Summary: How could we lose that note? It's just gone, simply vanished, where anyone could read it and figure out that I, Lily Evans, fancy James Potter.

Disclaimer: I don't own it, Jo does.

The Disappearing Confession

a Siriusly Klutzy story.

Situations are not my forte. My forte is panicking. So when a tough situation comes around, it is so not my forte to handle it, but I can panic like it's nobody's business. I don't know why. I was never the best at handling situations, other than panicking when they came my way.

This… well, this is a situation that I didn't want to get into, didn't know how to handle, and would let me excel even further in my true forte.

"What do you mean you lost the note?" I all but screech-whispered at Alice who was frantically searching through her bag for the piece of parchment that she swore she put in there.

"I mean, I can't find it!" she exclaimed, tossing her History of Magic book at me. "Lily, I swear I put it in here. I swear to you! I know I did! It has to be in here. Just… just don't panic, alright?"

Don't panic? Sometimes I can't believe Alice when she's being serious like this. Really? Telling me not to panic? When she lost the note I sent her about fancying James Potter?

Right, Alice. I won't panic. Not at all. Not one little bit of panic is going to escape me.

"Alice! What if he finds it? What if you dropped it? And he sees his name? So he picks it up? And he reads it? And then he'll know! And then how am I supposed to do duties with him when he knows that I fancy him? It's not possible Alice. It is physically impossible."

Alice, in addition to looking at me like I was a complete mental case, dropped the papers she was shuffling through back into her bag, and grabbed my shoulders. "Lily. We will find it. And if we don't, you can beat me a million times, and steal Mum's cookies when she sends them. You can take my identity and I'll go around as the one that fancies James. Don't worry. It should- will- turn out fine."



If it's going to turn out fine then why do we have to go through all of the stress to get there?

It just doesn't make sense to me. Not one bit. She can't find the parchment. It isn't anywhere in her entire bag. She's looked at every bit of parchment, flipped through ever book, checked every pocket- bag and robe, - and shuffled through ever folder. And nothing.

Information about my fancying status was floating somewhere around the castle as we frantically searched in one spot.

"Do you remember where you saw it last?" I asked, double checking every piece of parchment that she tossed on the floor, not bothering to look when people shouted out things when we hit them with flying elbows or balls of Potions notes. Because nothing was more important than finding that note.

"We wrote it in Potions, right?" Alice asked me, now giving up on the "organized" search and dumping the entire contents of her bag on the floor. We both shrunk down on our knees and searched every inch of parchment again.

"Right," I answered. "And you had it last. Because Slughorn was looking at us oddly so you stuffed it somewhere."

"Right. So we'll just trace our steps and every possible place my bag could have dropped it," Alice said in the sanest voice she could muster, but she didn't look sane at all. Here hair was out of control because she was running her hands through it so much and her fringe was standing on end. Though I'm sure I didn't look much better.

"Okay… I'll go check Potions. Slughorn won't question why I'm in there. I'll say extra credit or something and then search. Do you want to try McGonagal?" I asked, bouncing up and down from an adrenaline rush. We had to find this note. We just had to.

I gave her History of Magic book back- there was no way I was lugging that around with me while I was panicking like a fish that saw a shark.

"Do you want to meet in the Great Hall in half an hour? That way we'll still have some time for lunch?" Alice asked, holding her stomach which was grumbling.

"Lunch? Alice, if we don't find that we're never eating again! I'm not because I will live in my room forever, under a nice rock where no one can find me, particularly James Potter. And you, being my best mate, are also obligated to do so. Under your own rock, of course. As I will not want to share mine," I said, getting a bit hysterical. This wasn't the time for thinking about future living arrangements!

"We'll find it," Alice determinedly said.

I dashed off towards the dungeons while she ran towards Transfiguration.

Dashing off to the dungeons, it turns out, wasn't particularly bright. Loads of third years were coming out after staying an extra few minutes so that Slughorn could properly demonstrate what, exactly, will happen if you spill a little bit of Sleeping Draught on your robes. Why? I don't know. But I heard them grumbling about it.

Because of this, the entire class was coming out at once, and heading in the exact opposite direction than I was. I couldn't even push through as they formed a big wall of black robes and wouldn't let me pass even though I was practically shouting, "Oi! I'm Head Girl! Let me through! This is an emergency!" and completely exploiting my position as Head Girl. But they completely didn't listen. They went about on their way to lunch, chatting like nothing was wrong in the world.

