Disclaimer: All characters belong to J K Rowling, and I got the list (which I will post at the end) and the idea from a website.
A/N: Fred and George and their various misdemeanours throughout their years at Hogwarts.
Everything they do here has come from a list called 150 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts. I picked my favourites, and the ones I thought more appropriate...
Additional A/N: If anyone wants to publish this story in another language or wants to do anything with it, then that's totally fine - but could you please let me know first!
Another additional A/N: This list was not written by me! It was written by Atalanta_Pendragonne, a writer! I am not in any way claiming it as my own! I just write about it! Thanks to Roos for letting me know who wrote the list.
Number 8 – I will not use Umbridge's quill to write 'I told you I was hardcore.'
'It bloody hurts!' Fred whimpered, showing his blood covered hand to his twin.
'Looks wicked though!' George enthused. 'It'll be worth it when it heals!
'Why didn't you do it too then?' Fred grumbled. George rolled his eyes.
'Trust me, you'll be showing it off in no time.'
Fred's head whipped up as he saw Harry, Ron and Hermione enter the common room.
'Ron! C'mere and check this out!' he cried, extending his arm.
Ron waved his arm away. 'Before you tell me anything, I've to tell you that Umbridge is looking for you. Something about her quill?'
George burst into peals of laughter as Fred's face fell. 'Dammit,' he muttered, as he trudged out of the common room.
Number 11 – If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
Fred was bored. He and George were in History of Magic, and Professor Binns was lecturing about Goblin wars. Again. Slowly, Fred felt himself drift into unconsciousness, and his head slipped from between his hands and slumped quietly on his desk, unnoticed by anyone but George.
George looked at his twin, draped over the desk to his right, with his arms hanging down. Suddenly he was struck with a brilliant idea. Dipping his quill in ink, he lifted Fred's heavy arm onto his desk and quickly sketched a drawing onto his left arm.
When the bell rang, Fred jumped awake, and began to pack away his things. He was headed out of the classroom when, for the first time ever, Professor Binns stopped him.
'Fred Weasley, report to Professor McGonagall immediately. I cannot believe even you would joke about such things,' he ordered, before drifting out of the classroom.
'What the -' Fred stopped, noticing his arm. 'Very bloody funny, George,' he said to his twin, who was shaking with laughter just behind him. 'I'm telling McGonagall it was you, by the way…'
Number 59 - I am not the Defence against the Boring Classes Professor.
'You all know why we're gathered here today,' Fred greeted the small crowd in front of him.
'But in case you don't,' George continued, 'we're here to find the weary battle against boring classes.'
The group of students surrounding the popular twins were quiet. Harry, Ron and Hermione were in the front row; Hermione had her arms crossed.
'Our first task is to – oh bugger it,' Fred muttered, staring at the door of the classroom they were gathered in.
'Your first task is to make sure no-one tells me about these hilarious meetings of yours,' Professor McGonagall said from the doorway. The group craned their necks to look round at McGonagall, and back at the twins who were looking sheepish.
'My office, now,' she said to the brothers. 'Defence against boring classes, I ask you…' she muttered, as she swept out of the classroom, Fred and George following.
George ducked back and said in a carrying whisper; 'If that was you, Hermione…' he gave her a menacing look before running to catch up with the Professor.
Ron and Harry looked at her, eyebrows raised comically.
'It wasn't!' she insisted, not meeting their eyes.
Number 75 – I will not put books of Muggle fairytales in the History section of the library.
'Here it comes, here it comes!' George whispered excitedly to Fred; they were hiding in the stacks of the library.
'Shh…' Fred whispered absentmindedly.
They were staring at a pureblood first year girl. They'd done their research; they knew she'd never been exposed to any knowledge of muggles. They were waiting for her to finish reading a book that they'd planted on the shelves where they knew she'd go for a History of Magic project.
She turned the final page, frowned a little, and closed the book.
'It's now or never…' Fred chanted.
The girl stood up, grabbed the book, and tiptoed over to Madam Pince, who was stacking bookshelves.
'Madam Pince, I have a question about this book.'
'Jackpot!' George beamed.
'It's doesn't actually mention what spell the wicked witch uses to poison the apple, and seeing as that's how Snow White died, I think I should know. I promise I won't use it,' she explained.
