READ IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE:
A/N: This is a better and redone version of the one-shot. This is A LOT more angsty, and has a mildly suicidal Percy. Along with that, Annabeth may seem like a bitch, but I do not hate Annabeth. She is my favorite character aside from Thalia. Also, this has a happier ending. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not nor will I ever own the Percy Jackson and the Olympians book series. If I did it would be by me not Rick Riordan.
In the rain
He was there, outside the borders, watching, waiting, hoping that she would come up on the hill and just call him an idiot. He may hate it when she insults him, but at least she would've said something to him. She won't come back, she left him… Why?
There's rain, pouring rain that stings his tanned skin. He is numb except for the gapping hole in his chest. He feels no sting on his skin, but in his now fragile and broken heart.
Why was he out there? For himself? No, never, it was always for her, it always was for her never anything else.
The rain stings, it hurts where he can feel it, but it has helped to wash away all of his thoughts about her… The water makes him stronger, but she always made him invincible.
He's fighting for her, not the gods, not his mother, not for Thalia, or Chiron, or even Grover. He has always fought for Annabeth, his Annabeth. But she is in love with that jerk, that ass. He can't come back, he won't.
He's gone…The old Luke that was there is now dead and gone… Leave it be. He chose his path, now you choose yours.
But yet she can't let go. He wants her to want him but she won't or maybe… she can't. Aphrodite said it would be painful, sure all love is, but never, never this pain. These fragile pains that can make you feel so… wonderful? No:
But then there is the other pain, the searing, horrible heart broken pain that rips through him ever waking moment since she told him, that horrid and obviously painful prophecy.
To lose a love too worse then death…
It ran through his head, haunting him. Hadn't he been gone too? Had she even considered the fact that it could be him? No, she only has eyes for that bastard. But, he was gone… She had thought he was dead… Would that count? You never know… Prophecies are never clear…
Yet he stands there… In the searing rain now beating on every part of his body it can reach. He lets out a sigh and tries to let all his troubles flow away.
Finally, he opens his mouth for a different reason.
"I need you, I want you, and you can't even see that…" He whispered.
The pain, it hurts, but there is something is still there.
Hoping, wishing, and praying for crying out loud. He needs to feel safe, warm, loved but she won't be there, and she isn't there. The day she got the prophecy, he was there, holding her, telling her it would be all right not Luke. He did this to her, and now he will pay.
Everything that they went through was because he betrayed them. Maybe he just wanted attention because he wasn't loved as a child by his mom or dad, but now he's not loved at all. The thoughts of him are bitter and horrible. In her head though, she sees hope that no one else sees and maybe it's for a good reason, maybe it's because there is none there. She tries, and tries and tries, but for what? Is it because it makes her feel like she hasn't failed because she has? He knows now…
She can't cut this loss. Why? No one knows what goes on in her head and heart everyday… He thought he knew, he thought he knew her… But now what?
Another sigh escapes his throat as he pictures her smile, the happy warm smile he saw everyday before the day he pushed the prophecy out of her. He now knows it would've been better if he wouldn't have pried it out of her. Some things are better left unsaid, but he had to know. He needed to know. Then again, the term what you don't know won't hurt you fits in ironically well here.
He closes his eyes and picks his face up to the stars. He thinks, and thinks until his head hurts.
He's wet, cold, and broken.
In his mind he finds a way, a way that will always make him remotely happy, even if it doesn't heal the shattered feeling in his empty chest. He decides, that just being her friend is better then losing her permanently. Maybe, just maybe, it won't be so bad…
But… Maybe it will.
She is his forbidden fruit. She is his temptation… He loves her… He knows this now, but this is also forbidden…
You will never have her… You are unworthy of happiness. You make people happy, not the other way around. Go play little soldier boy because you have nothing left for you. Grover's gone, Thalia has the hunters, you mom has Paul, and Annabeth wants nothing to do with you. No one cares about you… You're all alone.
The voices in his head ring out. His greatest fears exposed. Everything he has put away is now back on the table. He feels something warm drip down his face. He realizes what they are.
His soul is breaking and he doesn't know how much more he can take. Some days, like today, he feels like taking out his trusted sword and ending his life. But yet he refuses to give in… He will live and fight for what he believes in. He is strong and fierce and he knows people care about him, so why can't she.
He again is starting to feel better, refusing to let his mood fall away again; he gives a broken smile and pulls his head to the gods. He is starting to be at peace. She cares, he assures himself she does.
He smiles again… Just as broken, just as small, but more then happy.
As he is smiling, he hears steps, light smooth steps. He knows them. They are hers and hers alone.
She came back…
And yet, he doesn't look, he doesn't breathe, he stands there, eyes closed, head back, arms spread, in the rain. He feels her arms wrap around from behind him, hugging his waist. With a trace of a smile still lining his face, he lets himself fall into the safety of her waiting arms and the still, welcoming silence of darkness.
Waiting, wishing, hoping, it finally paid off.