This is it.

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Year 5

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February

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"It's not good news."

Derek closed his eyes and paced a few steps before turning back, "Okay."

"Do you want to wait for her?"

"No." Derek stopped pacing and turned to face the doctor, his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

"Okay," the doctor flipped open the file, "We knew there could be side effects."

"We knew it could be things like appitite, nausea and erectile disfunction," Derek pointed out.

"We discussed that they could be a little more serious," the doctor looked at him pointedly, "Your kidney's are failing."

"From anti-depressants?"

"It's an experimental drug," he shook his head, "We were monitoring you closely, we caught it early. We'll start you on medication but by summer you'll probably need dialysis. It shouldn't be a huge ordeal for you, every 10 days or so. In a couple years you'll probably need a new kidney, but we'll worry about that then."

"Transplant?"

"That's a ways down the road. We'll try medication for awhile. I think that should keep things under control for awhile yet."

"What if it doesn't?"

He folded his hands, "Without treatment I'd give you a year, maybe a bit more. With the dialysis –– 5 years before we need to start looking for a transplant.

"5 years," Derek spoke softly to himself.

"What we are really concerned about the stress this is going to put on your heart. There's a distinct possibility that this is going to aggravate your angina. You'll probably find yourself having more attacks."

"I started taking the anti-depression medication so I wouldn't feel the stress and have the attacks," Derek shook his head and looked down at the floor.

"And we thought we had it under control when it didn't effect your blood pressure. I'm sorry Derek."

Derek smiled wearily, "Well, at least it's not erectile dysfunction right."

XXXX

"Single?"

"Yes. I mean no, Yes? I'm not married."

"Common-law?"

"I guess. We're divorced."

"Single."

"No. We're together. We're just divorced."

"Okay. Kids?"

"No. Yes. No kids right now, but we should make provisions for kids."

"How many?"

"Two? To be on the safe side."

The lawyer shot him a look and went back to his notes, "Do you currently have a will?"

"Yes."

"And the beneficiary?"

"Meredith Grey."

"And that's changing?"

Derek hesitated, "I want her to have something," he ran his hand over his face, "Split it."

"The whole estate?"

"Minus the kids education. Split it between Addison, Meredith and my Mother."

"Addison is the common-law wife?"

"Yes. No. Addison's third should go to the kids too. She doesn't need my money."

"And if there are no children?"

"To Meredith's kids. For school, maybe a trust?"

"And your relationship to Ms. Grey?"

"Girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend,"

"So, the event that no children are born of your relationship with your common-law partner then you want all monies that you've set aside for their education and two-thirds of your estate should go to Ms. Grey."

"Ah. No. Addison would kill me," Derek smiled wearily, "That third and the kids education money should be put in a trust, Addison as executor, but put in there that I want her to make sure Meredith's kids get money for college, it's the least we can do. But if she wants to set up a scholarship or something with the rest thats fine."

"Derek? Why is Sadie on the back deck barking... Oh. Hello," Addison put her purse on the table on the inside of the door and advanced towards the couch where Derek was sitting across from a man she didn't know.

"Addison this is Arnie Gilmore. I'm updating my will."

Addison's brow furrowed as she shook the lawyers hand and sat on the couch beside Derek, "Why?"

"We'll talk later," he promised her and kissed her cheek, "Now. I have some investments and property listed in the old will…"

XXXX

"What's wrong?" Addison's hands were on her hips the second the door closed behind Arnie the lawyer.

"My kidney's are failing," he stated bluntly.

She stared at him, then sat heavily on the edge the couch.

"We need to talk about some things," he knelt on the floor in front of her and took her hand, "I want us to have kids. And I think we need to do it now."

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April

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"I've been doing some research."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Derek set the laptop down on the table between them and pulled up a medical journal, "This article says that in-vitro fertilization is just as effective in women that have had a tubal ligation then those that have not."

Addison rested her chin in the palm of her hand and watched him passively.

"You said you had your tubes cauterized, so reversal isn't really an option. Other then a surrogate which I have issues with, I think this is our best option if we want to have our own baby."

"You have issues with surrogates?"

"It doesn't seem as intimate."

"And in-vitro does?"

"Well no. Not the actual procedure. But the pregnancy. The cravings and the kicking, watching you get fat –– that part." Derek scrolled back up to the top of the article, "And I have this information on the highest authority because you wrote this paper 12 years ago."

