Summary: And what if we fail? Or are never truly loved? What then? Can we ever measure up? "I can't do this anymore" these were the five words that would change their lives completely although they did not know it at the time. This was the moment their views on love would change forever. BL One Shot.
A/N: So I don't write but Brooke's opening quote from 605 really hit me and I decided to try and write how I feel she has never truly felt she has been loved through out her life. Basically everything up until 605 has happened and I have my own version of 606 and beyond.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or the characters or the songs used in this fic.
Song List (in order): Apologies by Grace Potter, Konstantine by Something Corporate, Come Home by OneRepublic, Say (All You Need) by OneRepublic, Sober by Butch Walker, Stop and Stare by OneRepublic, Pieces by Red, Cigarette Lighter Love Song by Butch Walker (Marvelous 3), The Taste of Red by Butch Walker, Closer by Burn Season, The Best Thing You Never Had by Butch Walker, Stateline by Butch Walker, Don't Move by Butch Walker, Ships Inside of a Bottle by Butch Walker, Breathe Me by Sia and Joan by Butch Walker.
And what if we fail? Or are never truly loved? What then? Can we ever measure up?
Yesterday he said my eyes
Were fading fast away
I said well what do you expect
You asked me not to stay and if it had all been for the best
I wouldn't feel this way
And he said
Oh he said it's crazy
How love stays with me
You know it hurts me
Cause I don't wanna fight this war
It's amazing to see me reading through this scene
Of love and fear and apologies
"I can't do this anymore" these were the five words that would change their lives completely although they did not know it at the time. She walked away with regret in her heart but she couldn't bare the pain of what she thought was true and when he the only words he spoke were "Brooke... I'm sorry" she knew she had to turn back around and keep on walking.He however did not know those were the only three words that would make her turn her body and walk way again faster than the first time. And all he could do is sit and stare as she walked away without a third look back to him. This was the moment their views on love would change forever.
And you're restless And I'm naked
You gotta get out, you can't stand to see me shaking, no
would You let me go
I didn't think so
And you don't wanna be here in the future
So you say the presents just a pleasant interruption to the past
It hurts me thinking
That those nights that we were drinking
No they never got us anywhere
"I can't do this anymore"these were the thoughts in her mind as she entered her New York apartment after spending and evening with Lucas Scott. A night in which she thought was going to be spent catching up with an old friend. Instead it was the night she learned the boy that still had her heart had proposed to her best friend only to be turned down, followed by a brief talk of the past and their fake engagement brought on by a mistaken waitress. And then a carriage ride where they planned their future together being a power couple, having 2 boys and a girl, spending their summers on the beach and winters in the south of France but really it didn't matter where they were as long as they were together. And then they made their way back to Lucas's hotel room and she laid him on the bed in his half drunken state and tells him she will take care of him and then she will take a cab home. In this moment he decided to pull her closer to him telling her "or you could stay" before crashing his lips on to hers. In this moment there are a million different things running through her head. Mostly she wants to stay there on his lips forever but something inside of her pulls away and she tells him she needs to go but not without telling him that he will change the world someday and he probably won't see her for awhile. As he watches her walk away he says nothing just sits and stares at her as she walks away and he looks into the palm of his hand at the ring she had placed in his had seconds before turning her back and walking away. The ring that was meant to be on her best friends finger but the scene of her walking away cuts deeper than Peyton turning him down and he didn't know why. She walks into her New York apartment with him still fresh on her mind and it's this moment she decides to go into business with her mother, Victoria as she would rather be called. He was the boy she would have given it all up for but this time it was "I can't do this anymore" was that she needed to forget about Lucas Scott.
