A/N: Edited version for Superstitious, AnkukoTenma, KiwiPopTart, ninja-kyoko, Inulover4eva.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
"Sakura," Gaara spoke up from behind her, and she glanced at him over her shoulder, her clipboard momentarily neglected.
"Yeah?" She asked distractedly—and went back to scribbling hastily. Minor wounds…all external…no further treatment necessary…
"You know a lot about humans, right?" Gaara continued seriously, seemingly not caring that it was fifty degrees in the doctor's office and he was without a shirt. Sakura gave an inelegant head-jerk, and hummed. He took this as confirmation and ploughed doggedly forwards.
"How is a baby made?" He asked seriously.
Sakura made a little gargling-noise and stared at him in terror. Gaara checked to make sure he wasn't transforming, found that he wasn't, and stared back curiously. Sakura gave a little cough, and started edging almost frantically for the door, blushing furiously.
"I—um—storks." She babbled frantically, and lunged for the doorknob. Her clammy hands slid fruitlessly over the cool metal, and she paled. The damn thing was locked!
"You aren't leaving," Gaara said grumpily, "Until you tell me the truth. Kankuro told me they grew from cabbages, and Temari said something about birds and bees and—whatever." He fixed her with a resolute stare. Sakura busily tried to jimmy the lock with her hair pin.
"I really don't think that you should be asking me about this—" she laughed shrilly and started clawing at the door with her bare hands, "Can I go now?"
Gaara looked disgruntled. Really, why wouldn't anyone give him a straight answer around here?
"They grow inside of their mothers, right?" He prodded. Sakura gave a strangled yelp, then nodded. Gaara nodded thoughtfully. "But how do they get there?"
"Storks!" Sakura yelled, and threw her shoulder against the door repeatedly, now trying to break it down. Gaara looked a little disturbed.
"Storks?!" He mumbled thoughtfully. Sakura nodded, looking as though she was having a seizure.
"Yes, storks. Now I really, really have to go somewhere and…do...something…" She turned pleading eyes toward him, finding the redhead decidedly unmoved.
"…There aren't any storks involved, are there?"
Judging from her face, Sakura looked like she was about to walk the plank. Her shoulder jerked, and a phase of calm swept over her face, deadening her eyes. She appeared resigned to her fate.
With a sigh, she shrugged out of her white doctor's coat, sat down on the examination table next to him, and beat her head against the wall, still wearing that same peaceful expression.
Gaara patiently waited for this fit of self-destruction to subside.
"No…there are no storks involved." Sakura said at last. "But babies do grow inside women. I wasn't lying about that."
"Right. So, how do they get there?"
Sakura opened her mouth, closed it, looked terrified again, made several obscene gestures with her hands, had a coughing fit, and finally settled on, "Magic."
"What?" Gaara's brow wrinkled suspiciously, "Are you lying to me again?"
"No," Sakura said seriously, "Why would I lie about that? It's a big secret though, so don't go around telling people about it."
"Oh." Gaara nodded slowly, "So everyone has been lying to me up until now…to hide this secret?"
"Indeed." Sakura nodded gravely. "There are wizards. Who live…in the sewers. And they come out at night and ZAP women—and viola, babies!"
Gaara's eye's widened, "Is that legal?"
Sakura coughed, "So long as no one catches them, yeah."
Gaara bit his lip, stared suspiciously, and then walked to the door, unlocked in, and walked out.
"Oh. I thought it had something to do with sex."