Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all the quotes. I only added to her lovely ideas.
2. LONG NIGHT
"I miss you already." She murmured against my lips.
"I don't need to leave. I can stay…" I pressed my lips to hers.
"Mmm." I moved my lips with hers for a few moments. Despite how easy she thought this was, it was not. The flames that tore threw my throat whenever I was near her were torture. But the feeling of her lips, her skin, against mine was more than enough compensation.
I watched her face in the moonlight, so light and beautiful. She opened her brown eyes and I knew how lucky I was. She pulled her face to mine.
"No, no. It's your bachelor party. You have to go." She tried to sound convincing, but then her hands locked tighter into my hair and she pressed her body closer to mine. I smiled and grazed her face with my fingers.
"Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point." I shrugged slightly.
"True." She murmured against my throat. This woman would be the death of me. I took a deep breath, to calm myself, but her scent was alluring in so many ways. To make matters worse she ran her hands along my chest and stomach. I shuttered at her touch trying to resist the urge to kiss her. But she continued, her fingers leaving trails of fire along my stomach.
I kissed her lips gently and her delicate tongue glided along my bottom lip. The action warmed my entire face. I pulled away before it became too much. I could never risk my Bella's life.
"Wait." She whispered. One of her legs broke free of the blankets and hitched around my waist. "Practice makes perfect." She hugged closer to me.
Yes, practice makes perfect, but what she wanted was so dangerous.
"Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then, shouldn't we? Have you slept at all in the last month?" I remembered each night I spent with Bella in her little bed, our bodies entwined and so close.
"But this is the dress rehearsal and we've only practiced certain scenes. It's not time for playing safe."
Safe. Bella was never safe with me. She was safe from anyone or anything else, I would never let that happen to her. But I was not safe. She risked her life every moment we spent together.
"Don't start this again. A deal's a deal." She sounded stern. The most ridiculous deal. I shook my head.
"I don't know. It is too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this. I—I can't think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt."
"I'll be fine." She responded too quickly.
"Shh!" She pressed her lips to mine to keep me from speaking. I kissed her back, but gently. Always gently around Bella. I had to get her distracted.
"How are your feet?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Toasty warm." She smirked.
"Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind."
"Are you trying to ditch me?" Silly Bella. I laughed.
"Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."
"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through." She nuzzled into my chest. The rest, as in the transformation, losing her family?
"Can you? I don't mean the wedding—which I am positive you will survive despite your qualms—but afterward…what about Renee, what about Charlie?" Had she thought about them? About not being able to see them again? Was she so eager to give it all up for me?
A sigh escaped her lips. "I'll miss them." She said it too blandly, she was hiding something.
"Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike." I prodded.
"I'll miss my friends, too." What friends they were to her. I recalled Jessica's constant hatred toward my Bella. "Especially Mike. Oh, Mike! How will I go on?" She was such a bad actress. I growled and she laughed. "Edward," I loved how she said my name. "we've been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."
I understood so well. As much as I wanted Bella to live her life as a human, I…I couldn't think of being without her…ever. But was this really going to satisfy her?
"Frozen forever at eighteen."
"Every woman's dream come true." I shook my head.
"Never changing…never moving forward?" Her head tilted in curiosity.
"What does that mean?"
I considered my answer, I wanted her to understand, but I never wanted to upset her.
"Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married?" Her eyes showed understanding, she must have been replaying the scene in her head. "And he thought you were…pregnant?"
"And he thought about shooting you? Admit it—for one second, he honestly considered it." She laughed. "What, Edward?"
"I just wish…well, I wish that he'd been right." I admitted and dropped my eyes from hers.
"Gah." She sounded annoyed. She apparently didn't understand.
"More that there was some way he could have been. That we had that kind of potential." But there was no way. Frozen, never changing. "I hate taking that away from you, too."
She thought for a moment. I hoped, prayed, that she was changing her mind. That I had finally found one way to get her to. Maybe, there was the slightest glimmer of hope.
"I know what I'm doing." She stated. How utterly absurd. At eighteen years of age and she knows what she is doing.
"How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine."
"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine." She retaliated. "If it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did—we'll adopt."
She was so intelligent on every other subject. I couldn't believe how asinine she could be. "It's not right! I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human—" She stopped my sentence with her soft hand on my lips.
When she spoke it was with passion, love, kindness. "You are my future." But then she was just as fierce as I was. "Now stop. No moping, or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you need a bachelor party."