Hello world hope you're listening
Forgive me if I'm young and speaking out of turn
There's someone I've been missing
And I think that they could be the better half of me
Their in the wrong place trying to make it right
And I'm tired of justifying
So I say to you Come Home Come Home
Cause I've been waiting for you for so long
"I can't do this anymore" these were the words she spoke to her best friend Peyton, if you could even call her that as they haven't spoken in months but this particular night Peyton decided to give her old best friend a call. Peyton spoke of her uncertainties in Los Angeles, about how she wasn't happy living the dream she thought she wanted, about how she missed the friendships that shaped her through out the years and that she just wanted to go home. And home was Tree Hill, North Carolina. Brooke didn't speak much about her life only questioned Peyton on hers only to be secretly thinking of herself. Brooke questioned about her being happy, finding what she needed in life, wanting a family or finding the love her heart longed for when in reality these where things Brooke Davis wanted herself. She wasn't happy truth be told. She had been hiding in her work since she was 17 well days away from 18 years old. She threw herself into a dream she thought was everything she wanted. Brooke wasn't happy in New York, it wasn't her home so she decided she'd join Peyton on the journey of going home. Truth was she couldn't do it anymore, the lifestyle and demands of New York and her mother, Victoria. She needed to go home.
Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
"I can't do this anymore" again these where the thoughts in her head that she just couldn't escape from. This time it was about wanting a family, no needing a family. She had asked Lucas to meet her at her store, Clothes over Bros which resided in the very place that used to be his mothers café, his safe place while growing up and ironically it turned into her safe place as an adult, well as much of an adult you can be at 22 years old. Lucas was getting married the very next day but she felt he was the only one she could tell her secret to so she did. She told him of her wants and needs to have a family and how she wanted to adopt a child. This came only days after she fired her never there mother from her company. She had escaped the wrath of Victoria at least for now and hoped she could grasp onto the family she felt she deserved and not the fucked up version she received thought out her life. He looked at her with confusion at first but once he saw the lost and lonely look in her once cherry hopeful eyes he knew exactly what she was thinking and it brought him back to the same moment himself.
"I need to tell you something"
"Brooke what's going on?"
"I think I'm pregnant"
"You think or you know"
"My dad didn't want me ok, not that he just didn't want to claim me he didn't want me to be born. And I thought that when I started a family I'd be older and settled and I'd be…"
"Yeah, but so did my mom."
"No look, this whole thing scares the hell out of me ok, but whatever you decide to do I'll be there and if you're not ready they you're not ready but if you want to have this baby then so do I and whatever it takes for me to be a good father I'll be there always, I promise you, I won't let you down….Hey"
"I'm not pregnant"
And at that moment the two of them took themselves out of the memory that was too painful to continue and as their eyes met there was a feeling of comfort that graces both of their faces. At that moment Brooke thought I can't do it anymore, be alone with all this love I have in my heart for a child.
I didn't know time could move so slow
I got nowhere to go, the silence is so deafening
Waking up on the wrong side of your mind
How could I have been so blind? To see I'm loosing everything
Is it? Or is this over?
"I can't do this anymore"this time it was Lucas's mind that these very words came to. It was precisely 28 days after Lindsey had left him at the alter. A day where both of their dreams were supposed to come true, but she left anyways; because of Peyton. He had done all he thought he could do, he chased after her, he told he would wait for her, he told her he missed her and loved her and one day she would feel that same ache he felt and return to him but sadly by the look in her eyes he didn't think she'd ever return to him. It was that same look Brooke had when she told him the very words that are in his thoughts and even though Lindsey didn't say them he could see the words in her eyes. Why was it the women that his heart gravitated towards always left him because they thought he loved Peyton? Why wasn't his word enough for them? He didn't know what else he could do to prove Peyton was not the person in his heart. He thought to himself I can't do this anymore, I can't let her ruin the love in my life anymore but the truth was she already had and that's the thought that scared him more than anything.
Something pulls my focus out and I'm standing down
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go no where
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I'll become what I can't be
"I can't do this anymore" these thoughts echoed in her head as she waited impatiently with Lucas for Angie to come out of surgery. She was given this precious little girl by default of the agency but they still thought she was capable of taking care of her. She wanted so much to believe that she was ready to do this and take on the responsibility but the doubts surrounded her mind constantly on whether or not she was doing well, if she was doing enough, if this little girl knew she was loved and it had occurred to her in that very moment that she never spoke those words to the little girl she adored so much, she never said I love you to her. With Lucas at her side she blurted her feelings out something Brooke Davis was not prone to doing but she did "I never told her I love her" and he responded "I'm sure when Angie's in your arms she knows it, Love doesn't really needs words" That moment brought her back to almost every embrace the two of them had ever shared and she turned to him with a smile. But that didn't change the fact that part of her felt she couldn't do this and she was going to an unfit mother if and when that time would come. She couldn't believe in herself anymore, the way she used to anyways and that scared her.
