Author's Note: This is for katelovesstargate92 – who asked for a little scene where Ronon's teaching Jen some sparring! As soon as I read the request this popped into my head. Hope you enjoy! - Nika
Jen stared up at the ceiling wondering if she should be eating more chocolate. Chocolate bars, specifically. Dark chocolate. Or maybe Caramilk. Something heavy on the calories. Something that would go right to her hips and her ass. Something to add a little fleshy padding. Because right now, short of ordering one of those sumo-suits from a party supply store… or stuffing a cushion down the back of her underwear… she was pretty much out of ideas on how to keep her tailbone in one piece.
She was spending way too much time on it.
It was getting to be that she could now recognize what direction she faced by the placement of the patterned tile above her head – she'd spent so much time on the floor.
Blue swirl to the right meant she'd landed with her head facing the doorway. Blue swirl straight up, she'd hit the middle of the mat. Blue swirl to the left, feet to the door. No blue swirl? Well then she'd obviously landed on her face.
With her arms flopped wide she blinked up at the face that appeared in the air above her. It was the face of her tormentor and the reason her tailbone, shoulders, and backside were protesting. They'd spent the last ten minutes trying to see if she could pull out enough coordination to jump before he swept his leg beneath hers. She could jump, sure. But trying to time the jump, and watch his leg, and try to pay attention to his shoulders which were apparently supposed to telegraph his move before he did it proved completely impossible and he'd successfully tripped her every single one of the eleven times they'd done it.
Not that she was counting.
"You okay?" Ronon squatted beside her, his arms resting across the top of his knees.
"Yup." She pursed her lips. "Good. Great actually. Nice and comfy."
He grinned and slid one hand under her shoulder, the other wrapping gently around her upper arm. "You almost had it that time."
"I did not." She scoffed and let him pull her up off the floor. "Face it." She reached up and yanked out her pony tail with an exasperated tug. She looped the scrunchie over her wrist like a bracelet, and propped her hands onto her hips. "A ninja I am not, nor will I ever be."
"A ninja?" His eyes moved from her hair to her face.
"Yeah you know…" She squatted, her left leg back, body low, arms held out with perfect mock TV-ninja stance. "Ninja!"
He raised his eyebrows at her stance. "The only thing that position is good for is to get your wrists chopped off." He extended his right hand, fingers gripping an invisible sword which he swung towards her outstretched arms.
"Ah!" She snorted and blocked his wrist with her right arm. "But I'm a ninja, so I'd stop your useless sword with my ninja prowess."
"Yup. Then I'd disarm you of your puny sword." She stepped back and snatched at the air in front of his chest. With two steps to the side she held both hands out in front of her, her fingers wrapped over an invisible hilt. "And order you to surrender under penalty of death. See? Ninja."
"And if I didn't surrender?" He dropped his arms to his sides and stared at her, going for menacing, but unable to hide the glint of amusement in his eyes.
Jen shook her head slowly and pursed her lips. "Well that would be unfortunate." Then she sighed. "I'd have to kill you."
"Not very sporting."
"Hmm." Her eyes narrowed and she backed up as he took a step forward. "You're right. I guess I'd have to give you a fighting chance."
"Even if I'm bigger and stronger?"
"Pfft." She snorted, flipping her hand over her shoulder as though throwing the sword away. "I'm a ninja, remember? You may be brawny, Mr. Big Man, but I'm small and fast. Stealthy. Ninja's are sneaky. Quick and deadly. " She rubbed her palms together then dropped her weight back into the TV-ninja pose and eyed him warily. She crooked her index finger at him.
Jen squealed when he suddenly dove at her, scrambling quickly to the side. He snagged her wrist but she twisted her arm down and around, breaking his hold just like he'd taught her. He dropped his weight, his leg sweeping out to kick her feet out from beneath her body. She shrieked and jumped, clearing his leg with a whisper of space and landed awkwardly, her arms pinwheeling. She straightened up and he stopped, his body in a squat while he grinned up at her.
"See? Told you, you could do it."
"Aha!" She exclaimed, giddy with the knowledge that she'd actually done it right. She dropped into a crouch to launch herself at him. Palms out she slammed into his chest, knocking him off balance. "Never let your guard down to a ninja!"
With a screech of laughter she scrambled away, swatting at his hands when they landed around her waist. Falling to her knees she struggled, the laughter making it a hell of a lot more difficult to move in a straight line, much less think of any properly formatted fighting moves. Twisting around, she squealed when he easily lifted her off the ground, flinging her over his shoulder. Her face dropped towards the floor and she laughed.
"Give up?" His hands tightened across her legs, holding her in position.
"Ninja's never surrender!" She snorted, wriggling against her perch bent across his right shoulder. Tightening the muscles in her lower back she lifted herself up, her fingers immediately digging into the sensitive flesh of his under arms. She tickled him mercilessly, squealing when he started to lose his grip on her legs as he struggled to hold on to her. She twisted on his shoulder when he bent and dropped to one knee, his fingers wriggling against her waist in payback.
Jen screamed with laughter and bucked against him. She bowed her knees and dug her toes into the matt, shoving forward and sending them both off balance. They landed on the matt in a tangle of arms and legs – Ronon on his back, and Jennifer sprawled across his front.
"Surrender?" She laughed, brushing the tangle hair away from her face.
A throat cleared.
Jen's head lifted so quickly she nearly gave herself whiplash. Ronon moved beneath her, his hand holding her hair back from his face so he could see the doorway behind his head. Jen scrambled up off him, the exertion in her face almost as bright as the embarrassment she knew was coloring her neck and ears. Teyla had the decency to keep a straight face, despite the laughter that was shaking the Athosian's shoulders.
"Colonel." Jen squawked. "Teyla."
John didn't bother to hide his grin when Ronon had to put his hands on her waist to move her to the side. She'd stood up, yes. But she hadn't moved away, so she'd been effectively standing directly over Ronon with her feet on either side of his waist.
"Doc." John nodded, then glanced at Ronon with a raised eyebrow. "New, ah… lesson plan?"
"No." Jen exhaled, quickly moving to grab her towel and water bottle from the corner of the room.
"Too bad." John grinned. "Looked like you were winning."
"I wasn't… I mean… I…" She turned to Ronon. "I'm going to get going…"
Ronon nodded. "Me too."
"You're not staying?" Teyla smiled and stepped aside.
"No." Jen hurried past. "I have… to… you know… do stuff… with things."
Ronon ignored them both as he followed Jen into the hallway. "What she said."
John and Teyla's laughter followed as they hurried down the hallway.
"So." Ronon said with a grin. "Same time tomorrow?"
Jen shook her head with a laugh. "You're kidding, right?"
"I'm not sure if my tailbone can take another day of that."
"Okay." She laughed. "Fine. Same time tomorrow."
"Good." He nodded, then sped up. "Catch you later."
"Where are you going?"
He turned and walked backwards. "To find McKay."
"What for?" She frowned, curious.
"See if he has any ninja movies."
With a grin and a wave, he left her standing in the corridor, laughing like an idiot, and wondering just what the hell she'd gotten herself into.