A/N: a rollercoaster of a chapter I must say. I feel it has everything in it. I hope no one takes offense. And it fills any leftover voids. I honestly don't know if this is the end. I have an OCD obsession to not finish on an odd number so you may get one more. But we shall see.
Disclaimer: I am not Smeyer.
Music – Call it Off: Tegan & Sara, Fools: The Dodos, Any Fun: Coconut Records
Chapter 19- ~Fools! Call It Off~
Lauren made a sound like a startled animal dying in the middle of winter while being beaten by an overgrown bear. Ok, so it wasn't that exact noise rather it was more of a beautiful screetching noise.
I processed the sound slowly. Dam, I wish I'd had the opportunity to record it. I wanted to remember if for the rest of my pathetic time here at Simpsons.
I heard Maria snap in the direction of Emmett. "What?"
He shrugged. "You heard me. scoot." He flicked his hands in front of him. making the universal gesture for movement.
My god, he didn't understand.
He didn't understand the entity of what he had just said.
He didn't understand how much I owed him.
I loved him more for it. I wonder if he was told anything, or if it was just a spur of the moment thing, a true Emmettism. I still hadn't moved. My brain was reflecting on the brilliant sentence the ape like boyfriend of Rose had said moments before.
"Jesus Edward, are you pussy whipped or what, visiting your girlfriend at work…excuse meeeee…Bella I swear kid, your life has more drama than Alice can even fantasise about!"
I wondered if Emmett wanted a statue of himself outside the front of Simpsons, with that immortalised phrase inscribed on a plaque underneath. Or maybe he wanted a book dedicated to him. Yes that seemed more like something I could do, Edward wasn't saying anything. He was just standing there looking all kinds of beautiful with a big grin on his face. He caught my eye and I grinned back.
Rose appeared a second later. Glancing at Lauren who still hadn't closed her mouth, Rose flinched in her direction and tried to squeeze past her as well. Sitting down, she reached over and grabbed a bread roll. She split it in half, shovelling it into her mouth she chose to confront me. "Listen Bella, I know you don't finish work till 4 but do you think we could hang out for a bit. I swear your dickhead dandy has been annoying me all day, asking questions about why your pmsing or hating him so much." Emmett chuckled.
"Pregnant Bella? If I have told you once Eddie boy, I've told you twice, COVER IT." An awkward laugh escaped from my mouth. I didn't actually plan a response. Edward raised one eyebrow at me, I shook my head. A small smile flittered across Rose's lips. She at least had some idea what was happening around here.
Sarah was suddenly standing next to Maria. She smiled at me. I think my mouth dropped open because Rose glared at me with a strange twinkle in her eye and I knew what that meant. Last time I'd freaked out and my jaw had dropped, a fly or some crazy town insect flew into my mouth and I spent twenty minutes choking before Rose had come over and thumped my back. Thank god that did not happen now.
"Bella, I finish in ten minutes, if you want I can cover the rest of your shift." My jaw may have been closed but I knew my face portrayed my shock. This was Sarah, the same Sarah who had virtually given my number out to a crowded table of drunken feral guys, the same Sarah who had ignored me twenty minutes earlier when she took my order; she was being nice to me. And then the "I don't mind," tacked onto the end jarred me into the present.
Was I in a twilight zone? Lauren finally closed her mouth. Whipping out her order book she glanced at the table which was now full. It looked like she was about to take the groups orders but with one frightful glance from Rose, she took a step back. Rose sat next to Emmett. Edward stood on the opposite side of the table. He was leaning forward, his arms gripping the top of the chair. His brow was furrowed. He was anxious about something. The smile I had seen a minute ago was long gone.
"yes. That would be lovely thanks Sarah." She smiled at me again. I tried not to shiver.
Lauren made another noise. Her eyes darted between me and Edward. "I…what…just..understand…" shaking her head she snapped at me, "I will let you trade shifts just this once but don't think just because you suddenly decide to do…all this," she waved her hand out over the table, "that I will let you do it again." I nodded once, still in a daze.
She marched off. I wanted to laugh when she practically walked into another table. Glancing back at us, she stood up straighter before disappearing into the kitchen. I let out a sigh of relief.