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard thought I could to this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
"I can't do this anymore" Lucas thought in his head once again a thought that had been haunting him for years now but more recently just months. He sat at the bar taking shot after shot, day after day thinking about where his life went wrong and why. He thought mostly of Lindsey and why she had decided to start dating again and again why his love for her was just not enough. This brought his thoughts to Brooke for a while and how their friendship had grown in the time he was hurting over Lindsey. He thought of how nice it was to have a friend, a friend who wasn't telling him his heart was conflicted but just being there for him and although he thought it would be comforting it tore his heart apart a little more as he couldn't pin point why Brooke ever left him either. The pain was too much to handle so he drank it away as much as he thought he could be he still had questions in his mind each morning when the hangover from the day before would set in. Why? What? Where? When? And it would eventually reach wondering IF he would ever find love again. And at the thought of that he downs another shot. He couldn't do it anymore, think about the pain in his heart that just won't go away.
Everything's supposed to have a happy ending
But the record keeps skipping and the needle keeps bending
Like the road I'm driving to the bridge that has no end
I wanna take back everything that I've broken
But the bridges behind me are burning and smokin'
I guess this is the end
All that I do, comes back to you
So I'll just think about you
'til there's nothing in my head
All I can do, is try not to screw this up again
And just be friends, I'd rather be dead
"I can't do this anymore" these thoughts race through Brooke's mind again. This time it's different than the last. This time she has a little girl who she's taken care of for many months to let go of and give to her real family. This little girl who has brought her and the man she's afraid to admit she loves together for the last few months. She tries to play it off as her helping him move on from Lindsey but really she's loved the company herself. Peyton has tried to be there for her with Angie but she's just not the motherly type. She complains about Angie's crying more than Angie actually cries and Lucas is just good with her. He plays with her, holds her, talks to her as if she had any idea what she saying, feeds her, everything. He's become such a big part of their lives and it comes as a bit of a shock to Brooke at first but she knows exactly why he's spending so much time with them. He needs to take his mind off of Lindsey so Brooke continues to invite him to spend the day with them except on days where she just wants her all to herself. So when she gets the call that Angie has to leave suddenly the only number she thinks to dial is Lucas'. She leaves him a brief message stating that Angie is leaving today but not to come to the airport she will call him later with the details. As she give Angie away her eyes well up with uncontrollable tears and she turns to leave and through the crowed she spots Lucas Scott, the one person she called and the one person she told not to come but as they meet through the crowd she wraps her arms around him and collapses from the pain she is feeling in her heart and they stand in each others arms both broken and alone but some how in this moment they are connected and together. She couldn't do it anymore pretend that the walls around her weren't caving in and she wasn't broken.
Well I tripped and I fell
Into a hole I know so well
And I don' think I'll be
Leaving for awhile
And this lump beneath my skin
Is the home I let you in
All it took was just your
Red lipped biting smile
And damn damn damn I love you
"I can't do this anymore" Lucas says to himself as he enters Brooke's house to make sure she is still ok after Angie has left. He can tell she is very broken hearted over Angie needing to leave exactly eight days sooner than the original plan. He comes to see her to tell her how good she's done with Angie and how she has not only saved Angie but that saving people is what she does. She did it for Rachel and him as well. She proceeds to tell him she didn't tell anyone else about Angie leaving because she doesn't like to feel vulnerable in front of anyone, (anyone else but him that is), even if the words don't come out he knows that is what she means. He tells her that vulnerable is how he always sees her and he thinks it's beautiful. She goes on about how they have been through a lot together but she wouldn't have gotten through a lot in her life, especially today, without him. She then gives him the purple monkey that she bought for Angie but fell out of her bag on the way to bringing Angie to the airport. She doesn't know it but this means more to Lucas that she could ever know. She plays it cool, and tells him that she loves him but the way she says it is in a playful friendship way and his returned I love you seems more as if he is actually in love with her and it catches her off guard so she smiles and turns away as he walks out the door, smiling from ear to ear. He couldn't do it anymore, let her believe that she didn't mean the world to some of the people in her life, including him.