James could be figuring out that I fancied him if I didn't get through that stupid block of third years!

Finally, after many threats, breakthroughs, and lots of elbowing, I made it into the classroom where only a lone person was standing at their cauldron talking to Slughorn. I quickly ducked over to my table and began searching for that stupid piece of parchment. Sure, there were loads of pieces of parchment, but none that said I can't help it that I fancy James. It's beyond my control. –L But you do, Lil. Too late. –A Plus a bunch more that's kind of irrelevant, that just blatantly says everything.

So that was kind of unfortunate.

I did, however, find a piece of parchment with a note from Miranda Levy to someone about what she thought of Sirius's arse- all positive, go figure- which in no way made me feel any better. If I could find a note about Sirius's bum, someone could have easily found a note from me to Alice.

"Miss Evans? Are you looking for something?" Slughorn called. I looked up from my spot on the floor to see him and the lone third year looking at me like I was absolutely mad. Which, in a way, I was.

"Oh, erm, I am. I just lost some notes that I thought I might need. But… I don't think they're here," I semi-lied quickly. "Sorry about that. I'll just be leaving now."

"Not to worry, Lily. I'm sure they'll turn up," Slughorn said merrily, obviously not noticing my itching to get out of there. "Say, are you up for a Slug Club meeting some time this week…"

And after that, I was stuck for fifteen minutes discussing details of where it should be, who should come, what time it should be at, and if there should be a special guest (Slughorn liked to bring in random but well-known people, just to boast about who he knew, and he gave them a chance to talk about their times and how they met). Slowly I would try to take small steps towards the door, but he'd lure me back with talk about some potion he was showing the underclassmen.

There really was no escape.

Once half an hour had passed, and I was ten minutes late for meeting Alice at lunch, I told him that if I didn't leave soon I wouldn't have time to rush up to get the essay I owed Binns, even though we already had Binns, but he didn't need to know that.

I ran as fast as I could in a school uniform and carrying a bag that was half my size and made it to the Great Hall merely fourteen minutes late. Alice looked up eagerly with her arms out in a shrug. She shook her head. I sighed and nearly collapsed right in the middle of the doorway. Instead, I just heaved a big sigh.

"Something wrong, Lily?"

I spun around to see who could possibly approach me when I obviously looked like a complete mad woman. Then I wished I hadn't turned. It was James, and he was standing there with that smile he always has that worries me because I never know what it is he's smiling at.

"Wah!" I shouted when I saw that it was him, feeling like a complete idiot because I was so easily taken by surprise. I cleared my throat. "Yes. I mean, no. I mean, yes, kind of, but no. It's nothing that you-… there really isn't…. Hello, James."

Smooth, Lily. Real smooth.

"Really now?" he asked, ushering Sirius, Remus, and Peter to go on ahead of him into the Great Hall.

"Well, it's just…" I tried to explain, stumbling on my words like I would on cobblestone in heels. "I just… lost some notes, is all."

Brilliant, Lily. That's in no way obvious.

"Really? What class? You could copy mine if you'd like," James offered.

I felt a rush of gratitude and was about to accept when I remembered that I didn't actually need any notes like that. I just needed my note.

"Oh, it's not a class we're in together," I lied, semi-more smoothly than before.


"Yeah, it's… the History of… the… Cheese Wheel," I finished lamely and turned beat red. Well, it couldn't really get much worse than that, could it?

"Really? Yeah, I heard that class was tough," James said. He was mocking me! When I was so obviously going mad, he was mocking me. "But speaking of notes," he said, leaning in closer to me, "did you hear about the one that Sirius and I found?"

I felt my blood run cold. "A… a note?" I responded, trying my best at nonchalance.

"Yeah. We found it in Potions. I'm not supposed to say anything though. He said it was too embarrassing."

Too… too embarrassing? Sweet Merlin, I wanted to melt into a puddle right then and there, and then be evaporated so that I would never have to face the world again. That is, until it rained Lily. But by then I'd be dispersed in enough different places that it wouldn't matter.

