"I'm sorry, Luna, but I can't deal with this any more," Usagi said tiredly

AN: So yeah, this is my newest Sailor Moon fan fic. It's not finished yet, but for some reason I've decided to release it as I go along so I can get a better idea from my readers where to go with it. I hope you like it. I don't own Sailor Moon, obviously. On with the story.


"I'm sorry, Luna, but I can't deal with this any more," Usagi said tiredly.

"Usagi-chan, you have to. The Senshi need you, especially with this enemy after Chibiusa-chan. We all need you," the small cat pleaded, hoping to change her mistress's mind.

"I can't. I've tried, but I can't do it. This is all too much for me to do. Haven't I been through enough already? I've lost the people I care about too many times. I don't want to have to live through it again," she replied, carefully removing the precious Crystal from its nest in her broach. "I wished that the Ginzuishou would let me live a normal life again, but there's always a new enemy or a new problem. Mamo-chan doesn't love me any more. Trying to find him again was a huge part of the reason I held on when we were fighting Ali and En. I can't go on without him again, Luna. I died rather than be without him before. Isn't this a better way?"

"Usagi, using the Ginzuishou to erase your memories is not the solution. Like I said, we need you so much."

"Minako-chan has pretended to be me before. She can use the Moon Scepter, too. With the Luna Pen and the Scepter, you'll still be able to defeat the Droids and protect Chibiusa. I just can't take that much pressure any more," she said, carefully putting her empty broach, scepter, and Luna Pen in a box to be given to Minako, clutching the Ginzuishou in the other hand.

"You'll have to give the Ginzuishou to Rei-chan. She's got some magical training, so she should be able to use it. Luna, I need to do this," she declared, turning to face her feline guardian. "Would you rather have a dead Moon Princess or a live one that simply doesn't remember? You have to swear to me that you won't bring back my memories unless it's absolutely necessary. Please, Luna!"

Luna sighed, standing up. "You know I can't stop you, Usagi-chan. You're my princess, and I only want what's best for you, but running away from your problems won't solve them."

Usagi jokingly replied, "I'm not running away from my problems, I'm simply forgetting them." A sad smile hovered on her lips as she fought to stay calm. She'd cried far too frequently of late. "We need to get to the shrine. The others will be wondering where we are."


"Usagi, please don't do this," Rei implored her best friend. "What will we do without you?"

"You can all make friends with me again after I do this, minna. I just can't deal with being Sailor Moon and the Moon Princess any more. I already nearly lost you because of it. I'm not even a very good warrior. The four of you will be able to protect Chibiusa-chan without me."

"But Usagi-chan, we still don't know who's behind the attacks and why they're after her. We will probably need Sailor Moon. You're what keeps this group together. We would never have met without you," Minako protested, throwing her arms around her friend.

"Minako-chan, you were a Senshi long before I was. You're better equipped to handle this. I trust you. I just can't keep remembering that I had someone that loved me and then lost him. Princess Serenity killed herself rather than live without Endymion. Isn't this better?" Usagi questioned gently, hugging the other girl back. She had made up her mind.

Minako backed away as the four warriors exchanged unhappy looks. They didn't want to fight without her, but they wanted her to be happy again more. Usagi had been perpetually happy before the world had crashed down around her.

"I can't help but feel like there's a reason this shouldn't happen, but it's your choice. I'll support whatever you decide, Usagi-chan," Ami stated simply.

"Arigato, Ami-chan," Usagi whispered as she hugged her friend. She looked up at the others. "Everybody ready? You'll have to make sure I get back home before I wake up," she said as she stood up. "Hopefully, I'll see you all soon."

"When you do, you'd better make sure you're happy again," Makoto ordered. "I'll make sure to offer you some food when you forget your lunch on Monday. Then we can be friends again."

"I'm going to live with Mako-chan," Luna informed the group. "It would be too hard to keep from talking around Usagi-chan."

All five girls nodded. "Will someone remember to tell Chibiusa that I won't remember?" Usagi suddenly asked.

"I already took care of it," Rei assured her. "She knows not to say anything about Sailor Moon or anything else. We haven't had any trouble yet since you defeated Rubeus, so we may be alright."

