WARNING: The following piece requires massive amounts of Suspension of Disbelief, following Illogical Logic, includes Implied Duck-iality, TALKING Ducks, and also involves references to StrikerS, MaiHime anime ending, and Shugo Chara. :D But I likes it. Really.


Teh Epic-logue

"It's here, I know it is!"

"What's here, Fate?"

Arf barked, "Hey! That's Quack M. Fate to you. Show some respect!"

Vita rolled her eyes. "Oh please, I've been around longer than your Maiden Fate has been out of diapers."

Before Arf could snarl a comeback, Fate distractedly said, "Never mind all that! Look, there it is!"

Vita and Arf looked past Fate to the pond… and saw a lone baby duck.

Oh God no.



Both were cut off as Fate made her intentions clear. Kneeling at the edge of the pond, she started calling over to the duck, throwing out little bits of bread from a bag apparently filled just for this purpose.

The duckling approached to a point, but refused to get within arm's reach. It was a smart little bugger.

That was when Fate decided to pull out the big guns. Holding out a hand behind her back, she commanded, "Vita-chan, lend me the bunny off your hat."

Vita was absolutely positively mortified of the idea of losing her Mr. Snookums Jr., but while she was struggling over her issue of pride and allegiance, Arf snatched it off her hat and handed it over.

Fate didn't even bat an eyelash as she held the bunny out to the duckling. It became immediately fixated.

Fate experimentally held the bunny over to the right, and the duckling obediently followed the movement with its whole head. Fate did the same to the left, with a similar reaction.

Gentle and soothing, Fate eventually coaxed the duckling within range, scooping it out of the water into her arms so that the duck could hug the bunny and she could hug the duck. After making sure the duckling was comfortable, Fate stood up and turned to smile at her companions.

Vita refused to speak to her after her bunny was so rudely slobbered on by the non-salivating duckling.

Arf eagerly asked, "What next?"

"Next…" Fate gave a grim smile. "… We find the curry cubes."

When Fate finally returned to the fortress, she was quite pleased with her accumulation skills. She set them all in a inescapable compartment and showcased them off to her larger duck companion.

"See, Nanoha? I got everything you said I need for the spell. I got the baby duck, the curry cubes, the chocolate, the seaweed, and I even got an ant for good luck! Now I just need to mix the stuff- not the duck of course- and load the cartridge into Bardiche and we'll be ready to go."

"Qua-" The duck cleared her throat and gestured with her beak to the bed, which she was sitting on. "Come over here."

Fate giggled and nodded, leaving her stuff on the table before jumping on the bed and wrapping her arms around Nanoha's neck. "You're so fluffy."

"I'm ready whenever you are."

"Mm!" Fate grinned. "It'll be soon. Real… soon."

"If it works-"

"It /will/ work! Nanoha's never been wrong before!"

Nanoha didn't reply as she said, "When it works then, what are we going to name… it?"

"I want a girl. A girl's name." Fate grinned. "Something grand and… Vivacious. Like that Las Vegas place you took me to once, remember? On Earth?"

Nanoha bobbed her head. "Vivacious is a bit long… how about… Vivio?"

Fate wrinkled her nose. "Isn't Vivio a boy's name? You know, it ends in 'o' and all that…"

"Vivia sounds weird. Vivian?"

"Eww, no. That was that mean girl from that show, um, Legally Broad, right?"

"Blonde. And she wasn't that mean. And it's a nice name."

"Still… okay, how about this? If it's a girl, we'll name it Vivian, and if it's a boy… Vivio. Deal?"

Nanoha paused a moment and then nodded. "Sounds good."


It was near midnight when Fate burst into the bedroom with excited whispers spilling past her lips.

Nanoha stirred slowly for her slumber.

"Nanoha, Nanoha, I did it! Look!"

Nanoha leaned back as a vile of glowing rainbow liquid was thrust too quickly into her immediate line of sight. "Did you… did you do it right?"

"It's the right color, isn't it? And I put in all the ingredients in exactly the order the recipe said. Come on, Nanoha, let's do it."

Nanoha blinked. "Now? Fate, it's almost midnight."