Madam Pince's face was black for a moment, before she registered the muffled giggling coming from two rows away. A knowing look on her face, she grabbed the book, only glancing at the title 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarves,' before bewitching it to chase Fred and George, still laughing, out of the library and back to their common room.
Number 76 - There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts.
And I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
'And why has Professor McGonagall sent you both to me?' Dumbledore inquired of the Weasley twins, smiling politely.
'Um…well, we sort of…formed our own Hogwarts House, Sir,' Fred answered, looking guiltily at his brother.
'I see,' Dumbledore paused. 'Then what happened?'
'Well, we were trying to install our own hourglass in with the others…only McGonagall – I mean; Professor McGonagall caught us filling it up with…' George trailed off.
'Yes?' Dumbledore raised his white eyebrows.
'With baubles with pictures of our faces on them. It was the Weasley House, you see,' Fred finished, gulping, while George smiled weakly at the Headmaster.
'Ahh…' Dumbledore sighed, trying to hide his smile, and failing.
The twins heard his quiet chuckle and their faces brightened.
'How had you planned to recruit students?' Dumbledore asked, still smiling slightly.
'Well, we were going to ask the Sorting Hat to seek out students who were the most like us!' Fred said, more eagerly now.
'Yeah, then we were going to help it rewrite its new song to include Weasley House qualities,' George added. 'It would have been hilarious.'
'I'm not sure everybody would have seen it that way. Perhaps it's just as well Minerva caught you when she did,' he said, standing up. The twins' faces cracked into identical grins.
Dumbledore chuckled again, before excusing the two from his office, punishment free.
Number 79 – I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.
'You should be able to discern shaped in the crystal ball now, if you have been meditating properly…' Professor Trelawney said in her dreamy voice. 'Use your books, children, and hone your inner eye…'
George kicked Fred under the table they were sharing. Fred looked up from his crystal ball.
'What?' he whispered.
'Follow my lead!' George replied, grinning.
George stuck his hand in the air while assuming a worried expression. Fred immediately copied him.
'Yes, Fred, dear?' Trelawney floated over to them.
'It's George, Professor,' George said automatically. 'But that's not important. I think I'm seeing something…something awful…' he let his voice trail off delicately, watching his teacher's face assume the same expression he wore.
'What do you see?' she asked in a hushed tone; only he and Fred could hear.
'I see you, professor…I see you with a Grim…'
Fred gasped loudly; the class swivelled round to face them.
'The Grim, Professor! That means...' Fred's face was a picture of horror.
Trelawney's face turned purple, she grabbed George's crystal sphere and peered into it herself.
'No, not the grim, anything but the grim -' she broke off her frantic murmuring when she heard the hysterical laughter around her. Fred was lying on the ground, his hands clasped around his throat, his mouth a comical 'o' shape. George was shaking with laughter.
'Sorry Professor, I must have mistaken you for Fred!'
Trelawney's face was like thunder as she sent them both, still laughing, to McGonagall.
Number 80 – I will not use Slytherin first years as Christmas decorations.
'This isn't going to be enough, George,' Fred commented, surveying their handiwork. 'We still need two more.'
'I'll go get them. You finish with this one,' George said, gesturing carelessly at the mess in front of them.
'Okay dokey,' Fred said, grabbing their last Slytherin first year, immobilised with the Pretrificus Totalus curse, and painted gold. He forced a tutu round her waist, and a crown on her head, and levitated her to the top of the tenth Christmas tree in the Great Hall.
'Perfect!' he said happily. He looked up at the girl, who managed to look hateful, even with her features frozen. 'Oh, don't worry,' he sighed. 'We'll let you down before the feast tonight.'
He turned as George walked back into the Hall, carrying two more immobilised Slytherin first years under his arms.
'Excellent. Let's get these two kitted out then!' Fred said, reaching for his wand, preparing to turn them both into Christmas tree Angels.
'We have a problem, Fred,' George admitted, setting the first years down. He stepped aside, and Professor McGonagall strode in, her expression murderous.
'You two, my office. Now.' She swept out to lead the way.
Fred and George looked up at the Slytherins, perched on their trees. They shrugged, and, turning their backs on them, followed McGonagall into the Entrance Hall.
Number 88 – I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my professors.
