A/N: Welcome! In case you don't know me, I'm WhirledPeace and I make shit up! I don't own these characters, or else the Naruto series might just end with a giant explosion and a Deidara tribute.
Deidara lay on his bed, staring up at his ceiling. He was glad the house let him put posters up, or else he was sure he'd go more nuts than he already was being trapped in this little white prison. Many posters of birds and explosions covered his walls, all except one piece of lined paper taped to the middle of his ceiling. The paper read, in scrawled handwriting, 'Hello! My name is Deidara! I was born on January, 21. Please take good care of me!'. His bed was on the far end of the boxlike room, the window right by it. A small dresser on the other side by the door completed his small room, giving him the space of about five square feet to breath. But what little floor space there was, happened to be strewn about with his clothes, which he was too lazy to hang up.
Deidara, though, was not interested in his room right now. He was interested with who was on the other end of the phone he was talking on. "What was that, Sasori-danna?" he asked, suddenly sitting up.
"I said that I want to break up," Sasori repeated.
"Why?" asked Deidara, his eyes wide.
"It's just too much for me to handle right now. I'm going through a lot of stress at home right now, and- I just don't want to deal with this troublesome relationship anymore."
"You can't be serious! We go steady for what, a year? And now it's all over just because you're bored?"
"Seems that way, doesn't it?"
"You're such an ass, un. Do you have your eye on someone else?"
"Nah, I just don't think I want this screwed up relationship anymore. Bye." Sasori hung up. Deidara stared at the phone in his hand and then, without knocking, his only semi-friend on the house barged in.
"Get dumped, blondie?" she teased. Deidara threw the phone at her. Ino ducked and laughed. "I'll take that as a yes. Any particular reason why?"
"He's under too much stress, un. Complete bullshit, yeah," Deidara sighed, laying down on his bed. Ino leaned on the doorway.
"You didn't tell him about. . ." she trailed off and gestured at Deidara's stomach. Deidara gave her a glare that could melt bricks.
"Of course not, yeah. I'm not stupid. You only know because you were there at the doctor's because you had diarrhea." Ino made a face.
"Right. And I won't tell if you won't tell." She grinned again. "So you're single now?"
"No! Hell no! Fuck no! Plain no!" Deidara screamed. "You cannot set me up with a pity date with one of your whiney friends! I'm gay!" Ino pouted.
"Please? It would make TenTen feel so much-"
"I don't give a fuck what would make TenTen feel better, hmm! She's a Sophomore, I'm a senior!"
"So?! That's just wrong! I will not go on a pity date! Now get out of my room!" Deidara looked around for anything else he could throw at her. Ino finally noticed he was serious and left without another word. Deidara sighed, rolling so his back was to the door. 'Just fucking beautiful.' he thought to himself.
Ino was like a sister, because neither of them had any family. Well, Ino had a dick of a dad and a slut of a mom who sometimes visited, but that was different. Deidara had been found at a bus stop with a simple note proclaiming his name and birthday. But Ino was the closest thing he had to family, because she also knew his secret.
Deidara woke up the next morning and wished he hadn't. He then caught sight of his clock and leapt out of bed, grabbing a shirt and fishnet, slipping into them. He then stripped off his boxers and picked up a pair he hoped were clean. After also slipping into a pair of skinny black jeans, he grabbed his backpack and ran out of the room, down the creaky old stairs and out of the house. He just barely missed the bus, but luckily someone stopped it for him. "Thanks," Deidara muttered as he stepped onto the bus.
"No problem, Deidara-san," the person said. Deidara jumped and whirled around, before he recognized Tobi, from his math class.
"Oh, I didn't recognize you," Deidara mumbled, shuffling down the aisle and to a seat. Tobi followed him.
"Do you mind if I sit with you?" Tobi asked. Deidara shrugged, staring moodily out the window. "I'm not used to riding the bus," Tobi admitted, trying to start a conversation. Deidara merely nodded, continuing his staring. Why did Sasori-danna have to break it off? Weren't things going fine? They had seemed fine to Deidara, the redhead had even said so last week. So what brought on this sudden change? Tobi coughed. Deidara turned slowly to him.
"I asked if you took this bus regularly."
"Oh, yeah, un. Every day," Deidara replied vaguely. Tobi nodded, and they were silent for the rest of the ride.