"Too… embarrassing, eh? What… what did it say?" I asked as my palms get extremely sweaty and I got slightly dizzy.

James shrugged. "It was just another Marauder worshiper," he answered.

I couldn't take it any more. So I completely, ridiculously, accidentally, blurted out, "Listen, I really didn't want you to find out that way. Actually, I didn't want you to find out ever, but seeing as this was inevitable- anyway. Alice and I dropped it. You weren't supposed to see it. I'm sorry it's awkward, but I can't help it. You're very fanciable, you know." Shut up, mouth. Shut up, shut up, shut UP! "And then I went back and it wasn't there, so I was hoping Alice found it and she didn't and that's obviously because you found it and if I had made it to Potions earlier then this-"

"Evans, Evans, Evans!" James said, waving his hands at me and motioning for me to be quiet so that he could talk. He all but grabbed my lips and held them together to make my word vomit stop. "What are you talking about?"

"I… what?" I asked, turning even more red.

"We found a note," James said slowly, "from Miranda Levy. Talking about Sirius's bum. And, you know, it's Miranda, that weird second year Slytherin. Sirius didn't want that going around." He grinned. "What did you think we were talking about?"

"You… didn't… find… the note?" I asked still in shock.

"When you say note, are you referring to one stating that you fancy me?" he asked, obviously having picked that out from my mad little mini-rant from before. His grin was from ear to ear, but I couldn't tell if it was from happiness or mocking. It was that damned confusing smile!

"But… you didn't find it?" I asked, still in awe and trying to pretend that he didn't just figure out that I did indeed fancy him.



I heard a squeal from behind me.

"I think Alice did, though," James said. He nodded in the direction of the squeal and before I could even turn so much and look, Alice collided with my back.

She pulled me off to the side.

"Alice, I accide-"

"Don't worry, Lily," she whispered with a huge grin. "I found it!"

My day brightened slightly, even though he knew! He knew! Because my great big gob decided it couldn't stay shut for two minutes!

"You found it?" I repeated. "Where? Alice, where was it?"

She grinned sheepishly. "In my History of Magic book."

"IT WAS THERE THE ENTIRE TIME?" I shouted, wanting to pass out now.

She nodded.

"But aren't you glad we found it? Before James or someone did?"

"Alice, it's a litt-"

"Because, even though you should tell him, you know, he can't ever find out unless one of us does and-"

"About that…" I tried again.

"-so really, it doesn't matter that we wasted half of our lunch because the secret-"

"- was spilled," James finished for her, taking a step closer to us.

"What?" Alice asked, thoroughly confused.

"She told me," James said happily.

"You what?" Alice screeched at me. "You had me running all over this bleeding castle and you told him?"

"It was an accident!" I explained, still wanting to melt into a nice little mute puddle. "He said something about a note and I jumped to conclusions and…" I waved my hand off in a circular motion, letting my sentence hang.

"So you know?" Alice asked, trying to get things straight.


"That Lily fancies you?"

His eyes bulged. "What!?" James shouted, feigning surprise.

"What?!" Alice asked, immediately starting to apologize to me.

James chuckled. "Just kidding. Yeah, I know."

Alice looked as faint as I felt.

"And you found out accidentally?" she confirmed wearily.

"I did, indeed."

"Weird," she decided.

"Completely," James agreed.

"Obnoxious," I muttered from my own little quiet spot. I was focusing so much on trying to disappear, or apparate, or something that I wasn't as involved in the conversation as I should have been.

"It took you long enough," James decided, looking at me with a happy smile.

"I guess," I agreed awkwardly.

"And you weren't going to say anything?" he asked as Alice "subtly" backed away.

"No," I answered slowly, but I started to smile.

"Blimey, I'm glad you're a blabbermouth." And then he kissed my blabbermouth, so I hoped it was good at something.

A/n: Hiya! I hope this means that I'm getting back into the habit of one-shots more often because I miss them! And I'm a little rusty so I've got to keep going at them. I always get worried that something like this is going to happen to me. But I always make sure to keep my notes or whatever safe. Because urgh I couldn't even imagine. Even if there was no big secret to be revealed, it'd still be annoying to have someone read a note, you know?

Thanks for reading and I really hope you liked it!

Much love and a professional note finder and a babe and some fudge (!),

Siriusly Klutzy