Edward came around and stood next to me. I looked at him; the anxiety was still in his eyes. I wondered what was wrong. I hadn't seen him look so nervous since the hospital. Shit, where the heck had Alice disappeared to? I glanced at the clock and realised it was pretty much time for Sarah…well me to clock off. Despite how relieved I was about Simpson's finally knowing, I wanted this day to end. I wanted to go home and fall asleep on the couch with Edward by my side. Grabbing his arm, I sighed. "I'll be right back. I need to sign out."
"But Bella…" I didn't hear the rest of what he had said because out of the corner of my eye I saw Maria storm off out the back. Great, I knew they were all preparing to attack me out there. Some sort of primary school gang up game. I bet it was called 'Corner the Swan.' I smirked at my internal monologue. Edward glared though. He probably thought it was another way for me to avoid his questions.
"I will explain everything I promise. I will be back. But first, let part one of Corner the Swan begin." He shook his head back and forth; I guess he was happy I had clued him in? He left a chaste kiss on my forehead before I too, took off in the direction of the backroom. I heard Emmett bellow out, "Bella! Bring back more bread rolls!"
Lauren was standing in the corner where the storeroom and the kitchen met. A nasty sneer graced her lips as she followed me out the back. I'd just hung my apron up on the hook before she started her ranting parade.
"How much did you have to pay him for that performance?"
"What? Nothing." I was so over this shit. I don't know why I bothered listening to them anymore.
"I can't believe you are the girlfriend."
Ok, fine I'll bite. "And why not Lauren? Why? Because I am not anything like Tanya? Because I don't willingly give my phone number out to strangers, tell me, why you think I couldn't be his girlfriend."
"There are two reasons really, one, I would have thought Edward Cullen had better taste and two, why would anyone date a pathetic little whining bitch like you." Maria stood next to her. She had her arms crossed over her chest, Jesus what did Jasper see in her? he was such a nice kid and despite what I had previously thought, she was a bitch. Pure and simple. Probably worse than Jessica even.
I snapped. It was one thing for them to question my sanity, even to insinuate Edward had bad taste, but it was quite another to compare me to his past conquests. "I'm sorry but didn't you say that you had met Tanya?" Maria snorted.
"Bella, there was probably a better way of going about all of this. You didn't have to embarrass us let alone yourself, in front of the entire restaurant. How are you going to show your face around here when you break up?"
I can't have heard her correctly. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. On your first shift all you had to do was say, listen girls, I'm not going to play your stupid game because I am having a fling with Mr. ten."
"A fling?" I would recognise that voice anywhere. I spun around to see Alice standing there. Her death glare on. "You listen here, you sneaky little sluttyanna! This girl here is the other half of my brothers committed relationship. She will not be reduced to some bullshit fling."
Lauren didn't even acknowledge what Alice had said, merely turning her attention to her presence. "Excuse me, Alice was it? Only staff members are allowed back here." Maria put her hands on her hips, smiling she nodded.
"Lauren is correct Alice." I wondered what Maria would think when she found out Alice loved Jasper. I shuddered at the thought.
"Alice, just wait out the front. All I have to do is sign out and then I'm leaving. I don't have a shift tomorrow so…"
Alice's eyebrows rose in confusion when she turned to stare at me. "You can't be serious Bella, you're going to settle for all this shit?"
"Yes I am."
Her mouth dropped open, I wanted to tell her about the fly and me choking but it probably wasn't the place nor the time. "What? WHY?"
"What is the point? These girls aren't going to listen to a single word I say. All they see is some slick little girl taking away their favourite ogling toy. And to be honest Alice, I am fine with thinking that because I know it's not true." I turned to leave and Alice grabbed my arm.
"Stop for one second Bella. Think about this."
"I've stopped and I have thought. No amount of me spieling insults at anyone will make me feel better. Edward is still mine. I am his and we are together." I turned to the two girls, they were smirking at me, their condescending grins making me want to slap their made up plastic little faces but I had more control than they did. So instead I spoke in a quiet, calm voice, I hoped it scared the shit out of them. "Maria and Lauren you can tell everyone they can try to fuck it all up and manipulate the hell out of both of us, as much as they want. It is not going to work." I grabbed Alice's arm and tried to drag her out of the storeroom. Rose was standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest. I don't know how long she had been standing there but it looked like she was attempting to be my security guard.
I didn't get a chance to leave though, because my quick realisation of Rose's presence gave Lauren enough time to speak. She started spieling off some vile insult so my head snapped to her direction.
