I have a problem with Lily/James. It's evil I know, but yes I do. As part of my continuing effort to write pairings I mostly dislike, I present to you such a fic

Title: Damned if you do

Rating: T (language)

Pairing: Lily/James

Summary: Perfect together, but only she knows the truth.

It should have been perfect. She knew full well she was the most gorgeous girl in the room, that her robes were the last word in style, and that even the pure-bloods merely snubbed her instead of making the usual damning comments (which was a victory in itself.) She was waltzing dreamily with the most eligible man in the room- at least since Lucius Malfoy had been taken off the market, and it really was rather enchanting. She felt light as a feather, tossed on an invisible scented wind, within the arms of her port in the storm

She found herself looking up into James Potter's brown eyes as they remained fixed upon her, his hands gently round her waist in the most gentlemanly manner possible. Thank God for that at least. So many pure-blood wizards assumed that muggle-borns were up for it all the time. Robes tugged up, and knickers pulled down against the wall in Greenhouse number Seven, like Tracey Ellman and Richard Corner. They'll fuck them but they won't marry them. They'll fuck them, and then terrorise them in masks and robes until their minds crack, and spend their days gibbering in a locked ward.

Not the really classy ones of course. They wouldn't even dream of touching a mud-blood, of looking at her with desire. James Potter was the exception, and she was going to marry him. Because he loved her, because he desired her, because he could protect her against the worst of the ravages against muggle-borns. Because all she had to do was be his wife, and give him a child, and she was safe. Mr Zabini might even kiss her hand, rather than shake it as he had deliberately done earlier. Voldemort would spare him, spare them.

So he'd thrown a few childish insults at her when she was young, and overweight rather than slim, plain rather than pretty. So he had bullied and harassed his way through his Hogwarts years. It didn't matter. Because bad memories are better than death.

And of course it was such a pity that James Potter chose to defy Voldemort. The Potter name would have been strong enough to protect her, and their child.

They should have been perfect. They weren't. But love doesn't matter. Not when you are running scared.

Reviews welcome