A/N: I'm not going to explain why I haven't written in a while, it's only a fact that I did my best to write a big chapter now. :)

NOTE! This chapter had some themes in it that might upset a few people, I'm really sorry for that. It was hard for me to write too. Sorry in advance, I really do hope that it does not upset any viewers.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, or any of the Twilight Saga.

The air was beginning to get hot on my skin as we drove. My brand new metallic black Lamborghini was flying through the express way at speeds only a vampire could handle. Running was the best feeling, but driving was close to it. It was all about the power surge. Watching the air fly past the sleek car contours showed me more about science that I ever learnt in Edwards's class at Forks.
Despite my vast hatred for the small town's wet abundance, I missed it greatly. I was now a very very old almost 19 year old. Those parts of my memory were gone, forgotten. I wasn't exactly sure how old I was when I was changed, and I knew it was too touchy a subject to ask my family.

Forks was the beginning of my life, or as Edward would say; Death. I don't believe that we are the walking undead. It doesn't make sense, since I didn't technically die. I never faded out. I witnessed all of my transformation. I think of it more like a science; a freezing of time. They say that Astronauts out of the earth age slower when out of the earth's arms. Who knew?

Forks. My human home.

That's where we were heading. I had no new news to report on Charlie and Renee. They stopped calling to talk to the Cullens. I just had to check it out. They used to call almost every week, checking to make sure I hadn't turned up to the Cullen's house; They hadn't believed I was dead. Renee had gone to Forks with Phil to stay with Charlie. They needed to be together; And yet no more calls. It wasn't that they suspected the family – Alice would have seen that.

Whenever I asked her what was happening, she went blank and said that his future was changing rapidly, she couldn't see which one would turn out. I had a feeling she was lying, so I left with Jasper to see my father. Well… From a distance. – As Jasper was repeating again and again. I was still a vampire; and one that had similar characteristics to their daughter.


"Bell, You know you can't. Seeing him will be hard for you, especially knowing you can't talk to him. But imagine the Volturi! They are obviously still watching you. If you talk to a human now… We can't assure that he won't realize your Bella, and see your changes. Please Bell, Please. Don't let them have a reason to lay a hand on you! I only just got you; it would kill me to lose you."


"Bell I'm being serious. You know how angry they must be about your last meeting. I'm begging, please please please be careful."

"I Promise Jasper, that if I cannot tell him without getting in trouble, I will not." Sealing it with a kiss.

End Flashback

We pulled into Forks at a slow speed. I guess I really was still my father's daughter. That burnt my cold still heart, and made it feel like it was almost beating again. My Father was the head of police, if I was caught speeding… well that would be the end of this hiding charade. We didn't have Edward or Alice to pick up signals – we had to go in alone.

It was weird, going along the twisted icey roads of Forks. I hadn't been on them in so long. If I asked Jasper I probably could have known, but I'm not sure if I wanted to. Charlie's silence scared me. I just wasn't sure how much time had past.
Had he stopped caring? Had Renee stopped looking?
I shuddered.
Jasper looked at me helplessly, since I had forbidden him from 'helping' me during this trip, unless I asked otherwise. Hey I dated Edward; I know how to be specific with my orders.

Jasper came to my seat and rested his hand on my cheek in an outward sigh.

"Be strong, my Bell." He whispered directly into my ears.

I smiled under his powerful gaze, drawing his hand close to my lips and kissing it.

He wrapped his arm around my frame, and we took off to the Swan house.

Never knowing what we would find.


The house was quiet, as I sat on the outside tree above my room. Just like Edward did.
It just sounded stalker-ish now, my my how times have changed.

I looked into my room, and remembered. My sheets where I tossed and turned, My books that were still stacked in all places unusual. I could see my CD that Edward had given me on my birthday and the keys to my Chevy that was parked outside like my tombstone. The room was oddly untouched. It was like no one wanted to mess with it. I could smell that Renee and Charlie had slept in the comfort of my sheets, more than once, and maybe even together. Just looking for that piece of comfort. Phil had been here too, I could smell him on my CD's and my computer. I knew he missed me; I was close to his heart. I tried to ignore the smell of their tears, but it was inevitable.

I sighed, closing my eyes and focusing on my shield. I searched the house for life forms, and there was none. I went into the window, carefully not touching anything that might trigger a stranger in the room. That's what I was now, A stranger in my own home.

I searched the rooms silently. The very first being my fathers, then the bathroom, and the kitchen. I remembered them all perfectly due to my memory, but this was different. The house was so empty. So without, that essence that all humans had.

No one had been here for weeks…

So where were they?

I ran back to Jasper who was waiting in the forest, hidden.
We would hide out for a few days; someone surely had to come home.

Please God, let someone come home.


8 days had past. With no movement from the house. I scanned with my shield, scanning for all forms of life. There never was any.

Where was my family?

Jasper held me tight, occasionally going hunting for minor animals to bring back. The days went by, pieces by pieces. I started to lose hope. Did not the house look older? Didn't the house have cobwebs along the framework? This town was older, and in my haste, I didn't stop to think.

They could be dead.

No that's impossible! I could still smell their scents from over here.

I stopped fretting when a car pulled up to the house, and Sam got out.
Jacob Black got out on the second side, and led Sam him into the house. Jasper and I followed through the back door. Jacob would have already known we were here, and according to Alice, they already knew about me.

Jacob looked the exact same as he did all those years ago. I never realized how much I missed my best friend, but he was never more. Especially not with Jasper in the room.

Jacob's face lit into a vast, face filling smile. It was my smile. But it didn't look like it was a rare thing on his face. He generally looked happy. He must have imprinted.

I came up fast and threw him into a big hug, and Jasper shook hands with Sam, who still looked grim.

"Isabella you shouldn't have come, in your current state!" Sam spoke very quietly, almost weakly.

I looked at him complexed.

"EXCUSE ME?" I asked, beginning to circle him with my feet, automatically flexing my shield around myself and Jasper, like it would help.

"You are baring me from MY house, after MY family has gone silent? Who the FUCK do you think you are Sam? How DARE you! Sure I might be a fucking Vampire. But this wasn't MY Choice! I wanted to be changed, but not like this. I was changed against my will. So tell me, Dearest Sam, why I am not allowed to inspect where people I care about have gone!? I am so sick of you people thinking you can run everything. You are the leader in the council of your Reserve! Not me! I have the Volturi on my back, my family on my back and now you!"

I was near bursting point; holding so much in for 7 days was never healthy for a vampire to do.

He looked stunned. "Isabella… "

"MY NAME IS BELLA!" I screamed. Running at lightning speed towards him, then stopping just before I hit him with my granite-like body.

"Enough of this Bells, there's no reason for you to take this out on Sam. He was just doing his best to protect Charlie, saying that you hated him and ran away… Sure it might have broken his heart and all, especially Renee. But they are still alive and you didn't have to break any rules… I don't know I can't justify this, I didn't agree…" Jacob trialed off, looking at Jasper in perfect distinction. I was about to hit the rails and they both knew it.

Jasper took my hand and kissed it, earning weird looks from both Sam and Jacob. That just pissed me off more.

I was visibly shaking from rage; my whole frame was trembling with it. I could feel the need inside me, wallowing to the surface. That cold hard rage that wanted me to tear him apart piece by piece.

"You told my father, that I hated him, and ran away. You told my FAMILY that I didn't love them." I spoke very quietly now, feeling my eyes go black.

Sam spoke calmly, as if he knew I wouldn't hurt him. He was wrong. "Yes, I did. It was what I should have done. You ran off with ONE of the Cullens," He said the last whilst glancing at Jasper. "And left me behind to pick up the pieces!"

I walked toward him slowly, raised my hand and blew cold hair into his face. I slapped him with enough force to behead a human and dry sobbed as he rippled with the force. Jacob came and grabbed my other hand, not angrily. We had an agreement. Sam had crossed the line.

"Where is he? Where's Charlie? Where's Renee? Where's Phil?!!!" I screamed, making him collapse onto the floor still looking cocky.

"You have broken this family. I went away because Edward had cheated on me. Jasper came with me and protected me, from others and yourself when no wolf could. I was taken by Edward in a jealous mindless rage, and he turned me against my will. He has been diagnosed with a mental condition, which I was in the middle of. I love my family, and you have broken them. For this."

I peeled to the floor and collapsed into pointless sobs, knowing no tears would ever come. Not anymore.

Jacob and Jasper helped me too my feet and led me to a chair, where Jasper took me into his arms and held me close.

"Your FATHER is in the hospital." Sam spat out, wiping the blood from his lips.

I froze.

Jasper placed me with Jacob and got to his feet. He stormed to Sam and picked him up. Putting one boot at the arc of his back and pushed with his foot, pulling back on his shoulders.

I heard the sound of a wolf whimpering.

Jasper looked at him with black eyes, that looked haunted. Jacob lifted me into his arms and led Jasper out the door into a car, one that looked like a renovated version of the car he build so many years ago. He placed me on the seat and Jasper sat next to me. Jacob formed into wolf and howled, probably telling them what just happened. I noticed that he looked more like pack leader than Sam. I knew it was his rightful place, but he must have taken the promotion. He looked at me and nodded with a sad wink. He did.

I saw to wolves in the forest, knowing they were taking Sam away, not being none too careful about it either. Jacob got into the car and started the engine. Speeding into the direction of Forks hospital.

Never knowing what we'd find.

We never did.


Forks hospital was full of humans and blood, but neither Jasper nor I were phased. We sped into the room after Jacob had told us he was unconscious and everyone else was with Billy for the… Preparations. I didn't ask what he meant. I didn't want to know.

The room was quiet and I was alone. But that didn't matter.
I was only concerned for one thing.

Charlie Swan.

In this room, he looked more than pale. He blended in with the white sheets and walls. He was part of the décor.

I read the clipboard on the end of the bed.

It read that he had a terminal cancer, but no one knew what type. He was having constant heart attacks, and everyone knew he had a short amount of time to live.

I ran to the bed and felt for his hands. They were hot, so hot. His whole body was racing with the heat. According to the chart, he had only had a heart attack a few minutes ago. He was going to die.


I sat there and wept. Telling him everything. I told him about how happy I was to move to Forks, to stay with my father. I told him how much my life changed. I told him how I met the vampires and the wolves, and how much I had loved Edward and Jacob. I told him all about how I tried to protect him, and how I thought he always knew. I told him about the newborns that threatened to kill me, the Volturi, my pain and why it hurt so much. I told him about what happened with Alice and Edward, I told him about running away with the love of my life, just like Renee was to him. I told him how much it hurt to leave him, but how much I tried to move on, knowing in my current state that I'd never see him again. I wept, and told him just how much I loved him and would miss him, and how much I was sorry that I could never tell him.

"…I already know Bells." I heard a whisper from the bed, I looked up, startled, seeing my father's eyes open and staring down at me.

I gasped and threw myself into him, hugging him tightly, but being careful of his delicacy. I heard a weak chuckle and it hurt my heart to hear it.

"I love you Dad. I love you so so much. I'm so sorry I wasn't the perfect daughter! I'm so sorry that Sam told you I didn't love you! I did Dad!" I sat there and wailed.

"I know Bells." He said, with a smile. "I was so worried that it was true. You know you mean everything to me kiddo." He smiled and stroked my cold cheek.
"This," he said, pointing at my form. "Is kind of hard to deal with, but I will. Look Bells I don't have much time left…"

I sobbed into him. "No Daddy no, please don't go, don't leave me."

He smiled, and stoked my hair, just as he did when I was a child. I never knew my father back then, I never understood.

"I'm just so glad I got to say goodbye, my baby girl deserves that. Be happy Bells, live your life for whatever I don't understand."

I sat there and nodded, sobbing with dry tears.

Jasper came in and nodded to Charlie, who nodded back.

"Look after my girl Jasper, take her hand and marry her if you want to, you have my blessings. Have a family and make her happy. For everything you have done, thank you, but thank you for everything you will do in the future for my baby girl too."

Jasper nodded and kissed my cheek, shaking hands with Charlie, and then walked to the door, sitting outside.

"I will protect her with everything I am, sir." He said, with a soft smile. "Forever."

I shuddered into my father for what could be the last time, unless…

"Dad, why don't you become one of us! You would be saved! Your illness cured, you'd be able to live forever."
I was almost frantic with the possibilities, until he shook his head with a smile.

"It's my time Bells, I can feel it. I have accepted my death, now it's time for you to understand it too.
I love you Bella. My dearest child. Tell Renee that I love her too, I always did and Sue, my new wife. Even Phil. Send my regards."

I sobbed my heart into his shoulder.

"No, no, no, no, no." I whispered.

His body stilled, and a tear ran down his cheek, but he smiled.

That moment Charles Swan died. His heart stopped, his lungs gave up and on his last breath. He whispered.

"I love you."

"Goodbye Daddy. I whispered, and collapsed into a heap beside the corpse who used to be my Father.


I ran into the woods with Jasper just behind me, he let me ahead to grieve. I ran past Quill and Embry, who where howling in despair at the death of my father.

I couldn't bear to say his name, it hurt on my lips. But I did it for my Dad.

I collapsed to the ground and dug into the rich earth. Pounding my hands into the forest floor. The pack and Jasper stood around me and watched in grief.

I slammed my fists into the ground and screamed, casting an echo over the valley in despair. Loss was never to be looked at lightly, never again.

Jane stood not 10 feet from me with a smile.

"Death hurts, does it not?" She whispered. Walking slowly to me.

"You have no idea what it feels like." I whispered.

"But I do," She whispered. She took my hands into her lap and wiped them of the dirt and leaves of the forest. Jane sat there in silence, using water that she had collected from a puddle beside her to cleanse my hands of the earth around me.

Jasper leaned into my back, and Jacob took my side. The wolves wrapped themselves around me in a tight circle with Jane and me in the middle. Alec appeared from behind us and came to join us. He stroked my hair and kissed both of my cheeks, whispering. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you here? Children of the Volturi? We have done nothing to expect death." I whispered in a tone that was trying for strong and failing.

Jane and Alec looked at each other sadly, before huddling closer to me and kneeling infront of me.

'Our father died over a hundred years ago, but we remember it. It was a story much too similar to yours; we would never wish this kind of pain on anyone." Alec said, drawing his hand to wrap around one of mine. Jane took the other.

"It hurts, does it not? It's the feeling of loss that hurts so much it's like they took a piece of your soul and left you in the cold." Jane whispered, shuddering.

"We are sorry for our discretion in the past Bella; we hope that you can forgive us. We will come and visit in a few weeks back at your home. The Olympian coven is most upset with the news of this death, and is waiting for you back home. We have apologized for our master's behavior; we pray we can make it up to you, especially how Alec and I have treated you in the past."

They got up, hand in hand and walked to the edge of the circle our friends had made.

"Go in peace, new friends." Jasper said.

They nodded and in silence, they ran.

Jasper huddled into me, with the wolves around me. I didn't complain, they were a part of me. A part of the old Bella that lived in a place named after a cutlery and loved with all of her heart.

I wasn't broken, I was saved.

And as I looked into the depths of the forest, I could see the faint outline of my old home, and the outline of what used to be my father's chair, where he would sit to watch the sports that night. My mother was there, just hearing the news. I heard that she would be moving to Forks with Phil now; into the old house.

With the memory of the family in her stride.

With the memory,

Of all that she had lost.
Her daughter, her late husband.
Both that she had lost.

And as her mother gazed out of the window, she saw the faint outline of someone she thought looked like her daughter, but when she ran outside, it was gone.

Just like the family that she had left behind.

Please Review, mild flames only please.

Thankyou for reading, there is probably only limited chapters left.