YO!! Van here again

so i was bored and i decided to write another fanfic except this time it'll be funny

summury: What will sasuke, 16 years old, do when the dobe comes up to him and asks him the Question that will change their lives?

warnings: male X male pairings, in other words soft yaoi, in other words hint of hot male smex!! muahahahahaha . . . ahem my inner deborah took control for a second. I apologise for the inconvenience. Oh yea and there will be sakura bashing. :D

Bold sasukes thoughts

Italics inner sasuke


At sixteen years old, sasuke was the epitome of what we could call a loner. He had no friends, or he did but he just refuse to recognize them, and he had no sex life. He woke up early every day, trained then went back home. The only thing that changed in his monotone routine was maybe a blonde interferance he called "dobe" although sometimes the pink neon sign (1) tagged along with "The Dobe".

Not that sasuke didn't have everything he wanted . . . sort of. He hadn't avenged his clan and he still didn't have uchiha babies. Although he was unnaturally handsome what with his pale skin, black hair and smoldering black eyes; he could have anyone and i mean anyone. He could have men ranging from ages 12 to 60 (even straight men) and he could have women ranging from ages 9 to 70 but he didn't want anyone. He just wanted to kill the weasel (2) and restore his clan somehow.

So that leads us to where our brooding male is now, on this bright and sunny morning heading to the usual meeting area for team 7.

pff I could have killed Itachi if naruto didn't get involved.

sasuke thought glaring at nothing in particular

Uhuh suuuurreeee. Just be happy naruto saved your pale arse! If he didn't pull you out of there Itachi would have insinerated you before you could say "weasel".

Inner sasuke said in a matter of fact kind of voice.

Itachi was going blind! i nearly had him!

Yeah i wonder why he was going blind . . . he might've seen sakuras hair and started to go blind because of the color!

the voice said with an evil snicker

Hn. Yeah even a blind man can see her.

sasuke thought with a smirk on his face.

Soooo when are you going to tell the walking neon sign that you aren't as straight as a ruler?

straight as a ruler? are you implying that i'm gay?

Nooo i would never say that. I'm just saying you're as straight as a ruler bended into a 90° angle

the voice said with an innocent voice . . . yeah right

I am not gay!! I'm asexual!!

sasuke thought furiously approaching the bridge.

Denial is not a river in Egypt, but it clearly floats your boat.

the voice said with a smug tone.

Sasuke growled low in his throat as he approached his teammates.

"Good morning sasuke-kun" sakura said with a huge grin on her face, entering his personal bubble.

She looks slightly constipated, oh no wait that's her usual expression.

sasuke felt the corner of his lips twitch giving him a slightly homicidal look.

Sakura took that as a sign to step away from sasukes personal bubble.

He kept walking past sakura until he found his favorite spot. Resting his weight on the rail and the bridge he looks around looking for the dobe.

Hn.

Do i hear a hint of sadness in your tone?

No, you got confused with my happiness.

Ah yes, that must be it since you're always a little bundle of joy i can never tell the difference. What a shame.

He was about to respond when a loud shouting stirred him from his thoughts. He looked over at sakura who was now yelling at naruto for something.

Wow, do you think we could write on her forehead and hope the message reaches Itachi?

It's large enough.

just then a ray of sunlight hit her hair.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!! MY EYES!! IT BURNSSSSSS!!

sasuke let out a chuckle, making the other two stop and look at him. When he noticed their looks, he just glared at them and turned away.

I thought i was going blind!!

Yeah, maybe then you'd shut up.

You're sooo mean to meeeeeeee! even if i did go blind, i'd talk more, because without the use of one of my limited senses i'd have to use my other sense a lot.

No you don't have to. You could just be blind and quiet.

But then i wouldn't be able to annoy you.

Yeah like right now.

He thought not paying attention to the voice. Then he noticed something near him, he looked towards the source to see naruto looking at him with a confused expression on his face. He was about to ask the dobe what he was looking at when their sensei arrived.

"Yo!" He said waving a little "Sorry i'm late, i had to help a dolphin." He said smiling, well it kind of looked like he was smiling but with that mask of his, you could never tell.

