That would probably be best," said Harry, obviously also feeling just as awkward.
"Um, sorry about the door," said Ron, backing out of the room. "And, well, you know."
"Yeah," said Harry. "That's okay. I'm sure all will be forgiven, eventually, once a bit of time has passed, you know."
"Nah," said Ron, waving his wand to repair the door. "Although I think next time you should put a few better spells on the door, mate. That was rather amateur of you, using school charms like that."
"I'll keep it in mind," said Harry shuffling Ron towards the door.
"Oh, and I think you need to pick a better alias for the booking too," added Ron. "I mean really, using Hogwarts professor's names? Might as well sign it with your real name."
"Yeah," laughed Harry, bustling Ron completely out into the hallway. "Thanks mate."
The door closed in Ron's face with a loud clang that echoed down the empty hallway loudly.
Smacking a hand to his forehead, Ron started the long walk home, knowing there was going to be hell to pay over this, and not just with his sister, but once his wife found out he had been snooping around and interfering again, he might as well move into the spare room.
With any luck, Harry would convince Ginny to let it go and save them all a lot of embarrassment. Merlin knew Ron was never going to mention it again. If he could Obliviate himself, he would have.
Back in the room, Harry picked up his wand and with a deft flick, removed the gag from the blonde girl's mouth.
"Minerva, that was masterful!" exclaimed the Polyjuiced girl on the bed excitedly.
"Thank you, Filius," replied the Polyjuiced 'Harry', grinning widely.
The bathroom door opened and a girl looking suspiciously like a tarted up Luna Lovegood poked her head out.
"Is it safe to come out now?" she whispered quietly.
"Yes, Pomona," said 'Harry'. "He's gone."
"Well that was exciting," said 'Luna' bouncing into the room in all her naked glory.
A fiery gleam suddenly lit 'Harry's' eyes as he moved purposely towards the girl.
"Yes it was, wasn't it?"