Eilidh Brown was created by Simon Barnes.


Daniel Kattrell walked down the alley, happy as Larry.

He had just asked Cathy Denver to marry him – and she had made his night by saying yes. They were getting married in less than three weeks. His mother had pressed his best tuxedo ready for it, and his father was already talking about venues. Oh - but that didn't matter. All that mattered was that she and he were in love, and would have a long, happy life together...


He spun on his heel. The alley was dark and shadowy, but he couldn't see any clear figures.

"Who's there?" he asked. He was always rather jittery, he thought to himself. He calmed down and turned to go on. A tramp or a stray, he told himself confidently.

And fell to the ground unconscious as the stun laser hit him.

"Take the specimen to base," one of the two tall figures said. "Our legions must grow."

"No," Jack said in disbelief.

"Yep," the Doctor smiled. "Believe it or not, it's the truth."

They were both staring at the scanner screen, Jack with an expression of happiness, the Doctor an expression of quiet triumph. Jack was wearing his usual long RAF coat and the Doctor was wearing his blue suit, with a dark red shirt and matching tie.

"Mornin," came a voice from one of the other doors - Eilidh Brown walked into the room, in her dressing gown, yawning slightly. "Where are we this time? Planet Zog? The home world of some nasty evil alien monster? The restaurant at the end of the universe?"

"Boeshane peninsula!" the Doctor said, happily. "A lovely little place on a colony world. Absolutely marvellous - and the home of one Mr Captain Jack Harkness!!"

Eilidh looked from the Doctor's smiling face to Jacks' ecstatic one, trying to decider if they were joking - Jack wasn't even looking at her, he was staring at the screen.

"Home," he said. "My home..."

"I thought I'd show you a bit of its future," the Doctor continued. "This is the fifty second century - I don't know if much has changed since your time but..."

"It doesn't matter," Jack said, smiling. "As long as it's my home, I'm happy to see it."

"Then let's go out for a wander!" the Doctor said, grabbing his coat. Before he could say anything else, Jack was out of the door.

"You took us to his home?" Eilidh asked.

"Yes," the Doctor said. "After all he's done for us, I figured he deserved a break - and this should be nice for him, he's been through a lot since he was last here."

"Will they all be like him?" she queried, tentatively.

"He's a product of his time - so yes, they'll be a little like him, yes."

The Doctor smiled at her, and flicked a couple of switches on the console.

"Great," Eilidh said through a fake smile. "Planet of the flirty pound shop Tom Cruises."

She wandered off to find some clothes, and the Doctor was laughing.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"That's good that - never thought of that," he laughed. "Jack - the pound shop Tom Cruise..."

"Excuse me?" Jack grinned in mock outrage. At some point he'd come back in, and was staring at the two of them with a fake frown and a grin on his face. "He's the pound shop guy, thank you!"

After a while, they'd left the TARDIS. They walked down a relatively crowded high street - or at least, what Eilidh thought was a high street. It was all made from some sort of sandstone, and everyone was wearing the full Tatooine.

"It's not how I remember it," Jack said.

"Well, it's been a while," the Doctor replied, "doubtless things will have changed. For a start, the Earth Security forces dealt with - well, they dealt with your problem - a while back, and assigned a permanent garrison here..."

As he spoke, three men in white space-armour walked by, carrying exotic laser guns. They nodded at the time travellers in greeting.

"They look like Stormtroopers," Eilidh pointed out.

"Everything in the future is inspired by pop-culture," Jack replied. "You'd be surprised how many Starships look like something out of Blakes Seven."

"Or Babylon five," the Doctor added. "All the designs are inspired by old stuff."

"That's a bit silly," Eilidh commented.

"Not really," the Doctor countered. "Think of your time - how many things are inspired by Knights, and how many TV shows by ancient history? Think about Troy!"

"Yeah, that's fiction," Eilidh said. "This is reality - and they really look like Stormtroopers."

"Clone Troopers in Mark Two armour, actually," Jack replied instantly. The other two looked at him, and he blushed slightly.

"You watched a lot of Star Wars while you were on Earth didn't you?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, yeah..." Jack said, "plus I did really, really well on Battlefront Two..."
Eilidh laughed.

"You are such a bloke!" she laughed. "I mean, video games?"

"Hey, I'll have you know I was really good at Battlefront - I beat Owen nine times out of ten at Conquest, and I've never lost a capture the flag..."

The Doctor sighed, and wandered off slightly, leaving them to their arguments over Star Wars. He wandered down a side alley, and looked around.


He spun on his heel, and looked around. There was nobody there. He took out his sonic screwdriver, and held it up, as if to ward off any hostiles.

Doesn't kill, doesn't wound, doesn't maim. His own words ran though his head. Here he was, holding the super technological equivalent of a lock pick up as if it were a weapon.

Clang, again. He held the sonic up higher.

"Who's there?" he called. Nobody answered. "Who's there?!" he yelled.

A tall, dark figure stepped out, and walked towards him...