A/N: Ok, this is just a random little story about the day Tsunade tried to kill Jiraiya. No yaoi, no sex, a couple curse words. Reviews will be appreciated. But no flames. Because if you flame this story, i'll burn down your house and turn you into a llama.

Besides, what were friends for?

"This is the worst idea you've ever had."

"It is not!"

"Yes, it is."

"The paper bomb in your refrigerator was the worst idea! This is the best!"

Jiraiya recalled slipping a paper bomb in his friends refrigerator. He had never saw Orochimaru look that scary and be that ticked off, ever. That was when he decided to stop playing pranks on the dark haired man after drinking a lot of sake.

"She's going to kill you."

"No she won't."

Orochimaru sighed as his teammate, and friend, though he'd never admit it, tried to peak into the bath house.

He was standing guard. Mainly because he didn't want the white haired man to get caught by their sensei, again. Jiraiya peaked in, and Orochimaru saw blood running down the side of the building. Obviously he found who he was looking for, Tsunade.

Sometimes he wondered why he put up with this. There was no excuse.


"Oh damn." Orochimaru said sarcastically. Until Jiraiya fell from his hiding spot and proceeded to scream like a woman as Tsunade beat the crap out of him. She was only wearing a towel. Orochimaru wasn't sure if the blood was from getting wailed on repeatedly or from his nose.

When Tsunade was finished she turned to him.


"Are just here to make sure he doesn't die." Orochimaru answered calmly. She stomped off angrily, to go put on clothes. Jiraiya was laying there.

"Told you."

"Help, me," Jiraiya was obviously in a lot of pain. Orochimaru relented, using the only small healing jutsu's he knew. It wasn't enough. But it was enough to keep Jiraiya from dying until they got to the hospital.

"One day I won't be around to save your perverted ass."

Jiraiya for once didn't respond. Orochimaru figured it was blood loss. But for now, he'd save his teammate from death. Besides, what were friends for?