Some say I kicked myself right in the face
I'm not as I seem.
I'd erase what you say
Scramble words in the way
But you can't take away
Fuck with me
"I can't do this anymore" Brooke screamed to herself after hanging up furiously from Victoria. The evening before Victoria had come to her home demanding that she was taking the company from Brooke weather she liked it or not. Brooke didn't know how to respond so she yelled at her mother stating that without her the company was not anything as she was the one who did the actual work of creating the sketches and there was no way they would chose Victoria over her. Brooke felt she had to fight her so she called her the next day stating that she was going to fight for her dream of this company and if Victoria wanted to fight she'd have to fight her for it. Little did Brooke know she would be face to face with a masked man only seconds later who would throw her across her own store, her own designs flying along with her already fragile body and continue to pouch on her and bludgeon the pretty girl's face, neck, arms and thighs. She was passed out from the pain and awoke to her store destroyed and her heart and body more violated that she thought possible. With a few swift punches he took away everything she had been working towards including her attempt to mend her already fragile heart. She couldn't do it anymore be the strong woman Lucas Scott helped her become over the years.
You were the one
Who drove my ass right to the ground
When you act like nothing ever happened
I feel like I should feel bad, and I can't like
Someone who thought they're the only one that mattered
While my heart got shattered like romantic roadkill
My heart is all splattered your ego got fatter
And I hope that you're flattered
Cause you broke this down
"I can't do this anymore" were the thoughts running through Brooke's broken head, body and soul as she dialed her best friend's number to tell her about the attack she endured the night before. As Peyton answered she seemed happy which was something Peyton had not been feeling in the last long months they had been home. And then the words that would shatter her more than she thought could be possible in her state at this moment happened. Peyton told her that she and Lucas were engaged. She told her best friend that she was happy for her but needed to go and hung up the phone and in that instant it brought her back to day she never wanted to relive again.
"Brooke…. I think I still have feelings for Lucas"
"You mean you care for him.. as a friend?"
"No, I mean more than that"
And Brooke felt as if her heart was breaking like that day all over again. But this time she felt she had no right. Lucas was not hers this time. She had no feelings for him like that, they had been over for years. At least that's what she told herself for years but she was still and would always been in love with him but the difference this time was no one knew it, not even him. So how could she blame them this time? Sadly this time it was her fault so she did what she did best and buried it deep within her heart in the place it had been since the day they broke up beginning of senior year.
So I'll drive a straight line
When I cross the state line
Out on to the ocean, in a moment I'll be gone
Then you wont have to feel torn
"I can't do this anymore" she told herself bravely as she boarded her plane to New York. It was nearly a week and a half after the attack. The attack that she told Peyton, Haley and Nathan was a simple fall down the stairs. She hadn't seen or talked to Lucas, she could bring herself to face him. She had overheard a conversation between him and Jamie as they were packing up Peyton's room for her to move into Lucas' and Jamie asked if he ever loved Aunt Brooke and it was followed by a snicker from Lucas and "Long story". All she could think to herself as she lay broken on her bed bruises from head to toe was, long story? You are fucking right long story Lucas, you had me chose Peyton, had me again this time we were in love and again you chose Peyton, ok so yeah I let you go and pushed you towards her but if you wanted me all you had to do was fight, and yet I still love your stupid undeceive ass. Her thoughts brought her back to Victoria as she didn't want to think about Lucas anymore. She had many face offs with her mother Victoria but this time was going to be the last if she could help it. She knocked on the door and walked in bravely, gun in hand, set the gun on the table and she fiercely sat herself in the chair next to it. Her mother looked shocked but Brooke thought nothing of it as she brought up the attack in which Victoria told her she would never physically harm her, emotionally on the other hand Brooke thought was a whole different story. Victoria continued to confess she never wanted kids and that Brooke's father only wanted a son and how she wished she could have a clothing line at her age and how she gave Brooke everything she ever needed. "Except your love" Brooke blurted out before walking towards the door stating that Victoria could have the company, all of it, Brooke was out and Victoria was left with her dream, a clothing line and no daughter. She couldn't do it anymore hold on to a dream that was being ripped from the seams from her anyways and not the dream she wished for to begin with.
