A new endeavor. Being written by jandco and withthevampsofcourse.

This is dedicated to smellyia, giveusakiss413, and gallantcorkscrews.

We discovered that we're all facking brilliant.

And please... be warned. This is not SM's twilight.

It's a bit darker, grittier. Hornier.


twilight is not ours.


"Oh, hello, Edward!"

"Hello, Mrs. Hale," I murmured. She eyed me appreciatively. Rosalie's Mom was the hottest MILF in town. We'd all taken a peek at her in that big front window of the pilates studio, stretching out her tanned limbs. There was no doubt as to where her daughter's genetics came from.

"Rosalie and Alice are upstairs. You know the way, I'm sure." I could feel her eyes follow me as I trailed my lithe fingers up the smooth, polished banister. One of these days, Mrs. Hale. I'll add you to my list. First, your daughter.

I pushed the door open without knocking. Rose was sitting on the floor next to the foot of her large, canopied bed, her long legs- a legacy from her mother- crossed neatly. She was leaning back into Alice's touch- getting her long, blonde locks finger-combed as Alice bent down, whispering to her conspiratorially. The two looked up simultaneously as I silently shut the door behind me.

"Edward," they purred in unison, a sultry inflection in their voices, letting me know something was up.

"Ladies," I replied, crossing my arms and leaning back on the door. No way after all of these years they'd give in. I had been trying for the last year or so to get them to double team me. No such luck. Even getting them plowed with liquor at one of Emmett's infamous debaucheries couldn't get me into that elite club. These two were the best pieces of ass at Forks High; or so I assumed. They never let me in, not once. Aside from silly, drunken fumblings in closets during parties spread out since junior high, I had never gotten so much as a finger inside either of the two.

But this is my year. School started tomorrow, and I had plans, dammit. I will not be denied. I can have any girl at that school; I want one or both of these two.

"So, have you seen the new girl yet?" Rose asked, laying her head in Alice's lap. Alice continued playing with the ends of Rosalie's hair, a wry grin lighting up her face. Alice was the cuter of the two; Rosalie was the one exuding sex out of every pore. Two opposite ends of the girl spectrum; it was a wonder that they had been best friends since the sixth grade.

"The Swan Progeny? Nope. If she looks anything like her father, I feel sorry for her," I scoffed, walking over to the desk where Rose's expensive and unused computer sat. I straddled the chair backwards, leaning forward so that my long legs could get comfortable. Rosalie sighed; I know it was little things like this that really got her. She couldn't resist me; I had seen her shoot me looks of lust for the last eight years of our being friends; I still couldn't figure out why she was fucking holding out. Just give the pussy up and let me move on, shit.

Alice giggled. "I met her. She's wholesome."

"Yeah. She'll fit right in with us," Rose snickered. Such a bitch. So hot.

"Come on, Rose. We're going to be friends with her, riiiight?" Alice giggled. I loved how girly she was. So full of life. I bet she was a tiger in the sack. An exuberant fuck.

"So, Forks Fuck Bunnies. To what do I owe this meeting?" I asked, affecting a bored tone. They had mysteriously texted me this morning with the vague We need to talk lighting up my dark room. My curiosity was certainly piqued. "I have practice in an hour; let's make it good."

"We have a proposition for you-" Alice started.

"-a bet-" continued Rose.

"-that we think you'd really enjoy." Alice was practically bouncing; I watched the tremor pass through her body, thoroughly enjoying the perky nipples she had on display. Fuck, what were they planning? They were both practically jumping out of their skins.

"Hmm," I said, trying to sound bored. In reality, I felt a buzz go through my body. These two were never up to any good. If the adults of our high school knew just how many pranks and situations these two were the cause of throughout the years, they'd collectively shit. But no; not Alice Brandon, Volunteer Coordinator and Straight A Hale. With Alice's sweet temperament and Rosalie's intimidating stature, the two ruled that high school. No student dared defy them, and no adult could say No.

Neither could the boys.

I was still waiting for my turn.

"Well?" demanded Rose. Not the most patient of people, I knew that if I simply sat here and looked like I was already over it that she'd just fucking talk. I can be patient. I drummed my fingers absently on her desk, my chin resting in my other palm. Man, did that piss her off.

"Do you want to know about our cryptic text or not?" she continued. She was sitting up now, her back erect and breasts jutting out. Mm. Just where I wanted her. They can play all the games they want as long as I get something out of it. A nice view of her tits in a white top? Fuckin'-A. I'll take it.