Once the bus stopped, Deidara flew off it and ran to class. He had a bone to pick with Sasori. Luckily Deidara caught him in the hallway. "Hey! Sasori!" he cried, marching up to the redhead. Sasori raised a carefully sculpted red eyebrow.
"What do you want, Deidara-san?" he asked emotionlessly.
"What the fuck is with you calling me last night like that, un?"
"Calm down, Deidara. It's not that big of a deal. We never had anything special in the first place."
"What the fuck? It wasn't special to who?" Deidara demanded. Sasori sighed.
"Can't we be mature about this? I know it's hard for you, but you have to act like a grown up. I'm sick of this relationship, so I end it. End of story."
"Who's being immature now, un?"
"Deidara, it's over, that's final." Sasori turned and began to walk off.
"Fine, be an ass," Deidara muttered, walking off in the opposite direction.
Deidara had somewhat of a group. It was mostly headed by a redheaded boy named Pein, who kept mostly to himself. Then there were the gay twins, Konan and Kisame. Kisame was loud, Konan was quiet, but they both had blue hair. Of course, no group of friends could be complete without the Satanist zealot who tried to convert everyone he saw. Hidan filled this spot for the group, and also filled the person who swears too much spot. Finally, the last member who still attended high school, the triple A (arrogant apathetic ass) Itachi. The last member, Kakuzu, didn't attend high school anymore, for he had graduated last year.
It was to this group Deidara slipped away to once the bell for lunch rang. He found them by the back of the school, all sitting against a wall. Slipint between Konan and Kisame, Deidara sighed. His group was never without chaos and confusion, and lots of noise. "I'm a fucking athiest! Get out of my face!" Kisame cried, batting Hidan away.
"Satan will take even your soul!"
"I don't have a fucking soul!" Kisame shouted.
"Exactly!" Hidan screeched. Kisame threw his hands in the air, nearly whacking Deidara in the head.
"Oh, sorry Dei, didn't see you," Kisame grinned, ruffling Deidara's hair. Suddenly, Hidan found new prey.
"Dei! You look sad!" he cried, pushing Kisame over to crouch in front of the blond. "Satan won't care about your problems, but he'll-"
"Shut it, Hidan. I'm not in the mood," Deidara mumbled.
"Aw, Blondie, what's wrong?" Hidan smirked. Deidara rolled his eyes.
"Not like you care, un," he muttered.
"Of course I don't care! But Kisame, Konan, and Pein all look pretty interested," Hidan replied.
"I got dumped, hmm," Deidara said, looking down. Hidan laughed, Pein decided he didn't care, and Konan nudged Kisame and Kisame gave Deidara a big bear hug.
"Aw! Poor Dei!" he cried.
"Need. . .oxygen. . ." Deidara mouthed to Hidan. Hidan ignored him. Kisame let go.
"It's what you get for dating an emotionless bastard," Hidan said, shaking his head.
"I was dating an emotionless bastard, un? Last time I checked, it was you who was with Kakuzu," Deidara snapped.
"Say that again, Blondie!" Hidan growled, narrowing his eyes. Deidara smirked.
"You're dating a dickless bastard, un, who-" Hidan threw the expected punch. Deidara caught it in his fist, and in a flash they were both standing. Oh yeah, this was what Deidara needed, a good fist fight.
Tobi sat against the fence with two bags of chips. He didn't see his Sempai, but he knew Zetsu would soon meet him there. And soon enough his schizophrenic, bipolar, friend appeared by his side. "Good afternoon, Sempai," Zetsu said nothing. Tobi handed him a bag of chips. Zetsu smiled and opened it.
"How are you today, Tobi?" he asked kindly.
"Oh, a little sad, Sempai," Tobi admitted.
"Yes, you know Deidara-san?"
"Oh, him. . ."
"Yeah, well, he ignores me. I want to be friends with him, maybe even more, but he won't even look at me!" Zetsu sighed.
"Have you tried talking to him? You know he can't just read your mind."
"Yes, we're going to be taking the bus together as long as my dad's car is in the shop. And he barely said a single word to me!"
"That would be because of his recent breakup," Zetsu said softly. Tobi's eyes widened.
"How do you know that?" he asked. "I wasn't aware Deidara was seeing anyone!" Zetsu shook his head slowly.
