Parings: TsuSoka (Tsuzuki x Hisoka).
Disclaimer: I own a blender, but not Yami no Matsuei. I wouldn't mind trading, though.
Beta: Luna-sempai
Thanks to weighed and measured for looking this over. :)

Title:What If We Could
Author: EggDropSoup

Chapter 4.

Hisoka dragged Tsuzuki down the long hallway to his apartment door. As he struggled with the keys and the door knob, he pulled Tsuzuki down by his tie, bridging the gap as their mouths connected and they fumbled inside the entrance.

They traveled the distance to the bedroom in a mass of limbs, their shoes long forgotten at the door. Tsuzuki collapsed on the bed and Hisoka fell with him, straddling his hips.

"Wait, Hisoka!" Tsuzuki groaned out against the hands that were tugging at his waistband, releasing the shirt tucked away and sliding beneath it.

Hisoka growled in frustration as he glared at his partner. "Didn't I tell you to stop talking?" He grinded his hips against Tsuzuki's, earning a moan from the man beneath him. "We're kinda in the middle of something here."

"But, Hisoka!"

"No, less talk. More action."

"But this isn't right."

"It is."

"No, you're only doing this because..."

Hisoka stopped his ministrations and abruptly took Tsuzuki's face in his hands, tracing the shape of it with his fingers. "I love you."

Tsuzuki's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. "What?"

"I. Love. You." Hisoka repeated slowly, sounding each word out as one would to the mentally incompetent.

Tsuzuki continued to gape at him. "But...I-I thought."

"Didn't we agree that thinking wasn't your best attribute?" Hisoka commented dryly as he lowered his hands from Tsuzuki's face and reached down to take one of Tsuzuki's hands in his own.

"I love you, Tsuzuki." A small smile graced Hisoka's face and his cheeks flushed pink. "Don't make me say it again."

"No." Tsuzuki grabbed at Hisoka's wrist, trying to pry his hand away from his partner's. "No, you're mistaking it. What I feel is making you feel that way."

"Don't ever say that." Hisoka took back Tsuzuki's hand, frowning down at him. "I understand more than you do. So don't insult me with your perverse guilt tripping. I know what's been going on in that thick-head of yours all night. You can't lie to me, Tsuzuki."

Hisoka sighed as leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Tsuzuki's.

"Idiot, why do you think I've been undergoing lessons with the Chief?" The corner of his mouth quirked up as Tsuzuki's eyes brightened with realization.

"You did that for me?"

"Us," Hisoka corrected. "By controlling my powers better I was able to understand your and my feelings. And I didn't go through all that just to have you push me away."

Tsuzuki was shaking and so overwhelmed that the only thing he could do was utter his partner's name in amazement. "Hisoka..."

"Now, let's put that mouth of yours to better use." He cut off whatever Tsuzuki was about to retort with a fervent kiss and pulled their bodies closer.

He was hoping to distract Tsuzuki with the move. God knows, that if he allowed Tsuzuki to think he'd come up with a million and one excuses to putt off any progress between them. Sometimes the moron was too caring and selfless for his own good.

His fingers found the tie that constricted Tsuzuki's shirt collar. Small fingers undid the knot and tossed it to the floor. Pushing away the tuxedo coat from his partner's shoulders he let his hands trail down his partner's stomach quickly undoing the buttons of the white dress shirt. The touch of Tsuzuki's bare chest was both thrilling and frightening. He could feel the warm flesh beneath his touch shiver.

"Your heart." Hisoka murmured as he laid a hand over it, felt the warm skin pulse. Felt the leap.

"It's beating so fast."

"Yours too," Tsuzuki said softly and laid a hand on his heart in turn before drawing Hisoka into his arms.

The kisses were no longer slow and steady, but hard, and fast. The evidence of Tsuzuki's arousal was hot against Hisoka's stomach, beneath the thin layers of clothing separating them from joining. Hisoka was so hot. His clothes were sticking to his skin.

In between kisses, they began to peel off each other's remaining clothing. Each piece fell to the floor, one at a time, until they were both skin to skin.

Sighing out his name, Hisoka let himself melt into the kisses, wrapping his arms around his partner tightly.

Tsuzuki's hands roamed over his chest. The sensation of those strong, hard hands on his flesh shimmered straight down to his abdomen. Tsuzuki's mouth skimmed the side of his throat, nibbling.

"Mm." Hisoka murmured, arching a little to invite more. "Tsuzuki..."

Tsuzuki's thumbs brushed over his nipples, and made him gasp.


Hisoka's words and thoughts trailed off into a haze when that nibbling mouth replaced the teasing fingers. He made a sound in his throat, half cry, half moan. It thrilled Tsuzuki, that sound of shocked pleasure, the sudden shudder of his body, the quick jolt of his heart under his lips. As Hisoka arched again, his fingers combed through Tsuzuki's hair, gripping there and pressing him closer. His mind growing frantic and hot.

Tsuzuki rose over him to tug the bed pillows aside for more room, but before he could satisfy himself with that glorious slide of his flesh to Hisoka's flesh. Hisoka lifted his hands, ran them experimentally over his chest.

"Wait." Hisoka needed to catch his breath. His mind was growing obscure with so much emotional and physical stimulation. It was all running through him so quickly that it nearly blurred. He wanted everything, but clearly, so that he might remember each stroke, each taste, and each movement.

