Disclaimer: Chuck belongs to NBC. Boo!

This fic is just something silly I wrote over the weekend so I hope you find it funny. :)


Chuck vs. The Cat

Chuck had noticed the customer as soon as she had entered the Buy More. She was a beautiful woman with flowing black hair and vibrant green eyes but that wasn't what had drawn Chuck's attention. Though, her attractiveness was dully noted. What had drawn the Nerd Herder's attention was the small Calico kitten hanging out of her designer purse.

As soon as his eyes had fallen on the cat, the Intersect sprang to life. Images shot across Chuck's vision before the Intersect once again went into hibernation mode. It took Chuck a few moments, as it usually did, to realize what had just happened.

Chuck had just flashed on a cat!

Or was it really a cat?

Chuck's eyes darted around the Sales Floor looking for Casey before settling back on the woman with the Calico kitten. He watched her for a moment before he spotted Morgan out of the corner of his eye.

"Morgan," Chuck called the Buy More employee over.

"What's up buddy?" Morgan walked up to the Nerd Herd kiosk before leaning lazily against it in the usual Morgan fashion.

"Have you seen Casey?" Chuck's eyes kept flicking between the female customer and Morgan.

"Casey? What do you need with him?"

"Just… Where is he Morgan?"

"Big Mike has him out back dealing with a shipment I think," Morgan replied lazily. "As long as he's not on the floor lurking around like an obsessive stalker, I'm happy."

"Yeah right, he's an obsessive stalker. Go get him from the back." Chuck's voice was starting to get a panic-y tone to it. He had to keep track of the cat until Casey got there otherwise Casey would have his ass for losing the target, and not in the good way.

Morgan gave Chuck a skeptical look and didn't move a muscle.

"Morgan," Chuck pleaded, only slightly. "if you go get him, I'll lend you the new tester demo for the Call of Duty 4 Special Edition."

"Really?! Aw, thanks man!" Morgan's eyes sparkled with excitement at the thought of being able to play the new demo.

Chuck noticed that he had lost Morgan's attention by the glassy look in his friend's eyes. He snapped his fingers in front of Morgan's face, regaining the other man's attention back from the nerdy place in his head.

"Morgan, get Casey now!"

"Oh, right!"

Chuck watched as Morgan took off towards the storeroom. The customer with the cat, thankfully, had not left the store during his talk with Morgan. Chuck couldn't help butt fidget as he waited for the NSA Agent to make an appearance.

"What, Bartowski?" Casey snarled into Chuck's ear.

"Gah! Casey!"

Casey just stared at Chuck not in the least concerned for Chuck's discomfort. "Cram it. Now what's so important that you sent the annoying garden gnome to get me?"

Chuck turned to glare at Casey before remembering about the cat. Grabbing Casey's arm and ignoring the growls, he dragged the NSA Agent away from the other Buy More employees to an empty aisle on the Sales Floor.

Chuck made sure the coast was clear before whispering, "I had a flash."

Casey looked somewhat shocked before he looked quickly around the sales floor, sizing up customers for potential threats. "Who?"

"More like, what."

"Well then, what triggered the flash?"

"The cat," Chuck replied casually while pointing in the direction of the customer with the cat.

Casey followed Chuck's finger, stared for a moment and then blinked.

Chuck shrugged.

"Very funny, Bartowski," Casey snarled. "You waste my time like this one more time," he paused as he moved to speak in Chuck's ear, "I'll end you."

Chuck could not suppress the shudder that ripped through him at the tone in Casey's voice, which pleased Casey immensely.

Chuck gathered up what little backbone he had left before speaking. "I'm serious, Casey. I flashed on that customer's cat." he pointed fruitlessly at the Calico.

"Did you hit your head?"

"No," Chuck deadpanned. "I'm ninety-seven percent sure that I have not hit my head recently."

"Only 97?"

"Not point the Casey! Now do something secret Agent-y."

Casey stared between Chuck and the customer with the cat before sighing heavily. "My job is never boring anymore thanks to you," Casey said honestly.

"Glad I can make your life just that little bit more interesting," Chuck snipped.

"So what did the Intersect say about the Cat?" Casey couldn't believe he had just asked that question.

"That it might not be an actual cat but an information gatherer that is capable of stealing any kind of information. Spoke, on computer or otherwise. It has a range of about 100 meters," Chuck said in one breath.

"So it's a cat that's not a cat?"

"That's the gist of it yes."

Casey looked at Chuck skeptically before slinking off to grab the cat… that wasn't a cat. Chuck watched worriedly as Casey started to speak to the customer. Thoughts kept popping into his head that weren't helping him stay calm.

What if she has a gun? What if she shoots Casey? What if its nothing and Casey ends up blowing his cover? What if this is a mix up and Casey gets reassigned and I never get to see Casey again? What am I going to do if Casey isn't here anymore? What's Ellie making for dinner tonight?

Chuck shook his head to get rid of those thoughts. Casey was a pro. He wouldn't mess this up. As Chuck tried to reassure himself that Casey wouldn't screw this up, the NSA Agent made his way back over to the Nerd Herder.

"So?" Chuck's eyes were full of nervous excitement as he waited for Casey to respond.

"It's a real cat."

"How do you know?"

Casey glared before showing Chuck his arm which was covered in bright red scratches. "It dug its claws into my flesh."

"Ouch," Chuck winced. "My bad, Casey, the Intersect reacted to the cat. So, what now?"

"I'm going to disinfect these scratches," Casey growled.

"What do you want me to do? I mean an information stealer disguised as a cat is out there somewhere," Chuck paused. "Should I call Sarah?"

Casey smiled at Chuck which unsettled the Nerd Herder greatly. "You," Casey said, voice dripping with fake sweetness. "You have a forty-five second head start."

"You can't be serious?"

"Forty-five, forty-four, forty-three…"

"Come on, Casey," Chuck pleaded. "Be reasonable here. How was I supposed to know?"

"Thirty-one, thirty, twenty-nine," Casey continued.

Chuck didn't require anymore motivation; he escaped the Buy More before Casey got to twenty-seven.