"I just know. He was seeing Akasuna Sasori, until what seems as last night. It is not surprising Deidara does not wish to converse with you." Tobi was always amazed with Zetsu's knowledge. Zetsu didn't sense Tobi's curiosity and began to occupy himself with eating the chips.
"So how do you think I should approach him?" Tobi finally asked. Zetsu shrugged.
"Do I look like I know everything?"
Deidara lay, half awake, feeling sick, at Kisame's feet. It was just Deidara and the twins that day, Hidan had claimed today a satanic holiday, Pein was off on mysterious business, and Itachi said he would be late. As usual, when Kisame was left in the presence of two feminine people, he felt the need to talk. And today, he was asking advice on crushes.
". . . so, anyway, what would you do?" Kisame finally finished. Deidara mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'toothpaste' and rolled over. Kisame sighed.
"Why are you asking?" Konan spoke. Deidara glanced over his shoulder at her, surprised she was actually talking.
"Oh, um. . ." Kisame rubbed the back of his head. "A friend of mine is wondering!" the answer was too eager to be true. Kisame was an awful liar.
"This friend of yours, does he happen to like another one of our friends, un?" Deidara asked.
"Uh. . .maybe. . .but that's not the point," Kisame replied defensively.
"I'd say go for it, hmm. Not much to loose." Deidara rolled over again.
"Easy for you to say, you've never had a crush on anybody!" Kisame shot.
"Oh yeah? I had a crush on some guy named Garrett in third grade!"
"And what happened to him?"
"Uh. . . I can't remember," Deidara admitted, blinking slowly. "I think he moved. . ."
"See? It's not the same!"
"So just tell your 'friend' to ask him out, because I'm tired of hearing you bitch," Deidara sighed, rolling over on his other side. Kisame was about to retort with something, when a familiar car screeched to a halt outside the school and a familiar man got out, dragging a familiar teen.
"I swear, Hidan, if you skip school one more time you're going to get expelled," Kakuzu was saying.
"It's not your damn business!" Hidan cried, trying to pry Kakuzu's vice like grip from his arm. Kakuzu snarled, and threw Hidan on to campus.
"I'll pick you up after school, so you better be here," Kakuzu growled and stomped off. Hidan stood up, rubbing his arm. He then walked over to the small group, sulking moodily.
"What happened?" Kisame asked.
"I tried to skip school, but Kakuzu found out and brought me in," Hidan muttered. Kakuzu was extremely sensitive about skipping school. He had a little brother named Obito who dropped out of school and became a crack addict, and he was worried that Hidan, or any of the others in the group, would end up like him.
"You should know better," Kisame chastised.
"I didn't want to go to school today," Hidan complained. It was then that Itachi also showed up. All eyes turned to him, only because he was exhibiting emotions. "What crawled up your ass and died?" Hidan asked.
"Uzumaki. . ." he growled. "Some freshman named Uzumaki made a move on my brother!"
"What?" cried Kisame. Itachi glared.
"Uzumaki? That sounds familiar. . ." Deidara squinted, trying to remember where he'd heard the name.
"Tobi Uzumaki," Konan said. "He's in our grade."
"How do you know all of this, stalker?" Hidan asked. Konan shook her head. Konan shrugged, not replying.
"So what did your brother do?" Kisame asked Itachi.
"That's the worst part," Itachi groaned. "Sasuke said yes!" Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan all gasped. Uchiha Sasuke was almost as emotionless and heartless as his older brother. And just like Itachi, there were a few theories he was asexual.
"You're kidding!" cried Kisame.
"Come on, you're not serious, un," Deidara added.
"I am. They're going out this Friday," Itachi replied, head falling into his hands.
"Don't worry, Itachi! Just let your brother have some fun!" Kisame said.
"But tonight I have to call my parents, and I'll be the one to tell them, not him," Itachi sighed. Itachi's parents were often abroad, their company took them everywhere. Right now they were somewhere in America. Itachi was left to raise his brother on his own most of the time, and that was probably why Sasuke had turned out like Itachi.
"It can't be that bad," Hidan said.
"My parents will want to know every detail they possibly can about this Uzumaki Naruto, and they're going to expect me to know it."
"Why don't you convert to-"
"Shut up, Hidan!" everyone screamed in unison.
"May your souls be damned to heaven," he muttered.
A/N: Ok, look out for the next chapter! I reuse a villain from 'Read My Mind', and let's see if you can guess who it is! I want five reviews before I post the next chapter. Thank you for reading!