Sonic The Hedgehog and all related characters belong to Sega. Sally and co. belong to DiC Entertainment. I'm only doing this once…

Hey everyone! To anyone who actually read my last fanfiction, Through the Flames and Fire (read: nobody), I mentioned a fanfic that I was working on in my author's note. Well, this is it. YAY!

Yeah, yeah. On with the story.

HGTSV: Welcome history-lovers. I am your trusty sidekick, The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Sonicverse (also known as the HGTSV). First, a little history behind myself. As you very well know, being citizens of the Robotnik Empire, that the official story behind the being known to most as Sonic the Hedgehog is entirely inaccurate, due to most of it being written by our very own unfortunately long-since dead Emperor and Sonic's arch-nemesis, Dr. Robotnik. Soon after reading the completely false version of events, a group of rebels, known only as "The Council of Four", created myself to tell the true, unbiased story of Sonic the Hedgehog. Today, history-lover, you are reading Section 3-XX: The Other Empire, taking place directly after Section 3-K: Sonic Unleashed and Section 6-I: The Void.

Take note that I have organized the following so that the setting will change every chapter. If one chapter is set in the Segaverse, then the next will be set in the SatAM universe and etc.

So, without further ado, enjoy your whirlwind trip through history!

Once upon a time there was a man named Dr. Ivo Robotnik. He was a scientist, like his grandfather, Professor Gerald Robotnik, who was a hero in his mind. His grandfather spent most of his life working non-stop on board his own personal space station on projects that would help the people of Earth. These "projects" included cures for various diseases, convenient household appliances, and the key to immortality.

Ivo wanted to help the people of Earth, but wanted to do so in a different way. Ivo was aware of all the corrupt politicians that ruled the Earth with an iron fist. These men were the ones that would make sure that the rich would get richer and the poor would get poorer. Ivo realized that the only way to truly help the people of Earth would be to create a new system of government that would hopefully replace the old corrupt one. He hoped that his new system would be as close to a global Utopia as possible.

After a few years of developing this system, he went to present it to his local city council, hoping that, if not entirely accepted, at least some of his ideas would be implemented into the current system of government. Instead, he was immediately charged with treason and placed under house arrest for the next ten years. During this time, Ivo went slightly insane and decided that if he couldn't get people to accept his system by peace, then he would do so by force; in the long run this would be better for everyone. Actually let me clarify that: this is what his logical mind told him. In reality, he just simply wanted revenge.

After spending about eight years under house arrest, Ivo decided that he couldn't stand the thought of staying under arrest any longer, so he attempted an escape on June 23 as his birthday present to himself. Unfortunately, after spending eight years doing nothing but eating, lazing out, and plotting, he'd become quite fat, to the point that his body shape actually resembled an egg. Because of this, he got stuck in a certain air duct that he was required to crawl though to complete his escape. Ivo was then forced to cry out for help to the guards who were at the time looking all over for said escaped convict. The duct was soon taken apart to allow the embarrassed Ivo Robotnik to escape. He was charged 10,000 dollars for the re-assembly of the air duct as well as charged an extra five years under house arrest for attempted escape, which of course fueled Ivo's revenge even further.

After an excruciatingly long seven years, Ivo was finally released from house arrest. He quickly set forth his revenge plan, sending robots to set up base in the tropical islands of southern Central America collecting small animals on the way to use as living, emission-free batteries. Fortunately, his plan was foiled by a thirteen year-old blue hedgehog named Sonic. He continued his attempts of setting up a permanent base there, as this would be needed in order to take on G.U.N., but he was stopped every time.

Eventually, Ivo discovered the ancient legends of The God of Destruction: Chaos. Ivo figured that if he could release Chaos from its prison and find out how to control it, then he could simply release Chaos into the world and have it do the dirty work (destroying the human and sapient race), no elaborate bases or wars needed. Despite this, nobody actually considered him a threat, instead they thought of him as a deranged freak that would need to be locked up for his own good. The press even nick-named him the embarrassing name of "Eggman" because of his peculiar body shape. Nevertheless, the newly-named "Dr. Eggman" ignored the opinions of the public and pushed forward in his attempt to create his personal Utopia, now named the "Eggman Empire". Alas, he was thwarted again by Sonic the Hedgehog.

Dr. Eggman has since attempted plan after plan for his goal of world conquest. Today we will show you a special behind-the-scenes look at Dr. Eggman working in his secret base on a new invention that will apparently help him in his quest for world domination:

Universe: Sega

Location: Dr. Eggman's base in Mystic Ruins

Date: 5:00 pm, December 21, 2012

Alone in a carefully-polished factory/science lab run mainly by robots, Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik was hard at work at his new invention: a device that would create a timed version of Chaos Control.

His theory went like this: instead of the machine powering a regular Chaos Control, it would teleport the subject to any spot, but would leave a small part of their aura behind. When an aura is separated, it naturally wants to re-unite with itself. This is kept from happening by the machine by issuing a small but steady amount of Chaos Energy opposite to the type used to Chaos Control (e.g., if positive Chaos Energy was used to Chaos Control the subject, then negative Chaos Energy would be applied to neutralize it). This fragment of an aura could then be contained and moved to any location. After a set amount of time, the flow of neutralizing Chaos Energy would be stopped and the subject would automatically teleport itself back to its aura fragment, basically allowing you to use Chaos Control twice but use only half the energy required.

"EUREKA!", Eggman yelled, with his voice positively dripping with cliché, "I've finally done it, it's finally done!"

Yup, you guessed it. Eggman's finished his Timed Chaos Control project.