"You're late!!" Sakura and naruto yelled at him.

"Heh sorry" Kakashi answered chuckling. "Anyway today we're going to be sparring. Only taijutsu." He says walking away. Team seven following behind him.


Two hours later, sasuke found himself starring at naruto's butt.

Told you, you were gay.

Hn.

He thought back still looking at narutos butt, then his roamed narutos whole body.

Since when has naruto's body been like THAT?

He asked the voice, looking at the small bead of sweat rolling down narutos bare chest and into his pants.

A while now, but mister "i'm-not-gay-but-asexual" wouldn't have noticed even if naruto was dancing naked in front of you naked.

the voices words conjured up images he never thought he would imagine.

He closed his eyes trying to erase those images.

WHY? you know you've always wanted him, it's just you never noticed!!

Yeah but it's naruto! he's my best friend and rival! how could i want him?

I don't know maybe it's the fact he's not like everyone else trying to impress you by being what they're not. He's your exact opposite, but he doesn't try to please you like everyone else does, he actually tries to put you back in line.

. . . How long have you been practicing that one?

For a while now, thank you very much.

Sasuke was sure that if the voice could, it would turn away and pout.

Stupid perverted voices and their insightfullness.

So does that mean i'm right? Oo?

Heh, maybe.

He thought tuning the voice out, smirking a little at its outraged cry. He was so intent on the conversation he was having with the voice that he didn't even notice naruto and kakashi talking conspirationally near a tree.

It was only when kakashi announced that training was over for the day because he wanted to go visit his sick dolphin did sasuke actually pay attention to what was happening around him.

"Okay so you guys can go home, but sasuke i need to talk to you." Kakashi said, his right eye going into a upside down U shape.

He waited until everyone was gone to ask what kakashi needed.

"well, i was thinking while you were sparring that, i haven't given you anything that will uh help you." Kakashi said with a twinkle in his eye.

"If it's icha icha paradise, i don't want it." sasuke said flat out turning to leave.

"wait sasuke trust me this will help!" kakashi said grabbing sasuke and then handing him a book with a blue cover.

sasuke glared at the book, then at the man holding the book.

"Will you leave me alone if i take it?" he asked, after receiving a nod he took the book and walked away mumbling about "perverted senseis", "hair that defies gravity" and "why he has gray hair(3)". Kakashi looked after him a second longer before poofing and disappearing.

After eating, sasuke felt bored. It was still to early to sleep but he decided to try anyway. he headed up stairs to his bedroom, entering into a cream colored room with random kunais around the place, a poster of itachi on the wall with kunai's sticking out and some other random scrolls. Taking off his clothes and putting on his pj's, he pulled the covers of his bed and was about to lay down when he heard a 'thunk'. He looked at the floor and there lieing innocently on the floor was the blue covered book Kakashi gave sasuke earlier that day. Having nothing better to do, he picked it up and layed in bed ready to read it, although he would never admit that to Kakashi.

He looked at the cover where he saw two guys standing back to back smiling coyly. He opened the book and skipped all the useless pages where the author talks. Then he saw the first page. After reading for five minutes sasuke wanted to put the book down, well actually it was a manga. Who knew his sensei read that. Then when he was about to put the book down, he saw one of the male characters of the cover kiss the other one. Thinking he was going slightly mad, he rubbed his eyes using his palm, then looked back at the page. It was still there. He turned the page and continued doing that, seeing the male characters kiss turn into a full blown make out. Then characters started getting undressed. Even though he thought he should put the book down he kept reading until it got into the sex scene. He stared wide eyed at the page, mouth slightly agape. He couldn't believe his eyes. He kept looking at the page then tilted his head to the side, trying to get a better view.

Better view of what may i ask?

the voice said with a smug tone. Sasukes cheeks automatically heated up.

Shut up! I just wanna see err what they are doing. It could be something else.

What else could they be doing? the horizontal polka? oh wait that's the same thing.

The voice said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Grrr

Oooooh feisty!

the voice said laughing.

Sasuke tuned out the voice and continued reading the manga.