Alice ran her fingers through Rose's hair again, instantly calming her down. I watched with hooded eyes as Rose lowered her lids, subconsciously leaning in to Alice's touch. Fuck me. How can something so simple be so fucking erotic? Their years of knowing each other- knowing what calmed the other down- was hot.

"Okay. Sure. What's up?" I said, throwing them a bone. I'd like to throw them both a bone. Simultaneously.

"Like we said, we have a proposition for you," Alice said, looking down at Rose for permission to continue. Rosalie nodded, and Alice continued.

"It's about the Swan chit," she said. She got up on her knees and crawled backwards a bit until she was laying down, resting her chin on Rose's shoulder. The two turned into each other's faces and grinned before turning back to look into my eyes. Their proximity was making my breathing pick up. Fuck. They had the same porcelain complexion, one with dark, almost black hair touching the honey blonde of the other. Alice wrapped her arms around Rosalie before continuing.

"The daughter of the chief of police cannot be infiltrated," Alice said, her proclamation punctuated with a nod of her head. Rose gave a sneaky smile; I already knew where this was going.

"I have no wish to do the new girl," I said, a bored tone entering my voice. Shit, ladies. Give me a challenge of some sort. That Lauren chick had bugged me for like, two weeks afterward. I am not interested in inducting another member into the "Do Me Again, Edward" Fan Club.

"Edward. Like we'd be so boring," Rosalie said, her condescending tone making my skin tingle. God, she's such a cunt. I love it.

"What's in it for me?" I asked, desperate to sound unaffected. Please, please. Let this be what I hope it is.

"Well. What if we made your fondest wish come true?" Alice was stroking Rosalie's shoulders, and she leaned down, whispering into Rose's ear. Her arms encircled around, and I couldn't help it. My eyes widened slightly as I saw Alice palm Rosalie's breast before ending in a hug. The two turned as one toward me, both grinning. They had me, and they knew it.

"Okay, Cullen. Let's talk turkey, because I'm already bored. You nail the Swan girl, and you get to fuck us. Both. Same. Time. Interested?" Rosalie Hale always did have a way with words. She was, after all, the reigning champion of Washington State's Extemporaneous Speaking Contest.

I cleared my throat. "How can I be sure you two will…. Seal the deal? I don't want to put my dick somewhere I have no wish of going near if I don't get what I want out of it," I said, standing up, pretending to get ready to go. In reality, I desperately needed to rub one out. Shit. Just the thought of the two of those pieces of ass naked and writhing was giving me a mean hard-on. And they knew it. Damn.

"Edward, please. I am a woman of my word. As is Alice. Do you really doubt that we want to, anyway?" said Rose, getting up and crawling next to Alice on the bed. Shit. She leaned down, whispering into Alice's ear. Alice kept eye contact, biting her lip and leaning to the side to allow Rose better access. Fuck. I need to go.

"Yeah, whatever. It'll be a challenge. From what I hear, Newton tried to get on that shit and the Chief caught him making a move and kicked his ass off his porch. This'll remind me of that time I tried to sneak that Special K from the hospital under Carlisle's nose. This time I'll get to hit that shit, though," I said, trying to subtly adjust myself as I made my way to the door.

"Ladies. I really must be going. Usual time and place?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant. We always met up with Emmett and Jasper for post-practice drinking/smoking/fucking/whatever. Tomorrow being the first day of school, I knew we'd all need the release. Especially me. Hopefully someone would be there to help me relieve this unbearable tension.

"Bye, Edward," they sang, their voices trilling in unison. Yes. I cannot wait to make them sing in tandem again.

This Swan broad had better not be too fucking uptight. I gave it two, three weeks tops.

Totally worth it.

Rosalie Hale and Alice Brandon. I would be branded a fucking legend. And a Fucking Legend.


"Dude. What is with you today?" Jasper was nudging me with his elbow. As Captain of the Soccer Team, he always felt like it was his fucking business to ask me shit like that.

"Prick. They don't call me the Star Forward for nothing. I'll have a shit day if I wanna have a shit day."

"Fine, dickweed. Do not have a shit day on game day is all I'm asking. Do you need to get laid? It's been what, three days? Call that Lauren broad," he said, grinning like a bastard. We'd all hit that shit. I just got there first.

"Jasper. You know my philosophy. I don't stick it the same place twice. Simple, but true," I said, grinning. I sound like a dick.

I am a dick. Ain't life grand?

"Hey, fuckers. Thanks for waiting for me," a sweaty Emmett wheezed. He put his sticky arms around us and we trudged off to the locker rooms to shower.

"No prob. You know, you'd breathe easier if you'd quit smoking," I reminded him.

