I know this goes against my ideals of writing something that isn't what I'm currently working on, but I couldn't help myself. I spent the latter of my day watching this anime, upon finding out about it through a couple profiles on FF. It toyed with my head and wouldn't leave me alone, especially after the talk Yoite and Yukimi had after the abduction. Okay, so in the anime the conversation of not being alive is held with Yukimi, not Miharu. I liked the idea of it being with the boy because well, for shonen ai purposes. This is the outcome! Enjoy. n.n;; I can now return to my lovely little DN fic. Oh and, it's a bit OC, sorry. ;(
The wind blew lightly, ruffling the black locks unsheathed by the beige hat atop his head. He didn't move, but rather he stared intently at the ground before him. His azure eyes depicted no signs of emotion as his thoughts trailed off into an endless ocean of self defeat. All he knew was killing with the technique he'd mastered, and that alone was leaving his life with no more than a thin line to tread upon. He wanted more, but hadn't known how to go about possessing the one thing he desired more than never being born.
The sixteen year old had agreed to help Miharu with awakening the Shinrabanshō inside of him. The truce had come about through words of depression, something the older teen battled with on a daily basis. The simple act of using death to kill the fourteen year olds' friends gained him more control over their first actual conversation than he had intended. Had he not convinced said younger teen to reset his past and make it so he'd never been born than he wouldn't often feel the closest thing he could call love.
"Miharu," his voice deadpan, "Am I alive?" He brought his knees closer to his chest, hugging them loosely, his chin rested on the bony structures. Miharu blinked, staring into the back of the boy sitting on the ground.
"What would make you ask something like that?" His tone remained calm, though inside he felt his heart break.
Yes, Yoite had once been his enemy in the world he'd recently been subjected to. But, the more time he spent with the raven haired beauty, the more attached he grew to him. And that alone was a feat in itself. Miharu had allowed himself to take on an apathetic air once his parents ceased to exist. He made a promise to himself that he would never let anyone break his barriers, would never let anyone close enough to know the real him.
"I don't know.." The answer pained Miharu.
"Being alive is supposed to have a reason behind it." Miharu opened his mouth to interject but decided otherwise as Yoite shifted slightly, pushing himself up to his feet. "I don't feel like I have a reason…" He stood several inches taller than the boy before him. His hands wrapped tightly around his chest as if in attempt to close himself off from the world he'd only ever done damage to.
"Yoite," he choked, "You do have a reason." At least to Miharu he had a reason to live, a reason to being alive.
"All I ever do is kill people. That's all anyone wants from me." His accusation had been true in all aspects, save for one individual standing not even a foot from him. His Kira technique was a gift in the world of Nabari. The Kairoshou used his forbidden power to their utmost ability. He was their secret weapon, he was their 'monster'.
"I don't have much longer to live." The fact seemed to give him hope.
"Are you afraid of dying, Yoite?" Miharu's iridescent eyes locked onto the aqua hued spheres before him. A simple shake of the head gave him the answer he'd not wanted to hear.
"Why not?" A part of him could picture a slender arm rising, his index finger pointed out ready to torture the Hijustu carrying child. He had finally regained his eyesight after his first encounter with said tortured soul. The response the boy had been granted to such a simply complex question hadn't been expected.
"Miharu-kun.." He shivered through the black coat shielding him. "I am afraid of death." The boy weakly admitted. Though everyone he'd come in contact with had him pegged to be some fearless creature, the opposite of what he really was. Yoite was scared. He didn't want his life to be cut short at sixteen years of age. The last few months of his life were coming to an end and the thought made his heart run into overdrive. Thanks to a certain ninja in training he had finally told himself he wasn't ready for departure from the world he'd been eliminating people from.
Miharu instinctually stepped closer to the older teenager, his arms wrapping around his waist loosely. His body tensed as he felt strong arms wrap around him in return. "Yoite," the boy looked up, "Why?" He instigated. The questions had to get annoying, but Yoite took them in stride.
"I don't know, Miharu." He exclaimed, a hand running up Miharu's back, gliding over his shoulder and planting softly on his face. His gloved thumb caressed the boy's cheek lovingly, something he thought he'd never be capable of doing.
Love had been foreign to the onyx haired teenager. It wasn't an emotion that ran deep with a mind that could easily kill and not feel the slightest bit remorseful. He hadn't known the emotion until the younger raven haired teenager stepped into his life that one tragic day in Fuma. It had seemed that fate had intervened that afternoon.
Earlier that day, as requested he'd stolen the lives of many and knew his health was deteriorating. He felt weak, unstable and ultimately blamed his poor health for attacking the clan from Banten so easily. That day was a turning for Yoite, and though he hated to admit it, he secretly sought to thank Miharu for giving him hope.
Miharu sighed against the body he had pressed himself into, burying his face into the coated chest. It felt strange, being in the arms of the person that had just days ago threatened the lives of his friends, his protectors. Still, the warmth coming from the body close to him felt nice.
