A FMA fanfiction
By: Something Dysfunctional
Chapter OMAKE!
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Disclaimer: You all know who owns "Fullmetal Alchemist"...
This chapter is a silly little filler. An omake, people. Something to make ya'll laugh and squeal. Shits and giggles. I don't really know why I decided to write this... could be the sugar I have consumed and also listening to VOCALOID songs, especially "Romeo & Cinderella", the Luka Megurine and Gakupo Kamui version. -melts- They have the most beautiful voices together... now, enjoy this slice of funny pie. Review nicely and happy reading!

The Fullmetal Theater of Anything-Goes Alchemy Romping Presents: "Cross-dressing? Edward is Forced Into A Girl's Dress!"

(author note: Yes, that's right... I went THERE.)

Glaring at the gorgeous man in front of him, the boy flattened his cat ears against his crown of blonde hair and narrowed his matching eyes at his enemy at hand. How did it come to this? Sure, it might have been a wrong idea of betting against Roy in a game of chess to see who was better and the loser would have to become someone's bitch, but that man HAD to take it up ONE MORE NOTCH. Growling, Ed crossed his arms tighter over his chest as his face grew red. Across from him, Roy couldn't hide his trademark smirk and leaned forward, cupping his cheek in his hand as he watched the teen fluster and squirm. "What's the matter, Ed? I thought you said you never backed down from a challenge?"

"Not something like THIS! Why does... AAARRGGGHHHH! I don't understand it! It's like you want to belittle me and make fun of me...!," he whined, scooting further into his chair, as if to escape his lover's clutches.

"I'm not doing anything of the sort. I ante-up the bet. What's wrong? Can't handle it?," Roy sneered jokingly, black eyes glinting. Ed gnashed his teeth together, his blood racing in his ears. "Better than what YOU could!," he snapped back, standing up fast and stalking out of the room, tail bristled.

Roy laughed out loud, tossing his head back. His young lover had spunk and fire, he did. Temper like that of a woman at times. Smoothing back his features, the man then thought fondly of the cat-boy and his sweet moments, no matter how few there was. This would certainly not be tossed in that category.

Bailey stared at her student for a long time and then burst into a fit of giggles at his request. "I need to buy you a WHAT?," she wheezed out, wiping her teared-up eyes. Ed grumbled and looked away, blushing profusely. His hands were twisting in the pocket of his hoodie, a sign of nerves. "Ineedyoutobuyadress," he ran together in a embarassed mumble. Bailey raised a thin brow, her dark eyes questioning. "Aaannnddd... why do I have to?," she pressed, intrigued. Edward sighed loudly and ran his hands in his blonde hair, his blush darkening. "I bet Roy against a match of chess. And I lost. So, I have to wear a dress," he grounded out thinly. The woman chuckled and crossed her legs on the couch, pressed a hand to her mouth. "Typical. Of course I will help you, Ed. Now, what color would you like it?," Bailey asked sincerely. Ed shrugged and glared at her. "Nothing STUPID. Nothing GIRLY..."

Bailey grinned. "I promise nothing."

After leaving the school, Roy made his way home, stopping by the grocery store to pick up specific items from supper that night. Pleased with his selections, he drove to his house in a pleasant mood. The bet was now far in the back of his mind. Instead, he was thinking of pleasing the teen and his brother, Al, with his cooking. Crawling up in the driveway, he exited out of the car, hearing the cries inside of the two boys rushing to the door, flinging it open. The blonde brothers raced towards the tall teacher, hugging him and crying out about nearly starving to death and wanting to eat a cow.

Roy laughed heartily and moved Ed and Al back inside, their arms full of grocery bags. Time passed slowly and dinner then consumed, Al crawled into bed with a full belly and instantly passed out, after Roy reading a story to him. The house was settled in adn quiet. Yawning largely, the black-haired man walked down the hallway softly, ready to fall asleep himself until he smelled something in the air. Curious, his nose picked up the spicy scent and followed it into the living room, where one of the floor lamps was still on, casting golden shadows in the large area. Eyes traveled over the scene, the smell stronger. His dark eyes fell on someone sitting in his armchair, still and...

drowning in layers and layers of crinoline, lace, and ruffles.