As I get used to you
It's all gonna be alright
I did all I can do
And as I'm waiting for those eyes
To say what's on your mind
I finally think I've found the words to say
So baby, don't move at all
'Cause you're about to break my fall
Stay where you are
Staring at the stars
Don't ever move at all
"I can't do this anymore" Brooke thought quietly in her big empty house before she grabbed her keys with the thought of going to tell Haley the truth. She needed to tell someone and Haley was her best friend, her real best friend the one she had no resentment for or jealousy or anything she was just her best friend. As she raced to the door to open it she was shocked to open the door to a familiar face pulling out a key to open the door at the same time. At this moment she was face to face with Lucas and she tried to get words to come out of her mouth but nothing seemed to come out as she tried to speak. As he saw her try to speak he spoke first "Brooke, I just came to see if you were ok". She responded with "I'm fine Lucas I was just on my way to see Haley, why wouldn't be ok anyways." "Peyton told me you fell down the stairs but really Brooke stairs don't leave those kind of marks and I know I should have been here a long time ago and I'm sorry" I'm sorry from Lucas Scott was not something Brooke wanted to hear right now, she had just gotten the courage to go and tell Haley about what happened and by some chance or fate or destiny whatever you want to call it's Lucas that ends up at the very door she's trying to escape from and trying to get her to talk. She was fine with telling Haley, she came to terms with it but not Lucas, he was engaged to her best friend and it killed her but him knowing this made her think it would kill her more. She didn't need Lucas to save her she is Brooke Davis and she can handle this on her own. But then he gave her that look, the look that makes her crumble and cave in to anything, the look that says he cares and not because he thinks he has to but just because he does. Her mind wanders to Peyton for a second, wondering if she knows that Lucas is here checking up on her right now and as suddenly as the thought entered her mind Lucas' arms are wrapped around her and she beings to crumble. She cries uncontrollably as Lucas moves her on the couch. They sit face to face and Lucas says "Brooke I'm here when ever you are ready to tell me and even if you are not, I'm here". At this moment Brooke hesitates for a few more minutes before burying herself into his chest and telling him everything. She tells him about Victoria coming and threatening to take the company and when she finally decides to fight she's attacked by a man that she still doesn't know the identity of and how she stayed hidden in her room as he, Peyton and Jamie packed up Peyton's things and moved out but not because she wanted him but she was afraid to loose her friend and about how she gave the company to Victoria because she just seem to want it anymore and it just wasn't worth it. She cried until she fell asleep in his arms. She couldn't do it anymore, hide from the pain that seemed to be changing the amazing person she way day by day.
Tryin' to stay afloat inside a place you can't survive
Are we breakin' down?
