Look, it's Rosalie's new fic I just came across. It's a oneshot this time. Let's see.
Bella Swan Is An Ass, written by perfectangelrose.
"Edward, you suck! Because You love Bella, but she's an ass!" Rosalie screamed. "Go away, I hate you forever, you ruined my life!"
"Your right Rosalie! Oh, darling Rosie, I'm so sorry! I'm going to employ Lord Voldemort to turn her into an apple! Ha!"
"Yay!" Rosalie replied. "Oh yay!"
Looks like it's not finished yet, I'll stay out of it.
"ROSALIE! HAVE YOU BEEN WRITING BAD FICS ABOUT BELLA?!"
Ohoh, looks like Rosalie is in hot water with her brother. Looks like a showdown I can't afford to miss.
"What are you talking about, Edward?" Her innocent act doesn't fool me, and it certainly does not fool Edward. Oh my. If vampires could go red with fury... well, I'm sure Edward would right now. Aww, Esme's licking my face! How cute! I am referring to the puppy, by the way...
"No, Esme, bad girl!" Jasper scolded, scooping the fluffy thing up. "You can't talk to crazy human stalkers."
Well, I guess I know when I'm not wanted.
"No offence, but Esme wants her first blood meal to taste nice."
Esme drinks blood? Great, a vampie puppy dog from hell.
"Now, Esme, it's time for Sunshine and Roses!"
Damn, Jasper's getting fond of that damn thing (And feeding it happy pills called Sunshine and Roses, very imaginative name Jazz). Esmeé must be feeling even worse! I have to go and comfort her - ohh, CHOCOLATE! No, wait... sorry. False Alarm. Yeah, anyway, let's go find Esmeé. Wait! Who is that person Leah is sitting on? Oh. My. Edward. Or should I say oh my Carlisle?
"Oh no! My only love loves my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!" Esmeé cried.
... Right, now she's modifying Romeo and Juliet quotes to suit her. SO, Carlisle's busted. Do vampires get divorced? I'm sure they do, I mean, to spend forever with one person... how BORING!
"Yes?" Rosalie replied innocently. Oh oh, What has Rosalie done now?
Ohh, look, there's a big fat manuscript on the desk, how exciting! Wonder what it says...
The Anti Bella Book
A Collection of stories about evil things happening to Bella by Rosalie Lillian Hale.
Ohh, look, theres the melon story! And loads more! Hey, look at this one, it's pretty cool looking.
AN: the next chapter is purely Rosalie's fic, and then we'll get down to business with the other stuff again!