Fate scoffed, jumping off the bed to grab Bardiche. "What kind of demons have curfews anyway? Bardiche, set up!"

"Yes sir."

Fate held the extended staff in her hand and smiled as the cartridge compartment opened to let her slip in the contents of the vial. Closing it up, she cocked the staff like a gun and looked at Nanoha.

Fate smiled and approached the bed. Crawling up on top of the bed, Fate wrapped her arms around Nanoha's neck once more.

"Are you ready, love?"

"Fate… Fate… if this works, I… I just…"

"Shhh… it's going to be okay, Nanoha. It'll go perfectly."

"…I'm so happy, Fate."

Fate smiled as she intoned, "Bardiche! Load silver cartridge!"

"Fate!" Nanoha squirmed. "Wasn't it rainbow?"

"The liquid was, but its incased in a silver cartridge. To ward off vampires."

--Scene censored in bunches of green pixilation—

-the next morning-

"Oh my L-Mistress! Fate! Fate, look!"

Fate slowly stirred, rubbing her eyes and wondering why there was no longer any blanket to cover her nude body.

And then she saw it.

At the foot of the bed, there was a lone, pure white egg.

"Is that…?"

"Yes! Fate, yes! This is it! This is-"

"The Embryo! We've done it!" Fate hugged Nanoha tightly, excited beyond all means of mortal comprehension.

"Soon our wish will be granted…"

-skip, skip-

"It's cracking! The Embryo is cracking! Vi is about to be born!"

"Remember, Vivio if it's a boy, Vivian if it's a girl."

"I know, I know."

Fate gasped aloud as the baby chick emerged from the Embryo.

"It's a chick!" Fate picked up the chick carefully and held it up to the light. "And it's a boy! Vivio it is!"

… Just then, what Fate thought was an identifier… fell off. Like… completely.

Nanoha chortled. "I guess that means that it's a girl. Vivian."

But the chick didn't respond to the name.

Fate frowned and said experimentally, "Vivio?"

The chick started chirruping like crazy.

"But… Vivio's a boy name… but… it's a chick. It's a girl!"

"She's going to have an identity crisis when she grows up." Nanoha shrugged. "Oh well."

Fate laughed and spun around with Vivio in her hands. "Viva la Vivio!"


With that, Fate, Nanoha, and Vivio lived just about happily ever after.

The End-End.

Omake + Notes:

In the original picture, it said:

Uchu chousa chuu desu. (first line)

"This is a survey of Earth."

uchuu jin na no desu.

"..It's an earth person."

The items scattered at Fate's feet on the left panel are:

Seaweed (the two gray strip things), chocolate (the one the ant speck thing left a trail from), curry "cubes" (the ones that look like the chocolate without the dents on top… which may actually be curry sauce o.O)

At the bottom, on the left side, it says:

No.1: An Earth Guardian's Job

At the bottom, on the right side, it says:

No. 2: Real Hunters Fate and Nanoha

I was talking with my friend who translated it for me, and this is what we came up with:

MK: lol, what I THINK is really happening is basically in the picture, Fate is an alien who is taking notes of earth type things... which are the curry and chocolate and so on. It's work required for guarding the earth? Err... then I suppose...um.. actually, I still don't get the hunters part.


KL: but what about nanoha in the bgd?

MK: she looks like she's just watching what this strange alien is doing. _

MK: I bet she's the one who gave her the chocolate, seaweed and curry in the first place.

KL: :3

MK: because she's totally the type to try confuse an innocent little alien.

KL: and you can tell from fate's eyes that she's very confused

MK: Nanoha: These are the most important items on earth.

Fate: o.o What does this do?

KL: it makes lesbian babies!!!

MK: *transforms to hunter form!*Bardiche! make babies!

KL: Bardiche: Sir, permission to join forces with Raising Heart?

KL: Raising Heart: Yes! Master, I can be shot.

MK: X3

MK: That is definitely how it's translated in my head now.

KL: :3

This is KL, bringing crack to the convenience of whichever computer you choose to log on with.



Inspiring Image Below (take out the spaces):

http:// img388. imageshack. us/ my. php ?image= 20081115014712lv7. jpg