…..I'm going to go crawl in a hole and hide until my embarrassment dies.






"Stay right there." The hero warned angrily. He needed to stay aggressive, strong, in control. He wouldn't let this psychotic clown get the upper hand, regardless of how twisted things had become.

Joker took a big breath and rolled his eyes, as if he were sighing in defeat, but then took off like a shot. "Catch me if you can!" The criminal giggled and was gone in a flash. He might not have been very strong, but he could move.

Bruce ran after the shifty man through office after office and into a hallway until he reached a large room full of grey cubicles. The masked man growled in frustration. He knew Joker was in this room, he could feel it.

The cubicles themselves were hard to see—the lights were off in this room—and everything melded together. The Dark Knight felt like a rat sifting through a maze in search of a chunk of cheese.

"I always liked hide and seek," Joker squeaked from somewhere within the room.

Bruce twisted around to get a 360 degree view, but didn't see anything. "No more games, Joker! You're going to Arkham."

"Yadda yadda yadda."Again the hero couldn't pin-point the location of the other man's voice. "I don't wanna talk about Arkham. Let's talk about youuu and meee," he sang. "And how we're going to kill some time."

"You're sick." His voice was steady and deep, nothing to give away his anxiety.

"Have you thought about it?" It was a simple question, but Bruce was shivering before he could stop himself. "I know I have. Any time I want to get in the mood I just think of you, inside me, and all those pretty sounds you made. It gets me going every time."

The Dark Knight had resorted to standing in place, waiting to spot any movement but keeping his mind focused on the task was becoming difficult. Bruce tired to push thoughts of that night aside; he couldn't.

"Do you remember how you begged me to suck your dick, Batsy? I do. I also remember you saying you wanted to fuck me. Hmm, and you did. You fucked me so goooood," he squealed.

Bruce shuddered and started to grind his teeth. This talk was driving him crazy. "Shut up."

"Noooo! You can't make me give it up. It was too right to be wrong." The voice was closer now. "It felt so amazing." Closer still his disembodied voice grew. "I know you felt it, too. You liked it, and you want it again."

Before Bruce could react to the voice closing in, he was pushed to the floor with Joker on top of him. The crafty clown snatched up the corners of Batman's cape and held an iron grip on it. The super hero could not move his arms or legs.

"Tell me you remember!" The criminal licked his lips and yelled desperately, shaking his adversary. "Tell me you remember everything. You have to remember, you promised."

The Dark Knight lit up in a rage. "Get off of me!" He wasn't going to be a victim again.

The Clowns pasty face twisted irritably. That was not the answer he wanted. "Tell me you remember, goddamn it." He swung his head down and it collided with Batman's nose.

Bruce's vision went spotty from the blow. "Fuck you, you twisted freak! How could anyone forget that?"

Joker grinned a short little smile. "That's more like it."

"Shut up!" He thrashed around wildly and his shoulders slammed against the floor. He glared up at the criminal and hated the look of satisfaction on the other mans' face. "I want to forget! I'd do anything to forget." He said it trying to hurt the clown; it worked.

"Kathryn." The mad man said dejectedly. "Look where that got you! She hurt you. She used you!" Joker shouted and almost chastised the Bat. "Did you miss the sea of animals out there? None of them understand you, or accept you. They all hate you; they want to see you fall; no matter what you do for them, they will hate you."

Bruce tried to ignore the hurtful words from Joker, but he knew it was all true. He just wanted the criminal to stop talking. He stiffened and shut his eyes, trying to think of a way out of this.

"I love you." Joker said suddenly when Batman stopped moving.

"You're insane!" Bruce shouted angrily, coming back to reality.

"Actually, I don't really know how love feels." He continued as if Batman hadn't said anything. "But, I want you more than I've ever wanted anything else in this shitty world. So that has to means something, right?" He cocked his head to the side as he looked down at his foe.

"You. Are. Crazy." Bruce gritted his teeth.

"So are youuuu," Joker sung with a tint of laughter. "We're two peas in a warped pod, Batsy. Don't you get it?" His scared smile widened.

"I'm nothing like you!" The Knight tried to straighten up and jump forward as if he planned to bite the clown. He was sick of this argument.

"Yes you are," Joker said darkly. "Don't try to hide it from me! You're not nearly as interested in saving the innocent as you are with hurting the criminals. You get off on cracking a few ribs before you throw us away, don't you?"

Bruce growled angrily. He wasn't like that, he wanted to help people.