"Bella Swan just wait, there is no way that Edward Cullen is going to stick around for you. He will probably grow tired of you soon and cut his losses." My god it was like some horribly cliché high school moment. Corner the Swan had taken its rules from every single mean girls scene I could think of. Why wasn't I more upset at what they were saying? Was I waiting for them to whip out a burn book and declare I had some sort of secret? All I could think of was how relieved I was that I was all over. All I wanted to do was curl up in my bed with Edward wrapped around me. I heard Rose fully enter the room, her heels clanking on the tiles.
But No, I still couldn't even get the chance to leave because Maria just had to add her two cents. "You're a pathetic hang on that thinks fluttering her eyes at Cullen, will allow someone like you to keep him. I can't believe how deranged you are. Do you realise how many girls he has fucked? Do you understand you can't simply tame someone like Cullen."
I was really over this. Could they not see that it was no longer just there way of getting back at me? It was now a jealous fuelled ridiculous attempt to crack me. "Even if I was some pathetic child Maria, which I am not, it seems to be working does it now? How long has it been since rumours of Edward fucking around?"
Of all the people in the word, Lauren just had to didn't she?
"You think you know everything? Edward has been fucking around the entire time you have been together, first there was the whole reunion with Tanya that was broadcasted. Everyone knew about how they had "lunch" together then he went on an all night booze-a-thon and we all know what that means. "
I heard Rose comment in her dry tone. "Did you hear that on the slut network? Or is it more of a dog like frequency, where your ears perk up at the sign of infidelity?" Alice laughed. I was glad she was here; Rose would defend me the only way she knew how. She could respond to any insult with the kind of wit I envied. It was not something I had ever perfected nor had I ever needed to.
"So, he did cheat?" Maria seemed surprised that we could laugh about something she deemed serious.
"No, do you honestly think I would let my best friend stay with the dandy boy if his cock was in some other girl's lady parts?" Oh Rose. How tactful.
Maria didn't want to hear a bar of it though. Throwing her hair over her shoulder she glared at Rose. Her face frozen in the bitchiest face I had ever seen. Seriously it rivalled Tanya and Lauren's combined. "Rosalie, this has nothing to do with you. Why don't you go back to bending over for boys and leave us to this little girl." I wanted to shout 'ooooohhhhh snap' because that was the way my mind operated. Yes I was the sarcastic naïve kid who responded with lame humour. I bit my lip instead, it seemed to be more of a productive move.
"Because this so called 'little girl' isn't as low as you are. She doesn't fuck boys to make her Simpsons reputation better Maria, she has class and if you think I am going to leave her to face you two, you both are "seriously deranged." She used quotation marks, vomiting Maria's words back at her.
Lauren scoffed at me, though directing her comments to Rose. "She will be fine, if the rumours about Edward's girlfriend are true."
"Rumours? What rumours?" my mouth went dry. Why was I nervous? I didn't have anything to hide. Unless you counted James and why would that be rumoured about? Who would even know enough about that to start some kind of rumour?
There was no way I could simply leave Simpsons now without this all coming to a head. A whining voice brought instant relief to my stressed out psyche. "Why does Bella get rumours and I don't? This is so fucking unfair! I am more messed up than she is." Rose clasped her hand over her mouth to stop any hysterical laughter.
Groaning I warned "Alice!"I really didn't want to give them any more ammo.
Jasper swung open the back door. Great. The cavalry had arrived. "What the hell is going on in here? Lauren half the restaurant is in a stand still. Bella I thought you had gone home…is anyone going to tell me….Maria?"
"Shut up Jasper it doesn't concern you anymore." OHHHH something seemed wrong in Masper-ville…. Jaria-ville? Oh god, shut up Swan focus on the verbal insults directed your way.
"Jesus Maria. I come in here to make sure no one has died seeing as I have half the restaurant hanging outside the door, not to start yet another fight with you. That Edward guy is just about throwing a fit. I think you should go speak to him Bells, he keeps asking for you and he is seriously stressed." I saw the traces of a smile flitter across Alice's lips. Oh god, of course she was more concerned that Jasper was having issues with Maria that worries about her brother.
