Another argument before I'm off to school.
Check out my book Freefly on Amazon! Go on! Check it out!
Arguments Between a Vampire and a Werewolf
"You know, I love lollipops."
"I really do. I love them."
"I'm getting that."
"Their smell, their texture, the way they come on a stick…"
"This is getting romantic."
"Don't you love lollipops, Edward?"
"Am I going to have to actually bite you for you to remember I'm a vampire?"
"I'm not even talking about eating them, dude. I mean in general. Their concept. The fact that someone thought up the idea of putting a little globe of sugar on a stick. The fact that that idea became a reality. It gives me hope about the world."
"That gives you hope about the world?"
"Don't mock me."
"You're far too mock-able not to."
"Here I am, baring my soul to you, and you mock me."
"Personally, I think your soul should remain under wraps at all times, but that's just me."
"You know, sometimes I hate you."
"That's a mutual sentiment."
"Dude! Why are you so mean? You are always mean!"
"Yet you keep returning."
"Can't you see I just want us to be friends?"
"Can't you see I just want us to be separated by my bedroom door?"
"God! It's like you took meanness classes. You majored in meanness, didn't you?"
"I majored in medicine, thank you very much."
"I bet they called you Doctor Mean."
"Would such a title induce you to leave me alone?"
"Face it: I'm the only one willing to put up with you."
"I'm talking about the real you. You're nice to everyone else. I'm the only one willing to deal with your real self. Your real mean self."
"Yes, well, my real mean self only reveals itself in the presence of complete and utter stupidity."
"Finally, I've gotten your attention."
"Don't call me stupid!"
"I'm merely describing what my senses perceive."
"Stop it! You're really hurting my feelings!"
"If only it could be more than your feelings."
"Alright, someone here needs to take some niceness pills."
"Someone here certainly needs pills, but I don't believe it's me."
"You know what you need? A lollipop."
"That's the problem right there!"
Jacob is right – a life without lollipops would cause grumpiness.
And hey, I was serious about you checking out my book Freefly on Amazon. Picture me making a sad face at you. Or an angry face. Whichever would be more persuasive.