"I'm sorry. I am moping aren't I? Must be the nerves." I joked.
"Are your feet cold?" She smiled.
"Not in that sense." I leaned closer to her face. "I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the one that I can't wait—"
Ready for your first bachelor party? Emmett tried to hide their plans.
"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!" I let my head fall back.
"What's wrong?" Her eyes searched my face.
"You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight." She grabbed me tighter, like she had strength enough to hold me against Emmett's pull. Then she thought better and released me. I regretted it.
"Have fun." Nails scraped against her window and she cringed at the noise.
"If you don't send Edward out, we're coming in after him!" Emmett tried to sound evil. I'll do it. Jasper chuckled.
I looked to Bella one last time. "Go." She laughed. It was music. "Before they break my house."
I'm counting Edward. One…
I rolled my eyes and slowly slid out of her bed.
I pulled my shirt on and kissed her forehead.
Four, five, six…
"Get to sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow."
Her heart sped up. "Thanks! That's sure to help me wind down." She let out a low breath.
"I'll meet you at the altar."
"I'll be the one in white." She tried to sound nonchalant. I laughed.
"Very convincing." I sank into a quick crouch and jumped out the window, positioning myself to land on Emmett.
"Dammit Edward." I grinned and got off him before he could retaliate.
"You'd better not make him late." My love whispered.
Jasper jumped up to the window and looked in. "Don't worry, Bella. We'll get him home in plenty of time." Alice will not be happy if we don't. Jasper sent calming waves to Bella to help her sleep.
"Jasper?" She asked as he was about to drop to the ground again. "What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?" She sounded slightly nervous at the last part. I shook my head. Did she not realize what hold her beauty had on me?
"Don't tell her anything." Emmett growled quietly. I tackled him again and jumped up laughing. Just wait till later.
"Relax, we Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out." Unless you would like to go to a strip club, Edward? We could see what all the fuss is about. He smiled.
"Thanks, Jasper." She said breathily. He dropped back to the ground. "Let's go." Emmett shoved me and we ran.
After glutting myself on wild creatures, a few wrestling matches and winning multiple races, I laid on the ground and looked up to the sky. My brothers followed suit. Jasper's mind wandered to Alice. Emmett was really considering the strip club idea.
But I had to discuss one last thing with them. I had to do it now, last chance.
"What is it like?" I asked, not looking at either. I was embarrassed, but I didn't want to admit it. The one thing they knew that I didn't.
What? Emmett asked.
Curiosity, confusion, fear, and anger?
"It." I stressed the word hoping they would understand the connotation. Forever stuck as seventeen. I guess my hormones carried over because I wanted it. Despite how dangerous it would be for her I wanted it just as much.
Emmett sat up on his elbow and eyed me. I avoided his gaze.
"Are you afraid of getting married?" He asked.
"But you were so sure, so happy, elated. It was so hard to contain it." Jasper added.
"I'm not afraid of that." I rolled my eyes.
"Then what are you talking about?" Emmett was as impatient as a three year old. I rested on my elbows.
"What is sex like? I need to know, so I can be prepared." Emmett fell on his back laughing. So immature.
You are asking about sex?
Jasper was smirking too. "I never thought this would come up."
Once Emmett's roars of laughter subsided they both considered it.
"I guess Bella is different." Emmett said absently.
Jasper understood slightly more. "It is one of the greatest gratifications." Only one thing is better. Blood, human blood would be better.
"It consumes your mind." Emmett said. "Like you can't think of anything else." Like hunting.
I had once told Bella she couldn't be around when I was hunting, I was too afraid of what would happen when I let myself go like that. If she was around…no, I wouldn't let that happen. And if sex was like hunting…
"That is probably one of the best comparisons." But you've never hunted around Bella. I shook my head. Do you think you might…? His thoughts trailed off but I understood.
"Once she has a vampire she will never go back." Emmett smirked. "Do you think…?" He stopped his thoughts too. "You wouldn't. You've always had the best control. I mean, you resist her so much already."
"This would be different though. Even you said it was like hunting. If I lost my control…"
"You won't." Jasper reassured. "You love her." That is what keeps you from biting her. It will keep you in control too.
"I don't know if that will be enough." I lay back down.
"Eh. You'll be fine." Emmett shrugged. "Want to race again?"
"Come on." Jasper encouraged. Stop worrying. I reluctantly got up.
This is kind of a test chapter. I want to know exactly what you think, please. Good and bad. What do you like? What can I make better?
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