"Before you go Bells, I want to know if it is true…I heard that you were stringing along your best friend when you Edward first decided he was interested. I heard that you paid James to call and say he wanted to attack you to keep Edward interested." I felt sick. My heart thumped painfully in my chest. My hands started to sweat a little. The memories of James came back to me. The phone calls mixed it with every moment we had spent together growing up. She had taken it too far. These rumours were cutting. She could say all she wanted about my relationship, anything she wanted to say because it wouldn't affect me. I trusted Edward. I loved Edward. And he loved me. But mentioning James brought back on the insecurities I had, brought back the things that scared me.
Jasper obviously sensed how far I had slipped. How close I was. Because he cut in. "Jesus Maria! What the fuck, you have no right… Come on Bella." He gripped my shoulders and pushed me towards the door, out to the restaurant. Out to Edward.
As I was guided out the door I heard Alice snap with her forked tongue. "It's a pity the lies you are saying are back here because honestly Maria, I would love to see how Edward would respond to your fuckery. If you don't believe me, please, please, please test it out."
My heart rate lowered when I spotted Edward pacing in front of the door. His hands were ripping at his hair.
"Edward." My voice was soft. Quiet. Strangled. He marched over to me. His arms pulling me into my chest as he wound his arms around me. I lent in letting his scent crush any of the James fear, letting him soothe me. I felt his chest rumble as he whispered into my ear.
"Rose said I had to let you fight your own battles. Fuck Bella, I wanted to come in but then Jazz said it was probably better if I didn't."
"It's okay. Let's just get home, I can sleep and you can study." I wanted to get home. I was exhausted. I needed to get home and wrap myself around this boy and let him make me feel safe. He could study for his stupid exams all he wanted but he wasn't leaving my side. Not now.
"It's not fucking ok. But it will be. I love you Bella."
There was a loud commotion behind us. Emmett let out a strangled groan. Rose rushed out from the backroom, her face flushed. Anxiety etched on her face, she flew straight at Emmett, his head had snapped back onto the chair. "Baby what's wrong?"
"Rosie, it hurtssss."I had never seen a male call her 'Rosie' without getting soccer punched to the 'little boys' but seeing as this would affect her, Rose just sighed and squatted down in front of him.
Taking on the most motherly and devoted expression I had ever seen, Rose calmly questioned, "Em, what hurts?"
He let out another gut wrenching moan. "I ate too much. My stomach hurts. I think I am going to be sick. Rosie can we go home nowwww, the big babies are reunited and the pixie is well. I need to lie down and digest." He wiggled his eyebrows at Rose when he said lie down. She shook her head in irritation.
"Stupid boy. Let's go." Rose sort of hauled him to his feet and pulled him along past us. Emmett winked as they walked past. I was anchored to Edward's side. When he tugged me towards the exit I shook my head.
"Bella, let's go." I reached up and pressed down on the worry line on his forehead. It immediately disappeared.
"We can't just leave Alice here Pretty Boy."
"Yes oh. Come on, let me go get her."
"Hell no. I will call her."
"Edward." I felt like stamping my foot but I feared more than likely I would end up in tears if I had another emotional outburst.
"Bella, I am not letting you go back there…right now, you're my first priority ok?"
He whipped out his phone but he didn't have to call her though. She came strutting out of the storeroom, Jasper's arm tucked around her shoulder. In true dramatic style she winked at me before declaring quite loudly.
"Jesus Jasper, you've kept me waiting!"
He dropped his arm from around her. He gave me a look to make sure I was alright, I nodded in response. He turned back to Alice, "umm…so Alice…do we know each other?"
Alice huffed. Her arms folded across her chest in mock annoyance. "You listen here you little southern boy, we were on a pseudo date before you decided this tentacally girl was worth your time." I expected Jasper to say something about the fact Alice just referred to Maria as tentacally. I mean seriously, was that even a word? I had images of a ten armed Maria looking quite a bit like the blue man from Watchman attacking Jasper, flash through my head. Instead Jasper's ears seemed to perk up at the Southerner comment.
Embarrassed he ran his hand through his hair, taking off his chefs cap in one gesture as he muttered, "Sorry m'am."
In true Alice style, she had manipulated it so this was a fucking memorable first meeting.
