Chapter One Discoveries

Walking into Wolfram and Hart's opulent reception area and watching people scurry like ants after a crumb was something Spike had gotten used to, most of the people had grown accustomed to his popping in from out of nowhere. Some days being a spook had its perks; today had been one of them. Though most of the past few months had been hell, quite literally. He had a grip on it now but sometimes he still felt the hounds of hell trying to pull him in. When nothing on this earth could feel any worse than knowing that she was out there and he couldn't get to her. Her parting words to him had been everything to him, Spike wanted to believe that she meant them, that he had finally won her love along with her respect and trust. Now he might have a chance to find out if having this sotted soul, had been worth all the trouble. Hell, he had saved the world now all Spike wanted was the girl.

Stomping past Harmony's desk despite her protests he gathered up his energy and slammed open the bloody poof's office door. Angel looked up giving him a frown of one definitely pissed off Sire, like he was the one that had anything to be pissed about.

"I will call you back in a few minutes with all the details' Wesley, I have an unwanted intruder." Slamming down the phone Angel stood up glaring at his childe.

"Well, what is it that you want now, more excuses just bitch at me about how, boo-hoo you saved the world and now all you can do is to scare women in the bathroom." Angel stood toe to toe with his childe looking down on his radioactive head.

"Hey that was just the once, not like the chit had anything worth looking at anyway, besides it's not like I can control where I just happen to pop in at times. That's not why I'm here you sodded ass." Why was it that Angel always seemed to make him feel like explaining his actions?

"Then why are you? Today couldn't be the day that they finally dragged you off to hell. Just my luck."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What that you were getting sucked into hell today, sorry must have slipped my mind"

Angel's, patented evil smirk was the final straw, letting all of the rage over the past few months build. Spike, cocked his fist and let it fly, totally catching Angel off guard. He flew back and landed in a heap behind his desk, two steady streams of blood coming from his now broken nose and adding to a rapidly bruising eye.

Spike was standing over Angel half in the desk and half out fists cocked and ready to go again.

"Why didn't you tell me that she was coming back, that she was coming here?" Spike could barely contain his rage and vamped his face.

"Didn't think that it was any of your business, it's not like the two of you were friends or that you meant anything to her, as far as I can see you were just convenient? "

Damn bloody poof always had to look down on him as if he was nothing, it didn't matter to his Sire that Spike the Spook was the one that has just broken his damn nose. It didn't matter to him that Spike had learned to work with and around his present limitations and could help. Hell, it didn't even matter to Angel that Spike had literally fried saving the world along with all of the damned Scoobies. Poofter was just looking up at him now, not even bothering mopping up the blood streaming down his face, that intolerable smirk still shining through. Feeling into his rage again he picked Angel up by his jacket lapels and sends him flying this time into the glass sofa table which exploded in shards. Stalking toward the wanker he let his frustrated words come forth.

"You have no idea what she and I had, you left her, remember, blame yourself if she found someone else, she isn't yours any more Angelus, she never will be again. Angel went and fell in love with Cordelia but Buffy's not allowed to fall in love with anyone. You think I don't know the hours that you spend beside Cordelia's bedside talking to her, trying to get her to wake up, telling her that you love her. What do you think will happen if she ever regains consciousness that she's just going to let you fawn all over Buffy? You can't have them both, Angelus, Buffy's mine, try not forget it this time."

Spike slammed his booted foot into Angel's ribs hearing the satisfied crackle and crunch of bones breaking. Man Spike hoped he punctured a lung and from the wheezing that Angel was doing right now looked like he had done exactly that.

Angel got to his feel coughing up blood, which he spat on the floor. Maintenance was going to have a mess with this one.

"What kind of life do you think she could have with you? You may have a soul now Spike has much as I hate to even think of that, but one you don't even have a body, you think she could have that much of a life with you Casper." To prove his point Angel stuck his hand in Spike's chest where his heart should be and pulled out air. "Why don't you, do like a good ghost and follow the light, I'm going upstairs?" Wheezing all the way to his private elevator, he stepped inside and heard Spike's tormented and whispered words.

"Buffy is my light, she's the only thing that keeps the darkness away.'

Angel finally knew how Spike really felt because Buffy and once also been his light in the darkness of hell, and he knew that it was finally time to let go of not only his childe, but also the woman he had once and probably would always love.

Standing amidst the shattered glass it was all Spike could do not to sob. He hadn't felt this powerless since Buffy had died saving them from Glory. The same feeling overcame him when he thought of living his unlife not being able to look into her face again or to run his fingers down her silken cheek.