A/N: I own nothing. Not Harry, Not Twilight, Not Taylor Swift, nothing!
One night the incredibly zesty Edward Cullen was walking in the rain.
Then a mysterious old man came out of the blue and yelled "PUDDING IS THE RULER OF THE WORLD!!" " Yo, dude that wiggiey wiggidy wack!" a gansta Emmett said. "Hey dude, do you have some kind of problem with pudding or what?!" said the mysterious old man. "No way cause milk is for shizz," said Alice. The old man walked up to Alice and looked at her in the eye and whispered, "You will have the pudding curse for 10 decades." "We must defeat the pudding curse! To Hoggy-warts!" Bella said, brandishing a stick as a wand. But before they could run, the mysterious old man yelled, "Eat pudding." and threw pudding in Edward's face. The funny thing about that is that Edward is allergic to pudding and he ran off in terror screaming like a little girl saying, "MOMMY!!" "NOOOOOOOOO, MY LOVE, MY LOVE!!" Bella shouted. "Maybe we should kiss to ease the tension," Jasper said to Alice. Then, promptly engaging her in a French kiss. So as the story goes, Jasper and Alice broke-up and got married 2 days after that incident. Bella meanwhile, made it to Hogwarts safely (surprise, surprise). Then she saw Harry and said "Harry Potter you must help me save…" He cut her off saying "A lot of people ask me that and no." "But… but this is about Edward!!" "Who the heck is this Edward you speak of?" said Harry. "He is a vampire and….." Her cut her off again saying, "No! He must be hideous!" "Well…" said Bella trying to think of the right words. "He is like a combination of all the gods but like, way hotter." She concluded. Suddenly Ron popped up from underneath Harry. "Oh, I under stand It's true love Harry. Twwe wove." "Oh don't give me the bubkiss Ronald," said Harry. "You just don't want help her because you will not get the girl after," said Ron. "Ron?" asked Harry. "Yes" "Did you leave your brain in your locker again?" "No Harry, I left it in that room with the brains from book 5," he replied with gusto. Then promptly went back to looking around by Harry's pants. "Ok you all are just plain weird and wrong. I AM LEAVING!! GOOD BYE HARRY PEETER!!" said Bella. She slapped Harry across the face and stomped away and fell flat on her face. Meanwhile…..
In Forks a mysterious guy appeared with a big old stick. He looked a lot like Lord Moldy-wart or what ever his name is. "Would you kids like some candy?" he said. "WHAT AGE DO YOU THINK WE ARE? 5 OR SOMETHING? I THINK WE KNOW BETTER THEN TO TAKE CANDY FROM RANDOM STRANGERS IN UNGLY ROBES!" said Emmett. "What if I take off the robe, then will you eat the candy?" Lord Moldy-wart asked. "NO YOU DUMB BUTT!" yelled Emmett. "That was really pathetic Emmett!" Rosalie shouted. "You wanna go old man?" Emmett taunted. All of the sudden Emmett's giant mass of muscle was reduced to a cringing little thing. "Well at least I don't have big bushy eye brows like you." Emmett debated. "Two words, Great Comeback." Rosalie said sarcastically. Meanwhile….
"Let's sing a song!" Ron shouted! In a rush Neville burst into the room screaming "Voldemort's attacking a small rainy town in the U.S.A!"
"Hoggwarts in the best!
Hogwarts is the bets!
It's where we learn magic
And tap dancing
Ron was cut off in his off key-singing. "Apparently they don't teach singing," said Harry. "Oh like I'm the only one that sing off key in this room." Ron pointed out. "Well at least I have a girlfriend." Harry said. "Who? Your mom?" Ron laughed. "No your sister, you retard!" Harry retorted. "But… but…I thought we had something special Harry," Ron whimpered. "You were gay!?" said Neville in shock. "That's what you call it when a boy is dating another boy?" Ron asked, "I never knew that there was a word for that." "Well there is Ron and we are not gay," Harry pointed out, "well at least I'm not." "Song time!" Ron shouted
I really hate that stupid old pickup truck you never let me drive
You're a redneck heart breaker who's really bad a lyin'
So watch me strike a match with all my wasted time
You're just another picture to burn
Yeah burn, burn, burn, baby, burn…
"Okay, that's enough Ronald," Harry said sternly. "But I thought you were dating Taylor Swift?" "No. Ronald, how many times do I have to go over this with you?" "Go over what?" asked Ron puzzled. Harry slaps his hand on his forehead and then pushes Ron out the window. Luckily for Ron he landed on the sprinklers in the rose bushes. "You want some flowers for your date?" he asked from below. Meanwhile……
Alice and Jasper were having fun when….
Emmett was arm wrestling with Rosalie when….
Edward was hiding in shame when……
Bella was on a plane when…….
Ron and Harry were having a moment when….
Voldemort was having a spaz attack when…
The World Blew UP!!
They all died,
Went to Hell.
The not-so-happy end.
A/N: Yeah, it's like midnight and my and my BFF (the name has been disclosed let's call this person Non-Book-Reader or NBR) Have spent the last 3 hours writing a sentence each at a time so you better review!