And I don't wanna know if there's another part of me
Don't wanna feel if I'm alive
Don't wanna smell the bed where we used to sleep
I'm gonna miss it again, miss it again
Just wanna walk away from the ashes
And take the fact that I've been burned
And maybe let you know I'm still standin'
If you miss it again, miss it again, I'm around
"I can't do this anymore" Brooke told Haley over the phone as she laid on the floor crying in the place that was once her store but now is just empty space where she was making a wedding gown for Peyton. As Haley walked into the store she saw a broken and defeated Brooke laying within the material she knew was for a wedding gown. A gown that was to be worn by her best friend to the man Haley knew she still loved. When Haley approached Brooke the tears had slowly stopped and she was left with only a blank stare at the dress she was supposed to be sewing stitch by stitch for the wedding everyone thought was meant to be, everyone but Brooke. As Brooke continued to stare off in the distance with Haley by her side the only words she could get to come out were "I love him, I've always loved him, I never stopped" Haley sat next to her fragile friend and brought her in for a hug and said "I know Brooke, I know. It's all going to be ok" What Brooke did not know was Haley received two other phone calls similar to the one Brooke had given her. Lucas came to her only days ago to ask Haley if she thought he was doing the right thing and Haley could only respond with "Lucas do what's in your heart and what you feel is right." Lucas protested stating that he couldn't do this anymore, he didn't feel him and Peyton were right, and that he had made a mistake. This time there was no other girl in his heart it was just him feeling it wasn't the path that was right for him. She gave him a hug and told him "It's all going to be ok" And a few days before that Peyton came to her in the middle of the night expressing how she couldn't do this anymore, that her and Lucas were not meant to be, even though she thought for so long they were, this time was different and it just wasn't right. Haley again told Peyton as she embraced her in a hug "It's all going to ok". A few days later after Lucas and Peyton expressed their doubt to each other they ended the engagement and the relationship for good this time. They both knew it was what they needed and what they wanted it. And Brooke was a bit relived she didn't have to do this anymore, make the dress for the wedding of her best friend and the man she loved more than anything.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
I am small
Warm me up
And breathe me
"I can't do this anymore" was a thought they both had at the same time as they drove closer to each others home that fateful rainy night. Lucas and Brooke had been spending a lot of time together lately just being the friends they knew they always could be. They spent time at the Blue Post playing pool and drinking beer, legally that is, in which she kicked his ass in every game no matter how hard he tried to win. They took walks along the beach just talking about anything and everything, getting re acquainted with who they both used to be. They would spend afternoons and occasional nights babysitting Jamie for Nathan and Haley so they could get away together. Lucas would try his hardest to pry the Instyle Magazine from Brooke's hands to give her a book he recently starting reading and thought she'd enjoy as well. They had their Wednesday night movie night in which they'd each chose a movie to watch and more often than not the two of them picked "Weird Science" and they would fall asleep in each others arms. They would go to the river court every Tuesday night where Lucas would attempt to teach Brooke to play basketball but usually it would end up in them sitting in the center of the court with Lucas telling endless stories of the times he had with Keith, his mom, Haley, Nathan and Jamie over the years and how this would always be his place and hoped one day his son would grow to love it just as much as he did. They were becoming friends again and they were falling in love all over again at the same time. Brooke had never really fallen out of love with Lucas but for her to completely convince herself that she was in love with him she needed to know he loved her back, she didn't want to chance that broken heart she had endured twice before. For Lucas he had always known she never left his heart but he didn't believe that she loved him back, not since she broke his heart in two that horrid day at the beginning of senior year. He always figured she moved on and forgot about the love they shared but up until the recent months of spending time with her day in and day out he realized she may love him back, at least he hoped she did. They both decided today was the day they couldn't do this anymore, they couldn't deny the feelings they had for each other any longer so they both decided they would make the first move. Little did they know the events that would take place next…
After all this time
You were waiting on the ride
To stop at the place where they slowly misplaced your life
Go get it right
Lucas stood outside Brooke's door ringing the door bell in the pouring rain as Brooke stood outside Lucas' door knocked a few times before opening the door to his all too familiar bedroom to find him not there. She grabbed her phone and dialed his number hoping he'd pick up.
"Well hello Brooke" he answered
"Lucas where are you?" she questioned
"Umm Brooke I'm at your door at your house where are you?" he chuckled
"Lucas, I'm standing in your bedroom"
"Ha, so you just let yourself into my room I see"
"Well Luke, I'm Brooke Davis, it's what I do, what are you doing at my house anyways"
"I just came to see you, why are you in my bedroom?"
"I just came to see you, hey so how about we just meet at my store, or what used to be my store, it's in the middle anyways."
"Ok see you in a few"
They both park in front and run to the door to get out of the rain when Lucas stops Brooke at the door still standing in the rain, he pulls her towards him.
They look into each other eyes and they say simultaneously "I can't do this anymore"
And again at the same time "Can't do what?"
They both laugh as Lucas tells Brooke to go first but she tells him "No you are better at this than me" and they share a smile.
"Why did you break up with me all those years ago? And I know exactly how many down to the day by the way"
Brooke gets lost in her thoughts for a second and they land on Peyton confessing her love for Lucas to Brooke the day before Nathan and Haley renewed their vows, once again.