Through the jacket Miharu could hear Yoite's heartbeat speed up, as his in turn began to beat with the same rapid force. One more question fought its way from the sealed lips, fighting against what was morally right and wrong. He closed his eyes, the green disappearing for a brief moment as he opened his mouth to ask anyways.
"You're afraid to die, but you don't feel alive?" He accused, the hand that had been on his face dropped to a limp position beside Yoite's side. "Correct."
"You don't know why you're afraid to die?" The second question rang out.
"The only reason you don't feel alive is because you've killed so many?" The questions were now falling into the irritating category. Miharu knew he only had a few more minutes to spare before the body removed itself from his grasp. A tinge of emptiness surged through him.
"Mhm. What are you getting at, Miharu-kun?" Aha! The question that the boy had been waiting to be asked, he smiled against the chest.
"Can I give you a reason?"
Yoite stiffened, looking down at the raven haired child wrapped around him. Many things ran trough his head, more often than not he would picture Miharu telling him that he'd use his power to rid Yoite's past of only the killings he'd done, and of the Kira technique he'd mastered. That brought the ends of his lips to twitch. Miharu could have sworn that he heard the smile, but paid no attention to it.
"A r-reason?" His words had been lodged in his throat, afraid to speak at the mere thought of anything he conjured up coming true.
However, what he'd managed to think up had been nothing compared to the idea that plagued Miharu's seemingly innocent mind. He felt the younger teenage nod against him, his arms tightening around his waist. Miharu lifted his head off of his chest, cocking it back slightly to take in the beauty of the gatsby cap wearing boy holding onto him.
A soft smiled danced across his face as he pushed himself up with his feet, aiming for being closer to taller body's face. He succeeded, but only briefly. It had been futile to think he could remain on the same height level for longer than a few seconds. Regardless, Miharu wouldn't let that keep him from giving Yoite his sole reason for being alive, and for being afraid of death.
Thoughts shifted through Yoite's mind, coming to terms with what was taking place. A boy not much younger than him thought he could give him a reason to both fear death and feel a need for life? Absurd. Comical, at most. He relaxed against Miharu's failed attempt, his eyes closed. What did the boy honestly have in mind? It couldn't be much, Yoite decided.
With that through he found himself eating his words as he felt a pair of soft lips press into his own. They both stiffened briefly, Yoite's eyes flicking open upon contact. Miharu's lips savored the taste of the older boy before pulling away, eyes diverted to the ground. Blood rushed into his face as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing, pinking his pallid cheeks.
"Mi-Miharu?" Yoite muttered, keeping a watch on the younger of the two. Pain surged in him as their brief connection came to a close, leaving him with the yearning sensation for more. He'd been given a taste and he wanted it.
"Miharu-kun." His voice was soft. Yet, Miharu still didn't look at him, afraid of how he'd be perceived. Would he be looked at like an idiot for trying something he'd never done before in his life? His first kiss had been given to a boy that seemingly yearned for nothing more than to never have been created.
"Look at me," he pleaded.
Miharu did as asked, his forest hued optics locking with the blue ones peering at him from under the tan cap. Yoite's face lit up, and for once he had forgotten all about his previous ideals of death and not being alive. For once he wanted more.
His lips crashed into Miharu's with bruising force. His tongue traced the curves of said ninja in training, beckoning for entrance. Miharu complied, parting his lips slightly. Their tongues met in lust, swirling together in search for the treasure all undiscovered territories held. The arm around Miharu pulled the boy closer as the other way made its way into his hair, tugging on it lightly. A moan emitted from the younger boy's throat. Yoite swallowed it happily.
If he hadn't known any better he would have thought Miharu had been experienced in the art of kissing, but that was thrown out the window as the boy pulled back, panting heavily.
"Is that your reason, Miharu-kun?"
The boy simply shook his head. His arms leaving from around Yoite's waist only to press against his chest, making it easier for him to watch the unsteady rise and fall of his chest. Taking in the distinct discomforting look of no longer having Miharu's lips against his own.
"Then.. What is?" He purred into the boy's ear, skimming his nose down his jaw line and stopping at his mouth. Miharu shivered, refusing to spill his secret that he had claimed to be his reason. A reason that would only justify the first kiss.
"Miharu," he didn't move, "Don't tell me. It's better that way."
"I want to tell you.." He smiled faintly against the lips that rested at the corner of his mouth.
"I-I love you, Yoite."
His heart skipped a beat, and for the first time since the news of the Hijutsu being found, Yoite felt alive.
"I know." He placed his lips against the boy mouth once again, kissing him with passion he, himself, had never felt before. "I love you too, Miharu-kun."
I'm thoroughly happy with the way this came out, though it took longer to write than it should have. I blame not knowing the character's that well, seeing as how I was just introduced to the series ten episodes ago. o.o; Eep! It's almost 5 AM. I work in five hours. - gives sweets and scurries away. - R&R plx. n.n;
no flames D: