Title: No Regrets (1/1)
Warning: A/U, Implication of past mpreg
Characters: Jack/Ianto, OCs
Disclaimer: Torchwood and all it's characters belong to R.T.D. I'm just playing with them.
Summary: Jack and Ianto receive news they'd wanted to hear and some they didn't
A/N: This is a sequel to Leaving on a jet plane. This part is mostly just filler. Beta-ed by my cousin.
Two Months Later
He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as his other hand flushes. The dry heaves were the worst, but what was he supposed to do? He hadn't been able to keep anything down for the past week. Moving towards the sink, he stares in the mirror and grimaces at what he see. His skin is pale and clammy, his eyes are bloodshot and his entire face looks emaciated and drawn. He runs a shaky hand through his hair and grimaces again when his fingers catch on a knot. He'd clued into what was wrong almost three weeks ago now, but in no way was Jack going to tell Ianto. There was absolutely no way that he could handle anymore bad news right now.
Jack climbs the ladder slowly and has to take a minute at the top to regain his lost breath. He makes it to the door in two steps and pulls it open and steps out. The activities in the Hub were being done in the most fast and furious manner he'd ever seen anything done, probably due to the upcoming holidays. Unlike past employees, every single person of the 4 man team had a family and/or someone to go home to. He hadn't been jealous, in fact he'd been rather happy for them. Until, Ceridwen entered his life, everything changed after that. At nights, when everyone had gone home, he'd sit in his office feeling sorry for himself and angry. Ceridwen had him wanting something he thought he'd never want or have again, a happy ending.
Funny how things turn out.
Sucking in a deep breath, Jack double times it across the Hub and takes the stairs down to the lower levels two at a time. He opens the door to the first room slowly and peeks his head inside. Ianto is sleeping on his side with the comforter pulled up around his ears, he moans in his sleep as Jack closes the door. His hand rests on the doorhandle for just a bit longer before he pushes away and saunters back up the stairs. In the two months since Ceridwen's accident Ianto hadn't left the Hub once. He spent his days usually either sleeping or wandering listlessly around the Hub, the others had learned quite fast to ignore him and let him do whatever he wanted, and everyone had. Except their medic, Carrie. Out of everyone she was the only who made sure he ate. She was also the only able to draw even a ghost of a smile from the man. Jack would be lying to himself if he didn't admit he was jealous. But he knew he wasn't in any place to say so.
At night Jack would sit with him down in the room Ianto had claimed as his own. Most nights not a word would pass between the two, but others, it was almost like it had been years ago. They'd talk for hours and hours about absolutely nothing, but not once would either of them breech the subject of Ceridwen. Those nights would end with Ianto falling asleep early and Jack burying himself in paperwork and eventually passing out at his desk.
He halfway up the stairs when he hears Ianto scream his name and nearly flew back down the stairs. The door hit the back wall as he ran in. Ianto had his cell phone to his ear and tears running freely down his face. Jack strains to listen to see if he could recognize the person on the other end. Ianto laughs a watery laugh as his other hand comes up to grip the wrist of his hand to keep it from shaking. "Where are you?" Jack only hears a string of mumbles before Ianto's talking again. "What happened?" wide eyes are suddenly on him. "In a morgue?" and the bottom falls out of his stomach.
Ianto's attention is back on the conversation while Jack begins to retreat into himself. She was in a morgue. She woke up in a morgue. Oh god, she was like him!
His stomach rebels suddenly and he's on the floor next to Ianto's bed dry heaving into the waste basket. He doesn't stop until blood starts to be the only thing he can taste and see as drops of it fall from his mouth and mingle with the saliva and stomach juices in the basket. When he pulls back he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and then wipes it on the backside of his pants. Ianto's finished his conversation with Ceridwen and is now staring at him with wide eyes when he finally regains enough strength to stand. His pupils grow even larger when he spies the blood on Jack's chin that his hand had missed.
"My god, Jack, you're not well."
Jack tries to smirk but ends up doubling over as a sharp pain that began in his stomach quickly spreads through his entire body and leaves him nearly breathless. He feels frantic hands grip his shoulders and looks up. Ianto's staring down at him with frightened eyes. He tries to tell him that he's alright, but nothing comes of it, it takes all his energy just to stay up right and conscious.
"Hold on, Jack, I'll get Carrie." His hands leave his shoulders as he races towards the open door. "Just hold on!"
Jack hears Ianto's frantic calls for help, but nothing more as his legs give and his vision starts to swim. He keeps one arm fixed around his stomach and moves the other to the floor, and when he looses the ability to hold himself up, it becomes the only thing keeping him from doing a face plant.
Suddenly Jack feels himself being lifted up, but nothing more as he finally gives up the fight and closes his eyes.
When he wakes later on the first thing he realizes is that the pains gone and after a quick shake of his head he pushes himself into a sitting position from the prone one he had been in. Ianto's silently at his side in the chair he usually occupied and staring at him with unreadable eyes. He casts him a sheepish grin and moves to stand up. A hand on his wrist holds him back and he has to close his eyes and swallow hard when the memories it conjures up makes his stomach turn again.
