My first Twilight fanfic. This is a bit of fluff that I needed to get out of my head. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Twilight not mine.

An Argument between a Vampire and a Werewolf

"Listen, Edward. I just don't get it. It makes no logical sense."

"Yes, Jacob, because morphing into a wolf is completely logical."

"Sure it is. It's the solution to having bloodsuckers as next-door neighbors. Duh. But explain to me the advantages of twinkling in sunlight."

"It has...advantages."

"What, are you photosynthetic? Now that would be cool."

"Sorry, Jacob, as far as I know I am not a ficus."

"I'm just would be cool. And you know it."


"Alright then, Cullen. Give me one advantage."

"I don't see why this is important."

"Come on, Edward! You are a freaking vampire. You're supposed to be scary and mean. You drink blood and eat children and stuff. You're not supposed to sparkle."

"I do not eat children."


"Well, Jacob, perhaps you can explain to me the advantages of exploding out of your clothes every time you turn wolf."

"Easy. The ladies like it."

"That's debatable."

"You are so stalling because you know I'm right. There are no advantages to sparkling in the sun! Other than, like, doing a really good impression of glitter."

"Haha, very funny. I do excellent impressions of A.C. Moore merchandise. Now please go away and practice your impression of Lassie."

"At least Lassie has a purpose. You decorate macaroni."

"You know, Jacob, sparkling in the sun is not the only thing a vampire can do. We are also excellent at biting, shredding, and snapping the necks of annoying wolfboys."

"What was that? I was distracted by your shimmering."

"Get out of my house, Jacob."

"You are such a sore loser. Whatsamatter, Cullen? Can't stand to lose a debate? Feeling a little inferior?"

"No, Jacob, I just don't like you."

"Well, too bad. Bella invited me over."

"You know that Bella sparkles in the sun too, don't you? I don't see you ridiculing her."

"Yeah, but it's cool for a girl. Dudes shouldn't sparkle."

"You think sparkling lessens my masculinity?"

"Yup. At least two notches."

"Hah! Go ahead and think you're more masculine, but you're overlooking something important. I'm made of marble."

"Yeah, so?"

"So let that sink in when you order your first Viagra prescription."

Thanks for reading! I'd love to know who you think won the argument :)