Hope you guys like another one for Stan and Kyle. I'm on a role this week! XP
WARNING: KIND OF SORT OF SAD ENDING ALMOST KIND OF
That was the one word that could actually escape Stan Marsh the day of Kyle's departure. But what else could be expected? They had grown up together, from diapers to diplomas. Well, to be fair they still had three years of high school to complete, but it meant the same thing. It was months ago that Kyle had very quietly stated that he was moving; it was in an awkward place in the conversation and Stan had regarded it as a joke. A sick and twisted joke that Kyle would never tell again. However, the silly concept of Kyle forever abandoning Stan had arrived and it was a morbid reality he had to face. Cartman seemed genuinely upset that Kyle was going, ranting on about how he never really thought Kyle was Jew and that he had always respected Kyle secretly. Kenny wanted to laugh at that, but he was also utterly depressed and it took a wrench to tear him from practically sewing himself onto Kyle. No matter the fun times they had with Cartman or Kenny, though, Stan and Kyle had always been Super Best Friends. No one ever got in the way of that. With exception to Stan's long-lost ex-girlfriend, Wendy Testaburger, who after accusing Stan about his undecided feelings for his best friend forced him to break up with her. He had become infuriated at her making fun of him for always treating Kyle more gently and gentlemanly than her. That was only because their relationship was deeper than the average married couple. That was what made the day so terribly painful. They were finally alone; Stan hadn't spoken a word all day. Kyle had been blindly leading him to the top of South Park's biggest hill, a little far off from the back of the school and the wind was combing through Kyle's silky, and calmed tangerine curls.
Stan admired his best friend like an improved Statue of David, he was a magnificent creature. Intelligent and funny, gorgeous and loyal and completely and entirely dedicated to Stan. The ebony-haired boy raked his hand through his hair, looking his friend in the eyes before muttering again, "Fuck."
Kyle could hear the tears edging their way into his voice, making his throat burn with foreboding hysterics. He tried to smile,
"South Carolina isn't…that far…I mean…we could…we could…" He trailed off, looking away as he sat down with a sigh. He held onto his knees in the cute way he always did when he was troubled, it forced an aching but endeared thump of Stan's heart. He sat next to the redhead,
"That's exactly right. There's nothing we can do. Fucking stupid parents make all the fucking stupid decisions; we've got no power, there's nothing we can do."
He saw through his peripheral vision, the pained expression drawn onto Kyle's face. He blamed himself for that momentarily before mimicking Kyle's sigh and looking out onto the very slowly setting sun. It was still fairly high in the sky, but the horizon was bloodied and the sound of moving trucks passing the school, towards Kyle's house, seemed to speed the time. Kyle still did not look Stan's way before mumbling,
"Well then…tell me something you've never told me."
"Tell me a secret, Stan, or something you've been scared to say." He looked to his best friend, his curved brows contradicting his pitiful smile as he finished, "Cause if this is really the last time we'll see each other…I wanna know…that I really knew you…you know what I mean?"
Stan glanced to the boy, but found that it made his chest hurt too much, so he looked back towards the horizon again as he answered, "Yeah. I get you." He glanced to the grass brushing against his waist and shoes, pushed by the slight breeze before telling the boy,
"I don't think…I've ever lied to you, though."
"I know you haven't. I trust you completely, man, that's not the problem. The question isn't for you to tell the truth, or confess to a mistake. I mean…if there was ever something I said that you didn't like, or if there was ever a joke I told that you didn't get or if there was ever a favor you needed from me or a story you didn't tell me or…I don't know…I just want you to tell me more…than I know already. Tell me something about you, Stan."
The athlete smirked, "You know everything already."
"No I don't!" Kyle shot, making Stan cringe momentarily before he continued more calmly, "No…I mean…Stan, you always have something different…you're always teaching me something new…you're always interesting, you're always new…so…tell me something that you forgot to tell me, or something you tried not to tell me…please…"
Stan's eyes closed in hopes of blocking out the pain that was audible in his friend's voice. He thought a long hard moment before answering,
"I…I noticed in the sixth grade…that your shoulders were really broad. You were in gym and doing pull-ups for the fitness testing, you had just run the mile and my class was coming in from the track…and I saw you being tested…you were up to ten or something and I saw all the actual muscle in your…I mean, what I thought was your scrawny arms. It scared me that I could see you growing. I didn't want you to grow, and I didn't want to grow either. But ever since that day, I always considered you a…you know, like a young man…instead of…a boy…"
Kyle smiled sadly again, "That's funny. I watched you run the mile in the seventh grade…I mean, you've always been a little taller and you've always been…well…not as skeletal as I am, but…you just always looked so much more athletic and strong, so I kind of always…considered you…a young man. But when I watched you run the mile…you did it in six minutes flat. Now, I'm on track and I only got a few seconds under your time…so...needless to say, I was pretty fucking impressed. Not that you ever don't impress me. I always underestimate you. Since then, I've always considered you someone I don't give enough credit to for being so fucking awesome."