"Decoe, Bocoe! Come here at once"

On cue, a tall gold robot followed by a short silver one ran into view.

"Right away Doctor" the gold one said.

"What do you want Your Eggcellency?" said the silver one.

"I want you two to help me test my new invention, you know which one I'm talking about. One of you has to be the subject. I don't really care who."

"One of us Doctor?!", Decoe cried, "But you said yourself that this was experimental, our circuits might be fried in the process!"

"Do as you're told."

"But…but" Decoe couldn't think of a reply.

"ENOUGH! You are my invention! You shall do whatever I tell you to do! Understood?"

"Yes Doctor, understood." Decoe sighed in defeat.

"For all that needless complaining, you, Decoe, will be the test subject for my ingenious invention. Bocoe, start the pre-activation procedure for Timed Chaos Control."

"Yes Doctor." Bocoe quickly saluted, then rushed off towards the control panel next to a very futuristic looking metal platform.

"And you, Decoe, you go and stand on the TCCV1 Teleportation Activation Devise."

"Yes Doctor" Decoe responded unenthusiastically as he started walking toward the futuristic looking metal platform.

As Decoe was walking past the control panel, he heard Bocoe whisper into his ear.

"Psst! If you don't make it through in one piece, can I have your replacement circuit board?"

If robots could sigh, Decoe would be doing so right now.

As Decoe walked up the single step to the circular futuristic looking metal platform, Eggman started relaying instructions.

"Okay, Decoe, stay there and don't chicken out at the last moment. This is still experimental and may hurt your non-existent nerves a bit. Bocoe, start the activation sequence for the TCCV1. Set the coordinates for my base in Central City."

"Right away Sir." Bocoe said, as he punched in the activation code.

The green strips on the metal platform began to glow as a humming sound emitted from the machine. A glass tube came down from the ceiling, surrounding Decoe as the green strips glowed even brighter, finally filling up the small cylinder. The light glowed brighter and brighter until...

Nothing.

The power machine powered down.

"What happened Doctor?" Bocoe asked.

Eggman stared blankly at his broken machine, before finally "answering" Bocoe's question.

"If I knew, Bocoe, then I probably would've kept it from happening, wouldn't I?"

"...Yes Doctor."

"Good, now that we have agreed on that, open up the glass chamber so that I can check what's wrong with it."

"Of course sir, right away." Bocoe said as he typed out a command on the control panel's virtual keyboard.

Immediately the glass retracted gracefully as a relieved Decoe stumbled out and an annoyed evil genius walked in, screwdriver in hand. He quickly unscrewed the main power supply box, and realized that he had already found the problem.

Eggman had discovered that in the power supply box was an electrified family of non-sapient rats who had apparently been chewing at the wire casing.

"Those miserable, vile creatures..." he mumbled under his breath.

He unplugged the cable to take a closer look at it, and, to his relief, the wire itself was not damaged. The rats had simply chewed through the casing and created an electrical imbalance, that, while brief, had been enough to trigger the safety mechanism.

"Bocoe, hand me the electrical tape. I'll just tape the wire casing back together."

"Yes Doctor." Bocoe said handing him the tape, wondering how much longer it was until his shift was over.

Eggman taped the wire casing back together and plugged the cord back in.

What a stupid mistake.

Immediately after plugging back in the cord, the glass cylinder came down from the ceiling, trapping Eggman inside, while the green strips started glowing.

"What's happening!" Eggman yelled frantically, pounding on the glass.

"It seems that when you plugged the cord back in, it started up its previous instructions." Bocoe replied.

"Isn't there a emergency stop somewhere there?" Eggman cried, the green lights glowing brighter.

"I don't see any." Decoe said.

"But don't worry doctor, if your machine works then you'll just be sent to your base in Central City. If you get sent somewhere else then you just have to wait forty-eight hours until you're brought back here." Bocoe said reassuringly.

"Oh yeah, that's reassuring." Eggman said grimly.

"Oh, I found the emergency stop, it's this big red button!", Decoe exclaimed, "But...it's password protected. Why would you password protect an emergency button?"

"Shut up!" Eggman yelled, the light glowing even brighter now. "The password is SONIC."

"Sonic, eh?", Decoe said mockingly, "Doctor, you're really getting ironic in your old age".

"Just shut up!"

"Okay, okay. S-O-N-I..."

Just then a bright flash of Chaos Control momentarily blinded Decoe. When he looked up, the doctor was gone...

Replaced with someone who looked similar to the doctor, only even uglier and with big black eyes.

In another flash of Chaos Control, Eggman found himself on the floor of a weird building where everything seemed to be made of metal and nothing more.

He looked up to see a very short man in green clothing looking down at him, mouth open in shock. His hair was a mess, and that's saying something because he only had a few strands of hair. Eggman also noticed his very oddly and undescribeable shaped head, which looked like it belonged to one of the sapients.

To be truthful, for a split-second, Eggman thought he was a leprechaun.

After about a minute, the green-clothed man regained his composure and said to Eggman:

"Who are you? But more importantly, what are you doing in the base of Dr. Robotnik?!"

A/N: No, I'm not making these numbers up. I actually have a system where I can label a number/letter combo to any event in the Sonicverse. Sect. 1 is pre-Sonic Adventure. Sect. 2 is post-SA, pre-Shadow the Hedgehog. Sect. 3 is post-ShtH. Sect. 4 is all of AoStH etc. Then each letter represents one game/episode/issue. "XX" simply means "never happened in canon", for instance the Subspace Emissary part of SSBB, all fanfictions, and this story.