Freaky NGE story!



It is a day. Just like any other day. Nothing new happens, even if Angels attack and the world is upside down within the dome. I am Rei. Rei Ayanami. We live in this city. Tokyo3. We work, we live, we exist. For there is no 'Play' for us. We are Rei Ayanami.

Ikari stands in front of Eva 01, hands clasped behind his back and glaring through his glasses at everything. Shinji and Rei approach, walking along the bridge. Ikari stands silent, like a monument to damned superiority. Rei is silent too as she walks wearing her flight suit.

Shinji pouts at his father.

Ikari frowns at his son.

Rei blinks and looks up at 01.

Ikari clears his throat. "Shinji, you suck. Get in the giant robot!"

Shinji whines, "But FATHER!"

Ikari glares, "Shinji, you still suck, Rei, get in the giant robot!"

Rei says, "yes."

Shinji whines, "But FATHER! I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!"

Ikari glares, "Shinji! you suck! Shut up!"

Rei says, "yes."

Auska walks up, head high, she's wearing her flight suit.

Auska says, "Shinji! you suck. I'm better then anyone here!"

Shinji whines, "But-"

Rei says, "yes."

Ikari nods approvingly. "Shinji! you suck. Rei get in the giant robot!"

Auska whines, "But _I_ wanna go! Shinji sucks! Rei sucks too!"

Ikari glares at Auska. "Auska, you suck!"

Auska cries!!

Shinji cries!!

Rei says, "yes."

Kaoru rises up from the fluid from beyond the bridge and looks angelic. "Shinji! I love you!" he calls.

Ikari eyes Shinji. "Not MY son!"

Auska sniggers, "Shinji's got a boyfriend!"

Rei sighs and starts walking off.

Shinji eeks! "I'm not gay!"

Ikari glares. "Shinji, you suck! Go away!"

Auska falls over laughing then stops. "Wait! You're an angel!"

Ikari eeks! "Rei-" he looks around and finds that Rei is gone. "Auska! Kill the Angel!"

Auska giggles and jumps up and down happily. "Wai! Wai! Wai! Wai!..."

Ikari glares at Auska then at Shinji. "Shinji, you suck, get in the giant robot!"

Shinji whines, "But FATHER!!"

Rei comes walking back.

Ikari smiles, "Rei! get in the giant robot!"

Rei (in stereo) says, "no."

Ikari watches in horror as another Rei and another Rei and another and another and another and....lots of Reis walk out and all but one are nude.

Shinji has a nosebleed.

Kaoru has a nosebleed.

Auska blinks and laughs, "My boobs are bigger!!"

Rei (all of them) eye Auska, "no."

Shinji jumps into the water and is saved by Kaoru. "My love!"

Kaoru beams and disappears with Shinji.

Ikari glares at the place where Kaoru and Shinji were, "Fruitcakes! Shinji still sucks!"

Auska eeps as the Reis chase her around the labs and stuff. "Stop it!!"

Ikari blinks and looks up at the ceiling, finding 01's hand coming down-- squish!

Rei (all of them) laugh maniacally! "We take over world now!"

Auska screams defiance, "over my dead body!"

Rei (the third and only dressed Rei) levels a gun at Auska, "yes."

KAPOW!