A/N- Hey. My first take at batman/joker slash. This is, like most of the rest, movie verse. It takes place right after Dark Knight. And don't be fooled by this chapter, the following WILL be full of sex (the graphic kind) and cursing. This is most CERTAINLY an M fic. Oh yea, Don't Own blah blah blah, Make No Money blah blah, No Flames blah blah...AND, don't expect rapid updates. Sorry, but thats just the way it is.
Joker swayed back and forth on his butt while holding the toes of his shoes as he over looked the old church he had wired to blow. This rag-tag chapel, one of the oldest in Gotham, had become the cities pride and joy. The community had pulled together to restore the dingy thing. It was reopening tomorrow, after it went up in flames, of course.
"Sure..." Joker deepened his voice and stuck out his paste covered chin, "some paint and pews and some gasoline and a match...as good as new!" He fell back laughing and kicking his feet in the air like the mad man he is. A timer went off on his wrist alerting him the building had three minutes until combustion. "I shoulda brought some popcorn, I should have." He mused to himself and looked down at the street below, he was sitting on the ledge of the adjacent building to the church. The sirens then went off and broke the city-silence.
"Could it be?" The Clown Prince of Crime batted his eyelashes and looked up to the sky. The Bat signal. "Yes, yes, yes! The Batman will be making an appearance tonight, folks!" He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted down to the empty street. There wasn't much action going on at three in the morning, after all. "Batman should make it in time for the fireworks! Ah, what would I do without him?"
And just like that Joker fell back into his head like a VET having a war flashback. To the days before Batman, and all the fun they share, when he was alone. So alone. Even before the paint, before the scars, people looked at him differently. Not that he really cared. Strange was all the rage! But the solitude? Its no fun to laugh alone. So he made them laugh! All of them. But even when they giggled and twisted in maddening fear, he knew that those normal people, those Joe's and Jane's, they weren't like him. He couldn't talk to them, couldn't relate to them, there was no one to laugh with! But, that all changed when The Batman flew out of the skies to smite him down. Finally! Another weirdo, another freak! But the vigilante had morals. Bah, he had a bad case of denial, that's what he had. Batman refused to see how perfectly he and the Clown Prince fit together-one day he would.
The roar of an engine snapped Joker back into reality and out of his deep thoughts to the task at hand. Batman had arrived! Just in time too, with only 40 seconds to spare.
"Glad you could join me!" Now Joker was laying leisurely on his stomach propping his head up with his elbows and kicking his feet as if he were watching TV.
"The bomb, Joker, where is it?" Bruce only knew of a bomb in this vicinity, he didn't know where exactly.
The purple suit wearing clown frowned. 'Always just business.' "Well I'm afraid you're too late. You see that building over there." He pointed a long finger with a pout to his face. "It's scheduled to blow in, oh I don't know...30 seconds." Even from his perch above the Bat Joker could see the other mans eyes pop open in surprise.
Batman's cape flapped as he turned and charged into the church.
Joker blinked, dumbfounded, before his heart clenched in fear. "Lunatic! I said 30 seconds, not 3 minutes, he doesn't have the time!" Being resourceful he found a drain pipe screwed into the side of the building and slid down it with some difficulty. "What does he think he's going to do, anyways?" Joker screeched to himself and made his way toward the time bomb of a church. He started to laugh menacingly at the irony of the situation. Batman was a fool for storming into a soon-to-explode-church and Joker was a bigger fool because he was chasing Batman into said church, and for what? Just so he would never be alone? So sad. He laughed harder.
His hand was on the door knob and everything went white with heat and light. Joker flew back five feet and hit a garbage can like a bowling ball striking a pin. His vision was shaking and he didn't really feel his wobbly legs moving toward the flaming mess of a church that was, somehow, still standing.
He could not hear the cracking of the wooden roof as flames licked at it from all sides, and Joker could not hear the sounds of the fire truck making its way to them. He could, however, feel the paint on his face getting warmer as it slid down his cheeks and forehead as he stumbled closer to the wreckage; and he could feel the worry churning in his gut. 'Alone? Again? Nononono, I can't be alone again!'
He was working more or less on autopilot, the fire was spinning now and the scene vaguely reminded him of a sick fun house.
"How delightful," The mad man said lazily to himself as he staggered into the flaming threshold. "Where, oh where, has my Bat gone? Oh where, oh where can he beeeee?" His singing was full of hurt and was not laced with its usual full-hearted insanity.
Joker spun around wearing a frown, his arms whipping at his side in an attempt to save his balance, and he caught a glimpse of a black mass on the floor, under a beam. "Damn it." A smoldering beam from the ceiling was smothering Batman, who seemed to be dead, or possibly unconscious, but either way the caped man wasn't moving.
Weary of the quickly collapsing ceiling, Joker slid into the room and avoided being touched by any groping flames. He leaned down to examine his fallen Bat and tried to pull him out from under the over grown Lincoln Log. It was not working. This time the whole building moaned and cracked as if the frame were going to snap any second, and Joker heard it.
"We don't have the time, so," He placed his palms on the burning wood and, "push through the pain!" He hissed, both verbally and through his flesh, as the skin on his palms quickly cooked and sizzled. Why the hell wasn't he wearing gloves? "Grahh!" With one final exertion of force the Clown Prince had shoved the giant sized kindling away.
Thankfully, Batman had fallen on his cape and his feet were pointing toward the back door, otherwise there was no way the smaller man would have been able to move the Bats heavy body. Joker snatched up the bottom of the cape, wrapped it around the fallen mans legs and dragged Batman out of the dying church. He ignored the prickling sensation stabbing his blistered hands as he squeezed the cape along.
The back door was locked, and on fire, was there no end to this maze? The green haired man groaned in frustration and slight panic as he began to wheeze from the lack of oxygen. Joker threw himself at the door. His shoulder smacked against the burning sealed exit, once, twice, three times and it burst open.
Relief came in rolling blows of cool oxygen rich air as he came stumbling out of the hell house. Coughing now he haunched over to listen for, yes, it was still there, Batman was breathing. Hopefully he didn't breath in too much of the smoke? Joker used the last bit of his strength to pull the Bat away from the wreckage and into the car he'd stolen two days earlier. Without a second to spare the heaving criminal peeled out leaving the fiery scene in his rear view mirror as the fire trucks started to circle the building.
He sighed heavily, stopping at a traffic light, even though there was no traffic and all of the police in the city were currently storming the church he'd just blown sky high, he still stopped at the red light. He twisted his lithe torso around to face his 'enemy'. Joker leaned in closely. "Don't scare a person like that, Batsy!" He shouted and rocked back and forth in his seat. He sighed. "Now, what am I going to do with you?"
Joker found himself wanting to reach out and touch the caped crusader, and why not? Who was going to stop him? The Clown Prince gingerly reeled his hand toward the other man's face, eager to feel skin to skin. He gently pressed his finger tips to the smooth pink flesh of Batman's bottom lip and gasped at the softness he could feel even through blistered hands. Joker whined. He wanted to feel more skin...but this wasn't the right place or time. "Your coming home with me, Batsy!"
A/N-Eh, so what do you think? Yea, I know damn it. Nothing special. But I promise the next chapter will be better. This was kind of the awkward ice breaker that really cute guy makes an attempt at before you and him go in the back bed room and fuck :)