Stan chuckled, stretching his legs out as he recalled, "Remember when you yelled at my mom in the fifth grade cause she was divorcing my dad? You were my hero for that."
Kyle smiled, "Remember when you wrote that song about me on your guitar?"
"Yeah, I remember that."
"That was fucking sick. I've been your biggest fan since then."
Stan added, "Remember on the hottest day of the year, last year? Remember when you gave me your water bottle and ended up fainting sixth period?"
"Yeah, yeah," Kyle blushed, "I'm the bestest best friend ever. Remember when you put all the Biology frogs in Cartman's locker for making fun of me during Global?"
Stan laughed out, "Yeah! Remember that time you and Wendy were at my football game, and it was when I had my bad knee acting up? Remember when that fucking ass screamed out at me and you punched him in the balls? Do you remember?"
Kyle laughed, letting his arms fall away from his legs as he used them to lean back on and reply,
"Yeah, I remember."
"That was fucking awesome."
Kyle laughed again, "Yeah, but I got kicked out. That douche bag should've kept his ugly mouth shut."
Stan smiled and mentioned, "It's your turn to tell me something."
The redhead simpered, realizing it was turning into something of a game between them as he began,
"Well…out of all our friends, I always considered you the best looking and certainly the best dresser."
Kyle had hoped that his last comment would counteract the first one he made, but the statement could not fool Stan's ears and he repeated,
"Best looking? Really?"
"Yeah." Kyle blushed lightly, "But I've never been jealous of you. I've never felt anything ill towards you, Stan. I think you're the only person I can say that about."
Stan's timid smile spread as he responded softly, "I can say the same about you. Forget your looks and your brains, I've always considered you the most amazing person in Colorado."
He could practically feel Kyle jump out of his skin, "R-really? You mean that?"
"Duh. I can't think of anyone…who means more to me." For the first time in hours, he finally looked Kyle in the eyes, "You think no one ever thinks about you, but, Kye, you're constantly on my mind. It's like…you don't even know how extraordinary you are…I mean, I can…I can…" He looked away as he finished, "I can hardly breathe without you around…"
Kyle wrapped his lanky arms around Stan's shoulders, resting his head on the crook of Stan's neck as he muttered,
"You're the same to me. You're my whole world…without you…without you…I don't know what I'd do…without you, I probably…I probably wouldn't have made it this far…"
The wind was growing a bit stronger as the sky grew a bit darker; it was nearing time for Kyle to take his leave. He would stand up and suggest that Stan walk with him for a while, then Kyle and Stan wouldn't sleep all night and Kyle would be in a truck at five A.M. to leave his best friend forever. Stan knew not only that night would prove sleepless; every night that Kyle was far from him and his heart and his words, there would be no rest for him. He noticed, finally, that Kyle had not let go of him when he was finished with his hug, he had resolved to lean up against Stan and tuck his adorable face against Stan's neck. He cuddled his head against the thick, sunset locks and inhaled the naturally intoxicating fragrance of Kyle, tears now forcing their way to the edge of his eyes as he told his friend,
"I wouldn't have made it without you either." There was a very heavy moment of quiet before Stan added, "Thank you."
The freckled boy stayed silent for a moment before inquiring, "What for?"
"For…being you…for me…for all this time…thank you."
Kyle broke away from Stan, to the quarterback's great disappointment, as he told his friend,
"Thank you too. There's no words…especially 'thank you' that can actually ever express my…my undying gratitude, Stan. There's nothing I can say that will ever…do justice to what I feel when I think of you. All I can do is…thank you…so…thank you."
Stan burst into tears at that, lowering his head, his raven hair covering half of his face as he wept,
"F-Fuck you, Kye."
The Jew tried to chuckle as his own tears began to cascade down his face, planting a hand on Stan's shoulder as he spoke,
"Fuck you too, S-Stan."
Stan looked up, pushing Kyle down to the grass before snapping, "No! F-fuck you, Kye! F-fuck you! Fuck you!"
Stan's fists tightened beside either side of Kyle's waist, his tears leaving a damp spot on Kyle's somewhat sheer, black shirt as he sobbed, "You don't unders-stand! So fuck you! Fuck you, Kye!"
The redhead put a comforting, though shaky, hand in Stan's hair, which regained the boy's attention. Stan's indigo eyes meshed with the breath-taking jade of Kyle's, both fogged by heavy tears as Kyle replied,
"I'll miss you too."
