Author's Note: Um, wow. I cannot believe that I've updated. This story kind of - no, who am I kidding - this story really just died for me. I couldn't write a bloody line of it, couldn't think about it or the characters... I've been out of the DGM fandom for a very long time now, but recently, I kept thinking about this story. And about all of your lovely, amazing, kind, inspirational reviews. Truly, you guys are one of the huge reasons why this thing is finally updated after so freaking long. I'm sorry for the wait! And I'm sorry, but I don't know when the next update will be. I'm getting ready for college now, and who knows when next my Yullen Muse will hit me...

But, thank you for your kindness. This chapter is for all of you.


19 - honestly now

One of the few things Tiedoll ever demanded from them was honesty. Honesty, the old man often declaimed, was at the foundation of everything. You'll never get a girl if you lie to her, the general told them, wagging a finger while Marie nodded seriously and Kanda rolled his eyes.

Well, he certainly wasn't trying to get a girl – he wasn't trying 'to get' the beansprout either, mind – but every time Kanda closed his eyes he could see Tiedoll's unhappy visage, shaking his head with a look that clearly showed how disappointed he was.

Honesty didn't have the decency to be cold cut black or white. There were no definite lines to it, no ultimatums of ultimate truth or ultimate lies. There was too much in between. Honesty wasn't like that, but facts were. Information.

Kanda swore and pounded his fist into the tiled wall of his shower. As if he needed another reason to hate Leverrier—the man new just what buttons to push… knew the only way to coerce Yuu Kanda into doing something that went against all his morals.

One scalding hot shower later, Kanda was back where he started: on his bed, mission folder on the table beside him. The phone was silent in its cradle, and for once, that felt strange. (Fuck, everything did. He needed to make a decision.)

If he thought about it long enough, and by god he had, the scales were not equal. For as much as he…liked his current life, his past had dogged his footsteps long enough. There were some things you put before anything and everything, anyone and everyone.

He had never truly apologized to anyone, but as he opened the mission folder with a wince and a dark scowl and a clenched fist, Kanda apologized to the damn naïve beansprout.

"Kanda!" Allen was breathless over the phone. He paused for a moment before asking: "Er, how are you?"

"Fine," Kanda replied, a bit more snappishly than he'd intended. "What's up with you?"

"Huh? Oh! I couldn't find the phone in all this mess," Allen laughed sheepishly. "Took me a few moments of frenzied digging…anyway, did you call for a reason?"

"No shit. Who'd call with no reason?"

"I don't know, it's a long shot but I thought perhaps you might just have wanted to talk…" Allen said in a distinctly pouting tone. When Kanda didn't reply for a long moment, he sighed and acquiesced. "Alright, alright, I know, it was a stupid idea. Yuu Kanda would never call without a good reason."

"Finally, something's gotten through that old-man head of yours," Kanda rolled his eyes. He took in a breath and frowned. "Look. The Order Ladies group or whatever is having an art exhibit of the old geezer's work. Marie and I have to go, and…Marie thought you might like to tag along." He said the last bit in a muttered rush, and began pacing the room. "Not that it matters or that I care, but—"

"I'll be there," Allen replied after a heartbeat. "Thank you for inviting me, Kanda."

"It's from both of us," Kanda stressed.

"Oh? I thought you said Marie wanted to invite me?" Allen was grinning, he could tell. "Did you, by god, share this sentiment?"

"Shut up, beansprout," was the best Kanda could come up with. "Get your twelve year old ass over here Saturday at five. Don't be late or we'll leave without you." He hung up before Allen could retort, but kept staring at the phone in his hand until Marie entered the room.

"You going to call Allen?" he asked.

Kanda shook out of his trance and scowled. He all but chucked the phone back into its cradle.

"Already did," he grumbled as he brushed past Marie and headed outside for a very long training session.

Morals sucked. No amount of training, or bitching at Marie, or staring contests with his reflection fixed the twisting in his stomach and the overall disgusting feeling that had settled over him. (Like roots, clawing at his heart—)

No. No, no, no. He was strong enough to go through with this. He had to. His soul needed this.

Saturday arrived almost slowly, but the hours until Allen's arrival flew by. One minute Kanda was rationalizing all the shit the Order 'asked' of him in the mission documents, and the next he was staring down at the suspect in question; Allen Walker arrived at precisely five o-clock, dressed up with a tie and everything.

"What the hell happened to your hair?" Kanda asked, letting Allen in.

Allen blushed a pretty pink. "I thought I'd try and tame it…"

"Looks like you fucking steamrolled it," Kanda commented, and then his hand grew a brain of its own and reached up to tousle Allen's squashed hair until it was back to the familiar messy spikes. He dropped his arm immediately when Allen stared up at him with wide gray eyes, and he stared back, utterly shocked.

"Um," Allen began, but they were thankfully spared any awkwardness when Marie dashed down the stairs.

"Sorry, sorry! I couldn't find my bow-tie," he apologized with a smile. "Right then, shall we?"

"I'll drive," Kanda stated brusquely, releasing the breath he didn't know he'd been holding and all but running out to the garage.

A/N: Yeahhhh it's not very long, but this felt like a good place to end it and I really don't wanna force anything with this fic. Hope you enjoyed it! (Our ickle Kanda is finally showing signs of emotion, ZOMG.) Thanks for reading! :)