This is my first little try at a Monk oneshot. It is short, and it is an attempt at sad. Please review!

Never Enough

It wasn't- would never- be enough. There were no words he could add that Adrian hadn't already been told by everyone- ranging from the first police officer to arrive, to her very own grief-stricken parents. There were no words for this type of occasion, and as surely as this was, if there had been, Leland Stottlemeyer would not have been the one to find them. The paper before him was blank as his mind wrestled with ideas.


He printed neatly. Although the man had never been Mr. Reckless, ever since it happened, he had been touchier, pushing straight things straighter and neat things neater. Leland hoped he would stop soon, and return to work before he was discharged for a nervous breakdown. The badge came nowhere close to her, but he loved it a lot. Being without both... well, there were no words for that either. Leland sighed, concentrating hard on the small card before him- the paper that he had purchased for a measly 1.50, and that was supposed to heal the dull, throbbing pain of loss. A condolence card. The name that he had written on it was all he had written on it.

There just weren't any words.

Leland pushed his chair back and got a beer from the fridge, catching his disheveled appearance in the mirror in the hallway. He wondered briefly whether any words needed to be said. It was clear (especially to the greatest detective in, at least, San Fransisco) that he, too, was mourning his loss. But... then again...

He sat back at the desk.

The paper sat innocently where he had left it, and he glared at it. What words could one say? He sighed, grumbling, feeling the slight hairs that were making their way through his skin. He considered, for a moment, a mustache. Then he got up and shaved. However, despite his attempts at leaving the small card, he returned minutes later, and it remained. He picked up the pen, and sat. Knowing that it wasn't enough- that nothing could ever be enough- he wrote six words.

I am sorry for your loss.

He had known him for years, but could think of nothing more to write...What else could one say?


Adrian stood, staring down at the ground.

"Nervous Breakdown." He told him, with soft tones of sadness melting his voice. "They tell me I had a nervous breakdown- that I can't- handle stress." Leland didn't know what to say. So he stayed quiet. "I miss her." He could have said, 'me, too'... but he didn't think that was what Adrian wanted to hear. So he stayed quiet. "I miss her so much, Leland- I can't stand it! But...I know I can handle this...I know I can do this. I have to do this." Leland looked up slightly. "Nervous breakdown..." Adrian scoffed sullenly.

"I'm sorry, Monk." They were words anyone could have said. And coming from anyone else, they would have been simple words. But when Adrian Monk looked up at him, with his eyes glazed and moist, he said something that let Leland know he had done right. He didn't beat around the bush, and say 'thank you'. He was blunt, and truthful, and as much as the words stung, the fact that they were the truth, with no soft covering- it let Leland know that Adrian respected him.

"Me, too."

It would never be enough, though.


This is my first try of Monk that I put of here, so please review if you liked it. I live off reviews... they are my life.