Addison smirked, "Did I."

"You did."

"I'm 45, Derek."

"That's not to old," he insisted.

"You know that's not the problem, Derek. If I can have a baby at 45 then I can have it at 46."

Derek looked away, "What if I'm not here then?"

"Exactly," Addison agreed softly, "I don't want to do this alone. And I don't want to be dividing my attention if you need me."

"I'm going to be fine."

"You don't know that Derek. No one knows that. We could have one more year or we could have 30 more years. I just want to wait and see how this all turns out and then we can talk about this some more."

"It's going to work Addison."

"Derek," she wasn't going to fight him on this, she didn't even want to think about it, "You don't know that. It would be a high risk pregnancy on top of everything else. We can't handle it right now."

"Why not?" he was being stubborn. He'd never been so sure of anything in his life, he just needed to convince her.

"Because what if your kidney's continue to fail? What if dialyses doesn't work. What if you need bypass surgery or a kidney transplant? What if you die Derek?"

"What if I die?" He asked calmly.

"I'm not discussing this."

"I'm okay with leaving you to raise our baby if I die."

Addison leaned back a bit, not sure how to take this.

"Yes, it's selfish. But I want to have a baby. And I realize that there is a chance that I might not be around to watch that baby grow up, a slim chance, but a chance. And if things go wrong then at least I can die knowing that you aren't completely alone. I'll know that you'll have someone to spend Christmas with and to visit you in the nursing home. Even if we have another 30 years together it won't enough time, and common sense tell us that I'm going to die first, and when I do I want you to have our child to help you through that. And if it looks like me all the better. Addison, this is a good idea," he spoke earnestly.

"I can't think about this right now," Addison shook her head and stood up. She paused at the door way and looked back at him, considering it for a moment longer, then shook her head again and left the room.

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May

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"Now is the perfect time."

"No."

"I could be a stay at home Dad."

Addison glared at him, "It's to much for me right now. There is to much going on."

"If we don't do it this week we have to wait another month. We need to at least talk about it."

"We aren't doing it this month. Let's get through this year and then we can talk about it."

"We might not have that much time."

Addison sighed sadly, "Not this month Derek. I can't do this now."

Derek nodded and turned back to drying the dishes.

"It's not that I don't want to have a baby."

"I know," he reached for a coffee mug and dried it thoroughly.

"Okay," Addison watched him carefully, "Just so long as you know."

"I know."

"Okay."

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June

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"When I tell people not to page me because I'm going out to dinner, don't page me! I'm going out to dinner!" Addison slammed her clutch down on the counter and glared.

"You look hot," Mark looked her up and down.

"Thanks," she replied tersely, "I had a date."

"A hot date," Derek sauntered up behind her, "I got you 24 hour parking, but if you're done before 8 we can still catch the symphony."

"Derek, good," Richard stepped up behind them, "I need you on board for this one. 24 weeks with twins, tumour on her spine."

"I'm not taking cases right now."

Richard scoffed.

"I'm taking some time off, considering retiring."

"Addison, talk to him."

Addison laughed, then looked at Derek and shook her head, "Honey, do you want to go back to work?" she asked, still laughing at the absurdity of the question.

"No, Dear," he smiled at her smile.

"I don't understand," Richard looked between the two of them.

"I took time off so I could spend more time with her. Take her out to diner, go to the symphony, rent movies and make spaghetti––"

"You can spend time with her at the hospital," Richard interrupted.

"Why don't you take time off too," Mark asked Addison.

"Because," Derek answered for her, "she doesn't think it's fair to take an extended leave of absence then take maternity leave."

Mark and Richard looked over to Addison in surprise.

"Potentially," Derek added.

"Is the tumour operable?" Addison changed the subject, "Is there even anything we can do tonight? 'Cause I'm hungry."

"Because of the location of the tumour the mother has lost all feeling from about halfway down her spine. She can't feel her babies move."

"Okay," Addison's brow furrowed.

"And the tumour is cancerous. Dr. Raines believes that if we operate we can restore sensation, however we'll cut her life expectancy from 5 years down to about 18 months."

Derek nodded, "So we operate."

"No!" Addison turned to him, "Are you crazy?"

"She'll have 18 month with her children actually being able to mother them like she wants."

"Or she could have 5 years and they'll actually remember her."

"But she'll miss the best parts!" Derek exclaimed, "What's the point in having the experience if you can't even enjoy it."

