I worte this story a while ago but didn't post it here, it was actually my first Torchwood story. Slightly AU for season 2 finale was written before it aired, prologue and chapter one have been put together :)
Characters: Ianto (first chapter), Everyone and Jack/Ianto for the rest
Rating: PG-13 ??
Spoilers: Nothing in this first chapter
Summary: "I have this dream" Ianto begun as he looked up at the woman sitting in front of him. "I'm not sure what it is… memories from a life forgotten; or just me going crazy."
Author's Notes: No beta yet. All mistakes are mine. Also I'm Australian so spelling might be different.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood (There would be a lot more boy action if I did)
I see him standing in front of me; so beautiful and strong. He is talking, I can hear him but I don't understand the words. I feel his muscular arms around me and find myself wishing I could stay like this forever. I look up at his beautiful face and stare at his memorizing blue eyes. I've never felt safer…
"I have this dream" Ianto begun as he looked up at the woman sitting in front of him. "I'm not sure what it is… memories from a life forgotten; or just me going crazy."
"What happens in this dream?" She replies and Ianto watches her as she shifts her green notebook slightly as she adjusts her self.
"Not much Doctor" Ianto tells her with a dry laugh.
"Obviously something happens in this dream other wise you wouldn't have mentioned it."
"Well Dr Carter, It's just me and a man… Holding each other" Ianto replied as he watched her write something quickly then look up at him. 'She is far to cold to be a therapist; or maybe that's how they are meant to be' Ianto found himself thinking.
"Are you gay Ianto?" She asked.
"I like who I like. I don't feel the need to label myself" Ianto said in a brisk voice.
"Who is the man in your dream?"
"I don't know; all I know is that when I have this dream and I'm in his arms it feels like home, like I belong" Ianto told her as he played with the lighter that was in his hand.
"Do you think he was someone you knew before?" She asked.
"I've been wondering the same thing myself. I think he might be, but at the same time I wonder if it's my subconscious telling me I'm lonely" Ianto said looking at the clock; he needed a smoke and this session was only starting.
"You have friends, a job, and a life. Why are you lonely?" Dr Carter asked.
"Because none if it seems real. My whole life feels like a nightmare that I can't wake up from; I feel like I'm meant to be somewhere else. Sometimes I think I am someone else entirely"
"That's normal for someone in your situation Ianto. Tell me are you still trying to find your family?"
"No; It's too hard when all you have to go on is a first name" Ianto replied. "I do wonder though, if they miss me, or if I even have a family."
"Do you think this man in your dream could be family?"
"I know he isn't. When I'm with him in my dream its feels intimate, like I love him or something; different then family" Ianto told her. "When I wake up his face fades, I can't seem to keep it in my mind. All I can remember are his blue eyes looking at me intensely… It's all rather strange."
"What do you think it is, a memory or something you've created?"
"I don't know" Ianto replied honestly
A/N: So this is very short but it's just an introduction. All chapters will be much longer I promise. Questions will be answered next chapter. Also this will be AU from season 2 final obviously because it hasn't aired lol (When I wrote this many months ago)
Chapter 1: Where Do The Good Go?
"We're going to die aren't we?" I hear my own voice say. I don't sound scared; it just feels like I'm stating the obvious.
"Ianto…" The man with blue eyes says in a low voice.
"Well, I know you won't. But I have the strongest feeling that I'm not going to make it out of this one, and I'm okay with that. When you work for Torchwood long enough you understand that's just part of the job." I look up at him and smile nervously. "But I don't want to leave this world without at least having told you the truth."
"The truth" The man repeated my words sounding slightly confused.
"Yes; the truth. I love you, and it's okay that you don't love me, you've given me more than I ever expected or hoped for."
Ianto woke up suddenly with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. That dream had been different from the others; it felt more real. The man's face slowly faded from his memory as it always did. Ianto tried his hardest to recall it but as always the only things that remained were two bright blue eyes.
"Torchwood?" Ianto whispered to himself as he sat up in his bed. In the dream he remembered mentioning Torchwood. "What the hell is Torchwood?"
"I saw Ianto yesterday." Tosh said to Gwen in a hushed voice. Gwen looked at her and then towards Jack's office before moving closer.
"The supermarket; he was buying coffee beans." Tosh laughed.
"Did he see you?" Gwen asked her.
"No... I made sure to stay out of sight. I didn't want to trigger his memory." Tosh replied as she looked around the hub nervously; the last thing they needed was Jack hearing this conversation and getting into one of his moods.
Gwen scoffed as she rolled her eyes, "Nothing could trigger his memory. The amount of Retcon Jack pumped into poor Ianto… Lets just say I'm amazed he didn't overdose."
"Gwen…" Tosh said, not wanting to have this conversation again.
"I know, I know." Gwen replied in a frustrated voice. "I'm not meant to get into this anymore."
"We can't change what happened Gwen." Tosh told her softly.
"But doesn't it make you angry?" Gwen asked.