Usagi took a deep breath as she lifted the Ginzuishou. "Please, Ginzuishou, I just want an ordinary life. I don't want to remember the past, or being Sailor Moon. Just let me be an ordinary girl again," she whispered.

The Ginzuishou blazed to life, flashing brightly as it enveloped its princess in the pink waves of power. Usagi dropped to the ground, unconscious, as the Ginzuishou floated over her head.

Rei bowed her head slightly and whispered to the stone, "Ginzuishou, I would wield you in the Princess's place, if I may, until such time that she can do so herself."

The Crystal flashed again and moved to float over the priestess's hand, showing its acquiescence. She gently closed her fingers over it as she lifted its chain up, settling the necklace in place.

"Ready, Mako-chan?" Luna asked. She nodded, then held up her henshin pen.


Sailor Jupiter carefully lifted her unconscious princess before running down the road, taking Usagi back to her house. The other girls watched her go with a heavy heart.

"Goodbye, Usagi-chan. I just pray when we meet again you'll be alright," Ami said wistfully.


The next day started in the same fashion one would normally expect for Usagi: she overslept and ended up running out of the house with ten minutes till the bell.

"Oh, I'm SOOOO late! Why didn't Mom wake me up in time?" she shrieked as she ran down the streets, not even noticing the man who had been both arch-foe and boyfriend to the younger girl at various times. He looked shocked when she didn't even glance at him, or run into him like she usually did.

She raced into her classroom a matter of seconds before the bell, skidding into her desk and knocking it over.

"Tsukino-san!" her teacher shouted. "Why can't you enter the room more gracefully, instead of attacking the furniture?"

"Gomen nasai, Haruna-sensei," the girl murmured, sinking into her seat. The teacher turned to start calling role.

A few minutes later, Usagi was napping in class, to no one's surprise. "Tsukino-san! Did you do your homework?"

Usagi snapped out of it and looked up at Ms. Haruna. "Homework? Well, umm, you see…"

"Go stand in the hall!"

"Hai, hai…" Usagi muttered as she shuffled out of the room.


Mamoru had been wandering around all day in a haze. 'She didn't even look at me… What on earth is going on?' he wondered.

He headed into the arcade, knowing the girls would be out of school soon and would most likely head to the same place. When he got there, Minako was already sitting there talking to Motoki.

"Hey, Motoki-kun, Minako-chan! Minako, could I have a word?" he asked, giving the girl a look.

"Umm, hai, Mamoru-san. I'll be right back, Motoki-onii-san. Hai, Mamoru?" she asked cautiously. He looked slightly demonic at the moment.

"What the hell is going on with Usako?" he demanded immediately.

"I haven't the slightest idea," she murmured demurely. "Whatever do you mean?"

"You know damn well what I mean. She ran by me this morning and didn't even look at me. It's like she either didn't see me or didn't know who I was," he nearly bellowed.

"Is that so? Well, I'd have no idea why that would happen," she replied sweetly. "Maybe she's just giving you a taste of your own medicine."

At that point in their little… conversation, the doors slid open and Usagi walked in with Ami and Makoto, both of whom had already made friends with her again. Chibiusa was following Usagi, and Rei came in a few seconds later.

"Minako-chan! Rei-chan! There's someone here I want you to meet!" Makoto called.

"Coming, Mako-chan!" Minako replied. "Sorry, Mamoru-san, I have to go. My friends need me," she said, smirking as she walked away.

This little exchange simply left Mamoru even more confused. 'Someone I want you to meet? But the girls already know Usako, and there was no one new with them. What's going on? I should ask Chibiusa-chan. She might know.'

The thought had barely been completed in his head when Chibiusa popped into the booth across from him. "Hey, Mamo-chan!"

"Hi, Chibiusa-chan. Do you know what those girls are up to? Usako is acting funny."

Chibiusa stared at him. "You don't know?" she asked, disbelief evident in her face.

"Know what? So far no one has told me anything!" he exclaimed, eyeing the child. "What's going on?"

"Usagi… Usagi used the Ginzuishou to erase her memories. She didn't want to know any more. Since they defeated Rubeus, they didn't think it would be a problem," Chibiusa stammered, slightly scared by the look on his face. She had never seen such a fierce expression on his face, even when Usagi had been trapped in that eternal sleep which, luckily, hadn't been so eternal.