"You do it for the other person! Sometimes you need to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about the person that you are going to leave behind because they are the one thats going to have to live. Things don't get easier when you die Derek, they get harder! And I can't ––" She stopped suddenly and stared at him, "–– It's not fair to her babies, Derek."

Around them people were starting to look up and take notice. Meredith, her 3 week old baby girl strapped to her chest, looked up from her conversation with Bailey; Cristina forgot about the doctor on the other end of her phone line; George dropped his orange.

"Add?" Derek reached for her wrist but she pulled away from him further and pressed her palms against her cheekbones, "I'm not going to die," he assured her softly, he touched the small of her back and glanced at Richard and Mark –– who didn't know the whole story, just that he was taking extended stress leave.

"I can't do this," she breathed, her voice shaky

He touched her shoulder gently, then grasped her shoulder and pulled her gently against him. His arms encircled her shoulders and he held her tightly, her arms wrapped around his ribs so tightly it hurt him. Her forehead pressed into his neck and her tears slid down his neck and collarbone.

"I don't want to live the rest of my life without you," she cried softly into his neck.

"I'm not going to die."

"You could."

"I could, but I'm not."

"I can't go back to not being with you," she hadn't loosened her hold on him at all, "I refuse. You are just going to have to suck it up and live until I'm done with you."

"What's wrong," Meredith rounded the counter hesitantly.

"I don't know," Richard shook his head.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know," Richard kept his eyes trained on them.

Derek gently rocked Addison back and forth, softening his grip just a bit, "I love you."

She inhaled shakily and leaned into his chest more, "I love you too." She stepped away from him and his thumbs moved immediately over her cheeks to push away the tears. She chuckled and used her own hands to try and fix her face, "I'm a mess." She looked around, for the first time noticing all the people silently staring at them, "And I'm humiliated."

"Well," he gently kissed her cheek and wiped away the last of her tears, "You never did flip out in a calm and rational away."

"Addison?" Richard stepped up crossed his arms in a concerned yet intimidating way.

"I'm fine Chief," Addison stood up a little straighter and moved a little closer to Derek, "Let's get back to work."

"You're in?" Richard looked to Derek.

Derek squeezed Addison's hand, "I'm in."

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July

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"Sign," Addison pushed a piece of paper across the table and flipped through the stack in front of her.

Derek picked up a pen, "What is it."

"Do you care? Just sign it."

"I've decided to wear black for my wedding," Sydney crossed her arms over her stomach, "I'm not sure why, it just seems appropriate."

"Sydney," Mark rolled his eyes, "You are not fatter with this baby then you were with the other 4."

"Maybe not then the twins, but I'm…" she gestured over her whole body, "Spreading."

"That's because this one is a boy. He's bigger."

"Maybe."

"Did you see that? She thinks this one is a boy too. She's not humouring me like she did with the girls. She thinks this one is a boy too."

"I'm willing it to be a boy. I'm not having anymore after this. 5 is my limit. If it's another girl you just accept the fact that starting in about 5 years we are going to be buying Tampax in bulk for 2 decades."

"5 years…" Mark paled.

"They're 8. It's happening."

"Sign," Addison pushed the piece of paper over to them and dropped a pen on top.

"Both of us?" Mark scanned the paper, then raised an eyebrow at Addison.

"Yes. Both of you," Addison stared him into silence.

Sydney smirked, but signed and handed the paper back to Addison, "I think Addison should wear white though. Actually, thats not a bad idea, Addison, Callie and the girls can wear white, I'll wear black. It's just backwards enough that it works. Your groomsmen can wear white jackets –– and I'm a genius."

"Okay," Addison ignored Sydney and scanned the signatures, "I'll be right back." She left Joe's and crossed the street. Sliding into the back seat she handed the paper to the driver, "Everyone signed their own names, I swear."

"Except you," Laura handed the paper back.

Addison grabbed it back and scrawled her name across it.

"Okay," Laura reviewed the form, signed it herself, and reached into her purse for a stamp pad and a seal. "There you go. Signed and notarized," she handed the paper back along with a certificate and another handful of papers, "Congratulations."

"Thank you, Judge Bartlett." Addison crossed the street again and slide back into her booth, "There you go," she dropped the stack of papers in front of Derek, "We are now legally married, I've changed my name back to Addison Shepherd, my mortgage is now in both our names, and I'm still not having your baby."

Derek stared at the paper a moment, then turned to her with wide eyes.