"Alice Cullen is the name. Now let's hit the road Jazz so you can take me out to dinner tonight." I knew Alice would want me to congratulate her use of the classic 'hit the road Jack' song, so I filed it away to remember later. Right now I had more urgent matters. Edward hadn't moved from his stance in front of me, his arm tugging me closer and closer into his body. It was actually quite a turn on. Seeing him go all jealous. It reminded me of the way he had acted on my porch when Jimmy had shown up, without the whole fearing-for-my-life-because-my-previously-psycho-best-friend-harbours-secret-or-are-they-not-so-secret-desires-to-sexually-assault-me.
We all walked outside and stood in the car park. It wasn't raining thank god. I chewed on my bottom lip. I think I was somewhat shell shocked. Was I meant to say something to all of them for coming to my rescue? It was an awkward moment. Edward's jaw was clenched and I didn't know why he seemed so tense. I put my hand in his and he seemed to loosen up, minutely.
Jasper was the only one who understood; my silence, Edward's stance, Alice's glares, what the cracking of Rose's knuckles meant and the continuation of Emmett's groaning, when we were faced with the dynamic cast of the Simpsons sluts in full force.
"This is going to turn into some crazy town brawl in the middle of this classy establishment. Swan get your arse into gear, fix your boy before he snaps one of the waitresses, Hale grab that ogre of a man who seemed to shove in more food than oxygen and I shall hold on tight to Miss Alice Cullen so I can get her home and off to a date…Let's go."
I guess we were all shell shocked because it seemed to work.
Rose conceded first, grabbing onto Emmett they left.
Jasper put his hand out for Alice to clasp and she did, skipping off she twirled around shouting in my direction "chickadee I got your bag…catch." And with that she flung my handbag at me. Of course in my uncoordinated and shell shocked state the bag hit me in the face and I just about fell over. Edward held me up. He didn't say anything though.
"Thanks Al! See you back at ours." She grinned as Jasper held the door open to his car. She got in and wound down the window, her little hand saluting as they drove past.
Edward was a different matter. He was my different matter. The look on his face ripped my heart out from my chest. He looked torn between storming back inside and snapping Lauren and Maria in half or running off on his own to punish himself for not knowing what was happening. Finally with a quick tug on his jacket and the whispered words of "it's not your fault and I need you now." He followed behind me. His arm quickly scuffing its way around my neck, pulling me closer, kissing the side of my head, he drove us away in his car.
The Simpsons chapter in my life was over.
Until my next shift of course.
He didn't say anything the entire way back to my place. He looked drained. Conflicted though. His hands gripped the steering wheel like our lives depended on it.
I led him upstairs to my apartment and he followed like a little lost lamb. His hand gripping onto my so tightly I was losing feeling. I pulled him inside, steering us to my bedroom we past Alice and Jasper. Jazz seemed lost in a daze, Alice was gesturing widely, her hands flying in every which direction. A sombre look flashed across her face as she saw Edward trailing behind. I looked back at him and noticed his eyes looked a bit red. Shit. Fuck. I had made him cry. I just about ripped my door off its hinges, struggling to open it as quickly as I could. He made a startling noise when I pulled it closed behind us. Alice's voice suddenly muted by the wood.
I turned around and Edward slumped into me. His head resting on my shoulder. He was shaking. "Edward, are you alright?" He shook his head back and forth across my shoulder. I knew he wasn't alright but I needed to ask. We stood there for a few minutes, my arms cradling his head into me. He kissed my shoulder and started tugging at my shirt. He wrestled with it for a few minutes.
"Get this fucking uniform off now please." His voice quivered. It wasn't from lust though. He sounded disgusted. With me? No. with the uniform. With himself to I guessed. I tugged it off and pulled on one of his t-shirts. His hands flew to my pants, tugging them off, he through them into the corner of my room, only then did his breathing finally steady. He kissed me forcefully on the lips. His hands gripped my hips, he pulled me towards him.
"Edward." It was my warning tone. I knew he liked to silence my thoughts with sex. I knew he liked to push everything aside. But not this. He was anxious. I needed to let him make me feel safe.
"Ok, but can you let me lie down with you please." I nodded; I was worried at how polite he was being. I sat down on my bed before scooting up and tucking myself under the covers.
He ripped his jeans and t-shirt off before sliding in next to me. He pulled me into his chest. My head tucked under his neck, his arms embracing me. I finally felt safe. I let my guard down and took a few uneasy breaths.
I collected my thoughts. "I am sorry, I should have told you."
