Harnessing Chuck Bass

2x6 to 2x7

Chuck sits alone in his limousine. The spacious leather interior looks smaller now that it is practically vacant, now that Nate has abandoned him for that Brooklyn trash. Harry, the chauffeur, looks into the rearview mirror.

"Hey, boss," The uniformed man calls out. "We still heading back to The Palace, right?"

Chuck nearly nods before pausing. "Wait," he directs Harry. "There's something I have to do first."

Harry shrugs as Chuck bolts out of the limo. "Do I have time for a cup of joe?" He asks his young patron, but Chuck is already out of earshot. Harry sighs. "Damn."


Blair's Sidekick buzzes. She flips it open to read her new text message.

"Who's that from?" Serena asks as she flips loosely through the new Vogue. Even in their plush rental limousine, the ride back to Manhattan from New Haven is still boring. Especially since, Serena notes, rental limousines are less likely to stock champagne for underage clients.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Blair reassures Serena, her manicured fingers nimbly responding in a matter of seconds. It buzzes again almost immediately after and Blair's laughter scares Serena.

Serena raises her eyebrows. "New Gossip Girl blast?"

"Nothing you need to be worried about," Blair repeats as she sends another text and then sets her phone aside, ignoring it as it buzzes once again. "Hey, is that the new Marc Jacobs line?"


"So where to, Mr. Bass?" The chauffeur asks as Chuck gracefully reenters the car not fifteen minutes later.

Chuck is lost in his thoughts. Stopping by the Yale Admissions Office for the first time in his visit had proved to be a wealth of amusement. The Dean had been surprised to see the heir to Bass Industries pop in so early in the morning, but the old man sure looked embarrassed trying to hide his copy of Page Six. The humor there would have been enough to make the trip worth it, but Chuck had been there for more important things. Ensuring a place for his three best friends and him at the college the next year was no small task, especially with Serena's dismal grades freshman year. No matter that Nate is currently off gallivanting with Cabbage Patch and that his stepsister is taking a separate limo with his ex-girlfriend who hasn't spoken to him in weeks. It will all blow over, like it always does, and then the four of them will rule The Skull and Bones Society next year.

Thinking of Blair makes Chuck remember the text chat they just had.

"Take the scenic route, Harry," Chuck answers finally. "We're making a pit stop in Brooklyn."

Of all the places, Harry thought. Chuck Bass is certainly as devious as his father. There must be a particularly unpleasant personage in Brooklyn that Chuck Bass means to offend, Harry realizes. And offending people tends to mean more money in Bass Industries, which means more money in Harry's bank account. He is happy to oblige.


A sleek black limousine pulls up in front of a brick Brooklyn apartment building. Chuck looks up at it through the tinted windows and sighs. Then he straightens his lapel as if preparing for battle. At least he knows that the worst aspiring novelist in Brooklyn won't be there; rumor has it in New Haven that a famous Yale Lit professor is giving a reading at The Strand that afternoon.

Chuck abandons his transport at the curb and marches smartly up to the building entrance. No doorman, Chuck sniffs. Easy as pie. He buzzes the Humphrey apartment.

"Hello?" Vanessa Abrams' slick Brooklyn voice crackles through the intercom.

Chuck suppresses the urge to groan. He had been hoping for little Jenny Humphrey-younger sisters were always dying to take revenge on their seniors, and besides, she was such a delicious morsel. Still, using Nate's castoff isn't without its charms. "Hello there, I'm from the New York Board of Education with the information on homeschooling your household requested not long ago?" Chuck adopts a polished Manhattan accent for this, never mind that the Board of Education would never visit a student's home, much less on a Saturday.

Of course, the naïve poseur filmmaker would never know this, for all she pretended to be street smart about the city. "Of course!" Chuck can hear the glee in her voice. "Come right up!"

The door clicks and Chuck swings it open without bothering to say thank-you. He rides the ancient elevator up and knocks on the door. Vanessa lets him in without checking the peephole. Her jaw drops as he enters.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, after her vocal cords have recovered from the shock.

Chuck gives her a sour smile. "Helping Little J become the truant she always aspired to be."

Vanessa rolls her eyes in her trademark faux-tough pout. "As if. Get out."

Chuck puts a hand to his heart. "That wounds me, O Nate's Lower-Class Dalliance," he remarks. "Really, tell me another one."

Vanessa purses her lips.

"You're going to help me," he tells her.

"Am I now?"

Chuck nods condescendingly. "You're going to help your best friend get into Dartmouth," he instructs. "Isn't that nice of you?"

"What makes you think that I'd ever-" Vanessa pauses. "Wait. Why are you trying to help Dan?"

Chuck's face twists into a grimace. "Why should that matter to you? Don't you just want to keep him out of the hands of the upper class at Yale?"

"But-" Vanessa cannot reconcile the idea of participating in Chuck Bass's plan, even if it helps Dan, and she has no time to, as Chuck's phone rings and he holds a finger to his lips to shush her.

