...It was supposed to be funny.

It is not funny.


The brain elves made me do it.

The Worst Morning After

Breakfast that morning was a quiet affair. They sat as far away from each other as the table allowed for, keeping their attention entirely and pointedly on their food, as Tohru flicked unnerved looks between the two of them.

(They had, in fact, gone into the kitchen at different stages of food preparation that morning and attempted to assure the girl that they were not at all angry with her, that nothing was wrong and that she shouldn't worry if they were a little quiet that day. Let it never be said that the Soumas did not learn from past mistakes, although Yuki wasn't quite sure if he could speak for that stupid cat; he also felt, sometimes, that Honda-san was cannier than she seemed, since a couple of the looks she'd leveled at him were just slightly short of suspicious.)

The only person acting anything close to normal was Shigure, who had shifted his typewriter to the dining table and was alternating between food and typing. That act had prompted a brief argument, during which Kyou got called artistically insensitive and Shigure was told to play the role of 'starving author' more accurately; violence was averted by Tohru serenely saying that she thought it was nice to see Shigure so dedicated to his work, which made Kyou choke on his miso a bit before he backed off.

After that brief bout of excitement, though, uncomfortable silence took over the room again, until Tohru cleared her throat nervously and asked Shigure what he was writing in an attempt to break it. The author looked up.

"Just something new," he said evasively, adding another sentence to the page, as he trailed off mumbling about inspiration and extra scenes. Slightly curious, Yuki glanced over his cousin's shoulder to the neatly typed words on the paper.

And paused.

Noticing Yuki's attention, Shigure tried surreptitiously to shift the typewriter away from the rat's line of vision. He was, unfortunately though, a little too late.

Yuki smiled sweetly, laying one light hand on the typewriter to keep it in place as he continued to read.

Shigure coughed nervously.


"It appears," Yuki said at length, voice deceptively bland, "To be a lengthy, rambling discourse about two characters of highly differing dispositions."

"Having se--intimate liaisons."

Tohru blinked as tension levels in the room soared.

"On a floor."

Kyou froze, chopsticks raised mid-air.

"While telling each other that they hate each other."

For a while, the room was still.

Then Kyou twitched.

And Yuki twitched.

Shigure sweatdropped.

Carefully, Yuki rolled up the sleeves of his shirt (watching out of the corner of his eye as the cat stood up, cracking his knuckles purposefully and still twitching), glancing over at Tohru, who was looking even more clueless and quite worried.

"Don't worry, Honda-san," he said sweetly, pushing his older cousin back into the chair as Shigure tried to stand.

"I'm sure he'll be out of the hospital by Easter."


The Worst Week After Preview:

"I don't believe this! My little brother's finally lost his virginity! He's all grown up now... ne, ne, 'gure-san! Help me take a picture, I want to remember this day for the rest of my life!"



"SHI. GU. RE."

(no, i am not going to write it. and shigure? it's /still/ called discretion.)