Mamoru sat back and started counting slowly, trying to rein in his temper. "And she did this why?"

"She told the girls that it was a better alternative than Princess Serenity's reaction to being alone. She didn't want to be alone, but she didn't want to die either. She said there was too much to live for."

'Oh, Kami, what have I done?' Mamoru wondered. "Do you know anything else?" he asked as calmly as he could.

"Umm, I know that she left the Ginzuishou with Rei-chan and gave the Luna Pen and her Moon Scepter to Minako-chan. What else did you want to know?" she replied.

"Did she say what to do to bring her memories back?"

"She asked Luna to bring them back only if absolutely necessary, I think. The Ginzuishou did a good job. She doesn't remember anything about being Sailor Moon or Princess Serenity or anything other than being a normal girl. She doesn't even remember meeting you, since you have such a huge connection to her other memories."

He slouched over his coffee at this. 'Why did I listen to those idiotic dreams? I thought she would just move on. I never imagined she'd do this.'


Prince Dimande watched the scene unfolding with amusement. It was really working out better than he had hoped. He'd known that feeding Mamoru those nightmares would alienate him from the Princess, but he'd never dreamed Serenity would completely erase her memories. It would make what he was doing much simpler.

"Esmeraude, come here," he ordered.

Esmeraude appeared in front of the throne, bowing. "Hai, Dimande-sama?"

"You're in charge of the operations in the past now. You know what to do."

Esmeraude bowed again as she vanished, heading to Saphir's laboratory to have him send her to the past, as the prince chuckled.

"Nice try, Serenity. Simply forgetting your troubles will by no means solve them. I will so enjoy meeting you at last."


Mamoru had decided that fate enjoyed confusing him. No sooner had Usagi erased her memories than his nightmares had ended as well. He really wanted advice and knew that all of the others that knew the truth, namely the Senshi, had no interest in helping him. He had no one to tell. After pacing around his apartment for five hours one afternoon, he decided he desperately needed to tell someone.

Naturally, for Mamoru, if he needed to talk to someone and it couldn't be Usagi, it would be Motoki. Mamoru headed out the door, turning toward the arcade, since his best friend had work that afternoon.

For the first time in the two weeks since Usagi had forgotten, Mamoru got lucky. When he showed up, Motoki was about to go on break, so they'd have a chance to talk privately. The two of them went into the arcade's back room so Mamoru could explain.

'Hopefully Motoki won't be too mad at me for keeping this a secret,' he thought. 'He hates it when I don't tell him something.'

"So, Mamoru-kun, what's so important that you can't talk to me in the arcade like usual? Having girl problems?" Motoki asked, watching without surprise when Mamoru suddenly jolted straight up.

"How did you know that?" he demanded.

"Hmm… one day you're dating Usagi-chan, next you're not. Now you're here looking like something the cat dragged in. One has to assume that it has something to do with whatever's wrong between the two of you. She doesn't even acknowledge your existence any more."

"That's part of the problem, though. Okay, I'm about to show you something, but you have to swear not to tell anyone and not to freak out," Mamoru said seriously.

One of Motoki's eyebrows shot up. "What are you, about to show me a dead body or something? I don't freak out that easily."

"Not exactly. Just watch and you'll find out," Mamoru replied as he pulled out one of his perfect Tuxedo Kamen roses. He transformed into his alter ego, watching as his best friend's jaw hit the floor.

"You… you're Tuxedo Kamen? How does Usagi-chan feel about this? After all, everyone knows Tuxedo Kamen has a thing for Sailor Moon."

"Usako IS Sailor Moon, Motoki-kun," Mamoru dead-panned. His friend looked like he was about to faint. It was almost amusing.

"Wait, our little Usagi-chan is… is SAILOR MOON?! Why didn't anyone tell me this earlier?" he demanded.

"Part of the whole superhero thing involves keeping it a secret. Usako's friend Naru didn't even know she was Sailor Moon, but she still got dragged into a lot of fights. By us not saying anything, we were protecting the people we were close to," he replied, hoping it would pacify his irate friend.

"But you still could have told me! Mamoru-kun, you should've trusted me with this secret a long time ago!"