"Do you want to kiss the bride?" She asked with a smile.

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August

XXXX

"He still wants to have a baby?"

Addison ignored the question, "Who's been using my shampoo?"

"Meredith," Alex shrugged, "She weakens sometimes, we get a babysitter with the intention of going to a movie... not important. Just humour him and have the baby."

Addison rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"He wants to have a baby. He wants to have it with you. 8 years ago you weren't exactly opposed to the idea, just have the baby. Grant the dying man his last wish."

"He's not going to die."

"Then what the hell is your problem. You know, this is one of those times that 'my body my choice' seems completely unfair. He'd do it for you."

"Well it is my body and it is my choice and I don't want to have a baby right now."

Alex nodded and poured her another glass of orange juice, "Derek would understand if you were saying no for good reason. Being scared isn't a good enough reason this time. And Christ Addison, the wedding is in 4 days, could you not make everything all about you?"

XXXX

Addison took a sip of juice, glaring across the banquet room at her stupid husband who she currently hated.

"What's wrong?" Alex appeared suddenly at her side and cut right to the chase..

Addison looked around and gauged how close other people were standing, "We were talking to Catherine," she half exclaimed, half whined, "And I think she wants a grandson."

"Oh," Alex nodded, seeing how that would be a problem.

"And Derek said it was a top priority!" she shook her head in exasperation and took another drink, "A priority! Now! Of all the times to––" her eyes narrowed and he voice became low and slightly threatening, "We are not having a baby –– male or otherwise."

"You'd think that next week would be a more appropriate time to start trying procreating, unless this is a cycle thing that Derek's taking into consideration."

"You're not funny."

"I'm agreeing! You have a lot going on this week!"

Addison sighed, "I should go find him. It's not his fault that he's… him and I'm me." she drained half her glass and held it out to Alex, "You want the rest? It's orange juice."

Addison walked away, smiling brightly at family and friends as she met them, then finally settling herself at Derek's side and putting her arm around his waist, "I'm back."

Derek looked at her in surprise, but put his arm around her waist and held her close, "Sorry."

"You can't just say things like that to people Derek."

"It's my mother."

"This is personal. And it's private. I don't want other people to … I need this to just be us."

"Okay."

"You know how our relationship looks to other people. You know they speculate."

"I know."

"And people will pity us if you're sick and I'm pregnant. They'll pity you, they'll pity me, and no matter what they'll pity any child that we bring into this relationship with our history. I don't want people pitying our kids, especially when we don't have any."

"That's not fair."

"Well, that's how it is."

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Present Day

XXXX

"Are you looking for me? Sorry, I'm running a bit behind."

Addison looked at her colleague in confusion. Sarah was new, good but new. And they weren't currently working on anything together so Addison wasn't quite sure why… "Why would I be looking for you?"

"You had an appointment scheduled with me for 15 minutes ago."

"I did?" Addison shook her head. Admittedly her life was a little more hectic then usually lately –– and that was aside from the fact that all 4 Sloan girls were still staying at her house because their new baby brother was still in the NICU with sleep apnea and not surprisingly his parents were reluctant to take him home when he slops breathing randomly while he sleep –– but she couldn't imagine why she would make an appointment with Sarah on the day of Derek's… Sarah was a fertility specialist, "Did I make the appointment or did Derek?" Addison asked sharply.

"You didn't want the appointment?" Sarah asked in surprise.

"No," Addison planted her hands on her hips, "What was the appointment for?"

"Ummm. You know you probably shouldn't get mad at Derek right now."

Addison arched an eyebrow, "You'd think that. But I think he made the appointment for today so that I couldn't get mad at him. He's wrong."

"Well. I don't think that's why he made the appointment."

"Then why did he make it?"

"I don't know," Sarah shrugged weakly, "But I was under the impression that you were ovulating and time was of the essence so we were skipping all the preliminary screenings and just going for it."

"Going for it?"

"I'm not comfortable with this conversation."

"So can I correctly assume that you've already met with Derek?"

"Well, I kinda needed a sample," Sarah sighed awkwardly, "Please, don't sue me for malpractice."

Addison barely contained a smile at that, "Sue you for malpractice? Because you conspired with Derek to impregnate me without my knowledge?"

"I think you probably would have figured it out, what with the stirrups and the big needles into your ovaries. I'm good but I would actually need some participation on your end."

"Not helping your case."