Stan's brows tightened, his cheeks brightening as his entire face was painted an even more desperate sadness before he shot forward and claimed Kyle's lips fiercely. He felt Kyle's dexterous hands reach up to his jaw, their tears combining and falling away like South Park's autumn leaves. Stan tore away with a gasp, trying to regain composure as he tried to confess,
"Kye, for years I've—"
"Don't." Kyle interjected.
Stan's eyes widened; petrified of rejection until Kyle continued tragically, "Please…please don't tell me what I know you're gonna say…cause I wanted to tell you too, I wanted to say it, but if we say it, then it's going to be between us forever, and I'm leaving and we're not gonna see each other and I…I won't be able to cope if I know we…we knew, we established it, so don't. Don't say it, if only for me, Stan, please…"
Stan used the back of his arm to wipe away the remaining waterfalls traveling down his face, standing up over Kyle and offering a hand to help him up. When their hands connected, they were bolted and something had officially, completely changed between the two and their bond had deepened by a thousand leagues. Kyle embraced Stan again, their hands still connected tightly as he pulled away and ordered more than requested, "Walk with me."
Stan nodded and they walked down the empty and slowly darkening streets, hand in hand, until they reached a familiar street light flickering on. They stood under the light for a long while before Kyle told him,
"We should split here."
"But you're house isn't for another three blocks…?"
"I know, but we're three blocks from your house too, so if we split here…it's just…I don't want to know you're alone." The redhead looked at him pleadingly, fresh tears building up as he begged, "Please?"
Stan's throat started burning again as he nodded and took a step back, "Alright. I'll…maybe if you're ever in Colorado…you can write me."
Kyle took a step backwards in sync and wiped away a stray tear before replying, "Yeah, and if you're ever…you know, in South Carolina…you can look me up."
They stood there in the quiet for a long while before Stan hesitantly took his hand back and his fingers ran over his palm, savoring the imprint of heat Kyle's hand left. Stan sighed shakily and finally turned around. Kyle copied him and began walking in the opposite direction; the sun setting behind the houses was painting the sky the shades of red and orange in Kyle's hair and the streets had beautiful shadows and lights that mixed with the off-blue in the street lights that reminded Kyle of Stan's eyes. At the end of the block, their hearts were breaking and they both were possessed to turn around. At making eye-contact they blushed, Kyle smiling weakly and waving awkwardly. Stan glared,
"There's something I forgot to tell you, Kyle."
Kyle's interest was peaked, "Yeah?"
"I love you."
Stan watched as Kyle's face was drained of color and he covered his ears, barking as tears fell down his face, "Why!? Why did you say that!? I told you not to! I told you not to say it and you said it! Why did you say it!? This could be the end of everything and you had to say it!? Why did you say it!?"
"Because you are the single, most amazing person I have and ever will meet, Kye, and I needed you to hear it! It's because when I think about you, I hear music playing and everything I hate about the world goes away and you become everything to me all over again! It's because I love you, Kyle, I do and I want everyone to know! I want you to know!"
The freckled boy looked up to his friend and responded behind sobs,
"Fine, you fuck, I love you! Are you happy? Now that I'm gone forever!? Are you happy to hear it!?"
Stan beamed despite his eyes releasing the hot tears again, "Yes, I am! Kye, you're gonna call me every night and I'm gonna write you every day and every vacation you're gonna come here or I'll go to you and when I get money and I get a car, I'm taking you away with me and we're gonna…I don't know yet, but we're gonna get away and I'm…I'm gonna kiss you again, and it's gonna be better and it's gonna be bigger and…and you're gonna love me, Kye, more than anyone and anything and I'm gonna love you the same way for the rest of my life, no matter how far you are! Okay? I'm gonna love you forever!"
The Jew smiled behind the tears, "I will, Stan, I promise, I'll do all the same and…and I'll love you forever too, Stan, I promise it…it'll be you and me forever…no matter where or when…I'll always love you."
Stan began walking backwards, "Then we've got no reason to be sad, Kye. Cause I'm gonna talk to you tomorrow…and I'll write to you after school…and I'll start looking for a part-time job so I can take Driver's Ed by next year and…"
There was a long pause before Stan eventually finished, "And thank you, Kyle."
Kyle beamed, laughing out huffs of tears as he called back, "And thank you, Stan. Thank you."
They walked the rest of the two blocks backwards, looking to each other the entire way until they finally made it to their doors and they were just two silhouettes to each other. Through the darkness of the setting sun and the ocean shadows that danced along the streets and through the houses, one truth shined brighter than any star in the sky that night. It was as breath-taking as Kyle's emerald irises and as heart-warming as the chords Stan struck on his guitar; it was stronger than Kyle's punch and more charming than Stan's laughter that still resonated through Kyle's head. It was something that could not be expressed by words alone and the only evidence that something so beautiful ever existed were the genuine tears, thumping and breaking hearts and sincere smiles of two best friends.