fleets: Tadaa! I followed some advice from some kind readers and decided to actually start this before my mind blew up. I might have rushed things a bit, so if you find anything confusing, let me know and I'll go back and make changes. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: All Zelda related characters, objects, settings, etc. belong to Nintendo. This original story line belongs to ME and so do the original characters. Please don't take without permission!


Let me begin by telling you my name. I am known as Vaati, Sorcerer of Winds. The history of my various plans to obtain ultimate power and to take over Hyrule have escaped the memories of most people, and fewer yet would remember the time that I had taken the form of a Hylian, or even a Minish. I refuse to be reminded of my horribly humiliating Minish life, and so will continue describing myself as the undeniably irresistible Hylian.

What? You say that you had been told that I was a demonic black eye that could cover the fields of Hyrule in darkness in one night? I'm flattered by the description, but I can hardly say that the form as the eye is the form I like best. For purposes of fighting and crushing little green clad fools it works relatively well, but for practical purposes I prefer to appear more human. I've also found I am pretty fascinating amongst the female population in my Hylian form, and this I don't hesitate to take advantage of.

I would like to say that I am of average height and not some ridiculously short stature that I had been cursed with in my previous misadventure with Link. Let me say it again: I am not short. The consequence of being sealed in the Four Sword is, I'm afraid, the inability to age. Of course this is a good thing if you're at the age you want to stay in, but I was sealed when I had been around twelve in the Minish age and therefore I appeared twelve when, several centuries later, I was released to go wreak havoc once more. So if Link ever told you that I was rather short for someone who had lived for over several decades, I tell you he is stupid and you shouldn't take him seriously. That said, I am currently living outside the realm of the seal of the Four Sword and have been able to age appropriately to the point that I now look like an adult. Insult me about my height now and you'll find yourself regretting your idiocy later.

As much as I would like to go on talking about myself, I have more pertinent issues I would like to discuss.

Like Link, for example.

When I last met him I told him explicitly "May we never meet again." Now, I thought that when they said that the spirits and the great and holy ones had forgiven me they were being serious, as they aren't known to be good with humor. I had made a decision to separate myself from everything and stay in low key to think about things. I had planned to never meet Link again, and I was completely serious about what I had said. It appears, however, that the divine great ones wanted me to suffer more by creating a series of events that would inevitably lead me back to the annoying "hero."

What did I do to deserve this? I have committed crimes in my life, but didn't they say that I was all clear? Didn't they say I succeeded in their little tests to redeem myself? Can't they just freaking leave me alone now?

Hahaha, you make me laugh. Wasn't Link my friend, you say? Oh, this is hilarious.

I was never friends with the fool. I had some time to think about things, and over the years one of the things I thought about most was the time I was forced to spend with Link. I admit that I said things that implied friendship, and I admit my actions may also have deceived you into thinking I actually liked him. The more I think on it, however, the more I come to realize that my actions were such because I had been under enormous stress and because I had been tired. Just think: stress can make you irrational, and believe me when I say no one can ever escape stress.

This does not mean that I would like to kill him like I had used to wish. I do not even hate him even though I find him annoying. In fact, I am indifferent about him. You don't believe me? Well, I do not want to see him dieā€¦but that is not the same as being friends. I can wish strangers to not die even though I am not friends with them. You are not convinced yet. All right, then let me tell you that I kept Link alive because he proved useful to me in my previous adventure: nothing more. It was only for selfish purposes I kept him alive. Handshake? That boy would never have left me be if I had not at least pretended to be friends with him. You are beginning to irk me. I do not like this particular topic you are persuading me to pursue. No, I am not in denial, you fool. Now shut up before I decide to end your pathetic life.

Confused, muddled, anti-hero, in denial, depressed, wretched: whatever name you decide to fling at me I will reject them with a firm standing. You don't know me.

But we digress. Whether or not I was friends with the fool is unimportant. What is important is the fact that I had planned to lead a quiet life after the last adventure and the fact that something is preventing me from achieving this goal. If I have to meet Link again, and in this case I believe there is a high likelihood of meeting him, I swear I'm going to go blow up the goddesses myself.

For the first time in my life I was set on staying away from civilization to just think and do nothing, and I had thought no one would have problems with that. You bloody idiots. If you want me involved, I'll make sure you remember what I'm capable of for all eternity.