"Motoki-kun, could we go over that later? I didn't tell you just so you could yell at me. I actually had a reason to reveal this to you." Mamoru paused and considered for a moment. "Oh, do you remember the Moonlight Knight? He was at the play I did with Usako and the others."

"Hmm, Moonlight Knight… Yeah, I remember him. Strange guy dressed all in white, wearing a mask over the lower half of his face, blue eyes, black… hair… Mamoru, that couldn't have been you, could it? You were there at the same time!" Motoki practically screamed.

"Please calm down. Hai, Moonlight Knight was me too, but not in the same way that I'm Tuxedo Kamen. Something happened at one point during our battles, and all of us, including the Senshi, lost their memories. The Senshi got theirs back quickly, but I still didn't remember. Essentially, Moonlight Knight was my subconscious desire to protect Usako."

"You superheroes have such complicated lives. Anyway," Motoki continued, trying to shrug off the shock, "what's the current problem?"

"Usako forgot everything. She doesn't remember being Sailor Moon, meeting me, anything," he said, feeling better to have someone to talk to.

"Is it like what happened when you said you and all the Senshi lost your memories?"

"Sort of, except that Usako lost hers voluntarily. The Senshi and I had lost ours as a result of a particular battle that cost all of us our lives. Do you remember when I vanished for a few weeks, a couple months back?"

"Sort of. I tried asking Usagi-chan if she'd seen you, but she wouldn't answer. She just kind of ignored the question."

Mamoru nodded. "Usako couldn't say anything without giving away our secrets. We'd just found out that the two of us, worst enemies, were actually two superheroes that had fallen in love with each other. It was a bit of a shock to both of us. Unfortunately, in addition to that, we were in a fight with one of our enemies. They tried to stab Sailor Moon from behind, but I jumped in the way."

"Wait, you got stabbed? Why am I just finding this out? Are you okay?" Motoki interrupted.

"Hai, I got stabbed. I'm fine; it was a long time ago. Can I finish explaining what happened now?"

"Um, yeah, go ahead, but next time you could warn me if there's going to be parts that scare me," the arcade owner suggested as he massaged his temples.

"I don't know if I can really do that. So far I've told you the least complicated parts. Just listen to the story," Mamoru ordered.

"Fine," Motoki muttered.

"Anyway, after that, we found out that we'd had a past life together as well. We'd been engaged then. Unfortunately, there was someone that had known me in my past life that had been obsessed with me. She was one of the ones behind all of those attacks. She kidnapped me and brainwashed me, and I ended up fighting against the Sailor Senshi for a while."

"You were stabbed AND brainwashed? Am I going to like the rest of this story?"

"Probably not. Can I continue now, or do you feel the need to add more commentary?" Mamoru asked drily.

"Go for it."

"After a couple tries, Sailor Moon managed to heal me, but then I got stabbed again and died."

"You DIED?! Why am I just finding this out? You could've told your best friend, you know!" Motoki's blond-ness was really showing.

"I thought I already mentioned it being part of the whole superhero thing. I'm not the only one that died that day, and I didn't even remember it myself till recently. I told you we'd lost our memories," he said with a shrug.

"You do realize it's not normal to shrug off things like dying, right?" Motoki said, eyeing his friend like he'd lost his mind.

"I've died twice. It's hard to be overly concerned by it after that," he pointed out.

"I don't think I'd want to be a superhero," Motoki decided. "Anyway, go on, I guess."

"The other Senshi had died that day, and Usako went to face the one behind the all the attacks. She won, but she died that day too. Her last wish as she lost consciousness was that all of us could live normal lives again, which is how we all came back without our memories. Usako's memories came back when the first attack after that happened, and her Senshi's came back the attack after that. I didn't get mine back till the very end of that particular enemy."

"How many enemies have there been? Most people assume it's still the same one."

"Strange assumption, considering the differences between the monsters of each. There were the youmas of the Dark Kingdom, the cardians of the Makaiju aliens, and now the droids of the Black Moon Clan, so there's been three enemies so far," Mamoru informed him.

"Yeah, I definitely don't want to be a superhero. I don't know how you can all still function." The blond shook his head. "You're all crazy to keep this up."

"That's part of the problem. Usako couldn't deal with what was going on any more so she erased her own memories."