Chuck presses speakerphone. "Chuck Bass."

"How's it going?" Blair Waldorf confident drawl floats up into the air between Chuck and Vanessa from the Sidekick Chuck holds.

"Lovely, actually," Chuck enunciates clearly for the benefit of the girl across from him. "We're just finishing up here."

"Wait, I haven't agreed to anything," Vanessa interjects. Chuck throws her a nasty look.

"So she's in," Blair comments. "Lovely."

"Of course," Chuck responds. "I'll be at Chez Waldorf later, okay?" He ends the call abruptly.

Vanessa turns to Chuck pointedly. "What was that?"

"Oh, Abrams, you have no idea," The lion remarked to the lamb. "We're just getting started."


Serena sneaks a glance in the direction of Blair's bathroom. Blair has disappeared. Out of curiosity, Serena picks up Blair's phone and looks at the screen. It reads "NEW MESSAGE FROM: CHUCK BASS."

Surprised, Serena is intrigued enough to open the message. It simply reads, "See you tonight."

Serena's mouth drops open in shock. As far as she had known, Chuck and Blair had kept a respectable distance apart for the last few weeks. She had no inkling of the fact that her stepbrother and best friend were possibly rekindling their romance. Now a woman on a mission, Serena flips back to Blair's message Inbox and opens up the latest thread of conversation.

Chuck Bass (11:55:43 AM): How would you like Dumphrey 3,000 miles away?

Blair Waldorf (11:56:25 AM): I can't imagine a better future.

Chuck Bass (11:57:59 AM): Unless it involves me. Anyway, meet you later to bang out the details?

Blair Waldorf (11:59:33 AM): I'm so sure that the details are the only thing you want to bang, you mother chucker. Don't text me again until you have good news.

Chuck Bass (12:01:11 PM): No need for sweet nothings, I'm already yours.

Serena frowns. She can't imagine what is three thousand miles away other than the West Coast. But as far as Serena knows, Dartmouth is the furthest away college Dan is looking at. However, Serena wouldn't put it past Blair and Chuck to have ordered a hit on her ex-boyfriend.

As Blair returns to the room, Serena holds her cell phone up accusingly. "Are you plotting against Dan behind my back?"

Blair laughs. "Duh."


When Chuck enters Blair's bedroom, she is flopped lazily on the bed gossiping with Serena.

Chuck sweeps his arms wide. "Just how I imagined it. Only," he furrows his brows. "There were fewer clothes in the picture."

Serena groans. "You're disgusting, Chuck."

Blair cocks her head and rolls over to face Chuck. She is lying on her side, her Dolce & Gabbana satin wrap dress sliding up to reveal a pale slice of thigh. "Yes, you're so...dirty."

"Only for you, Waldorf," Chuck smirks.

Serena sits up. "And I'm out." She shrugs on her jacket. "No gossip in the world is worth watching the two of you flirt. It turns my stomach."

Chuck sits down on the bed next to Blair and predictably, she scoots away. "How did you convince Vanessa?" She asks, trying to keep the conversation going. Silence usually left room for their natural chemistry to bubble up.

"Very, very easily," Chuck dodges, sliding a finger down Blair's cheekbone. "You're not so easy."

Blair stays stock-still. "I would hope not," she manages to get out.

Chuck's finger becomes his hand, drifting to the nape of Blair's neck and burying itself in her lush hair. He leans closer. "Of course," he purrs. "What would be the fun in that?"

Their faces close in on each other and their lips almost brush when they jump apart.

"Agh!" Serena screeches as she happens upon the scene. "Forgot my purse, forgot my purse, leaving now!"

Blair jumps up and goes to sit in her leather computer chair. Chuck reclines against the plush pillows on her bed. They look awkwardly around the room, avoiding each other's eyes. Finally Chuck begins again.

"Vanessa's going to help us," He elaborates. "And you're still in, right?"

Blair smiles finally. "I guess I owe Humphrey an odd turn or five."


Across the city, where the apartments aren't so plush, Vanessa is talking to Dan in the Humphrey loft. "Maybe you shouldn't be so set on Yale, Dan," she pleads. "Maybe you should look at Dartmouth again."

Dan frowns. "What, you don't think I can get into Yale anymore? Whose side are you on, Vanessa?"

Good question, V. After seeing Chuck Bass leave the Humphrey apartment we know you always haunt, we're not sure of anything anymore. Is Brooklyn's indie princess cavorting with the UES elite now? Or is she just another pawn on the royal chess board?

Or, better yet, has V turned the tables on them all?

I'll be watching.


Gossip Girl

Blair Waldorf reads the latest Gossip Girl blast with a smile curving her lips. "Good," she murmurs. "V thinks she's in control."

"For now," Chuck adds with a grin. The two smirk in unison. Perfect.


Author's Note: I hope y'all like it! Sorry that this is kind of a chapter where I don't explain everything, if the next ep goes as I hope it does then I'll be able to explain where this is going, lol. And remember, reviews are always lovely :)