"Like you're one to talk, two packs a day," he returned, putting me in a headlock. Ugh. Sweat.

"Emmett, you disgusting fuck. And I told you; I'm down to one pack," I smirked, easily removing myself from his arm. We walked on, each of us waving at the line of girls that were gathered at the fence, watching our practice. Most of them would end up at the post-practice party that would happen at Emmett's place; his mom was always at some committee meeting or another; perhaps the PTSA meeting she presided over, or one of the volunteer charities she and Alice were always at. Emmett and Alice were cousins, and she had been living at his house for years. Her mother was a free spirit, off doing God knows who in Europe somewhere. She got the occasional postcard.

None of us had much in the way of parental supervision. Except Rosalie, but her mother was terrified of her. And what do you get with rich teenagers in a small town with nothing better to do?

Les Liaisons Dangereuses, je croix. We were Cruel Intentions. We are Gossip Girls. We do not give a shit. At all.

This being the first practice that occurred before school started, it was also the unofficial start of the party season for Forks teenagers. Emmett had the best house for gatherings, so we met there. I didn't always hook up at these parties, but it was a good way to unwind. I'd like to say that we had drunken orgies every time, but sometimes it was just a few of us hanging out.

Not today.

The rich and beautiful parents of the rich and beautiful bitchy teenagers knew better than to try to get us to be home before the first day of school. Anyone who was "in" knew to be at Emmett's today. One of those unspoken fucking rules of the hierarchy of high school. If you weren't there today… you might as well stab yourself in the crotch as far as your high school sex life went.

I was also hoping to scope the new meat. There were always transfer girls coming and going at our school; the academic excellence of Forks was renowned; probably because we were all spoiled with private tutors from an early age. People who wanted their kids to get into good colleges were constantly moving here.

Too bad the social structure didn't allow for interlopers. And none of us made it any easier. More than one new girl had found herself with a broken heart, a C average, and a possible case of VD.

I'm clean as a whistle, but who can say the same for any of the other whores out here? I'm responsible enough to get myself tested, fuck.

So I was sitting there, nursing my damned bottle of scotch. Honestly. Emmett knows I need my Glenlivet; I don't know what this shit was pretending to be. Emmett thought belonging to a "Scotch of the Month Club" was funny, I guess.

"See anything you like yet?" I heard Rosalie whisper into my ear. I smirked; she was always taunting me and my inability to get into her pants.

"I'm bored," I huffed, downing the scotch in one gulp and pouring a few more fingerbreadths into my glass. Bored, bored, bored. Scotch, scotch, scotch.

Fuck me fuck me fuck me.

Who the fuck is that?

I love new meat.

She breezed in on the arm of that fag Newton. My type, too- beautiful. Sexy. DSLs. Legs for days. The usual. But she had this knowing smile, too. That killed me. Intelligence gets me every time. Too bad there's not a lot of that running around here. Except for Rosalie and Alice, there weren't that many girls around here that could hold a conversation. I was used to the vapid observations of everyteen that graced the covers of Cosmogirl or whateverthefuck it was these chicks were reading during Trig. Emmett swears by Us Weekly; he had a damned subscription.

"And the challenge strolls on in. I didn't think she had it in her," Rosalie mused, hopping over the sofa and snuggling up to me on the couch. Fucking tease. She leaned in, running her fingers through my hair; she met Bella's arched eyebrow and some sort of exchange passed between them. Great. Rose is going to make this hard for me.

She always does.

"Oh Isabella," she called out. New Hottie came over, arms linked with the Fag.



"And I'm Hale. Let's cut the surname shit, then, shall we?" Rose said, boredom dripping off her glossy lips. She was eyeing the two like a cat eyes a bowl of cream. What the hell? She really did get off on making other people's lives difficult. I decided to drink some more. Fuck it. Project: the Police Chief's Daughter would start tomorrow. Tonight, I needed to relax. For tomorrow we were seniors. Hoo-fucking-ray.

"Oh, goodness. Where are my manners? Edward Cullen, this is Isabella Swan, Police Chief Swan's daughter. Newly transported to Forks," Rose said, a devilishly playful gleam in her eye. What's your game now, Rosalie Hale?

Isabella Swan shot Rose a withering look before placing her hand in front of me. "Nice to meet you, Edward Cullen. I've heard… things about you," she said, arching her brow at me. She glanced at Newton out of the side of her eyes before returning my gaze. Wow. Depth. This girl looked like she'd seen things I could only dream of. I couldn't wait to fuck those secrets right out of her.


stand by for the bella chapter, written by jandco. we're takin' turns.