"yeah." He was disconnected, I wriggled into his embrace, my ear flush up against his heart, and I could hear it thumping away in his chest. He wound his legs around me.
"I'm sorry." He was silent for a minute. He rubbed his arm up and down my back, it was a comfort. He knew how much I was hurting. He knew I needed to feel safe. After everything that had happened today, I realised without a doubt this was where I was meant to be.
I felt myself heading towards a daze like state, there was no way I could sleep, the adrenaline was pulsing through my body, and my thoughts were in chaos. No, it would take me more than the comfort of Edward to lure me to sleep.
"Bella, I am the one that's sorry. I knew something was up but I put my stupid studies before you. I am so sorry. It sounds so stupid doesn't it?"
"Edward, it is not your fault. I didn't want to disturb you with all my trivial stuff. Some girls at work were picking on me so what; your exams are way more import. I would have told you after they were down."
"Fuck, Bella I thought we were past this toning it down, secret bullshit." I pulled my face away from his chest. He was staring down at me. The look on his face conveyed both fear and seriousness.
"I get that everything about Tanya caused you to question me, ok, I get that. I know I had a fucking lousy reputation before we started dating. And then everything with James…. but I just don't understand. Am I that horrible? Did I do something seriously wrong because for whatever reason you obviously don't trust me?" I untangled my arms from his, he tried to pull me back but I needed to some space to understand what he was talking about. My legs tangled tighter around his so he understood I wasn't running.
"I don't understand…what are you talking about Edward?"
"After everything with James. After everything with Tanya. After Alice…I thought, if there was one person you could tell anything to, it would be me. I thought if there was something wrong, you trusted me enough to tell me."
"Edward, it is not about trust."
"I know I sound paranoid. But it is."
"It's not. This is about girls being bitches."
"Bella, do you not get it, I care about you, I care more than you realise. I can barely focus on my work if you are in the same room and after James I can't stop thinking about your safety. The shit at Simpsons, messes with your safety. How can I protect you when those stupid girls are willing to give out your number to any dickhead boy? Alice told me they told some boys you were keen and they harassed you. How can I stay calm and make you safe when…" his voice trailed off for a second. I felt tears dribble down my cheek. Taking a deep breath he finally continued. "Listen, I know you don't like to talk about James anymore. I know you don't even like thinking about it. I know you don't want me walking with you to classes I get that, you like to be independent. But I know James has your new number and you don't even tell me. And then all this bullshit at your work, it's like everyone else can know not me. What did you think I would do? I would do whatever you needed. Because Isabella, I love you." He was close to tears. I felt like the biggest bitch on earth.
I whispered as tears fell down my face. I was scared he was going to do something I didn't want. "I don't know Edward."
He got quieter. His hands fidgeted with my doona cover, he didn't look at me. I felt my heart breaking, he looked so lost, so scared and it was because of me. "Because I am trying to see it in any other way. And I all I can come up with is you don't want me to know about your life." He took a deep breath like he was trying to stop crying. My legs tangled into his harder, I was keeping him here in my bed. He was not getting the chance to leave. I wouldn't let him.
"I was worried about your exams."
He answered me back quickly. "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard."
"I know that now. Edward, I used it to justify everything. I was embarrassed ok…I am embarrassed. I didn't want us to be the hermit couple so I tried to be all nice at work and they didn't seem to like me. They reminded me of the girls I went to school with, they reminded me of you before you changed. I love you Edward, but I know you're different now. I know I have changed you. Alice, Emmett hell even Rose goes on and on about it being for the better but it scares me. I want to know everything about you. I want to know who you are, who you were, where we will be, and those girls were the solution. If you were just like them…I needed them to accept me because you have. I wanted them to like me. I guess a part of it was I wanted someone to like me without knowing I was dating you but even that didn't work because the only thing I hid from them was your name."
"What do you mean?"
"Sarah said she didn't like me because all I did was talk about my glorified boyfriend. Even when I'm consciously trying to not talk about you, trying to let them see me, the real me, I failed."
"But Bella, if I am not me without you, then maybe…"
"I know you make me whole Edward. I guess that's what scares me. When I think of the end of my course, when I think of my future career, I think of where you will be. I literally think ohh I can't go looking for a job there because the med school isn't good enough for Edward. We haven't even talked about anything and suddenly in my head I am planning what frakking colour we are going to paint our bedroom in Chicago and where Alice will sleep. Do you get that? I freak out because I want us to be forever. I don't entertain anything else. Yet I tried to. I want to stay independent. Edward…I just wanted them to like me... why didn't they like me?"