"Sure, you justify it by saying," Joker changed his voice to sound something of mock righteousness, "it's a necessary evil. I have to hurt them to save the good people." He narrowed his green eyes, "I don't believe it. You're just as fucked as I am."

"You don't know anything about me!"

"I know you looked a little too happy when Kathryn kicked the bucket."

Bruce opened his mouth to deny it, but Joker was right. He felt sick all over again.

"It's alright. She was a bad guy. She deserved it. That's what you were telling yourself, huh?"

Batman started shaking with blind rage. He couldn't think straight he was so angry. "Shut up! Just shut up!" He couldn't even deny it; all Bruce could do was yell.

"I knew it." Joker giggled.

"What the fuck do you want from me? Yes, I know the people will never appreciate me; I don't just do this for them, I need it too; and I am happy you killed Kathryn because I know I couldn't do it!"

Joker kissed Bruce solidly and lingered there until the hero exhaled. "What a break through! You're so beautiful like this. Just tonight, be honest with me, like that, because I'm not going to get another chance."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm with you, silly." He grinned playfully. "I'm not escaping. They'll catch me and I can't get away this time."

Bruce's intellect kicked in at once and he realized that the criminal had never planned on escaping. His features must have amused Joker because the clown smiled wider.

"Everything I did tonight was for you. I needed to protect you from that whore, and from the city. Think about it, tonight you saved all of those snobs in the audience, and you captured The Joker, they'll be grateful for a while longer."

'He's sacrificing himself for me.' Batman couldn't believe it. "You're serious?"

The criminal shrugged. "Even a clown is serious sometimes."

Bruce glared up at the villain. He couldn't describe what he was feeling, but he didn't have to. "Thank you."

Before the masked man could finish the last syllable of his sentence Joker had abandoned his iron grip on the cape and sealed their mouths together.

Bruce mumbled a protest to the other man, but it got lost between their lips somewhere. Just because he was grateful didn't mean he wanted this. However, Joker refused to acknowledge his request and slid his body against the vigilante.

The Prince of Crime tried to avoid that pointed tip on Batman's cowl and their teeth scraped together but the messy kiss was just what they needed.

"This is," kiss, "crazy." The Knight mumbled against red lips.

"Just enjoy it, Batsy."

Bruce, against his better judgment, took the advice. He jerked to the side and nipped and sucked at Joker's white neck until the clown moaned. Batman growled approvingly at the other man's mewling and flipped Joker over onto his back. If he was going to do this he needed to be in control.

The criminally insane clown squealed delightfully. "I like it when you get all aggressive and controlling." He arched up and mashed his ripped mouth against Batman's. Bruce parted his lips and stabbed his tongue inside Jokers torn mouth. He had the green haired man writhing and moaning like a virgin and suddenly the hero didn't think this was so crazy.

"Fuck, you're a good kisser, Bats." Joker panted and pitched his hips up to grind against Batman's stiff suit.

Bruce glanced down at the criminal with animalistic eyes. The intense stare made Joker squirm and he bit his ruby red lip. Batman growled and ducked down for another kiss but a noise jerked them apart.

"Joker, we are closing in. We have the building surrounded and a team is coming to you now. Go quietly and no one else will get hurt." It was Gordon on the buildings intercom.

Bruce looked down at the wanted man. Joker just smiled plainly, it was uncharacteristic of the ostentatious clown. His smile was not extreme or sinister or mocking. It was just simple, like he was satisfied and ready to give up. Bruce didn't like it.

"It was nice while it lasted, eh?" He stood up and Batman followed. Joker turned his back to the super hero and placed his wrists together behind his back.

"What are you doing?" Batman asked quietly.

"Cuff me, stupid. They'll be here any second. We can't be rolling around on the floor when they show up, now can we? They'd think you really lost it then."

"But you'll…I can't…

"Batsy, you don't have a choice. You can do it or they can. I bet you'll be nicer about it. " Joker wiggled his fingers behind his back and winked.

Unwillingly Bruce pulled out a pair of handcuffs from his belt and locked them around the criminal's wrists. Joker leaned against the vigilante's chest and sighed.

"They're coming to talk me away, ha-ha." Batman frowned. He gave the other man a departing kiss and left just as lights from the police forces' guns flooded the room.




A/N ok so thats chapter seven

Seeeee I'm TRYING to update sooner! Yea, I know most of you don't even care if I update unless I post a chapter full of really kinky sex. I get it!

But, back to seriousness now, this story is almost done. I see two, maybeeeeeeee three more chapters and then its done. I already know where I'm taking it and I see the end of the road not too far away. Hope you all like it :)