First fanfiction. Read & Review(:
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did, there would be a much longer, extended version of the wedding night in Breaking Dawn(:
When The Sun Breaks
The feeling was entirely indescribable. The overwhelming power coursing through my veins attacked my entire body, nerve by nerve, until the pain was reduced to nothing more than a distant throbbing sensation. There was no way that it was blood still filling my body. No, this was definitely not blood, but liquid energy flowing through me like an electric current. What was keeping me alive before meant nothing at this point. Heartbeats, pulses, oxygen… it was all secondary to the devastating force of the energy that consumed me. My body, mind, and soul were all at the will of this inexplicable might that had taken over. It was torture, blissful torture… What a way to live. Free. Feral. Untamed. Nothing could stop me now. No one could get in my way. This was the only way to live. Having experienced this thrill, this miracle, how could I ever go back? How could I submit myself to human limitations when I know what it's like to live with no bounds? And what in the world did I have to go back to?
Then it hit me. It only took one second, maybe even less. That was it. That was all it took for everything to be over. The hope. The power. I could feel the energy draining itself from me entirely, and blood filling my veins once again. I was not back to my human form, but never before had I felt weaker than at this one moment. Even in the midst of my wildest thoughts, my most reckless dreams, and an imagination full of possibilities, that was all it took to stop me dead in my tracks. One word… Two syllables. I obviously wasn't as powerful as I thought. If I were truly powerful, I would not be trembling uncontrollably. If I were truly, really powerful, there would be no tears threatening to spill from my hopeless eyes. That was it. A moment later I was human again. In this weak, naked form, I did not suppress the tears. Bella. My Bella. It would all have to be over now. I could never see her again. Not like this. Not when I was a monster. Bella would never love a monster. Not again. Not another one. But it was not my pain that had reduced me to tears. Bella, who had already suffered through more than any one person should ever have to go through, was about to be broken once again, by the one person who had made it his mission in life to mend her wounds. Me. I was supposed to be her sun. I was supposed to help her, heal the heart that the bloodsucker had so ruthlessly shattered. And here I was, rejoicing in my strength, in my rebirth, in my freedom. But I would never be free. Bella, my beautiful innocent Bella, could never see me like this. From this moment on, Bella would never be able to see me at all.
I might, by some miracle, be able to survive not seeing her, perhaps even knowing that instead of healing what was broken I merely added insult to her still bleeding injuries. But having her believe that I left because I no longer wanted her, because I no longer loved her with every single fiber of my being…. Now that was preposterous. That I could never handle. But I was a monster, and, even worse, a monster bound to his Alpha's commands. I could never tell her what I am... She would never know the real reason why I must leave her. She would never be aware of tonight, the night that I would spend in the purest kind of agony, tortured by the thought of having to say goodbye. But there could be no goodbye. There was no way I was going to risk it. If I let my anger take control of me for even a split second... who knows what the monster in me would be capable of. Bella didn't deserve this. She deserved better than a monster, better than me. Leaving her might just kill me,but this is what's best for Bella. Perhaps not best for me… but best for Bella, and that was all that really mattered. I would suffer in silence, as long as I could be assured that she was okay. Now I was destined to live a life longer than any person should ever be allowed to live, permanently afflicted by thoughts of what could have been… If only…
If given the chance, I would have loved her unconditionally until my last dying breath. But what had I ever done to deserve such a chance? Besides... she would never be able to love me the way she loved him. That bloodsucker. That leech. I hadn't understood until this moment what she must have felt when the bloodsucker left, why when he left, he took her hope and happiness with him. But now... now I understood. More than I ever wanted to. As I roughly wiped my tears off with the back of my hand, I realized that whether or not she was physically a part of my life, and no matter how far away that last, dying breath may be, I would love Isabella Marie Swan until the day that I ceased to exist. I knew she would soon forget me, she would find the strength to move on, but in my heart she will always be my Bells… One last deep breath was all it took. The sobs slowly came to an end, and I tried to rid myself of all emotion, of all feeling, as I phased once again. But this time there was no doubt in my mind that, no matter what, I wouldn't be phasing back.
Thanks to all that read it, make sure to leave a review! They make my day(:
Constructive criticism is totally appreciated.
Tell me if you guys think I should continue this. I have a bit of an idea of where it might be headed...