"I think I still have feelings for Lucas"
She contemplates weather or not to tell Lucas about Peyton's confession and comes the conclusion that she will leave that piece of information out, she didn't want Peyton to come between them, not this time and it didn't really matter anyway Peyton had her shot, twice and they didn't work out. Brooke is still in her daze when Lucas grabs her hand and whispers her name wondering why she hasn't responded yet and she blurts out.
"I was lost and scared Luke. So I ran away"
He looks deeply into her eyes and without hesitation asked the one question that had been residing in his mind longer than he could remember.
"Brooke, did you stop loving me?"
Brooke steps back from him lets go of his and puts up the wall she is all too familiar with close to her heart.
"Lucas, I, ah…"
"Brooke please just let me in this time, let me in the way you begged me to let you in. Don't run anymore… I want to be with you and I know you want to be with me too, otherwise why did you say it?"
This leaves Brooke overwhelmed and a bit confused as well.
"You said I can't do this anymore, why Brooke and what can't you do anymore?"
"Luke, because I just can't, ok, I spent so many nights telling myself that I didn't love you and I couldn't love you but the truth is…I never stopped…But…" She makes a point to say the last part much quieter than the rest of her declaration as she looks into his deep blue eyes and let one tear fall down her cheek.
Lucas catches her tear just as it's about fall and wipes her cheek, rain pelting down upon them he grabs onto Brooke's hand and pulled her close to him and they are now just inches apart. And in this moment he knows what she needs, he had broken her heart to many times before and she was scared again and he needed her to know exactly how he felt about her and why.
"Brooke, I love you, I really do, these past few months have been amazing, I've seen you smile more, laugh more and I've fallen in love with you more with each day. I don't know how it happened or why it happened it just did, maybe it was the day we were babysitting Jamie and I watched as you chased him around the room or the day you fell asleep while watching Weird Science and you still were quoting the lines in your sleep or maybe just maybe it was that day on the beach where you opened up to me about how you wished so much that your mother would just love you like you needed growing up and how you feel it caused you to hesitate to love anyone" as he is speaking these words his mind goes back to:
"I know I made the right choice"
"Yeah, that's where they get you. Thinking you got a choice. Love finds you, son. You don't find love. Got a little to do with destiny and fate and what's written in the stars" an old wise man states to him.
Lucas chuckles and a grin graces his face as he continues to tell Brooke how he feels.
"Look I can't explain it ok but this time I will let you, the way I've been letting you in over these past months. I want to be the one who makes you believe in love again, the kind of love you never felt you were given throughout your life. Because you did that for me, you taught me how to love again and how to feel again and showed me that you have always been the only girl in my heart and as scary as that may be I don't want to run from it anymore. You saved me Brooke Davis"
Through out his speech to her she had more and more tears fall from her beautiful and brave face. She hoped that they got lost in the rain but she knew he saw the tears streaming down her face. She was finally letting down that wall and allowing him to see her, all of her and at that moment she gave him a kink of her eyebrow and a crooked smile before whispering,
"You saved me too Lucas Scott"
That was all he needed and he knew he was looking into his future with her. He brought his hand up to her face as he brushed her hair behind her ear and wiped the tears she was trying to hide from her cheek and before they knew it the both of them come crashing onto each other's lips for a kiss they have waited years to share together. They stood in the rain taking in the kiss that seemed all to surreal to the both of them and as their kiss deepens Lucas spins Brooke through the door and onto the lonely couch that sits in the empty boutique. He lays her down as they continue their not wanting to let go of each others embrace and they break apart for moment as Lucas whispers "I love you, pretty girl" and in her raspy voice she whispers "I love you too, boyfriend." And the two of them cuddle up to each other on the couch and fall asleep in each others arms with a sign above them stating "Someone once told me that this is the place where everything's better and everything's safe"
At this moment they realized that the words "I can't do this anymore" that shattered their worlds would be the very words that would save them 6 years, 104 weeks, 734 days and 17544 hours later. And the two of them believed in love again.