His hand trailed down Tsuzuki's shoulder and arm and connected at the right wrist, fingers tracing along the scar running under the metal barrier. "This." He often caught Tsuzuki looking at it when he thought Hisoka wasn't paying attention. The scar was something Tsuzuki had gotten from his past life. "It still bothers you, doesn't it?"

Tsuzuki felt the line of heat, took Hisoka's hand away quickly. "No."

Even now, Hisoka thought, Tsuzuki would still try to hide parts of himself away. "You'll tell me about it later. I want no more secrets, Tsuzuki." Hisoka told him, eyes dark and serious in the dim light.

Tsuzuki said nothing as he lowered to him, took Hisoka's mouth again. There was a hint of urgency now, a taste of need. So much to feel, Hisoka mused. So much to know. And with the warmth of Tsuzuki's body coursing through him, Hisoka willingly enfolded beneath him.

Tsuzuki settled between his legs, fingers brushing the soft entrance before he turned away and bit his lip worriedly. "I'm sorry. I...I don't have any-"

"It's okay." Hisoka leaned up to kiss him, not wanting to stop. Not wanting to break the moment that needed to happen. "Just use whatever's around."

"I have an idea. Here." He put his fingers in Hisoka's mouth. "Suck."

Understanding, but still slightly embarrassed, Hisoka's tongue coated his fingers with saliva until the digits were dripping. Tsuzuki's eyes were on him, taking in the sight, the purple irises flaring with desire.

Tsuzuki took his wet fingers away and pressed them against the puckered opening. "Is this okay?"

Hisoka nodded, biting his lower lip in anticipation and spread his legs wider.

Tsuzuki pressed in a finger slowly. Hisoka felt it, took it in. His inner muscles contracted against the intrusion at first, and he let out a hiss in response to the burning sensation but he was still able to breathe against the pressure. Inhaling and exhaling slowly to calm himself down.

Tsuzuki kissed his thigh, his knee offering silent support as he worked another finger in. Hisoka winced at the resistance, but didn't fight it. Willed his body to relax as Tsuzuki's fingers scissoring within him. Stretching him. It became easier, the waves of pain slowing into a dull ache. And then those fingers brushed against something inside him that had him quivering in pleasure.


"Hmm?" Tsuzuki looked down at him curiously, but Hisoka knew the underlining smugness was there.

"I...please. Again!"

"You mean this?" His voice was full of wonder as he pressed again and Hisoka's body rocked back in response.


Hisoka's breath came in gasps, his heart racing as Tsuzuki's fingers spurned him on. Hitting that spot, again and again. Hisoka's hips bucked against Tsuzuki's hold on his waist as that mouth took him in. He could feel everything. The heat of Tsuzuki's tongue skimming along his erection before. The fingers that caused that lovely feeling to emit within him. And the need that began to overtake his body. Hisoka didn't think he could ever get enough.

Tsuzuki moved his fingers away and Hisoka let out a low whine. Tsuzuki smirked before leaning down to pacify him with a kiss.

"Mm. Ready?" Tsuzuki asked as he positioned himself at Hisoka's entrance.

Hisoka looked at him, licked his lips and nodded.

Tsuzuki eased into him slowly and only after Hisoka gave him consent again, did he start to move.

Hisoka's body buzzed from the contact where Tsuzuki's skin met his own. There was a freedom here, Hisoka discovered. A freedom that overshadowed any of his past experiences. Being touched like this, so close and warm and loved. Every touch ignited a feeling of arousal that he had never discovered possible. Being able to touch and be touched, to stroke, explore, with no purpose other than pleasure. Only Tsuzuki could bring about this ability within him.

The strength of Tsuzuki excited him, challenged his own so that his hands, his mouth, and his movements under Tsuzuki became more demanding. His body was on fire, he realized. The first true licks of the flame that brought nothing but delight and a bright blinding need for more.

But his partner was severely lacking in the pace and he wanted to reassure Tsuzuki that he was comfortable with this. That he was okay.

"I'm not fragile," Hisoka said as he reached up to push Tsuzuki's bangs out of his eyes. And indeed it was true. He felt alive with power, nearly frantic with a kind of raging hunger. His body hummed to the instinctual rhythm and he felt an aching in chest that threatened to overtake his rational thinking. "I want you. Show me more. Show me everything."

No matter how Hisoka's words made his blood swim, Tsuzuki would be careful with him. But he could show his partner more. His hands roamed down Hisoka's body, over his thighs. As if he knew what they both needed, Hisoka parted his legs wider, allowing Tsuzuki to go in farther. His breath came short, shivering out with quick little moans. Hisoka's nails bit into Tsuzuki's back as he began to writhe beneath him.

Tsuzuki lifted his head and watched his partner fly over the peaks of pleasure.

Heat, such heat. Hisoka had never thought such things possible. And this, somehow, this was more profound, subaqueous. He cried out, the wanton sound of his own voice sent another shock to his system. Beyond control. Beyond reason, his legs wrapped around Tsuzuki's waist to draw him deeper. Tsuzuki's thrusts became more urgent and assaulted that spot again and again. Hisoka moaned in rapture, his own thrusts meeting Tsuzuki's in a frenzy as his head lolled from side to side and called out Tsuzuki's name.

He didn't need to stroke himself for release as his erection between them was assailed with the friction of skin between their bodies. He was blind to the conditions around him. There was nothing else, only Tsuzuki and the desire to reach completion.

Tsuzuki plunged into him, bright and brilliant. His body shaking violently as he thrust inside him. Hisoka locked himself around him, his face pressed against Tsuzuki's neck and repeated his name as that miraculous heat consumed him.


Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. :)