I launched myself at him then. I sobbed into his chest. The warmth of his body closing around me. We lay side by side, his body holding me together. After about half an hour of crying I glanced up at him. My voice was coated with tears but I needed to make this right. "I really am sorry."
"I know and I love you for it." He kissed my forehead. I kissed his cheek. It escalated and before I knew it, we were forcefully kissing each other, I was pushing myself at him, he was responding just as hard. I needed to know he was here. I needed to feel wanted and safe. We were still lying on our sides. Our kisses became ones expressing dominance, expressing surrender, expressing equality; his mouth devoured mine as my arms moved up and down his sides. His hands openly roamed under his t-shirt, his fingers teasing me over my bra.
"Edward." I moaned. He responded with the same kind of sound. His hands dropping to the hem of his shirt and ripping it over my head. As soon as the fabric had freed me, my body was tangled back against his. My legs wrapping around his waist. He rolled us over until he was above me. His body pressing into mine, his weight grounding me to safety. I could feel every part of him, he wanted me and I wanted him.
I rolled us both back over to our sides as he undid my bra. He moaned against my breasts as his tongue latched onto my skin. My fingers ploughed through his hair, and I closed my eyes, pulling his head into my chest. His lips nipped and licked at my nipples causing me to cry out. I hoped Alice and Jasper had already left. His fingers itched down to my legs, spreading them apart causing any traces of Alice and Jazz to leave my mind. He peeled off my knickers. His head stayed in my chest but his hands left my body for a brief second. My eyes snapped open I must have made a noise because his face snapped up to mine.
He lent in and kissed me quickly before he grinned up sheepishly as he pulled off his boxers. His eyes were black. I rubbed myself against him. We both groaned. I felt him hit the side of my thigh and I thrust my hips towards him. His eyes never left mine as he filled me. I wanted to reach up and push that stupid cowlick out of his eye. I wanted him to consume every particle of my body until I collapsed. I wanted to tell him how much I was his. Instead my eyes unblinking stared into his. He sighed and his soft breathe chilled my bare shoulder. We moved together. Our love much more forceful this time around. His hands rubbed up and down my back, I shivered when his lips blew cold air against my shoulder. I pulled his hair to bring his mouth back up to mine. He moved faster against me.
The leg I was leaning on started to spasm so I pushed him back so that I was on top. He groaned as the angle gave him a deeper access. Rather than sit up, I spread my legs wider and leaned forwards. I kept kissing him. He pulled me tighter. I felt the sensations fill my lower stomach. I cried out and my toes hooked around his calf as I came. He followed a minute after. His breathing was rough and spiked. I leant forward onto his now sweaty chest.
He tugged the sheet up around me, keeping me warm. His hand tip toed up my spine, it came to rest on my back, pulling me closer. Protecting me. The sheet engulfed both of us though. His naked body pressing tightly into me. My legs entangled in his. He laughed after a minute, the vibrations shattering across his chest and I lifted my head up to scrunch my nose at him.
"So…how do you feel about tattoos?"
"I was thinking of following Emmett's poetic rescue and getting 'pussy whipped' itched across my arm…what do you think?" I laughed.
"I like the idea of Mr. Ten better." He giggled, like a carefree girl. We were fine now. I kissed his swollen lips before laying my head on his chest once again.
are we alright now?" Any words I had were caught in my throat.
Tears filled my eyes. His other hand reached down and traced over
mine. His minute touch, the feathered feelings of his fingers on mine
caused Goosebumps to erupt up my arm. I waited for his usual cocky
smirk to appear. I waited for him to say something smart arse about
how easy he could get me going, I waited for him to chuckle and laugh
at how my body was so easily affected by his.
He didn't. His eyes didn't waver.
"Edward. We are more than fine. You're stuck with me. I love you Pretty boy." I snuggled into my favourite spot, suddenly tired.
It was a sleepy response, I had almost crashed. "Yeah?"
"I love you too and you're anything but boring."
Thoughts are better than any hangover cures even after dodgy falafel kebabs at casinos' at 3am on Saturday nights. Yes I speak from experience. Please Comment!