"If it was just the usual fighting, why would she go so far as that?" Motoki asked, confused.

"That's kind of… not all of why she did it. First, there's Chibiusa-chan. We don't know who she is or where she comes from, but she has the same name as Usako."

"I thought Chibiusa was Usagi-chan's cousin," Motoki ventured, trying to fit everything together in his head.

Mamoru shook his head. "She's hypnotized people into believing that. We know she has something to do with the future, and that our enemy wants to catch her, as well as get their hands on the Ginzuishou."

"Ginzuishou? What's that?"

"The Ginzuishou is a special crystal. It belongs to Usako, and it's the major source of her powers. She's really the only one that can wield it properly, since the user has to have a certain bloodline."

"And what bloodline would that be?" Motoki pressed when his friend stopped.

"The wielder of the Ginzuishou has to be from the Royal Lunarian family," he said finally, somewhat hesitant on how much he should reveal, even if it was to his best friend.

"Royal Lunarian family? As in…?" Again with the blond moment. It's perfectly obvious what Lunarian means.

"As in from the moon, hai. Usako is the last remaining descendant, and she's only alive because her mother sent us all into the future when we died."

"Wait, if you were engaged to her past self, then you must have been royalty too…"

Mamoru nodded. "I was the crowned prince of Earth, Prince Endymion, although I was generally referred to as Prince of Terra. She was Princess Serenity of the Moon and her mother's only heir."

"Wow," Motoki said, sitting down heavily. "I'm friends with a Moon Princess and the Prince of the Earth. That was your past selves though, right?"

"Technically, I suppose we're still both, so I guess we're still betrothed too. The Moon gives its power to its Princess, the same way I draw my strength from the Earth and the Senshi draw strength from their respective planets. The Sailor Senshi had been princesses of their own planets as well as Princess Serenity's guardians."

"And the other Senshi would be who?"

"I can't really tell you that without their permission, although it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. Anyway, I've been having really strange nightmares recently, saying Usako would die if I got too close to her, so I broke it off and pushed her away. I think that's what tipped the scales and resulted in her erasing her own memories. She doesn't remember being Sailor Moon, Princess Serenity, or ever meeting me."

"You broke up with Usagi-chan because of some strange dreams? Mamoru-kun, are you really that much of a fool?" his friend demanded, smacking him upside the head with the end of a mop. Mamoru's hat fell off in the process. "I'm starting to think Usagi-chan's old nickname for you was well suited, Mamoru-baka."

"Thanks for the confidence vote," Mamoru said, sarcasm dripping from his words. "I had dreams about the Moon Princess before I ever met her, so I had to assume this dream was true too. The strange thing is that the dreams stopped right after Usako lost her memory. Since I'm not receiving threats that she'll die if I get too close anymore, I'm not sure what to do. Which brings me to why I told you all this, which she may very well kill me for when she remembers: what do I do now?"

"You might want to give me a few minutes to process everything you just told me before you expect coherent advice, Mamoru-kun. By the way, would you mind changing back? It's somewhat intimidating to have Tuxedo Kamen pacing around in the back of the arcade."

Mamoru glanced down at his expensive-looking tuxedo. "Oh, sorry, Motoki-kun. I didn't realize I was still transformed. I used to not be able to control my transformations, so I'm still not used to having to consciously direct it." He focused for a moment as his normal clothing came back.

"You didn't control it?" Motoki's curiosity had been piqued again.

"I didn't know I was Tuxedo Kamen at first. Remember when I used to complain to you about how I'd been having random blackouts?"

"Vaguely, but those stopped a long time ago, though."

"That was before I knew I was Tuxedo Kamen. When Usako needed me, I'd immediately transform and go to her. I could feel it when she was in trouble, and it was rather excruciatingly painful. I only transformed voluntarily maybe a dozen times since I found out."

"Okay, this is just getting weirder, so I think I'm going to stop asking questions. Back to the issue. I think if you're not receiving threats against her life in your dreams," he said, rolling his eyes at the very idea, "you should get to know her again. Introduce yourself and be charming. I know you can, too. Now that you know how to treat her instead of torturing the poor girl, make her like you. It's possible that if she falls in love with you all over again, she may get her memories back… I think."