Serene eyes of liquid amber lifted up, downy eyelashes quivering over the lids as the light danced off of them. A smooth face smiled gently, framed with flaxen hair around shoulders.

"... Ed-Edward...?," trailed off Roy, staring with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, the smell trickling into his mouth. He recognized the taste instantly- peppermint. Swallowing, his drank in the sight that he DARED believe would happen and that familiar tugging in his cock made him swoon. Ed ducked his head, hands folded quietly in the folds of his pink and white Lolita dress that Bailey managed to get her hands on. With ruffled short sleeves, a scooping collar with ruffled lace piping on the front, the skirt billowed out like a pink, sugary cloud. The bodice was tight around his torso, laced tightly. The skirt was layered with white lace peeking in between the spaces, undeniably sweet. A bow of the same pink color was on Edward's head and the "piece de resistance" that nearly made Roy come were the ever-so delicate white stockings and pink platform patent pink Mary Jane shoes. There seemed to be a cloud of the peppermint around the golden child, wrapping it like a gift Roy had to be patient to recieve.

Oh, yes. Roy would thank Bailey so much for this.

Ed had kept his temper in, looking so innocent and coy, as if he wanted to be noticed but not stared at for too long. His cat ears flickered at the sound Roy made in his throat as he stood up carefully, the skirt following his movements. "You said I had to wear one, so... here you go. May I PLEASE take it off now?," he asked politely. Roy closed his eyes, trying to still his heart for jumping out of his chest. He drew himself up, opening his eyes to stare at Edward, his obsidian eyes glazed over heatedly. Edward knew that look.

He was turned on... by him in a DRESS.

Scoffing, he turned away, crossing his arms over his chest. "Pervert," Ed muttered, but couldn't help but feel excited. Was this such a big tease for the former Dog of the Military? Peeking over his shoulder, the boy watched as Roy approach him, stalking forward like a big panther. He instead slid into his armchair, sitting back like some king, watching Ed. "Hmm, I don't think so. I like you in this. It's completely different, not to mention a wonderful look," he smirked darkly, his voice now an octave lower. The sound made a shiver race down Ed's spine. So, is this how he wanted to be? The corners of his mouth twitched and fluidly, heart thumping, the boy fully turned to him and curtsied prettily, head bowing as the layers of gold fell past his shoulders.

"Then I pleased you-


Roy felt his pants tightening around his now strained erection trapped inside. Ed practically used sex in that voice. It was husky, light, and darling, like a girl's. He was falling into role of one, the game set and on. White against black on the checkered board.

Silently like the cat he was, Edward stepped forward, gazing at his lover with a bemused expression on his face. "What would you have me do? You seem... a little bit tense," he drawled out, appraising Roy's lap with eagerness. Roy leaned his cheek against his fist, elbow balancing carefully on the arm of his chair. "Indeed. What would you propose?," the man drawled out. Soon, his mouth was being kissed by plump lips of the most delicious softness, coaxing his own open with a wicked little tongue. Roy fell into the kiss, enjoying the slow sensation of melding his mouth with Edward's, small hands creeping up to bury themselves into his black hair. Roy didn't move, allowing his pretty-in-pink minx to give him pleasure. Parting, the blonde smiled lightly, eyes hooded. "Anything else?," he murmured, his tail swinging behind him. The man licked his lips daringly, taking Ed's automail hand and placing it over his bulging crotch. Ed smiled prettily and turned around, his back facing Roy. Then, he began to sit in the man's lap, the crinole whispering as it pressed together. Roy bit the inside of his mouth, feeling the heat swept along his thighs as Ed's tail curled out from under the skirt, dangling off his lap. "What is this?," he asked lightly. Edward giggled to himself and peered over his shoulder, looking at Roy from under his eyelashes. "Whatever you want," he breathed.

Was that an invitation?

Breathing through his nose, Roy took his trembling hands and slid them under the layers to search for his surprise that hid underneath. Ed squirmed lightly at the touch of flesh searching hungrily for their goal, his own cock awakening with a flush of excitement. He let out a whimper when they traced over his rear, inquiringly. "Ed... are you wearing...?"

The boy could only moan aloud as the hands flew over his front, cupping his erection, rubbing the fabric.