"Jack did what he did to protect Ianto." Tosh replied. "Maybe he didn't go about it the right way, but he did it for the right reasons."
"He took away Ianto's whole life, nothing justifies that."
Jack sighed as he looked down out Tosh and Gwen whispering to each other. He knew they were talking about Ianto; Gwen always had a look of moral outrage on her face when the subject of Ianto was brought up. He sighed loudly as he walked back to his desk and sat down.
It didn't matter what they thought of him – he was beyond caring anymore. The looks that they had given him during the first few months that Ianto had been gone... They had been hard to deal with on top of his grief over losing someone he cared about deeply. However, he knew he had done the right thing so he ignored the looks and comments and hoped that things would just return to normal; they hadn't.
It didn't help the Ianto had turned up in Cardiff for some reason; Jack still didn't know how that had happened. They had placed him in a hospital in London with a cover story and all. But somehow his beautiful Ianto had found his way back to Wales.
"Jack, you want coffee?" Owen asked. He was standing in the doorway of Jack's office.
"Are you making it?" Jack asked in a disgusted tone – Owen's coffee was the one thing that Jack was sure could kill him.
"No, Gwen is going to go out and buy some. Not for me of course since I'm dead and all." Owen replied bluntly. "And there is nothing wrong with my coffee."
"It's great if you want your taste buds to fall out of your mouth and die" Jack replied dryly.
"Maybe we should think about hiring someone, you know, that makes coffee and stuff." Owen suggested in a soft tone. He knew that bringing up this subject could lead to intense bodily harm.
"I don't think that's necessary." Jack told Owen, keeping his voice and face neutral.
"Right… Okay… So, coffee?" Owen replied uncomfortably.
"Sure." Jack replied with a fake smile.
"Sure I'll hold." Ianto replied into his phone. He was sitting in a small café waiting for his friend Jenny to arrive for their weekly 'bitch and moan about work' session. While he was waiting he decided it was time to call Doctor Alex Bell again. The man whose face had been the first thing he saw when he woke up from the coma that had stolen his memory.
Dr Bell had explained that he had been hit by a car and found by the side of the road near central London, that his memory loss would be permanent and that he was sorry that more couldn't be done. Dr Alex Bell was also a liar; Ianto could see that the older man wasn't telling him everything from the look in his eyes.
When the nurse brought him the one single object they had found in the pockets of his clothes, Ianto had been surprised to see it was a receipt from a Cardiff supermarket; 'Your name is Ianto' was also scribbled on the back. Ianto found this strange since people usually didn't know when a car was going to hit them or that they would lose their memory from said accident. He had immediately scribbled down the same words to see if the handwriting matched; it didn't. He was left wondering who had written him this strange note and what had really happened to him. He was hoping to find answers in Cardiff, but over a year had passed and still nothing.
"Ianto." He heard Dr Bell say.
"Hello Dr Bell." Ianto replied and he tried to figure out the best way to start this conversation.
"What can I do for you today Mr. Smith?"
"Well… I was wondering if you've ever heard of Torchwood..." He figured it was best to just get right to the point. The silence on the other end of the phone told him everything he needed to know.
"No… Sorry. Why?" Dr Bell's voice was completely devoid of any emotion.
"No reason, thanks anyway." Ianto said before flipping his cell phone shut. 'What is Torchwood? What happened to me? Who is the man from my dreams? What is going on?' the same thoughts ran around Ianto's head over and over.
"What's wrong with you? You're staring into space like an idiot." Jenny said as she sat down across from him.
"Nothing." Ianto replied as he gave her a small reassuring smile. "Hey, have you ever heard of Torchwood?"
"I don't get your sense of humor." Jenny laughed.
"What?" Ianto asked confused.
"You're kidding me, you don't know about Torchwood?" Jenny said with a look of disbelief across her face.
"No. What is it?" Ianto asked casually trying to hide his desperation for this information.
"It's like government black ops or something. Top secret stuff, nobody really know what they do, just that if something weird happens they show up. Apparently they answer to nobody; it's all very cloak and dagger. I think they deal with all the weirdo freaks; my friend Liz says they're alien hunters" Jenny laughed. "Nobody really knows what they do, just that they exist."
"Where's their office?" Ianto asked.
"Don't know, it's all secret." Jenny told him. "Rather strange if you ask me."
"How do you contact them? There has to be a way!" Ianto knew he sounded like a frantic weirdo but he didn't particularly care.
"No idea... Why are you asking about Torchwood?" Jenny asked giving him a strange look.
"Just curious, I heard someone mention it." Ianto replied trying to calm himself. He didn't want to tell Jenny about his strange dreams and the man.
"Well trust me, all of Cardiff is curious but there are no answers about Torchwood."
"Right." Ianto said a little sadly as he looked over out the counter. A woman with black hair was staring at him intensely. He hesitated slightly before giving her a small smile which she returned before picking up her three coffees and quickly exiting the café.
"I think she fancied you." Jenny said.
"…Maybe" Ianto replied, wondering why he felt so uneasy all of a sudden.