It was night time and I lay on the wet grass staring at the stars, i lay in my lizard like costume, hugging the mask against my chest, my armour lieing beside me. Images of her flashing through my mind. The same old fantasies flashing through my head, we are sitting under a tree in a park in town, we watch the people go by as I hold you in my arms. She looks at me and smiles, I smile back and then I kiss her….

I turned over smiling, then reality hit me and the frown came back. Why? Why can't I have her? The thoughts echoed in my head again. I was so in love with her, yet she thought of me as just a friend. I thought we had something special when I first saw her and she tied that scarf around my head. Now I did't know what to do, I was so mixed up and confused. She'd left me feeling lonely and confused. I turned over to lie on my side and stared at the little blades of grass that lay in front of me. Why? I asked as tears formed in my eyes. I turned the mask towards me and memories flooded into my head of all the adventures we had shared together over these past few years. The way she made me laugh. I was so mixed up inside, my heart was bursting, screaming out her name! only god knew how much I felt for her, it was driving me crazy, tearing me up inside. Now the tears came, falling down my face like salty raindrops. I couldn't live without her, I couldn't breathe without her. She left me listening to Busted's loner in love over and over.

No one understood my pain, my anger, my anguish. No one accepted my love, not even her. She filled my thoughts every second of the day.

I needed her, my Pacificwa…