"I'm sorry. I thought you knew. What kind of guy arranges in-vitro behind his partners back? I thought you were just trying to keep it quiet at work."

Addison shook her head, "He's lucky he already dying. Otherwise I'd kill him."

XXXX

Addison stood in the doorway silently for a long moment. Derek sat across the room from her in a reclining chair covered in a blanket. The table beside him was piled with books and papers; and he was fast asleep. She closed her eyes for a moment. She couldn't yell at him when he was asleep and hooked up to a dialysis machine.

She took a few steps into the room, examining the machine as if it would tell her that everything would be okay.

"Hey," Derek smiled at her groggily and reached out for her hand.

"Hey," she smiled back and stepped closer, "So, I ran into Sarah this morning."

"Ah."

"Yeah. 'Ah'. You have anything you want to tell me?"

Derek dropped his head back against his seat, "How long can you stay?"

Addison arched her brow and smirked, "I decided to take the rest of the day."

"You don't have to do that."

"I need to keep my eye on you," she said pointedly, she reached behind her to drag a chair closer but he stopped her with a tug on her hand.

"Come sit with me,"

Addison looked uncertainly at the tubing attached to his arm and stretching over to the dialysis machine.

"Just lean against my good arm," he moved over in his chair and pulled her down beside him. She moved carefully, attempting not to jostle him at all, and stretched her legs over his lap, kicked her shoes of and tucked her feet under his knees.

"Give me that blanket. I'm wearing a skirt," she covered her legs and curled in his side. She rested her fingers lightly on his arm and watched as he toyed with her fingertips. She tucked her head into his neck and inhaled deeply, "Does it hurt?"

"No," he assured her. Nuzzling his cheek against her hair he dropped his head down so their faces were close together and they were cut off from everyone else, "But I'm glad you're staying."

"Well," she shifted slightly then settled back in his arms and snuggled into his neck, "I'm not allowed to practice medicine today," she rolled her neck back so she could watch his profile as she spoke softly, "And I'm suppose to be on bed rest until tomorrow. No water-skiing, no rock climbing, no uterus-bouncing sex."

He turned his head to look at her.

"I took the appointment," she smiled shyly.

His face lit up, "So they started…" he glanced down at her abdomen, "When do you go back?"

She could see the wheels turning in his head, "I don't have to go back. You were a little off in your numbers. It usually takes a few days. They have to get the eggs and fertilize them and do all this other stuff then put them back. And usually the woman is aware that she'll be doing this and takes drugs so she'll produce more eggs."

"Oh."

Addison tapped her fingers against her stomach, "But we were lucky and your little guys seemed to know exactly what they needed to do." Both their eyes traveled down to her abdomen. Addison continued softly, "When I woke up Sarah said the egg was already fertilized asked if I wanted to go ahead without all the bells and whistles they usually do. As soon as the anesthesia from the egg retrieval wore off they implanted the embryo."

"Our baby's in their right now?"

"It probably wont work," Addison reminded him, "I just thought I'd give it a try, since you're having a bad day," she curled into him a little more and his hand protectively covered her stomach.

"When will we know?"

"10 days," she closed her eyes, her hand running over the hand that was guarding her stomach.

"10 days," he closed his eyes too and pulled her a bit closer with his good arm, "You know we have rules about touching like this in your hospital."

"Screw the rules."

XXXX

"Derek, what are you doing?" Derek turned around to see his mother, hands on her hips, glaring at him.

"Getting Addison some milk," he closed the cupboard door and glanced out the kitchen window to the Sloan girls who were playing with Sadie in the backyard.

"Shouldn't you be resting?"

"No. I feel fine."

"You had all the blood in your body sucked out and cleaned, go lay down, Derek." Catherine ordered, standing aside so he could pass her and go up to bed.

"Okaaay."

"I'm coming to check on you."

"Fine." Derek shook his head and made his way upstairs and into the master bedroom, "Add. Don't lay on your stomach, you'll squish it."

Addison chuckled and obediently rolled onto her side, "How come you're the one that had all his blood cleaned and filtered today and I'm the one not allowed out of bed?"

"Because you're trying to grow a person," he told her softy.

"Oh," she smiled as he abandoned her milk on top of the dresser and stretched out on the bed beside her. Resting on his stomach he curled a pillow into his arms. She moved closer and slipped her hand under his shirt so she could rub his back, "I'm only doing this if you promise to live for another 40 years. Preferably 50."