Whatever was said about the Flame Alchemist ever having patience was wrong INDEED. Squealing at being lifted up, Ed was flung on the couch, his skirt bunched up on his torso as the cool air hit his lower region. Flustered, his cheeks burned as Roy gasped in marvel at the panties that Bailey happened to supply him with. And of course, it didn't help matters that they were white. INNOCENCE, PURE, WHITE PANTIES.

"R-Roy!," he mewled, confused and hot, strands of hair sticking to his forehead and cheek as his eyes searched above him for the man. Instead of a verbal reply, a wet mouth covering the head of his cock trapped in that scrap of devil cloth was his answer. Ed wailed some, jerking his thin hips upward, enjoying the sensation. Hands fumbled for the lacing and unraveled the dress, allowing Roy to remove the Lolita gown off of his lover, leaving him in stockings, panties, and shoes. Panting harshly, the boy looked down, past his heaving chest to the dark, bent head over his cock. Roy mouthed the burning flesh, rubbing his sack at the same time, causing Ed to cry out. Roy could taste the pre-come from the fabric of Ed's underwear and consciously rubbed his own erection against the cushions of the couch, taking his teeth and pulling them off so they hung around Ed's muscular thighs. Ed gasped as his cock bobbed in the air then taken into a moist cavern. Moaning deeply, the blonde grasped Roy's hair, slowly gyrating his hips in a slow motion, fucking the man's mouth.

Roy practically purred at the noises his little lover made. He wrapped his tonuge around the thickness, sucking and pulling in, creating a vacuum suction, saliva coating. Ed was crying, it hurt so good when Roy swallowed around him. Wailing out once last time, he bucked his hips faster, his loins burning. with a final cry when Roy suckled hard on the flaring head, searching for more of Ed's unique flavor, the blonde came hard, clutching at the man's head, arching off the couch.

Roy took it all down, pleased at how well and fast he got Ed to come. Looking up with drunk-hazed eyes, he saw his triumph and prize sink down, dragging air into his lungs. He waited until the cock in his mouth softened. Licking it clean, Roy pulled the boy up and kissed him fully, dragging Ed's flavor in his mouth. Moaning weakly, the boy wrapped his arms around the man's neck, his cat ears laid down in relaxation. Nothing was said but shared kisses and then, Ed crawled into Roy's lap once more, his stocking-encased legs trapping the man. He rocked his hips against Roy's hardness, eyes fluttering shut as he groaned at the familiar hardness rubbing against him. Roy grunted, burying his face in Ed's hair as they dry-humped against one another. Ed fumbled below and released Roy's own member after a fight with the zipper and belt. Taking the large organ in his hand, he pumped it quickly in a broken rhythm, making Roy choke. He bit down suddenly on Ed's neck, grabbing the teen's awakened cock and both started pumping vigorously, crying out in the tiniest of whispers as they neared completion. Ed looked up into Roy's face, watching the man's expression of lust contort over in waves, glowing in pride that HE was doing this to Roy- and no one else. He took Roy's moving hand and placed it on his own, grasping both cocks and both flung themselves into pleasure, moaning at the sensation of rubbing against one another. Ed came after that, sensitive from his first orgasm, Roy's name falling from his lips.

The black-haired man ran a hand over the stocking-ed leg, pushing it back as he allowed it to move quickly over the thigh and under Edward's sack, inserting a finger in the hidden hole. Ed jumped up at the intrusion, mouth slack as Roy moved it fast, hitting a spot that he knew was not there. Keening, the blonde fell back on the couch, body convulsing as he came harder. Roy growled low and long, his own orgasm erupting over his already-coated hand. In jerked pants, the man milked his cock, the last of the come dribbling out as both gasped for breath. Leaning down, Roy kissed the bruised mouth of Ed's and nuzzled against his cheek lovingly. "You were amazing, Edward... thank you for that," he murmured. Edward laughed brokenly, still high from his release. "Welcome... better not messed that dress up... Bailey will kill you." Both cooed at each other, tangling hands together, too lazy to get up and clean up their mess. Edward was about to nod off, feeling butterfly kisses dancing on his collarbone when they paused.

"Now if you dressed up like a maid, that would be even MORE amazing."

"In your wildest dreams, Mustang. You'll be MY maid next time."

and so does pudding.

-the moonlight carries the message of Love.-

Later days...!