Fred and George sat alone in Professor McGonagall's office, waiting impatiently for the Transfiguration teacher to arrive.
'That was brilliant, right?' Fred muttered to George, growing tired of the silence.
'It was wicked,' George agreed. 'Not sure McGonagall will see it that way though…'
'Oh I don't know. She might,' Fred shrugged hopefully.
The door was thrown open before George had a chance to reply.
'You used a silencing charm on Professor Umbridge.' McGonagall stated, her eyes wild.
'Um…yes,' Fred cringed, his hopes of no retribution dashed.
'And you somehow managed to cast it so that it cannot be removed,' she seethed.
'Uh huh…' George replied, not meeting his Professor's eyes.
Sighing, McGonagall threw herself into the chair behind her desk. 'I don't know how you two can do it,' she muttered. 'You've probably caused us another few Educational Decrees.' She sat up straighter. 'I'm going to have to give you a punishment for this,' she said evenly.
The twins braced themselves.
'But I'd like you to know,' McGonagall spoke in a much gentler voice, 'how grateful I am.'
The twins stared at her.
'For the minute anyway. We will have to get her voice back sometime. But until then, I don't have to hear a single unnecessary cough…' she trailed off.
The twins were utterly incredulous.
'You're still getting lines though,' she added; and their shoulders slumped.
Number 96 – I will not follow Potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.
A huge amount of steam shot out of the cauldron, fogging the entire classroom. George couldn't even see his twin, next to him, never mind Snape, who was clawing his way toward him, a venomous look on his face. Suddenly, the steam disappeared; Fred had Vanished it, eagerly anticipating the Potion Master's reaction to their latest experiment. George looked into his cauldron. Green sparks were dancing across the surface, and it looked like parts of the potion were trying to crawl up the side of the cauldron and out onto the floor.
Snape, having regained his sense of direction swooped down on the twins.
'Having trouble with the lesson, Weasley?' he asked, his hooked nose inches from George's.
'Did it ever cross your mind, as you did the potion backwards, that your foolish experiment may have killed you?' he snarled, turning to Fred. 'Did you not think about the effects that an Elixir to Induce Euphoria might have if ingested when created in reverse?'
'Well…' George began.
'We were just having a laugh,' Fred said, knowing the outcome would be the same whatever they said.
Snape narrowed his eyes. 'Fifty points from Gryffindor. And a month of detention.'
He swept to his desk to record their 'experiment.' 'And if you ever do this again, I will have you expelled.'
The twins shrugged in unison, unnoticed by Snape.
'That was excellent!' Fred whispered to George.
'Yeah, we should do that again!' George replied, beaming.
And finally, Number 126 – I am not allowed to declare an official 'Hug a Slytherin Day.'
'Here goes, brother,' Fred muttered to his twin, as he straightened up, and strode toward a skinny fourth year Slytherin boy, and warmly embraced him. The boy was too shocked to react, and Fred had scampered back to George by the time he had realised what had happened.
The two ducked out of sight before the Slytherin could do them any damage.
'Soft option. You went for a fourth year! A skinny one! Ron could have taken him!' George reprimanded him.
'Fine then, you go do it!' Fred insisted, pointing his brother toward a tall seventh year witch in Slytherin robes walking toward them.
'Blimey,' George muttered. 'She's terrifying.'
'We're not doing this because it's easy, George,' Fred reminded him. 'We're doing it because it's funny.'
Nodding, George headed toward the girl, hugged her briefly, and quickly cast a shield around himself to deflect the spell she cast at him in retaliation.
'Nice one,' Fred whispered. 'She was definitely part troll.'
'Where are Ron and Harry? They're supposed to be doing this too!' George complained.
'Um, George…' Fred nudged him in the ribs and pointed to the staircase in front of them.
George burst into laughter; Harry and Ron were dashing down the stairs, chased by an angry mob of Slytherins whom they'd tried to hug.
As he watched them streak past, George calmed his laughter to a chuckle.
'Crikey…can't say they didn't try, though…'
Fred nodded, grinning. 'Let's go watch the fight, shall we?'
George chuckled and followed his brother to the Entrance Hall, where they could watch the ensuing confrontation with front row seats.
A/N: Just a silly little idea there, I hope you enjoyed it. This was my first Harry Potter fiction! Please review!!