"You think you can live with me that long?"

She leaned over and kissed the tip of his nose. When she spoke again her tone was low and intimate,"I know I couldn't live without you that long, so what other option do I have?" Her hand trailed down his back, absently rubbing her hand over his kidney's.

He brought one hand up to rest against her neck, his thumb rubbing over her cheekbone, "Watch those hands there" he teased softly, "Now is not the time to be getting frisky."

Her smile faded into a sigh, "You're incorrigible."

"Mmmm," he smiled at her, still rubbing her cheek, "You know what today is?"

"No."

"It's the ten year anniversary of our divorce," he continued to speak gently.

"It's been 10 years?"

"Yeah."

"Wow," she breathed.

"I think I'm happier today then I was when I married you the first time," he said quietly.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Me too," she agreed softly, "But we missed so much time. We lost so much time together Derek and I can't loose you again."

"You won't," he assured her, "You won't loose me. Not ever."

Catherine watched them from the doorway, true to her word she wanted to make sure Derek was resting.

"It's not fair," Addison whispered, not crying but her voice unsteady, "It's not fair. I just got you back."

"I know," he moved even closer. He was still laying on his stomach beside her, he wanted to turn so they were both on their sides so he could wrap his arms around her, but something about the solemnity of the moment stopped him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive," Catherine leaned against the door frame. She was hesitant to enter their room.

"You were," Addison murmured softly, "You were the only one that thought we shouldn't get divorced."

Catherine nodded tearfully, "But with Meredith, I encouraged you to stay because I thought it was the right thing to do. I knew your heart wasn't in it and I told you it would get better. I said she was the mother of your child and you owed it to her –– and, I knew that you wanted to be together. And when you told me you'd been having… when you told me why Meredith left you I said horrible things," her voice broke, "and I didn't understand how you could intentionally hurt people like you did. I didn't want you to start another relationship. I told you not to… and now your sick and hurting and how could I have done that too you? You just wanted be with the person you love and I stopped you."

"You didn't stop us," Derek smiled at Addison and didn't take his eyes off of her, "Nothing stopped us. As destructive as that was for everyone," he teased.

Addison smiled.

"But you found each other again, that's what matters," Catherine assured them.

Addison laughed softly and Derek chuckled.

Catherine smiled at them and left the room.

"That's all that matters," Addison repeated.

"Apparently."

"I could have married Geoffrey and had 10 of his children and I still would have loved you."

"I was happy with Meredith but I was still madly in love with you," he leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose.

"I'm glad we can be in love with each other now and we don't have to hide it anymore, Derek."

"Me too."

"I just want to be in love with you. That's all I want. I just want to be in love with you and not have people tell us we shouldn't be together. I want to be in love with you."

"Me too," he ran his thumb over her lip, "Just us. In love. For real this time."

"It was always for real."

XXXX

"Do you need anything?"

Derek shook his head and leaned back against the headboard, "I need you to lay back down."

"I will," Addison picked up the laptop from the desk and climbed into bed. She opened it up and set it on her lap.

"Keep that away from your stomach. Radiation."

Addison smiled, but passed the computer over to him, "See if Rebecca e-mailed me."

"Who's Rebecca?"

"My real estate agent."

"Something you aren't telling me?"

"You made me an appointment with a fertility specialist, in retaliation I put our house up for sale."

Derek stared at her.

"Mark's married, you're semi-retired, I can't work these hours if I have a baby," She smiled, "So, I decided we would move back to Connecticut." She leaned over and kissed him, "Surprise."

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So I feel I should say something meaningful. Unfortunately I don't have a meaningful bone in my body.

What I will say is that I hope you liked the end. Personally I feel content with where I have left them. I just like feeling that there is more in front of them, but they are going to be alright together. This chapter was one of the easier ones to write cause I was ready to be done, but I still worried that it wasn't going to convey them as I see them. I'm still concerned that it doesn't and I worry that I'll post and tomorrow morning I'll find the perfect words.

Jury is still out on wether or not I'm going to write again. I do have an idea where Addison does something similar to what Meredith did with Cade. Or I have a bunch of Addek love letters saved to my hard drive.

Or I might write a real piece of fiction. I just don't have any ideas.

So. For the final time:

Review.

Not because I've promised you action figures and pets and alcohol.

But because I still have those Voo-Doo dolls left over from Tear Your Love Apart.