Ianto's voice is low and remorseful when he begins to speak. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Jack opens his eyes and stares straight ahead. "You had enough to deal with, you didn't-"
"I did this to you. It's my fault. You should have told me."
"You weren't yourself, Ianto, I don't blame you."
"Damn it, Jack!"
Jack pries Ianto's hand off his wrist and hops to his feet. He fixes his shirt and redoes his suspenders before he decides to speak again. "Just leave it for now. We'll talk about it later." He dares a look at Ianto who is still sitting shell shocked in the chair, and tries to smile. "Let's just get your daughter home, huh?"
Jack makes sure he keeps his eyes on the ground as he makes his way across the Hub to his office and then proceeds to close the door and lock it when he finally makes it. He lies down on the couch, closes his eyes and shuts his mind off. He's out cold before five minutes have past.
He woke from his restless sleep to the sound of someone knocking at his office door and rolls into the couch with a groan. "Go away."
"Jack, it's Carrie. Can you let me in?"
He turns away from the couch so his voice isn't muffled. "Were you followed?"
"Ianto hasn't moved."
He pushes his tired body into a sitting position as Carrie comes in. He nods appreciatively when she closes the door behind her.
The woman leans against his desk and crosses her thin arms over her chest. "When were you planning on telling me?"
"Seems to be the one million dollar question today, doesn't it?" he goes for humour, but it falls flat.
"You almost died."
He shrugs his shoulders carelessly. "Wouldn't have done anything."
"What about the-"
His eyebrow rise. "What about it?"
"I thought you and Ianto-"
"A long time ago. It doesn't matter now."
Her confusion was palpable as she stared down at him. "But I thought you and him already had a-"
"We do." He shoots from the couch and heads towards his desk. "She's on her way home."
"Home isn't Cardiff, is it?"
"No," he answers. "She lives-well, lived with her father in Newport."
"Are you the one that had her, Jack? Have you been pregnant before?"
"No and Yes. Ianto had her, I just found out about her two years ago."
"So, Ianto's like you." Carrie turns to face him. "I'll have to run a couple tests-"
His eyes shoot to hers. "You'll do nothing of the sort."
"But, Jack, if Ianto is capable of-"
"He's too old now, Carrie, so just forget about it."
Carrie stares but says nothing further and Jack looks down at the forgotten papers which cover inch of his desk top. He looks up again seconds later when he hears the door click. He watches Carrie until she disappears below to the Medical Bay, and then leans back in his chair and pinches the bridge of his nose.
The door clicks again a few minutes later and Jack politely tells Carrie to bugger off. "It's not Carrie." The easy Welsh accent makes his shoulders sag so much his shoulder blades nearly touch.
"I just want to know if you want me to be in Newport when Ceri gets home."
He shakes his head and raises distressed eyes to meet Ianto's lost looking ones. "I want to see my daughter, Ianto."
"I know that. I just can't stay here."
"Why not? You've been here for-"
"I didn't think you wanted me to stay."
"I'll get a room-"
"Do you want me to stay, Jack?"
"I think Carrie would kill me if I let you go."
Ianto nods and turns towards the door. Jack doesn't realize until much later that minutes after leaving his office, Ianto leaves the Hub.
Later on that night, as he lies away in his bed, he tries to feel remorseful about Ianto's departure. He tries to feel like a bastard. He tries to feel anything but relieved. But can't.
A month later
He receives a quick message on his phone the day Ceridwen returns. Ianto says she looks rather bruised and exhausted but overall well and then says something in Welsh so low he's hardly able to hear it nevermind understand it and then hangs up. He's dialing Ianto's number as soon as he figures out what he had said. After two of the longest seconds in Jack's long life Ianto answers. It takes a couple tries before he's able to speak. "You miss me?"
"Yes." Ianto's voice is even, smooth, and one of the most infuriating things Jack has ever heard. "I was wondering how long it would take you."
"Is Ceridwen there? Is she alright? Have you told her?"
"Yes, yes, and no. Once she gets settled I'm going to bring her to Cardiff. Figured it may help if we're together."
Jack nods and then jumps. "Don't bring her here! I'll meet you nearer the bay."
"Why mustn't I?" Ianto finally lets emotion slip its way into his voice. Jack isn't the least bit surprised to find himself on the receiving end of a rather surprising amount of anger. "She's more than capable of handling-"
"I know, Ianto." It takes everything Jack has to not roll his eyes. "I figured meeting outside would be more neutral than here. She may not handle the news well, I want to give her an escape."
It's a while, but Ianto finally agrees. "Yes, you're right."
Jack's just about to speak when Ianto cuts him off. "I got to go. I'll phone you later," and hangs up.
He lies awake all night for the second time in a month and goes over what he plans to say to both Ianto and Ceridwen, especially Ceridwen, when they finally meet. He goes over every scenario in his head, the good, the bad, and the horrible and finds every single scenario ends up the same. Him alone.