'BANG'

Sasuke looked around, but saw nothing. Thinking something happened, he sat up. The manga that was covering his face slipped and fell on his legs. Looking around blinking, still half asleep, he didn't understand what was happening.

Genius my arse

The voice said

What's happening?

Fox boy is downstairs, he's been knocking on the door for 10 minutes now.

Oh.

he said getting up, walking down the stairs heading towards the door, where naruto was calling out his name.

"Teme!! are you in there?" naruto whined.

rolling his eyes, sasuke opened the door and then glared at the dobe.

Said dobe was about to knock again when he noticed the raven. He looked him up and down blushing, then looking at sasuke's eyes blushing even more.

Sasuke raised an elegant eyebrow, now what has gotten in to the dobe?

"What do you want dobe?"

sasuke asked still glaring heatedly at naruto.

"Sasuke err could you um get changed?"

Naruto asked sasuke still blushing. Sasuke not understanding why he should get dressed, he looked down at himself. Oh that's why.

He looked down, noticing he was bare chest, with his pj pants riding low on his hips, showing all his muscles.

Hmmm interesting

the voice all but purred. Thinking that the voice might be onto something sasuke decided to taunt naruto a little. Resting his weight on his right leg, making his left foot step back a little and putting one hand on the door way while the other hand ran through his messy black hair, he asked with a sexy smirk:

"Why does the way i'm dresssed bother you?"

Naruto eyes widened and his whole face became flushed.

"yeah it does, now stop stalling i have important question to ask you!" naruto said gulping.

Sasuke smirked.

Maybe i do affect him. Think i have a chance?

With the way he's blushing i'd say you have more than a chance.

the voice affirmed. Sasuke taking that as the signal, leaned towards naruto and purred in his ear "what do you want dobe?"

He felt naruto stiffen before he murmured quietly. "Kakashi told me to see you and ask what yaoi was about."

sasuke blinked rapidly, before he smirked a feral grin.

"heh, i'll show you what yaoi is"

sasuke said before grabbing naruto and pulling him into the house.

From the outside you could hear loud protesting, silence, quickly followed by loud moans.


The next day, sakura was waiting for her beloved. Sasuke or naruto had turned up yet. Even Kakashi was on time although he was grinning like mad. Five more minutes later sakura could hear feet making their way towards them. She looked towards the source of the noise to see sasuke walking with his hands in his pokets next to naruto who was slightly limping.

Before she had a chance to speak up and greet the love of her life, kakashi spoke up.

"So? Naruto did you get your answer?" kakashi asked with a knowing twinkle in his eye.

Naruto was about to respond when sasuke placed his hand over narutos mouth preventing him from smirking.

"Don't worry kakashi I should him everything" sasuke said smirking down at naruto who had gone red and tried to hide hsi face in Sasukes hand.

"What does he mean kakashi sensei?" sakura asked.

Kakashi looked at his only female student then at Sasuke who had an evil glint in his eye. Thinking it would be best to let him answer kakashi poofed away.

Sakura starred at the spot where he sensei was before turning to her teammates, confusion visible in her eyes.

"well what i meant was that i finally showed naruto here what yaoi is and what happens when you have 16 years of sexual frustration."

Sasuke answered, before walking up to her and saying:

"I'm sorry sakura it would have never worked out between us, i'd have been blinded by your hair color." He said smirking. "Now naruto let's go see how high your voice can go." He said smirking taking narutos hand and running back to the uchiha mansion, where they were not seen for a few days.

Sakura stayed there watching after them, for all of five minutes before using her overly large forehead to think up a new plan. Well if she couldn't have sasuke-kun, might as well have a free show. She thought running after them, camera in hand.

Yup life is good when you're a yaoi fangirl.


Hehe that was fun. Now just to make everything clear, i'm actually the inner voice. I decided it would be much more fun to be the inner voice and not just the narrator.

So i hope you enjoyed so leave some reviews even if it's criticism, it always helps.

(1) It's sakura

(2) It's itachi, coz itachi means weasel in japanese

(3) Can anyone guess why he has grey hair? pervy smirk

Ja!